its finally official - I have PCOS!
Its funny.... everyone I've told so far has been all "ohh, I'm sorry to hear that"... but I think it's a cause for celebration! I've finally got a diagnosis.
It all started like 2 years ago... I'd gone to the Dr because I was always exhausted and I was concerned with my skin and weight.... The Dr (who mum had warned me was a bitch, but at the time was really the only choice locally) basically fobbed me off with a "Well you can't just sit around eating cake all day, you need to exercise". Though she did do a blood test, and told me my blood sugar was high - to stop eating sugary foods.
I protested that have a quite good diet (so I believe)... I don't eat sweet foods much at all... I don't even have sugar in tea/coffee or on cereal (and I don't even really eat cereal because I don't like sweet food for brekky). Still she wasn't convinced. I went on about how If I'm making spag bol for example, I'll not only buy the premium (lowest fat) mince, but I "fry" it in a dry pan (no oil), and then go to the extra step of tipping it into a collander and letting the oil drain off, before returning it to the pan and continuing to cook! I don't use butter/margarine on sandwches - I think I have a reasonably heathy diet and I do try not to consume much fat or sugar (obviously I'm not a saint, and we do have pizza and burgers and bad foods occasionally, but it is only occasionally)...
Anyway.... I was pretty annoyed, Finally she mentioned something about carbs and GI... and I've gone "we'll we do eat a LOT of pasta and rice".... so she told me to limit that, and use basmati rice.... so I went off and looked up low GI foods...
I spent a few months being pretty miserable trying to eat not only low sugar and low fat, but also low GI and low carb... My favourite dish is mashed potato with cracked pepper and corn mixed through (add cheese if being decadent)... I'm a carb gal... But I switched to the lowest GI bread we have in Aus (a soy and linseed one that is delish but weird toasted because it's a bit sweet).... if making a rice dish for the family I'd serve myself barley instead or nothing... Tried to be good with exercising... And I ended up not losing weight... So I went back to fairly normal (still try to limit carbs but not obsessively so)
Anyway... I became aware last year that my periods had become really irregular.. as in I was missing 4-5 months at a time. That wasn't as unusual as it would be for most women, because I'd always be skipping periods if I was stressed.... but it occurred to me that I wasn't actually feeling stressed.... so there should be no reason... I'd heard of PCOS from somewhere before... to do with heavy periods....so I looked it up. I wondered if I fit the symptoms... hairy - check... lack of periods - hmmm not sure.... heavy periods - absolutely....
Several months later I decided to go to the dr and ask for a hormone test, because I was getting annoyed with my bad skin and hair on my chinny chin chin (and down my neck - not beared lady, but annoyingly stubbly)... figuring that this hair problem mixed with depression (which now MiniObsi was 4, was probably not able to be passed off as PND any more) was probably a hormone imbalance. The Dr (a new one this time) asked if my periods were regular... "umm, actually no...." I hadn't had one for 6 months at that stage... and I think she asked if it was heavy (or I said they were). "It could be PCOS"... so I had a blood test. Test came back saying my hormones were within normal levels, but same old blood sugars were high.... she mentioned "insulin resistance" - gah, my father is diabetic!!! (and so does my grandfather, but both got it when they were in their 50s, so it seems to hit later in life, rather than being a problem all through). So the next step would be an ultrasound. If I had cysts then it was PCOS, if not, then it still could be, btu maybe not.....I procrastinated a few months, then finally had one. Because I knew about PCOS, I asked the guy doing it if I had cysts on my ovaries. He said he couldn't tell me, but I had the number you'd expect to see in a woman my age, and that you need 20 or more to be considered polycystic ovaries, and I didn't have that many. So I procrastinated a bit more before finally going back to the Dr, who told me as I expected, no I don't have polycystic ovaries. Knowing that you can have PCOS without the polycystic ovaries, I asked for a referral to a gyno, hoping they could look into it more.
