Big!Bang Post
Subject: Rush/Chloe Stargate Universe
Content: Large fic, five picspams, and some wallpapers and banners.
As I use a widescreen, my picspams are generally quite large & wide, so I'm thumbnailed them for you as to not kill the width of your pages;
Pathogen Picspams
one;
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five!
every princess needs her prince - banner 01
banner 01 - no text
pathogen banner
destiny banner
crush tears of an angel banner
chloecentric wallpaper
crushcentric death wallpaper with text
crushcentric death wallpaper no text
chloecentric death wallpaper
chloecentric death wallpaper, alternate manip
Story: Destiny's End
Pairing: Rush/Chloe, mostly Chloe-centric although Rush gets his POV in, as well. Scott later plays an important role.
Word Count: 9,190
Genre: Angst, Romance, Faith
Rating: NC-17 for dealings with suicide, religious concepts (ie. Christianity) , character-death and health-concepts (ie. cancer)
Summary: Chloe Armstrong & Nicholas Rush were meant to be together from the beginning. A chain of events linking them together comes to pass, and Destiny will indeed play out until the end of the mission. Please, keep in mind the rating & reasoning. You have been warned.
Shades of white enveloped Chloe as she stood, feet firmly onto the floor. She squinted through the light, trying to make sense of any sort of where she was, and how she had gotten there. She couldn't remember where she had been last; she could only remember this moment, this one moment. For some reason, her heart was pounding.
As if in a blink of an eye, red flower petals littered the shiny white floor around her, despite her having not taken a step. She took a breath, and a red rose bouquet was in her hands, a flowing white dress suddenly enveloped her form, and it became even harder to breathe. Her heart pounded harder - something was wrong, she didn't want this, so what was happening?
A little ways away where she couldn't see, a young man adjusted the tie on his tuxedo, carefully, oh - so carefully. He had to be exactly right, for he was meeting with someone special, someone perfect. Pleased, soft lips form a smile as they move towards the goal - towards perfection laced in a soft, white dress. She enjoyed roses, he knew.
Chloe was moving now, and she felt another presence. Her body immediately stiffened, as she hadn't figured out her situation yet, and wasn't sure if he wanted company. Looking down in distress, she found her feet moving forward without her consent.
He was walking towards her now, his tie lined up gracefully to his suit - everything so precise, so intellectual. It was all so perfect, as if numbers lined up behind each color and movement, like a computer game - but so much more real. His heart soared as the rose petals on the ground came into view, as did she oh, such grace.
Chloe's heart sank as Lieutenant Matthew Scott came into view, his eyes gleaming brightly with happiness, his suit so prim and proper that it almost seemed glossy; fake.
"Chloe," his voice came out distorted, almost as if she was underwater and was hearing everything in slow motion, yet there he stood directly in front of her.
Her brain was screaming, telling him to run, far, far away. She could feel herself begin to slip into a warm darkness on the inside, and it was beginning to grow. Her lips were moving, but bubbles came out when she attempted to scream his name, reminding her of when she was in the blue alien’s captivity, in one of their creepy tanks.
"You're so beautiful in red," distorted words reached her again, but there was nothing she could do.
Warmth continued to envelop her, and she looked down at her stomach, confused by the strong feeling. She couldn't gasp, under the weight of the invisible water against her mouth, but only look in horror as what looked like a small supernova grew was starting to grow outward, and it was pulsing.
What bothered her most was Scott's reaction - he looked down and smiled, shaking his head back and forth like he usually did and reached his hand out to her, but she didn't reciprocate.
"We're gonna fix this," he promised, the naive hope still written all over his face, even as she was slowing exploding inside-to-out. Her body was literally ripping her apart, she felt.
A hot pain was starting to gnaw at her, but she couldn't make it stop - she couldn't make any of it stop, no matter what she willed. She was slowly losing a battle, and she was going to kill her boyfriend, Matthew Scott, in the process.
Suddenly, she felt another presence. Her body attempted to react as she felt threatened but all she was able to do was turn, red bouquet still in her hand, somehow unaffected by the strong heat - so, so red.
The last thing she could recall through her own eyes was turning away from Matthew's hopeful face, and meeting the regretful eyes of Dr. Rush before he pulled the trigger of the hand-gun against her temple. The warm pain in her stomach was suddenly gone - the supernova had been reverted. Her head bounced backwards, causing her body to sway and start to fall.
Feeling an out-of-body experience, she looked down as her limp body fell and the blood spread across the floor, mixing with the rose petals until they became unrecognizable. Scott stood to the side in shock, while Dr. Rush threw the gun to the side and grabbed her still form before she completely crashed.
"I'm sorry, Chloe," he whispered, and yet she heard it crystal clear - quite unlike Scott's distortion.
A tear fell from his cheek and mixed with the bloody roses.
When she awoke, she found that she was disappointed, somehow, that it wasn’t all over. Looking down at the coarse skin around her neck, she found that tears had been flowing from her eyes as she dreamt, as her chest, tank-top, and face were drenched in wet regret. Shakily wiping her eyes with her hands, she nodded to herself as she remembered the nightmare.
She knew what she had to do.
It was the only way to save them all.
