Summer School part 2
Monday morning I turned up to lab to be told I wouldn't be working with Anne any more, I would be working with Jerome. Jerome turned out to be lovely, but about as slow and prone to making mistakes as I am, so it wasn't the most helpful pairing in the world. I assumed that all of the pairings were being swapped around so that we could get to know each other, but in fact we were the only ones changed round. I spoke to Anne about it later and she said that neither she nor Jerome's previous partner had requested a change, so it remains a mystery. I may be paranoid, but it did have an air of 'put the stupid ones together and ignore them' about it.
Activity B was a kinetics experiment with a large mathematical element (well, ok, we had to use y=mx+c to get some results from graphs, so not exactly rocket science) so I was completely within my comfort zone. The course director had evidently spoken to my tutor and she was terribly, terribly attentive, for slimy values of attentive. Annoyingly, we didn't actually need any help with this one, because it was just doing *more* absorbance spectra in a hurry. The logic of doing about eight spectra on day 1 and then spending all of day 2 and half day 3 doing the same again is lost on me I'm afraid.
In the queue for dinner I met a chap from the red group who was also having a shit time and he confessed to having cried too. He told me that when he had approached his tutor for help, the tutor had given the answer but then turned to a colleague and said, " God, he's asking questions already." At least I wasn't the only one then. That evening there was a pretty tedious session on lab report writing, and then I worked until 1.30am.
Tuesday morning was more of the same. Again, there was no time to think about what we were doing, why, or what the results meant. The book said that we would be taught about considering experimental error, and statistical methods for estimating uncertainties, but unsurprisingly this did not happen. At the end of the morning, we were advised to plot something completely spurious (which I ignored) thus buggering up the calculation for most people. Some of them were out by more than one order of magnitude but our tutor evidently had no idea why this was so and told them not to worry! I spent some of the lunch break explaining to people how they needed to modify their calculation to give the correct result, and the rest of it eating lunch while feeling pretty despondent.
While I was sitting there a chap I'd not met from the green group called Andy came to sit with me and asked if I was ok. We chatted and it turned out he was yet another one who was having a totally shitty time and also had an unhelpful tutor. It was fast becoming apparent that I was not the only unhappy one! He suggested I should not be working until all hours but should try relaxing a bit. Good advice I think.
That afternoon we started on Actvity C, the synthesis of an azo dye, working individually rather than in pairs. This was totally boggling. Lots of equipment I'd never seen before, complicated instructions that needed to be followed exactly, the same lack of help... my tutor seemed to spend all her time chatting with the people who were steaming ahead rather than those falling behind. By the end of the afternoon I had got as far as synthesising and purifying my benzocaine, but not recrystallising it. My tutor had totally ignored me all day and hadn't noticed, and neither had the activity tutor, despite the fact that I'd asked her to show me how to use a Buechner funnel not long before (and I have to say was very helpful). Finally she did notice, and got into a flap. " Oh dear, oh dear. What are we going to do? Oh dear. Well. *exasperated sigh*. We'll just have to leave it." I felt that all my careful work of the afternoon was worthless. I was upset and angry. I went to the loo and cried.
As I was trying to get myself together to go for dinner the course director arrived and asked what was wrong. I told him I didn't understand the point of this summer school. What was the point of rushing through so much without any understanding? I pointed out that we were not covering the learning objectives that were described in the books. He just answered that there was a lot to get through in the time and we could think about it later. I didn't understand why there needed to be such a lot. Rather than doing a dozen absorption spectra, why not do three and then get the class to share results? His answer seemed to be 'because that's how it is'.
I was angry and rebellious. I'd pretty much decided to go home the next morning. I went to the bar and ordered a triple gin & tonic. Outside the bar were some benches where I found Andy and some other reprobates drinking and smoking. I got some more gin.
At 6.30 we were supposed to pin up our pre-prepared 'posters' (printed-out PowerPoint presentations) ready for everyone to see them at 7.15. I couldn't be arsed. At 7.45 I dragged myself away and pinned it up. At 8.30, as I was on gin #7, my tutor turned up to look at it. I think she was surprised that it was actually rather brilliant and she said I should be proud of it. Not so stupid after all, huh?