(side note - I see US women talking about Gynos often, here pap tests and things are done by a GP [well you could go to a gyno for one, but there is no need and they are considered specialists so very pricey] and you only see a Gyno if there is something above that need... it appears to be different in the US?) I picked one mum went to for her hystorectomy, who she said was nice (despite being a man)... so I made an appointment... had to wait several months to see him, missed the appointment (did I mention my memory is shot to bits and that is probably also related)... so had to wait a bit longer to see him.
So my appointment was today.
He starts with saying I need to lose weight...because that's causing it. I tell him that now I look back on it, I've been having irregular periods pretty much all my menstruating life - I'd always just put it down to stress.... and that I've not always been this big. I had a list of symptoms too :)
Then he goes on to say it's most definitely PCOS... I have too high male hormone (I forget which), hairyness (oddly I'm losing head hair and it's sprouting out my chin and neck instead - it's a cruel cruel world!), weight issues, insulin resistance, lack of periods, heavy periods.... it's absolutely PCOS.
So that was good. I knew I had it.
So he asked me what I wanted to achieve.... want my periods back, and the hair issues dealt with... but I'm not after fertility, that's not an issue. He prescribed me the pill, to regulate my hormones, and apparently that should (can take a few months) bring back my periods, and help the hair problem..... and he wants me to lose weight (obviously)... he suggested I see a dietician...
I hate that word.... dietician.... It conjures up images of the fat people you see on TV complaining about their weight, and they spread out on the table what they eat for the day and it's pizzas, coke, cake and other shit.... because they don't know how to eat properly.....I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I have a perfect diet, and I'm sure a dietician could offer some suggestions that would be good, but I think I'm pretty good with my diet.
It bugs me.... If you look through mum's pantry you see biscuits, cakes, lollies, packs of chips.... Her freezer.... full of boxes of "food" (I use that term loosely) most of the crumbed variety, which she then shallow fries..... ok, we have some biscuits at the moment, but you won't find lollies, cakes, chips or crap in my pantry. My freezer has some frozen steak and packs of frozen vegies (I mostly prefer fresh, but I do buy frozen peas, corn and spinach and have some stirfry vegies for emergencies). I've never deep fried a chip ("fries") in my life - if we do buy chips, I cook them in the oven.. (if we have burgers I make my own patties and grill them on a rack to let the fat drip off, where mum would fry them) she quite often has fried chips (she even has a special saucepan with a draining thingie)... she butters her sandwiches, as sugar in her tea.....she does no exercise either, eats the most terrible diet..... yet she's sort of average build and I'm fat. My sister isn't much better... I have friends who are similar (fish fingers and chips is a "normal" meal for their kids, where I consider that junkfood)... similar non-exercisy lifestyles.....and they aren't my size... Hubby eats the same food I do, more of it, no exercise, and he is slim. It's quite unfair.
I know one thing I need to fix.. I don't eat breakfast.... I'm just never hungry in the morning, and finding something inspiring to eat when I don't feel like eating is hard. I don't like cereal, Toast is bread so high GI (I don't like the low GI breads when they are toasted).... I'm not into yoghurt or porrige or pancakes or anything. If I do have brekky it's usually poached eggs (admittedly, on wholemeal toast)... or if we've had something like sausage rolls for dinner I'll have some leftovers for brekky... I find myself standing at the pantry going "shouldn't have toast, can't be bothered making poached eggs, don't feel like baked beans, don't like cereal.... buggerit, I won't bother".