--
The room that Chloe Armstrong was being kept in was plain and small. If someone were to ask her where she thought she would die, this room would be the last place she would even want to imagine, but life was funny like that. Her leg kept a steady bounce-pace, causing the object in her hand to clink uncomfortably - but uncomfortable didn't matter anymore.
In fact, nothing mattered, not anymore. Primal instinct and indifference seemed to be her only emotions at certain times, and she found it difficult to cry about her situation anymore; more so, she wanted it to be done. As she wondered what the others would think when she was found, she heard the clinking of the object against her leg again - then, she remembered the other individual in the room.
Don't look. Do. not. look. It will weaken you - you'll lose sight of what you started out to do, she told herself, feeling the control she had tried so hard to master over the past few months slowly slipping away. Pulling herself together, she carefully, so carefully, shifted her gaze to the left and saw what had been plaguing her thoughts, whether she was aware or not.
Lieutenant Matthew Scott lay on his stomach on the cold, dark floor. He was still breathing, but he was unconscious. Chloe had seen to that when he had walked in and shut the door for a personal visit; she was quiet about it and had known exactly what his weak points were. As her eyes looked over his still form, tears started to well up in her eyes for the unfortunate Lieutenant, and so she looked away - fluttering her eyes in an attempt to rid herself of the pain.
Her leg was bouncing again, the object ever so heavy in her small hands. Her entire body was shaking as what she was about to do weighed on her mind, and her palms had become so sweaty that she was having trouble keeping hold of the object. She thought about poor Matthew, and poor, poor Eli, and she felt a guilt that she was taking away someone they cared about so much, but it was the only option.
Looking down at her hands, finally, she saw the source of all of her anxiety and paranoia - a hand-gun, which she had concluded was her only choice, considering she hadn’t wanted to cause a stir throughout the ship - that was exactly why she was doing it like this, alone; quiet.
“You guys don’t have to be sad, you know, it’s not me, not me - Chloe’s not here anymore…I’m just a shell; a vessel,” although she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more at this point, seeing what she had been capable of physically concerned her deeply - to the point that she felt she had to react quickly in case it tried to consume her again.
--
Dr. Nicholas Rush was on the desert planet in which he had killed Simeon, who had originally killed Amanda Perry. His little Miss Brilliant - one of the finest people he had ever known. He was alone at the Stargate, without the aid of Scott and Greer - how he had wanted it, originally. He felt the hardness of the handgun in his hand, and he looked down to see specks of blood littering bits of his outfit.
The feeling of release he had been looking for never came - even after he had shot Simeon. He thought that it would fix things, but as he stood alone at the Gate, looking at the vast, almost red sky, he confirmed it within himself - he was still around, and she, well, she was simply dead. Nothing was going to change that, but he still couldn’t regret what he had done.
Suddenly, Lieutenant Matthew Scott was next to him, looking slightly wary as he had when they were originally on the planet.
“Eli turned the ship around?” Rush found himself repeating this again, he had engaged the Lieutenant in this particular conversation before, he knew.
“Actually…Chloe did. Guess all those equations paid off, huh?” Despite what Scott said, his voice held an edge, as if he was unhappy about Chloe being their rescuer. Despite the situation, Rush found himself smiling a little. She wasn’t exactly Little Miss Brilliant, but she was sure to be something special as time went on, he felt, no, he knew.
“…Good for her,” he turned to acknowledge Scott’s presence, but the young Lietenant wasn’t there anymore.
Confused, he took a few steps from the Stargate, and suddenly, his world melted into a shiny white room where red rose petals littered the floor in a romantic fashion. Squinting through the white, he saw Lieutenant Scott again, but far-off, in what oddly looked like a tuxedo. However, he was more interested in who was closer, as he could see a red flash coming from their body - consuming and warm, and it was expanding directly towards Matthew Scott.
Suddenly, he remembered the gun in his hand. Looking down at it, he squeezed it reassuringly to make sure that it was actually there in this strange world, and he felt the rough edges against his fingers. Satisfied, he took a deep breath and walked towards the quickly-expanding supernova.
Once he was close enough, he noticed that the young woman was in pure white wedding dress quite like the room, with a red bouquet of roses that matched the petals on the ground. Lieutenant Scott was attempting to talk to her, but Rush noticed that his words sounded distorted and strange, almost like he, himself, were underwater.
His insides felt cold despite the strong heat in the room, because he knew in his heart that there was only one person who could be doing this, only one person that would be here, only one more threat that he was going to have to be rid of - before she destroyed them all.
Chloe Armstrong seemed to know that he was behind her, as she managed to make herself turn quite gracefully given what was happening to her, although he could see the pain in her eyes for the split second that they met. She was so young, but he hadn’t the time to think about that - not with what she was about to do. Tears welled in his eyes lightly when he met her pretty, brown eyes, but nonetheless, he put the gun against her temple in that split-second and then with a simple bang, Chloe Armstrong was no more.
He didn’t have the heart to look at Lieutenant Scott, and he had a feeling that Scott was still caught in whatever distortion he was in inside of this world, because he didn’t make his way to them - he simply stood on what looked like the outside - looking in at the two of them, seemingly caught in a glass room.