I can't remember what time I went to bed but it was late, and I'd had a great evening and a lot of laughs.
Activity B was a kinetics experiment with a large mathematical element (well, ok, we had to use y=mx+c to get some results from graphs, so not exactly rocket science) so I was completely within my comfort zone. The course director had evidently spoken to my tutor and she was terribly, terribly attentive, for slimy values of attentive. Annoyingly, we didn't actually need any help with this one, because it was just doing *more* absorbance spectra in a hurry. The logic of doing about eight spectra on day 1 and then spending all of day 2 and half day 3 doing the same again is lost on me I'm afraid.
In the queue for dinner I met a chap from the red group who was also having a shit time and he confessed to having cried too. He told me that when he had approached his tutor for help, the tutor had given the answer but then turned to a colleague and said, " God, he's asking questions already." At least I wasn't the only one then. That evening there was a pretty tedious session on lab report writing, and then I worked until 1.30am.
Tuesday morning was more of the same. Again, there was no time to think about what we were doing, why, or what the results meant. The book said that we would be taught about considering experimental error, and statistical methods for estimating uncertainties, but unsurprisingly this did not happen. At the end of the morning, we were advised to plot something completely spurious (which I ignored) thus buggering up the calculation for most people. Some of them were out by more than one order of magnitude but our tutor evidently had no idea why this was so and told them not to worry! I spent some of the lunch break explaining to people how they needed to modify their calculation to give the correct result, and the rest of it eating lunch while feeling pretty despondent.
While I was sitting there a chap I'd not met from the green group called Andy came to sit with me and asked if I was ok. We chatted and it turned out he was yet another one who was having a totally shitty time and also had an unhelpful tutor. It was fast becoming apparent that I was not the only unhappy one! He suggested I should not be working until all hours but should try relaxing a bit. Good advice I think.
That afternoon we started on Actvity C, the synthesis of an azo dye, working individually rather than in pairs. This was totally boggling. Lots of equipment I'd never seen before, complicated instructions that needed to be followed exactly, the same lack of help... my tutor seemed to spend all her time chatting with the people who were steaming ahead rather than those falling behind. By the end of the afternoon I had got as far as synthesising and purifying my benzocaine, but not recrystallising it. My tutor had totally ignored me all day and hadn't noticed, and neither had the activity tutor, despite the fact that I'd asked her to show me how to use a Buechner funnel not long before (and I have to say was very helpful). Finally she did notice, and got into a flap. " Oh dear, oh dear. What are we going to do? Oh dear. Well. *exasperated sigh*. We'll just have to leave it." I felt that all my careful work of the afternoon was worthless. I was upset and angry. I went to the loo and cried.
As I was trying to get myself together to go for dinner the course director arrived and asked what was wrong. I told him I didn't understand the point of this summer school. What was the point of rushing through so much without any understanding? I pointed out that we were not covering the learning objectives that were described in the books. He just answered that there was a lot to get through in the time and we could think about it later. I didn't understand why there needed to be such a lot. Rather than doing a dozen absorption spectra, why not do three and then get the class to share results? His answer seemed to be 'because that's how it is'.
I was angry and rebellious. I'd pretty much decided to go home the next morning. I went to the bar and ordered a triple gin & tonic. Outside the bar were some benches where I found Andy and some other reprobates drinking and smoking. I got some more gin.
At 6.30 we were supposed to pin up our pre-prepared 'posters' (printed-out PowerPoint presentations) ready for everyone to see them at 7.15. I couldn't be arsed. At 7.45 I dragged myself away and pinned it up. At 8.30, as I was on gin #7, my tutor turned up to look at it. I think she was surprised that it was actually rather brilliant and she said I should be proud of it. Not so stupid after all, huh?
I can't remember what time I went to bed but it was late, and I'd had a great evening and a lot of laughs.