I just finished reading Five Minutes in Heaven. And really it's a good thing I did. That book has been a terrible distraction from my work. All I have wanted to do is read it. Besides, lately, I've been looking for answers to my life in everything I read or see. Even movies as passive and silly as Life or something Like it--I search and search ( Read more... )

K and I just got back from seeing Y Tu Mama Tambien. K hated it...almost violently. I liked it, but now I'm confused about it. She says it was a dumb, dumb pointless movie about sex and smoking weed. I thought it was more than that.... Or am I just looking too hard? But I made my points about the movie (life, truth, the mundane set against ( Read more... )

I am just losing it today. I lived through subbing the fifth/sixth graders, but today I'm just having a complete meltdown. I am not functional, and it's pissing me off. I am so upset and confused that even writing seems futile, because I can't put it all down in words. I am mad at myself for not doing the things I NEED to be doing, and I know I ( Read more... )

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't knwo what to do with my life. I don't know where my life is going.These are entirely new concepts to me. I've always known: I would grow up. I would teach. I would become a professor of English. I would write brilliant things. I would have exellent conversations. I would help minds to ( Read more... )

I am shitting my pants. I got called in as substitute at one of the local elementary schools tomorrow. I teach college. I don't know the first thing about fifth and sixth graders. I'm really freaked out. I mean what are fifth and sixth graders like these days? I think they scare me a bit. It'll be an adventure, a different, really different ( Read more... )

Dear L,

I just got off the phone with you. I told you maybe you shouldn't come back to Vermont this summer...you're not a "Vermont girl" anymore. It makes me sad.

I fell for you hard because I thought you were different from the rest. Different from the other girls. Different from the other "kids" your age. And now I don't know. I don't ( Read more... )

It's official. I skipped the gym today. I am reading Five Minutes in Heaven by Lisa Alther, and I'm completely sucked in. I've been lying around all day, reading. I'm feeling quite guilty about it (so of course I run to LJ for affirmation). I've just been dying for time to read and read and read. I have to work at 2. I just want to read and ( Read more... )

Background: K works days -- has to be at work at 7am. I work nights -- often teaching, influencing minds, until close 9 or 10 at night ( Read more... )

I'm frozen solid. It's about 45 degrees outside right now and about 40 degrees in my house. I didn't build a fire last night, and the temperature dropped into the 20s. It was 30 upon waking this morning. I feel like I'll never be warm again. I ran my fingers under hot water, just to be able to type. Because I leave for the entire day, it is ( Read more... )

My house is filled with spiders. I see, on a daily basis, between three and four DIFFERENT spiders in my house. Some I take outdoors, some I let stay (based on how much they take me by surprise and how much they are invading my space--if they are in the shower, they go outside ( Read more... )