Chloe’s head bounced backwards - it was instant, but it caused the heat in her stomach to subside, he noticed. As her body swayed limply and fell, he threw the gun disgustingly to the side, not ever wanting to touch it again. He caught her before she crashed to the floor - it was the least he could do. The sticky blood that spread across the floor mixed unrecognizably with the red roses, making him feel sick with the awareness of what he had done.
“I’m sorry, Chloe,” was all that he could say and, interestingly enough, he could hear his words as clear as crystal, much unlike Scott’s distortions earlier. A tear fell from his eye and mixed with her blood as he noticed an almost peaceful smile on her mouth, causing him to think he had done the right thing, matter how gruesome. Cradling her body, he continued to apologize, as he wasn’t sure what else he could possibly do by this point. The threat had been neutralized.
--
He awoke with a startling shock and couldn’t explain why, but Dr. Rush knew that he had to get to Chloe Armstrong’s room - he had a bad feeling after that nightmare, and he had to make sure she was alright. Glancing around the room quickly, he dressed himself and then grabbed a notepad and sloppily scribbled some equations as an excuse to visit her, in case anyone addressed it.
Opening his quarter’s door, he took off towards her isolation room with a brisk pace.
--
“…So sorry, Matthew…Eli…I just, I can’t let it hurt anyone n-not in this body…I…I…” She slowly raised the gun to her temple as her body convulsed slightly - fear, repulsion, disgust - she never thought it was going to end this way, never thought she’d have to take her own life. Closing her eyes, she thought of her father and her resolution crumbled for a moment, but she shook the doubts away.
“I can’t live our dream anymore, dad. They don’t last forever, you know? I wish this one did, but it’s turned into a n-nightmare, and I just…I want to take that last step,” nodding even as her body trembled all over, she clicked off the safety.
In a cruel twist of fate, the door to her quarter’s opened and she felt her convulsions pause in fear and possibly relief. Dr. Rush stood alone at the foot of her door, and she was quite thankful that Colonel Young hadn’t pushed a guard escort on him, or she might be in real trouble. His eyes swept across the room swiftly, and then he took an action that quite shocked Chloe - he shut the door to her quarters, despite the fact that she had a loaded gun to her forehead while Lieutenant Scott lay off to the side.
“You’re insane - I could kill you,” she wasn’t sure why she had said it, as she didn’t plan on killing him, but he shrugged it off, quite indifferently.
“I’m not the one with a gun aimed at my temple after apparently knocking out my tin-soldier, Miss Armstrong. I’m also quite sure that you would have killed me already if you were going to do so,” his voice was calm and steady, and she truly envied his control.
“What do you want?” Her voice was pained and distressed - how long was he going to stop her from embracing what she knew to be the right decision for everyone?
“For one, I’d like to talk without you having a gun pointed at your temple - you may keep ahold of it if it makes you more comfortable, but it’s a bit of a distraction at the moment,” he nodded towards her stance on the bed, and she narrowed her eyes slightly, but she slowly removed the gun from its place against her temple, knowing she could overpower him if necessary.
She almost let out a sob because of the thought of hurting another person, but she kept her control, and she put the gun against her leg again - but she was certain he noted that she didn’t put the safety back on.
Taking a risk, he took a few steps across the small room towards her bed, and she inhaled sharply at his actions. He raised his hands quickly to show that he meant no harm, and he sat himself at the far corner of the bed - allowing her to have space.
“Lieutenant Scott?” He asked calmly and still steadily, and she wondered momentarily if it was a farce - and if so, she couldn’t help but admire his poker face.
“He’s okay; I checked his pulse when I came back.”
“When you ‘came back’ - what do you mean by that?” Rush questioned with intense curiosity that he couldn’t help. Had she found a way to emotionally control the entity inside of herself without realizing it? If so, what did that mean for everyone aboard? He couldn’t help but analyze the situation mentally. He shifted his weight carefully on the bed as he thought; not wanting to voice his thoughts because it he had a feeling it would upset her already apparent imbalanced mental state.
“I knew he wouldn’t give me the gun any other way…knew if I did anything and kept him up, he might try to call Colonel Young, so I…” Her eyes swept over Lieutenant Scott’s body again, and she fluttered her eyes into the back of her head, unable to take the reminder of what she was, and is, capable of.
Dr. Rush took her momentary lapse of awareness to slide a bit closer to her - he wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do, yet; but it couldn’t be too drawn out, whatever the solution. He attempted not to cringe at how that sounded inwardly, and he reminded himself that he needed to keep his mask of indifference for her, now. He also knew that he needed to change the subject, because he could see her emotionally crumbling even more-so before his eyes.
“Chloe, why did you want Lieutenant Scott’s weapon?” His voice was hushed so that she didn’t take it as an accusation; and if she did, she didn’t act as such.
“I’m going to fix the problem,” he noticed with dismay that her voice went from hysterically emotional to a hoarse, dull whisper and in turn, her hand had tightened on her stolen weapon.
“I’d like to speak with you about something very personal to me, Chloe. Please, though - put the gun to the side. I promise that I won’t take it or make any sudden moves, nor will I tell anyone about anything that I have seen and heard here, so please…” He motioned to her side of the bed; so that she’d still feel that it was near, but she turned to him and shook her head no, her face a mix of emotions.