I'm wondering if I should make up some breakfast foods specifically to inspire me to eat brekky.... some pureed vegies and spices in pastry triangles (which I call "Samosas" but is probably incorrect) would inspire me to have brekky.... my sausage rolls I make by processing premium mince with a few slices of wholemeal bread, a zucchini, a carrot and some spices..sometimes lentils added (so they are half mince/bread and half vegie)... maybe some quiches.... stiff like that? (yes, I'm a sucker for anything in pastry, just like I love my pasta, rice and potato). If its not something that excites me enough to eat, I just won't eat.... and then it will be 2pm before I realise I haven't had anything to eat. And something I can have in the fridge ready, that I just have to heat (I'm naughty and zap things in the microwave like that, but if I part cooked them I would then have to use the oven to heat and finish cooking them, and they would taste better than soggy nuked food)
I am interested in getting some ideas for breakfast from a dietician. I've heard of an "upside down" diet where you eat dinner at breakfast time, and breakfast for dinner.... I'd actually be into that.... a nice risotto for brekky would suit me fine, and I'd be more likely to eat cereal for dinner than breakfast. But I need things that are quick/easy to prepare so that I will eat them.... or else my laziness will kick in (since I don't have the hunger drive to push it) and I won't eat.
I know I do have food issues.... I always have... I worry people associate food with fatness..... I never used to like eating lunch at school (so I generally didn't) - It took me a while to be comfortable eating around people - really only when I started going out for dinner with friends as an adult...because of course if I eat food, people will go "well no wonder she's fat, she's eating!". I'm usually the last person to finish meals (I guess I eat slower), so I worry that people will think I'm a pig because I'm still eating (I know that makes no logical sense, but I do feel that way) We had a get together the other week and we'd decided to buy some doughnuts, and I had to walk through a shopping mall with a large box (the krispy kreme ones) of doughnuts, and I swear everyone was looking at me thinking I was a pig. I so nearly cried.... I'm definitely not doing that again, someone else can go pick them up. I feel guilty eating food in a shopping centre food court (unless it's a salad roll) That's why I used to make myself throw up after eating when I was younger.... feeling guilty for eating food. I'd skip brekky, throw up after lunch and only eat dinner. I never had the binge --> vomit thing.... I'd be too disgusted in myself to binge eat.... just feeling bad for having eaten the food (even if it was good healthy food) and wanting to get rid of it. I don't do that any more (haven't since I was a teenager - I only stopped because I could see how I was exhausted all the time), but I still have the guilt about eating....
I'm sort of torn between loving food (I am a Taurean afterall), and hating it at the same time.
I'll eat my yummy healthy vegie packed samosas, but know it's wrapped in pastry which has fat and carbs in it (and I even buy the more expensive 25% reduced fat pastry!)... and feel guilty because I love them dipped in sweet chilli sauce.... (which has sugar in it)
So yeah, going to a ..... dietician..... to me is like telling me I have to go do a parenting class because I've been naughty and a crap parent.... or something. I feel guilty about eating food as it is... And the Gyno said they will want a food diary.... fantastic.... last night was a movie night, so I had almost 2 glasses of coke and some lollies (only 4), and a handful of chips.. ontop of treating myself to some KFC "popcorn chicken" for lunch (though I did abstain from chips, but their chicken is fatty as all hell - which is why I don't eat it often at all, it makes me feel ill), and having a boysenberry scone (friend brought it over, I couldn't refuse!).... Which is like a whole weeks worth of junk crammed into the one day (and no breakfast). I did make nice healthy zucchini & carrot quiche for dinner though. I think I'll start the food diary today, not start on the Monday! Though today wasn't so great either...... Today I had no breakfast (d'oh!), 2 cheese sandwiches for lunch [I was starving] (ack, all those carbs! at least it was wholemeal bread which is slightly better... and I used the lazy pre-sliced proper cheese - I don't buy the plastic prewrapped scary preservative filled kind), 2 glasses of juice (we don't normally have juice but I'm trying to stave off a cold), a cup of (presweatened) chai at Macdonalds (felt guilty for using their carpark for my gyno appointment and MiniObsi begged to play in the playground, so I treated myself to a chai, which was sweet, so they obviously put sugar in there - was delish though!) and a vegetable stew for dinner (which was at least exceedingly healthy, if not a little bland)... maybe food diary should start tomorrow... with a good brekky.... (now... what to have?)
