First Glee Fic: Flash Yellow Excitement
Title: Flash Yellow Excitement
By: puremorphin
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen/One-shot
Pairings: No
Spoilers: No
Summary: A bus trip and a yellow car.
Starring: Santana, Brittany, Kurt, Mercedes, Rachel, Puck
Word Count: 1435
Notes: Inspired by a random word generator. Also, I don't own Glee or its characters, though I wish I did.
"Punch Buggy," Brittany punched Santana on the shoulder, who responded with a lethargic eyebrow raise.
"Am I the only one here bored out of my mind?" Puck asked, attempting to do chin-ups on the overhead compartment of the bus. The Glee club was on a three hour bus ride to their next competition, and less than halfway in, most people were already sick of it.
Except Rachel. Standing at the front of the bus with a huge smile plastered on her face, she trilled, "I was saving this for the third hour, but I can see my audience is getting restless. For your enjoyment, I will sing 'Tomorrow', from the musical 'Annie.' The sun'll come out, tomorrow!"
"Rachel, sit down," said Mr Schuester, rubbing his eyes tiredly and turning up the volume on his Walkman.
Santana glanced out the window, and noticed the car driving in the lane next to them. It was bright yellow, and the driver was, in Santana's not-so-humble opinion, hot. She stared at him, hoping he'd glance over. But no, he was keeping his eyes firmly on the road. Frowning, she tried tapping on the glass window.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked from the seat behind her, his face mainly obscured by a fashion magazine.
"Are you trying to get outside?" Brittany asked. "I used to do that, but then I realised that, even though you can see through windows, you can't go through them."
Santana rolled her eyes. "No, I'm trying to get the attention of Yellow Car."
Mercedes leaned over Kurt, who squeaked in protest, to look out the window. "Ohh, him? He's pretty good looking."
"But he isn't looking over."
Brittany unzipped her bag and found a piece of paper and a crayon. She started scribbling, leading the piece of paper on the seat in front of her.
"Why do you have a crayon?" Mercedes asked.
Brittany giggled. "What do you want me to write with, a hair brush?" After a few moments, she pressed the sheet to paper to the window. Santana waited eagerly, but the driver continued to ignore the bus.
"What did you write anyway," she asked huffedly, grabbing the sheet off Brittany. Santana looked at the sheet in confusion. "What is this?"
"I wrote 'Look over here.'"
Kurt lowered the magazine and took a look at the paper. "But you wrote it backwards."
"Duh," Brittany replied. "It gets reversed when he looks at it."
"...that's a mirror."
"Well, we could just do this," Brittany stood up in her seat, leaned over Santana, and lifted her shirt, pressing her bressiered chest against the window. As the vehicles rounded a corner, Yellow Car glanced to the left, and immediately had to do a swerve, his eyes flickering between the cheerleader and the road.
"Hell to the yeah," Santana grinned. "Nice thinking, Brittany."
"Boys love boobs," Brittany replied simply.
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I take exception to that."
"I mean boy boys. You're like a girl, and the stork had too much to drink, and got confused, and wrapped you in a blue blanket instead of a pink one."
After a moment of stunned, confused silence, Santana said, "Whatever," and lifted up her skirt to press her butt on the window. Yellow Car was definitely watching now, his face a mixture of interest and bewilderment.
Rachel chose that moment to storm down the aisle, intent to find out why her audience was not applauding her rendition of 'Someone Like You.' With a hand on her hip, she approached, saying, "I sure hope you have a good expla…" she trailed off as she saw the bared cheerleaders.
"Hi Rachel," Brittany said over her shoulder.
"...I'm telling Mr Schuester," Rachel said, and flouncily turned to storm back up the aisle, but Santana stopped her. Grabbing at her arm, she said, "Don't, Berry. Jeez, stop being such a buzzkill."
"But, you're being crude, disgusting, and unprofessional!" she argued.
Santana scoffed. "We'll probably never see Yellow Car again, what's the harm."
"I hate to say it, but I agree with Lopez," Mercedes admitted. "It's just a bit of fun."
Rachel glared at the four with squinted eyes for several uncomfortable moments, before huffing. "Okay, I will abstain from informing anyone of your illicit activities. Under one condition."