“I’m going to fix the p-problem,” her voice shook, because even then, she felt him moving closer. He rose and walked to her side of the bed, but she found herself unable to move from the shock of his actions. All of a sudden, he knelt down in front of her in a comforting sort of way - it reminded Chloe of when she had initially lost her father and he had tried to comfort her. A tear fell down her cheek at the thought of early beginnings; so much had changed since then, so much…
At least, there seemed to be a positive change about the entire situation: she noticed with curiosity that his eyes seemed different than they had been all those months ago when the situation with her father had occurred. He still had the look of a man who had seen too much - who held too much regret - and yet there was something else that she couldn’t place.
Chloe wondered if something had changed within him, or between them, but she couldn’t help but feel that after everything that had happened, it was both. Ironically, he seemed to have gained the sympathy that she had felt that he lacked initially, and she felt that she had gained the maturity that had always been absent in their previous conversations.
Dr. Rush then did something quite uncharacteristic - he reached his hand out and placed it gently on one of her knees, confirming her suspicions that something had changed, as she knew he never would have dared to do so when they had first met. He had been watching her face, and she finally lowered her eyes to meet his gaze - and he managed to surprise her again. His eyebrows were pinned together in thought, and his eyes themselves told a deep, painful tale. She wondered why he cared so much, but then he spoke; interrupting her thoughts.
“Have you ever watched a loved one die, Miss Armstrong? A disease of any sort, Cancer, perhaps?”
“N-no,” she shook her head cautiously, unsure of what sort of sad tale he was planning to share.
“I see,” he smiled a crooked smile, surprising her for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, but she found that her surprise quickly melted into a smile of her own - she never saw him smile, and despite the delicacy of the situation, she couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’m pleased that you haven’t had to go through such a thing, Chloe. Since you might not know, allow me to explain: Cancer can start out so small - so microscopic - much like your…pathogen, shall we say? Over time, Cancer spreads and causes changes to the mind and body; obviously some more painful than others, but it spreads nonetheless, much like your cellular transformation….” He trailed off for a moment, caught in what Chloe could best call a reverie of memories, but he snapped back to reality within moments and continued.
“The problem…is that the road to recovery, so to speak, or perhaps better worded - remission at best, is so difficult and dark, that some, such as yourself, embrace the ‘easier’ route, thinking that they’re saving themselves from the pain, and the loved ones from all of the grief,” he paused and put his free hand over his mouth for a moment, feeling some of his deeper emotions surface as he talked about such a painful remembrance, and she gave him a moment. It was the least she could do after everything he had offered her up until this point.
“My wife, my…first love, my…Gloria,” he took his free hand and put it against his chest without even thinking about it as he spoke her name so softly. “…She struggled so much…and it was difficult, yes…but…there’s…”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier if she had passed early on? You…watched her die,” Chloe felt guilty at the harshness of her words and for interrupting his emotional performance, but she didn’t understand what he was trying to say, and she wasn’t exactly feeling her most patient right now. She felt his grip on her knee tighten as he shook his head no, and then motioned to Lieutenant Scott.
“If Gloria had…died early on, I wouldn’t have had the chance to share all of the things with her about her final days that I did, and she…taught me so much, in that time. She was…brave - braver than I’ll ever be, and braver than Lieutenant Scott regardless of how many bullets he faces in one day; but you and her, you share something important…that you need to remember,” Chloe felt herself stiffen when Lieutenant Scott was brought up, and she felt the strong need to put the gun to her temple again.
“What’s that?” Her voice was hollow, she was slipping back into the harsh reality of it all - she had been so caught up in his story - oh, and how easy it was to forget.
“You both have people that you love - people that need you, whether you feel that you’re needed or not, they do.” Chloe felt herself bubble with anger that this is what he had been working towards - love. That was his spectacular argument?
“It’s selfish…it’s selfish of them to want me to stay…when I’m in so much pain…I don’t care if they love me or not,” she snapped at him as she finished up her thought and wondered why he was doing this to her. At her words, he took his hand from her knee and stood up, looking down upon her in a way that reminded her of when they first met - intimidation was always his key.
“You’re selfish, Chloe. Selfish to want to leave, after everything that’s happened to you and Lieutenant Scott, to Eli with Ginn…did you ever pause and wonder what sort of effect this would have on them - finding you that way? Using your boyfriend’s gun?”
“I…I…I didn’t mean it like-“she attempted to backtrack, but she could see the anger in his eyes now, she had obviously hit a nerve.
“If you didn’t care, you would have shot yourself the moment that I opened your quarter’s door - something held you back, something.”
“Please,” she whispered, closing her eyes from the overpowering stress he was causing her. “Just leave, okay?” She couldn’t look at him - she couldn’t stomach his disappointment and couldn’t face the fact that he was right; she wasn’t ready to die.
Oddly, she felt the weight of her bed change as he sunk into the spot next to her, and she couldn’t help but open an eye to see what he was doing. He chuckled at the way she looked, so she promptly opened both eyes and fought the urge to step on his foot.
