When someone is dying, it is then and only then that they truly understand things. Well I am not dead, but I understand a whole lot bout "that situation". I am coming to under stand the phrase, "Just for a moment." That would explain everything. And that is that, Just a moment and nothign more. Yet my own heart decieved me as it always does, making ( Read more... )

I have fallen sooo fucken low I don't know who I am any more...my world is spinning out of control... in 2 months time... my life will be altered...I need help, but I don't know how to accpet it. I am pushing those I love and care for away. I have already started the cutting and drinking. All that is left is the isolation. I know everybody is in my ( Read more... )

I don't know any more... It is getting really hard for me again. My routine is coming back. The momentary happiness. But I guess the only thing left...the only thing I can do is vent...so here it goes ( Read more... )

I was talking to my sis, and I realized something. That in the end it will only be me and her. She has her reason for thinking so, as do I. I always sacrifice my happiness for the hapiness. Rather than being happy for myself I make other people happy, even if it invovles me hurting and suffering in the end... Is that a bad thing, preferring to make ( Read more... )

Lets see... The reatreat was GREAT...During recon the TEAM told me I was special, and along that short. It is interesting how I can summarize the 4 days into 1 run on sentence? But yeah I got a lot of time to think about things in my life. I dont know why but I feel that I might end up moving to Cali even though I want to graduate here. If they ( Read more... )

Today whne I got home, I found the wierdest thing on my desk. It was a napking with scribbling on it. I thought nothing of it, utill a name written on it caught my attention. It said Liz. Under that was her exact email. Under that was "love letter to liz". The thing is this was not my handwritting. My sister was with me, so that rules her out. My ( Read more... )

Yeah, it has been awhile. Lets see... Nothing much to report. I did have an intersting chat with a friend of mine. Ok, she may be a satanist, but she is one cool person. Basically, becasue she found out that I like the taste of blood, she conclucded that I have some part demon in me... Thats kinda cool...Also that I am a Romancer of Darkness and ( Read more... )

Woah...Livejournal...Boredom has its advatanges