It all started like 2 years ago... I'd gone to the Dr because I was always exhausted and I was concerned with my skin and weight.... The Dr (who mum had warned me was a bitch, but at the time was really the only choice locally) basically fobbed me off with a "Well you can't just sit around eating cake all day, you need to exercise". Though she did do a blood test, and told me my blood sugar was high - to stop eating sugary foods.
I protested that have a quite good diet (so I believe)... I don't eat sweet foods much at all... I don't even have sugar in tea/coffee or on cereal (and I don't even really eat cereal because I don't like sweet food for brekky). Still she wasn't convinced. I went on about how If I'm making spag bol for example, I'll not only buy the premium (lowest fat) mince, but I "fry" it in a dry pan (no oil), and then go to the extra step of tipping it into a collander and letting the oil drain off, before returning it to the pan and continuing to cook! I don't use butter/margarine on sandwches - I think I have a reasonably heathy diet and I do try not to consume much fat or sugar (obviously I'm not a saint, and we do have pizza and burgers and bad foods occasionally, but it is only occasionally)...
Anyway.... I was pretty annoyed, Finally she mentioned something about carbs and GI... and I've gone "we'll we do eat a LOT of pasta and rice".... so she told me to limit that, and use basmati rice.... so I went off and looked up low GI foods...
I spent a few months being pretty miserable trying to eat not only low sugar and low fat, but also low GI and low carb... My favourite dish is mashed potato with cracked pepper and corn mixed through (add cheese if being decadent)... I'm a carb gal... But I switched to the lowest GI bread we have in Aus (a soy and linseed one that is delish but weird toasted because it's a bit sweet).... if making a rice dish for the family I'd serve myself barley instead or nothing... Tried to be good with exercising... And I ended up not losing weight... So I went back to fairly normal (still try to limit carbs but not obsessively so)
Anyway... I became aware last year that my periods had become really irregular.. as in I was missing 4-5 months at a time. That wasn't as unusual as it would be for most women, because I'd always be skipping periods if I was stressed.... but it occurred to me that I wasn't actually feeling stressed.... so there should be no reason... I'd heard of PCOS from somewhere before... to do with heavy periods....so I looked it up. I wondered if I fit the symptoms... hairy - check... lack of periods - hmmm not sure.... heavy periods - absolutely....
Several months later I decided to go to the dr and ask for a hormone test, because I was getting annoyed with my bad skin and hair on my chinny chin chin (and down my neck - not beared lady, but annoyingly stubbly)... figuring that this hair problem mixed with depression (which now MiniObsi was 4, was probably not able to be passed off as PND any more) was probably a hormone imbalance. The Dr (a new one this time) asked if my periods were regular... "umm, actually no...." I hadn't had one for 6 months at that stage... and I think she asked if it was heavy (or I said they were). "It could be PCOS"... so I had a blood test. Test came back saying my hormones were within normal levels, but same old blood sugars were high.... she mentioned "insulin resistance" - gah, my father is diabetic!!! (and so does my grandfather, but both got it when they were in their 50s, so it seems to hit later in life, rather than being a problem all through). So the next step would be an ultrasound. If I had cysts then it was PCOS, if not, then it still could be, btu maybe not.....I procrastinated a few months, then finally had one. Because I knew about PCOS, I asked the guy doing it if I had cysts on my ovaries. He said he couldn't tell me, but I had the number you'd expect to see in a woman my age, and that you need 20 or more to be considered polycystic ovaries, and I didn't have that many. So I procrastinated a bit more before finally going back to the Dr, who told me as I expected, no I don't have polycystic ovaries. Knowing that you can have PCOS without the polycystic ovaries, I asked for a referral to a gyno, hoping they could look into it more.