“What are you doing, Nicholas?” It was the first time she had ever called him by name.
“I often ask myself the exact same question, Chloe. As of right now, I’m offering you my life,” he stated this so simply that she sat there for a moment, pondering what he could possibly mean by that.
“What I mean to say is that I can’t imagine completing a mission as important as Destiny’s when I can’t even convince a young woman that there’s more to live for, in what is possibly the worst stretch of her life; so what good am I, then?” His words held such genuine sincerity that it scared her to think he would go to such lengths to keep her alive. Shaking her head in disbelief, she quickly changed the subject.
“Why did you come here?”
“You’ll laugh, but it was a nightmare. I’ve learned to take my nightmares more seriously since arriving aboard this ship, and I felt the need to check on you. …In my thoughts, I must be concerned with your transformation and how the military is going to handle it and I’d rather us not arrive to that particular point, just yet.”
“…Did you dream about killing me?” He inhaled sharply and clenched his fists, confirming her suspicion from his words.
“You know, it’s already been decided that when we get to that point, Ronald is going to be the one that actually does it, not you,” it wasn’t much consolation, but she tried to offer him what she could.
“That doesn’t bloody matter!” He looked away from her, and Chloe was shocked again at his emotional performance. Taking a cue from his book, she hesitantly reached out and rested her free hand on his knee. She felt him stiffen as she had originally, but then he relaxed; sighing as he did so.
“Do you want to hear something strange?” When he nodded, she continued, “I had a dream about you last night, too. Matthew was there as well…um, I think the two of us were getting married…anyways, I started to lose control of myself and instead of Ronald pulling the trigger, it was…” When she trailed off, he looked at her, the color slightly removed from his face.
“Was it…a white room with red rose petals on the floor?” He questioned her with a nervous edge laced through his words - dreams were no laughing matter, on the Destiny.
“We shared the same dream,” she confirmed aloud, unsure of what was to be said next.
“The blue aliens…another school project, then?” She winced at his sarcastic remark about her condition, but she shook her head - somehow she knew it wasn’t them; it all seemed a bit deeper.
“Didn’t…Colonel Young recently have vivid dreams that ended up being simulations, just played out in different fashions? I think Scott mentioned that it helped him shape up…” she trailed off, realizing that she was used to hearing information second-hand, anymore.
“Are you suggesting that Destiny implanted a dream of your death in both of our heads? Colonel Young’s took different courses; different outlooks,” Rush shook his head, not sure if her theory would hold.
“Don’t you understand?” She asked honestly, a slight desperation to her voice as she began to put the pieces together, “We’re both…we’re both worried about what’s going to happen to me when…when the time comes, so it makes sense that we’d have the exact same dream, with the exact same outcome,” Chloe attempted to explain quickly, as she knew how skeptical Rush could be on faith alone, but they really had no idea just how much Destiny was capable of.
“If Destiny is causing these double dream-like simulations, then what exactly is it trying to tell us?” As she thought, his voice was a tad skeptical and impatient, so she continued with her explanation.
“I was…just about to pull the trigger before you walked in because of your dream - I was going to p-pull the trigger because of the dream…maybe…just maybe…Destiny wanted me to be at the edge because I was heading there anyway…and it knew that you would save me, just like you did when I was on the blue alien’s ship,” she spoke much more slowly now, and truly believed what she was saying as the words tumbled out, as crazy as it all sounded.
“If what you’re saying is true… and I have to believe that it is because it makes perfect sense, even if not logical…then I failed in saving you,” Rush motioned towards the gun still in her other hand, and Chloe shook her head as he did so. Astonishing him, she clicked the safety back on and set the gun to the side, her face hidden in her tangled hair for a moment. When she turned back to him, he saw her face was streaming with fresh tears.
“You were right, Nicholas. I have to embrace what…what little time I might have left, if not for me, than for them,” she nodded towards her unconscious boyfriend and thought of her best friend, Eli, his silly grin; his recent loss. “Despite how scared I am of what’s coming…I have to accept it, don’t I?” Eyebrows pinned together, Rush was unsure of what to say to her as his heart hurt at her words, despite how true he felt that they were.
“I’m…scared to disappear,” she whispered softly, and he was unable to stand it anymore; it was all too similar to the things his wife would say as she slowly slipped away. He softly grabbed her small form and pulled her into a hug in which he stroked her hair, unable to look her in the eye for fear that he might tip her off at how bad her situation really was.
“You aren’t going to disappear, because we’re going to work together to understand what’s happening. When we find out, we’ll go from there, but until then, I promise that I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he whispered into her ear sincerely, and he felt her shake with fresh sobs - but he was relieved at them, as they meant that she was feeling something, and that was important.
“Thank you, thank you,” Chloe sobbed still, her body and mind full of relief that someone said something besides ‘we’re gonna get through this’ without explaining exactly how. Despite her sobs, as she laid her head against Dr. Rush’s shoulder in relief, she felt a smile form on her lips and realized that she was at peace for the first time in a long while.
“We’ll understand...together,” he reassured her, stroking her hair still ever-so-softly until her sobs turned into hiccups.
