goat
I think my roommate and I wrote this fic out loud at the top of our lungs while watching the first episode of Heroes season 2, while she was wearing her favorite tiara half the time and plotting world domination AUs. And it didn't even turn out flamboyant enough.
Title: Goat
Author/Artist: purplekitte
Rating: PG-13
Pairing or Character(s): Ariana, Aberforth, a goat, Albus/Gellert
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, I swear, I would have noticed.
Warnings: implied sexual acts, Ariana POV which really needs to be a warning here
Author's Note: Crack.
Brother and Brother’s Friend were kissing again. Ariana hummed a few measures of “God Bless Thee Merry Gentlemen” and played with a stray bit of her hair.
“You’re happy today,” said Goat. Aberforth baaed.
Mama would be in the kitchen cooking, but Mama wasn’t there. Ariana frowned. Mama wasn’t in the kitchen, so no one was in the kitchen. Then who would cook?
“Let’s make cake,” she cried and ran for the kitchen, her brother and the goat chasing after.
Ariana carefully took down the mixing bowls from the shelves like Mama had taught her, only tripping on her skirt a little when she had to climb on the counter to reach the highest one.
“Are you sure the egg shells are supposed to go in too?” asked Goat.
“Uh huh. Egg shells hold everything inside together, like cake skin.”
She poured in milk till the bottle was empty and flour until it made her sneeze.
“Baking powder?”
“Baa,” said Aberforth.
“I don’t know which it is.” She looked up from trying to measure sugar in a spoon even though when she poured it it seemed to land everywhere around the spoon. Deciding salt looked like baking powder she poured that in too.
Mama and Papa would like it, right? She nodded to herself. Of course they would. And when they smelled it baking it would smell so good they’d come out from wherever they were hiding. Possibly with toucans.
“We need to build a perch for the toucans so they’ll have somewhere comfy to sit.” She ran off for the woodshed because you always had to wait a long time for cake.
“Wait, you don’t need to build a bird house… stand!”
“Right!” She hit her hand with her fist. “They can use a moose horn. I wonder if the cake is ready yet?”
It was still a bit runny, but then it would be like pudding. Everyone loved pudding. Did Brother’s Friend like pudding? She would go check. Gathering two bowls of cake, she ran up the stairs.
Brother and Brother’s Friend were doing Mama and Papa things when Ariana burst through the door with cake. The door had been locked which was probably why they hadn’t smelled the delicious cake.
“Ariana, you’re not supposed to be in here.”
“Baa,” said Aberforth behind her.
“She--”
“Mama didn’t make cake.”
“She made--”
“You made us cake?” Brother’s Friend’s face lit up. He took it and practically spun around, turning to the window, where his shirt was strewn. Ariana wondered why he would put his shirt on the windowsill and if she could try. But maybe that was why he talked funny, so maybe she wouldn’t. Opening the window he poured the bowl out on the unsuspecting Muggles below. “That’s wonderful. I love it.”
“You do?” Ariana practically sparkled. “I’ll make more!”
“That really won’t be--” began Brother.
“Come on.”
“Baa.”
Aberforth and Goat dragged her backwards out.
Title: Goat
Author/Artist: purplekitte
Rating: PG-13
Pairing or Character(s): Ariana, Aberforth, a goat, Albus/Gellert
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, I swear, I would have noticed.
Warnings: implied sexual acts, Ariana POV which really needs to be a warning here
Author's Note: Crack.
Brother and Brother’s Friend were kissing again. Ariana hummed a few measures of “God Bless Thee Merry Gentlemen” and played with a stray bit of her hair.
“You’re happy today,” said Goat. Aberforth baaed.
Mama would be in the kitchen cooking, but Mama wasn’t there. Ariana frowned. Mama wasn’t in the kitchen, so no one was in the kitchen. Then who would cook?
“Let’s make cake,” she cried and ran for the kitchen, her brother and the goat chasing after.
Ariana carefully took down the mixing bowls from the shelves like Mama had taught her, only tripping on her skirt a little when she had to climb on the counter to reach the highest one.
“Are you sure the egg shells are supposed to go in too?” asked Goat.
“Uh huh. Egg shells hold everything inside together, like cake skin.”
She poured in milk till the bottle was empty and flour until it made her sneeze.
“Baking powder?”
“Baa,” said Aberforth.
“I don’t know which it is.” She looked up from trying to measure sugar in a spoon even though when she poured it it seemed to land everywhere around the spoon. Deciding salt looked like baking powder she poured that in too.
Mama and Papa would like it, right? She nodded to herself. Of course they would. And when they smelled it baking it would smell so good they’d come out from wherever they were hiding. Possibly with toucans.
“We need to build a perch for the toucans so they’ll have somewhere comfy to sit.” She ran off for the woodshed because you always had to wait a long time for cake.
“Wait, you don’t need to build a bird house… stand!”
“Right!” She hit her hand with her fist. “They can use a moose horn. I wonder if the cake is ready yet?”
It was still a bit runny, but then it would be like pudding. Everyone loved pudding. Did Brother’s Friend like pudding? She would go check. Gathering two bowls of cake, she ran up the stairs.
Brother and Brother’s Friend were doing Mama and Papa things when Ariana burst through the door with cake. The door had been locked which was probably why they hadn’t smelled the delicious cake.
“Ariana, you’re not supposed to be in here.”
“Baa,” said Aberforth behind her.
“She--”
“Mama didn’t make cake.”
“She made--”
“You made us cake?” Brother’s Friend’s face lit up. He took it and practically spun around, turning to the window, where his shirt was strewn. Ariana wondered why he would put his shirt on the windowsill and if she could try. But maybe that was why he talked funny, so maybe she wouldn’t. Opening the window he poured the bowl out on the unsuspecting Muggles below. “That’s wonderful. I love it.”
“You do?” Ariana practically sparkled. “I’ll make more!”
“That really won’t be--” began Brother.
“Come on.”
“Baa.”
Aberforth and Goat dragged her backwards out.