(side note - I see US women talking about Gynos often, here pap tests and things are done by a GP [well you could go to a gyno for one, but there is no need and they are considered specialists so very pricey] and you only see a Gyno if there is something above that need... it appears to be different in the US?) I picked one mum went to for her hystorectomy, who she said was nice (despite being a man)... so I made an appointment... had to wait several months to see him, missed the appointment (did I mention my memory is shot to bits and that is probably also related)... so had to wait a bit longer to see him.
So my appointment was today.
He starts with saying I need to lose weight...because that's causing it. I tell him that now I look back on it, I've been having irregular periods pretty much all my menstruating life - I'd always just put it down to stress.... and that I've not always been this big. I had a list of symptoms too :)
Then he goes on to say it's most definitely PCOS... I have too high male hormone (I forget which), hairyness (oddly I'm losing head hair and it's sprouting out my chin and neck instead - it's a cruel cruel world!), weight issues, insulin resistance, lack of periods, heavy periods.... it's absolutely PCOS.
So that was good. I knew I had it.
So he asked me what I wanted to achieve.... want my periods back, and the hair issues dealt with... but I'm not after fertility, that's not an issue. He prescribed me the pill, to regulate my hormones, and apparently that should (can take a few months) bring back my periods, and help the hair problem..... and he wants me to lose weight (obviously)... he suggested I see a dietician...
I hate that word.... dietician.... It conjures up images of the fat people you see on TV complaining about their weight, and they spread out on the table what they eat for the day and it's pizzas, coke, cake and other shit.... because they don't know how to eat properly.....I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I have a perfect diet, and I'm sure a dietician could offer some suggestions that would be good, but I think I'm pretty good with my diet.
It bugs me.... If you look through mum's pantry you see biscuits, cakes, lollies, packs of chips.... Her freezer.... full of boxes of "food" (I use that term loosely) most of the crumbed variety, which she then shallow fries..... ok, we have some biscuits at the moment, but you won't find lollies, cakes, chips or crap in my pantry. My freezer has some frozen steak and packs of frozen vegies (I mostly prefer fresh, but I do buy frozen peas, corn and spinach and have some stirfry vegies for emergencies). I've never deep fried a chip ("fries") in my life - if we do buy chips, I cook them in the oven.. (if we have burgers I make my own patties and grill them on a rack to let the fat drip off, where mum would fry them) she quite often has fried chips (she even has a special saucepan with a draining thingie)... she butters her sandwiches, as sugar in her tea.....she does no exercise either, eats the most terrible diet..... yet she's sort of average build and I'm fat. My sister isn't much better... I have friends who are similar (fish fingers and chips is a "normal" meal for their kids, where I consider that junkfood)... similar non-exercisy lifestyles.....and they aren't my size... Hubby eats the same food I do, more of it, no exercise, and he is slim. It's quite unfair.
I know one thing I need to fix.. I don't eat breakfast.... I'm just never hungry in the morning, and finding something inspiring to eat when I don't feel like eating is hard. I don't like cereal, Toast is bread so high GI (I don't like the low GI breads when they are toasted).... I'm not into yoghurt or porrige or pancakes or anything. If I do have brekky it's usually poached eggs (admittedly, on wholemeal toast)... or if we've had something like sausage rolls for dinner I'll have some leftovers for brekky... I find myself standing at the pantry going "shouldn't have toast, can't be bothered making poached eggs, don't feel like baked beans, don't like cereal.... buggerit, I won't bother".