--
The small isolation room suddenly distorted around them both, seemingly breaking apart into little pieces; an impossibility. Confused, Chloe went to pull back from their hug, but she was slammed backwards into darkness before she was able to do anything. Fear immediately overtook her as she looked around and saw stars and realized she was floating in space.
Opening her mouth, she attempted to scream.
--
“Miss Armstrong, would you please stay quiet? I did lie to our dear leader, the Colonel, about where I was taking you, for you, and your screams aren’t helping the situation,” Rush snapped at a dazed Chloe, who was sitting in the Neural Interface Chair and had just come out of a half-hour session.
“I-I’m sorry…” she gasped, feeling as though she had lost all of her oxygen when she had been flung backwards into space.
“Are you…alright?” Dr. Rush grabbed her by the shoulder without waiting for a response and gruffly helped her out of the chair.
“I…I’m fine…I mean, I’m not back completely…but I feel a little more in control, like I was hoping it would do…” Rush nodded at her words and looked slightly relieved as he helped her up. She stumbled on him slightly, and he grabbed her shoulder in support, but only for a moment before he let her go.
“Glad you’re alright, then,” he gestured to the closed door as a sign that it was time to go back to her room. Despite the oddness of the entire situation, she felt…okay. Emotionally for once, she still felt at peace as she had in her brain. As she remembered how to use her legs and walked towards him, she wondered if Destiny was saving her by telling her where her priorities should lay.
--
Sitting on the bed, her legs bouncing in anticipation; a different, happier anticipation than before. Not an anxious bounce, but an impatient demeanor. As soon as Chloe heard the steps outside of her quarter’s, she quickly adjusted the way that she was sitting to a more professional stance, although she reminded herself that this was Rush, and he probably wouldn’t notice if she had a shoe on her head.
“Miss Armstrong, I presume?” His voice, despite it not being as friendly as she had recalled during her time in the neural interface chair, brought a smile to her features.
“Don’t worry, it’s me,” she nodded at him as he swiftly closed the bulkhead door in response.
“How are you feeling, then?” He asked as he walked across the room in stride, placing himself down across from her, on her bed.
“I know where we have to go next,” she said this without hesitance, knowing that it would draw him in. It was the only way she could think of to explain to him what had happened - and she had a full arsenal of facts given to her in the chair at her disposal.
“How do you know about Destiny’s next destination?” His eyebrow was raised skeptically, but thankfully, he allowed her an explanation.
“I don’t…I was talking to you,” she took a slow, deep breath as she thought about the emotional impact that her story was going to cause on him, but it had to be done. She had to make him understand what had happened between them.
“I don’t understa-“
“Your wife’s name was Gloria.” she stated this loudly, causing him to stiffen immediately.
“…What of it?” His voice was hushed, his eyes were everywhere but focused on Chloe, and his body almost seemed to tremble with the pressure of it all.
“My wife, my…first love, my…Gloria.” she put her hand against her heart, the same way he had during their previous conversation, and continued, “…She struggled so much…and it was difficult, yes…but…there’s…”
“Enough.” Rush had risen from his spot on her bed, looking positively alarmed with glistening eyes, and the guilt that she had brought it upon him was heavy; but it was all necessary for him to believe.
“You told me the story while I was in the chair, Nicholas. I seemed to think that I was conscious, and I…wanted to…to die. I was going to…kill myself, but you, you saved me. Even if I was in the chair, I’m not sure what would have happened if I had pulled the trigger, in fact, I’m horrified to think what might have happened if I had pulled that trigger; and so, I…I needed you to know…that I…um, know about her.” She felt that she finished in a lame fashion, but his pained eyes hadn’t moved from their position on the wall, and her courage was diminishing quickly.
Dr. Rush took a shaky breath before allowing himself to sit back down on the bed, knowing that the girl was getting to something important. He nodded as he thought about how they had been the only two besides Franklin in the chair - a memory leak, or flash, was a surprise, albeit one he should have thought about.
“I appreciate your honestly, Chloe. I…I’m pleased I could be of some assistance,” he felt just as foolish with his words, knowing that he should have more to say about such a tale, but his brain was still in a bit of a shock.
“You…you promised me…” she continued, her face slightly pink as she did so, “that…that you’d help me understand what was…what is happening to me…” She gazed at him, longing in her eyes, as he was all she had been able to think about since she had been back in the real world.
“You have to understand that…I don’t…have these sets of memories, Chloe,” her face fell at his rejection, but he quickly grabbed her chin and brought her eyes back to his. “Despite that, I remind myself how real my time in the chair was, and it did indeed seem quite indistinguishable from reality, so on that end…” He trailed off, his eyes finally locked with hers.
“On that end…” Chloe waited with bated breath, her heart pounding through her chest.
“Do you mind if I save your life, again?” He smiled the same crooked smile that he had surprised her with in the chair, and she nodded the best she could against his hand cupping her chin.
She felt his fingers brush her chin lightly as if stroking a loved one, and she couldn’t help but push her lips softly against his. Though stiff at first, he returned her declaration softly; lightly. She pulled back after a moment, a tad sheepish.
“Um, sorry...that was kind of weird, wasn’t it?”
