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nyami_rose1 December 19 2009, 15:00:06 UTC
I think your paragraphs broke again. (Damned RTF!)

God, I wish I would have known you were sick! I would have prayed for you every night! (Whicvh is saying something for me...). I just fell horrible now. You shiould have told me, i would have tried to support you through such a hard time. I just assumed school was being pain in the neck :(

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purpion December 19 2009, 15:06:17 UTC
LJ is being icky.

Well, it was school, stress and other issues that caused my physical breakdown. I was able to log on to AIM through my phone and I was texting but I hardly had the energy to make any posts to the comms I was in. I was too drained.

It's okay. I know that you mean well and that's all that matters. After my return home, I barely had the energy to stay online all that much. I'm still feeling the pinch so my online time is rather limited. I feel much better, just now easing back into things is what I'm doing.

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x_mog December 19 2009, 18:33:02 UTC
When my Grandpa passed away a few years back I felt kinda icky when the holidays came around. He didn't pass away during the holidays but it was his favorite time of year. When Grandpa was alive he would stay up late wrapping presents. He liked them all to look nice and he liked to make sure everyone got something. He always found a way to figure out what you like without letting you know what he was up to ( ... )

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purpion December 19 2009, 22:21:24 UTC
First of all, thank you for responding. That is a very precious memory with a very precious background ( ... )

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x_mog December 21 2009, 15:32:32 UTC
I never really get much of a chance to talk about him. I think I rarely have since he passed away. So it felt good to share a little.

And thanks in return for sharing your own memories. :)

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smithsassistant December 20 2009, 03:35:43 UTC
What you said hit home for me. Of course as you and everyone else knows I just lost my grandmother before Thanksgiving. It is not easy knowing she is no longer around and I am trying to cope with that. I have many fond memories of my grandmother. I remember one Christmas very fondly. You see this is when Cabbage Patch dolls were popular and it was hard to get one. My grandmother came in that Christmas day and handed me one on the spot. This particular Cabbage Patch doll was special to me because she did not get it at a store. She actually made it for me. I was so thrilled to get it ( ... )

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purpion December 20 2009, 09:16:46 UTC
With this memory, I'm sure that she would be very proud to know that you remember those little moments and will choose to carry that with you. You can share her wisdom to others that would need it. Grieving is a hard process, true, but to be perfectly honest the heart has a way of mending and making sense of the chaos that surrounds us.

Even when grow older, we share little bits and pieces of our lives with others and we continue to provide our own versions of wisdom with others. Some may make sense, some may not but the reasons that you provided it makes it all worth it.

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dark_age_pearl December 24 2009, 19:05:43 UTC
This entry was heartfelt.

This year will be the first year ever in my life where my household family and I will not be joining the rest of my family at my grandparents' house. It's really sad when I think about how empty that house will be tomorrow... It's usually filled with two great-grandparents, six of their children with four spouses, 13 grandchildren, and I think we have 8 now great-grandchildren... Not to mention various boyfriends and girlfriends who've been coming (like my uncle's girlfriend of over 25 years...), neighbors, and various extended family members.

Forgive me if I sound selfish, for I know you were speaking more about your own than anything, but I just wanted you to know that I know what you mean.

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purpion December 25 2009, 02:22:01 UTC
Not at all. I am not offended in any way and I'm glad that you are wanting to talk about it. It is an empty feeling to have when you are used to having so much. It's this familial wealth that we have grown accustomed to having year after year. The generations that follow will continue to grow and change. Hopefully we'll be around to see the next and be the ones to offer the wisdom that was given to us for others.

You have my deepest sympathies.

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