seriously, i'm so sick of everyone's shit. i need to disappear for a while.

So I have bad news and good news. Paul got kicked out of his house, but he was fortunate enough to find an apartment conveniently located a few doors down from his job. He might be letting me move in as long as I can pay for half the rent. In order to do that, I have to either get a second or full time job. I have 2 interviews coming up this week, ( Read more... )

It seems that attempting to share my feelings with Paul turned out to be a waste of time. I tried telling him that I've been feeling horrible lately and I feel guilt for what I've done. He said that I'm heartless and I don't care about him. That completely crushed me. This is so hard for me because I tried getting away from him and everyone keeps ( Read more... )

So I'm really confused and I feel mislead. I don't know what to think anymore of the situation I have gotten myself into. I still care about Paul alot. He always tells me that he doesn't trust me and that he won't ever again. But his actions speak differently. I tried letting him go but it's really hard. I can't stay away. What do I do?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck my liiiiife.

Listening to this song brings on strong emotions. For the past few days, I've been hurting alot. But I think today I reached the peak of my pain. We've decided to be friends,start new. Things won't ever be the same. But, maybe that's a good thing..I hope this works out for the better,I really do. I have to be more open, I can't be afraid to share ( Read more... )

For the past few days, I've been having mixed emotions. Feeling better about myself,but at the same time feeling worse. If that makes any sense. I think I'm developing mental issues. I have major problems with myself. There's just so much that I have to do to improve myself more. Get back into school,find a good job. Why does it seem so difficult ( Read more... )

Crying doesn't do anything.
Begging and saying sorry doesn't do anything.
It seems that I am no longer important.
Rarely included in plans anymore.
I've never felt this helpless.

These feelings inside want to come out ( Read more... )

"Please don't go, I want you to stay.

I'm begging you please, please don't leave here.

I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel.

The world is just illusion trying to change you."

I really hate myself. That's it.

( Read more... )