He pushed himself forward to place a small kiss against her forehead to show her that he was okay with her actions, and he felt her sigh against him.
“Do you think…” he stayed close after the kiss, and he felt her eyes boring into him as she spoke, “that maybe, you could stay here with me…a little while?”
“I suppose that in order to best understand what’s happening to you, it would be beneficial to spend as much time with you as possible,” he nodded with a small smile, and she laughed at his explanation; he always had to be the logical and rational one, despite that her brain was ever-evolving.
“You laugh so beautifully,” he added, a sudden rush of emotion boiling to the surface of his tongue as he watched her smile - something he hadn’t seen her do in a long while.
“You’re the reason I can,” she concluded their conversation by sliding into his lap, cuddling his chest contentedly, innocently. He stroked her hair softly, as he had before, and she sighed, realizing for once that maybe being the odd person out wasn’t so bad, after all.
--
“I still don’t understand why you have to watch it in here, man,” Eli was annoyed as he cleared the science team and other assorted personnel from the bridge of Destiny as Doctor Nicholas Rush moved towards the Captain’s chair and took his seat.
“Do you have it, Eli?” Rush found that his voice was normal-toned, despite the situation. He wondered if it was because he had nothing else to lose, but then he again, reminded himself of the mission and nodded to himself with a sigh. Even if he were the last person left aboard this ship, he would see to it that the mission be completed.
“…Yeah. You uh, sure…you want to be alone?” Rush shifted a cold glare at Eli as the younger man quickly gave Rush the equipment to play out the kino recording and backed out of the room, shutting the large bulkhead door behind him.
Rush sat, staring at the equipment, unable to think much of anything until he finally realized that he was on the clock as the science team wasn’t happy about having to evacuate the bridge for any sort of reason, given its importance. Running his fingers over the device that held the recording, he wondered if he should watch it, at all.
“I think you’ll find the contents quite interesting.” He flinched, as his wife, Gloria, came into view, and nodded at the kino.
“It doesn’t matter what she says, it just doesn’t. I failed!” he snapped at her, although the apparition’s smile still fell towards the kino.
“In the end, you couldn’t control what was going to happen to her, Nicholas. All you can do is hope that she serves a larger purpose now; which is why I think you should watch the recording,” his wife motioned towards the kino again, and Rush sighed, running his hand across his forehead in distress.
“Why am I always the one left, Gloria? You…Mandy…Chloe…is it ever going to end?” His eyes were closed in pain, now, his head pressed against the head-rest of the chair.
“Everyone’s journey ends at some point, Nicholas…even yours,” with those ominous words, his wife left him to his broken-hearted reverie. Opening his tortured eyes, he quickly hit the ‘play’ button before he could change his mind. Chloe’s image popped up on the kino-feed and Rush felt his chest tighten around his heart.
Hello, Nicholas. I’m sure that by this time, I’m not ‘here’ anymore. I’m also sure that this means that you’re blaming yourself and probably hating a lot of people on board right now - but don’t. Colonel Young, Sgt. Greer…everyone was doing the right thing. Before I can explain, I just…wanted to tell you something…something personal.
Do you remember the first night that you stayed with me? Lying with you, knowing that at least, for a little while, that I was safe…was the nicest thing anyone could have done for me. Thank you. I know…I know that Gloria was your first love…and I…I know how much Amanda meant to you, I do. That’s why…I never mentioned this, because I didn’t want you to feel obligated to return the feeling…and maybe I didn’t want to know if you did, or not, looking back…
I love you, Nicholas. You saved me from myself, and you gave a girl who was slowly slipping away one last chance to be happy…so, thank you. I love you.
He paused the kino-feed for a moment; his brows furrowed together, his feelings conflicted. Despite his confusing mental state, he knew one thing for certain as he looked at the pretty, young woman on the footage;
“I love you too, Chloe,” his voice broke and he shifted uncomfortably in the Captain’s Chair, unable to deal with the sudden rush of emotion anymore without her by his side. He quickly hit ‘play’ again, as to avoid deeper analysis of the situation.
Back to…everyone doing the right thing. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I have a feeling…a feeling that I’m meant for something more. I think…I want to think that after I die, I’ll still serve a…a larger purpose. I’ll be happy to fulfill that purpose so just…know that I’m okay…okay?
I know we’ll see each other again. I believe it. Goodbye for now, Nicholas Rush.
Her eyes glowed with fierce resolve, and Rush wished he could share her faith. He nodded at the footage as an affirmation, but he wasn’t sure if he would ever be at peace with her passing.
“’Serve a larger purpose,’ isn’t that what you said?” He directed the question to the empty room, and like clockwork, Gloria appeared.
“Death doesn’t necessarily mean an end to one’s journey, but more…the beginning of a new chapter, shared with the one you love, as it should have been in life but as it was, never got to be,” she chose her words carefully, Rush could tell, and he pondered on what she could mean by such puzzles.
“What do you mean? Chloe’s gone - dead. The alien transformation was too much, and the military killed her - end of story, end of line. There are no happy endings here, Gloria. Not in this life. Not in my life,” he stressed the end of his sentence, bitterness seeping into his words as he went on.