"What?"
She put on an evil smirk. "Kurt has to do it too."
Kurt blanched. "Scuse me?"
"Kurt flashes Yellow Car, or I get all of you on after school detentions during the Winter clothing sales."
He gasped, and Mercedes shook her head. "Damn, you're cold, girl."
Santana looked over at Kurt. "Well? Bare that pasty white ass!"
"This is completely ridiculous," he protested.
Brittany smiled. "Just pretend that your presenting to a zoo enclosure of gazelles."
"How is that any better?"
Rachel took a large, obvious step. "I'm going to te-ll."
With as much dignity as he could muster, Kurt rose to his feet, pulled down his pants and showed the world his butt, while staring daggers at Rachel.
"Is he seeing it?" Rachel asked.
Brittany nodded. "He's totally checking Kurt's ass out."
"Saks, Burberry, Macy's…" Kurt mumbled to himself, eyes scrunched shut.
Rachel crawled over the seat in front of Santana and Brittany, and looked at Yellow Car. "He's cute. Actually, he looks kinda familiar…"
"I don't think so," Puck said, squeezing in next to her. "He looks to...neat...to be from Lima."
"What are you even doing here?"
"What am I doing?" he repeated. "There are half-naked cheerleaders, where else would I be?"
"Hey, what's he doing?" Rachel squinted. Yellow Car appeared to be yelling at the window. Then he started touching the window. Oh, now Rachel could see what was happening.
"What, what's going on?" Santana asked, trying to look past her ass.
"He's writing on the window with the fog from his breath." Rachel said. "He's writing...L...E…"
"Lesbians?" Puck suggested.
"But I'm white," Brittany said.
"...F...T? Left?" Rachel furrowed her brow. "Left. What does that mean."
"Left!" Mercedes said. "Whose the furthest left out of our three flashers."
Everyone turned to look at him. "Kurt!"
Rachel raised a hand to her mouth. "Now he's writing 0…4...8… he's writing his phone number!"
"And I'm done," Kurt said quickly, pulling up his pants and pushing Mercedes into swapping seats.
"He looks disappointed," Rachel giggled.
Yellow Car honked his horn. Twice. Then, with a disappointed look on his face, he resumed watching the road.
Brittany and Santana sat back down in their seats. Santana wore a sour expression, muttering something about, "Fricking skinny white boy ass…"
"I still think he looks familiar…" Rachel said, but was cut off by Mr Schuester, who was standing up, saying, "Home stretch kids! Half an hour to the venue!"
***
They disembarked the bus. Puck was trying to convince Santana to flash more cars on the ride home. Brittany was rubbing her chest, which had gotten quite cold from leaning against the icy window. Kurt was still hiding behind his magazine, with Mercedes patting his shoulder.
"Why did Rachel insist on me partaking in that horrifying activity?" he asked.
Mercedes shrugged. "Maybe she just wanted to see your butt. Girls can be just as perverted as guys."
Kurt raised a tweezed brow. "Including you?" he asked, causing his friend to suddenly make herself very busy, checking her phone.
Mr Schuester led his Glee club to the foyer of their venue, where the three judges were having photos taken.
"Can I get one with all three of you together," asked one of the photographers. The three judges stood next to each other.
Rachel gulped, her eyes boring into the last judge in the lineup. The reason that Yellow Car had looked so familiar was because she'd seen his face in Show Choir Weekly. He was the third judge.
After the photo was taken, Mr Schue, full of pride, approached the judges. "Hi, I'm William Schuester, and I'm the director of New Directions, McKinley High's Glee club." He motioned towards his kids. "Come here and meet the judges, guys."
Rachel, despite desperately wanting to personally introduce herself to the judges, and perhaps slip them a CD of her fifty best Youtube performances, tried to hide her friends behind her back. It seems she forgot that she was much too short for this to be effective.
"Left?" he said, glimpsing Kurt. Kurt peeked over the magazine, and his eyes widened fearfully. "Yellow Car?" he gasped incredulously.
Mr Schuester glanced between the two of them. "Do you two know each-other?"
Santana pipped up. "Well, I hate to make Kurt the butt of a joke…"
THE END