I'm wondering if I should make up some breakfast foods specifically to inspire me to eat brekky.... some pureed vegies and spices in pastry triangles (which I call "Samosas" but is probably incorrect) would inspire me to have brekky.... my sausage rolls I make by processing premium mince with a few slices of wholemeal bread, a zucchini, a carrot and some spices..sometimes lentils added (so they are half mince/bread and half vegie)... maybe some quiches.... stiff like that? (yes, I'm a sucker for anything in pastry, just like I love my pasta, rice and potato). If its not something that excites me enough to eat, I just won't eat.... and then it will be 2pm before I realise I haven't had anything to eat. And something I can have in the fridge ready, that I just have to heat (I'm naughty and zap things in the microwave like that, but if I part cooked them I would then have to use the oven to heat and finish cooking them, and they would taste better than soggy nuked food)
I am interested in getting some ideas for breakfast from a dietician. I've heard of an "upside down" diet where you eat dinner at breakfast time, and breakfast for dinner.... I'd actually be into that.... a nice risotto for brekky would suit me fine, and I'd be more likely to eat cereal for dinner than breakfast. But I need things that are quick/easy to prepare so that I will eat them.... or else my laziness will kick in (since I don't have the hunger drive to push it) and I won't eat.
I know I do have food issues.... I always have... I worry people associate food with fatness..... I never used to like eating lunch at school (so I generally didn't) - It took me a while to be comfortable eating around people - really only when I started going out for dinner with friends as an adult...because of course if I eat food, people will go "well no wonder she's fat, she's eating!". I'm usually the last person to finish meals (I guess I eat slower), so I worry that people will think I'm a pig because I'm still eating (I know that makes no logical sense, but I do feel that way) We had a get together the other week and we'd decided to buy some doughnuts, and I had to walk through a shopping mall with a large box (the krispy kreme ones) of doughnuts, and I swear everyone was looking at me thinking I was a pig. I so nearly cried.... I'm definitely not doing that again, someone else can go pick them up. I feel guilty eating food in a shopping centre food court (unless it's a salad roll) That's why I used to make myself throw up after eating when I was younger.... feeling guilty for eating food. I'd skip brekky, throw up after lunch and only eat dinner. I never had the binge --> vomit thing.... I'd be too disgusted in myself to binge eat.... just feeling bad for having eaten the food (even if it was good healthy food) and wanting to get rid of it. I don't do that any more (haven't since I was a teenager - I only stopped because I could see how I was exhausted all the time), but I still have the guilt about eating....
I'm sort of torn between loving food (I am a Taurean afterall), and hating it at the same time.
I'll eat my yummy healthy vegie packed samosas, but know it's wrapped in pastry which has fat and carbs in it (and I even buy the more expensive 25% reduced fat pastry!)... and feel guilty because I love them dipped in sweet chilli sauce.... (which has sugar in it)
So yeah, going to a ..... dietician..... to me is like telling me I have to go do a parenting class because I've been naughty and a crap parent.... or something. I feel guilty about eating food as it is... And the Gyno said they will want a food diary.... fantastic.... last night was a movie night, so I had almost 2 glasses of coke and some lollies (only 4), and a handful of chips.. ontop of treating myself to some KFC "popcorn chicken" for lunch (though I did abstain from chips, but their chicken is fatty as all hell - which is why I don't eat it often at all, it makes me feel ill), and having a boysenberry scone (friend brought it over, I couldn't refuse!).... Which is like a whole weeks worth of junk crammed into the one day (and no breakfast). I did make nice healthy zucchini & carrot quiche for dinner though. I think I'll start the food diary today, not start on the Monday! Though today wasn't so great either...... Today I had no breakfast (d'oh!), 2 cheese sandwiches for lunch [I was starving] (ack, all those carbs! at least it was wholemeal bread which is slightly better... and I used the lazy pre-sliced proper cheese - I don't buy the plastic prewrapped scary preservative filled kind), 2 glasses of juice (we don't normally have juice but I'm trying to stave off a cold), a cup of (presweatened) chai at Macdonalds (felt guilty for using their carpark for my gyno appointment and MiniObsi begged to play in the playground, so I treated myself to a chai, which was sweet, so they obviously put sugar in there - was delish though!) and a vegetable stew for dinner (which was at least exceedingly healthy, if not a little bland)... maybe food diary should start tomorrow... with a good brekky.... (now... what to have?)