“If Chloe had killed herself that night, her potential wouldn’t have been completed, and she would have never gotten close with you or been able to realize what she was meant for. This is Destiny - everything happens for a reason, and every story has a conclusion,” Gloria still spoke in riddles, he felt, and was just about to say as much to her before she vanished before his eyes.
Slamming his little notebook down to the floor in exasperation, he leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes for the second time, that day. He attempted to focus on natural breathing, focused on how to pull forth his mask of indifference to the others, so that they would never know. It was a difficult task now though, even more so after seeing her kino-recording.
Standing up, he walked to Destiny’s railing and looked out at the beautiful hues of color bouncing off of the walls from the FTL travel. It truly was amazing, but he felt that something was missing…her.
“What am I supposed to do, now?” He voiced his answer aloud, but Gloria didn’t give her usual, snarky reply. He sighed, hanging his head in disappointment.
“That’s not the Nicholas I know.” His eyes widened as he heard a familiar, girlish voice to the left of his body. Daring to look, he saw Chloe Armstrong standing next to him, wearing her sweetest smile.
“…Chloe?” He reached out to touch her, and he felt her skin - it was warm. “How…?” he started to question, but she shook her head.
“This is what was happening to me…it wasn’t ever the aliens changing me, Nicholas. It was Destiny. I had to die by another hand to fulfill my purpose - suicide is a sin, you know? Guess Destiny thinks so, too.”
“Your purpose…what purpose?” He was relieved to hear that it wasn’t the aliens tampering with her body, but he also couldn’t help but wonder if he was slowly going insane.
“This,” she spread her arms out across the bridge and motioned out towards the hues in FTL travel with a smile on her face, “The mission…and you. You’re integral; important. So am I, with all of the knowledge I obtained during my transformation.” Chloe pulled a piece of chalk out of her pocket and tossed it to the side for Rush to catch, laughing as he almost dropped it in surprise.
“Destiny chose you to be at my side for this…all of what has happened to the two of us…the aliens, the nightmares, the almost-suicide, the neural interface chair…for this?”
“Destiny decided from the moment that we ‘connected’ on an emotional level through my father’s death that we would do this together. We’re going to be the founders; the discoverers of something incredibly important to the world out here as we know it, Nicholas,” she held out her hand without hesitance, her face beaming to the point that his guilt over her passing was subsiding, very slightly.
“The Adam and Eve of a new era - an end of us all that is indeed the beginning to a new world as we know it, the mission - we’re going to be that integral?”
“Will you go on this journey with me, Nicholas Rush?” Her hand was still held out, and she stood, patiently for a response. He slowly reached his hand out and took hers within his, stroking her skin softly.
“Let’s make Destiny,” he affirmed, looking from her to the full extent of the bridge - their new playground until the end.
--
Darkness scattered across the bridge as systems flickered in and out, a message of warning playing throughout the ship from Destiny, who had long ago found her voice while she helped her crew to the end. Many had died along the way, but so it had been written in her chapters long ago that she would have to say goodbye to many a crew as time passed; and so, she accepted it.
Destiny had been through a battle, and Dr. Nicholas Rush stood at the foot of the bridge, looking out at what appeared to be a white door, floating in space. Colonel Young, Eli, Lt. Scott other assorted survivors hadn’t been able to see it when they had dropped out of FTL due to finally arriving at the source of the background radiation.
There was a power supply that could be generated past the background noise, Eli had mentioned, that could possibly get them home. Tamara Johansen had a smile on her face once more, Eli had been talking about his mother non-stop, and even Varro, a Lucien Alliance member, seemed giddy. Rush had been informed that they were finally going to go home through his walkie, but he long ago shut it off, not wishing to be disturbed.
He felt a presence behind him and immediately knew it was that of Chloe, her arms wrapping slowly across his chest. Somehow, he knew that it was time to go - he wouldn’t be seeing Earth, not ever again.
“Are you ready for your destiny, Nicholas Rush?” Even as she asked, he could feel his body no longer serving any purpose…white was beginning to envelop them both, and he felt a sense of peace that he had only toyed with after Gloria’s passing, with Amanda and Chloe - and it felt exhilarating.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for as long as I can remember,” he whispered to her, watching in awe as the white danced around them both, blurring his vision. Destiny started to seem like a far-off dream as he floated to a void of vast emptiness with Chloe’s consciousness burning brightly next to him, and he realized they were going to ascend together.
“The background noise can also be used to power one’s own mental structure, giving you the knowledge that you’ve craved for ascension, and the knowledge to change - of course, the radiation killing the body, but the mind…” Despite their lack of bodies, he could hear her explaining still as they floated around the void.
“Why would anything need to be changed?”
“There aren’t any ascended beings this far out, as humans never evolved on this end of the universe. We truly are the first of our kind, and as the first, we need to share with them all of the knowledge and all of the ways of the world that we will come to understand for a new future - a new home, for mankind,” she explained in a pleased tone, her consciousness glow burning the dark void like a sun.
“I thought that you said that it was possible for the rest of the expedition team to dial Earth?”
“Not the Earth that they remember,” Chloe’s voice dropped sadly as she continued, “they’ll never see their loved ones again. We’ve reached the end point, and the stones cannot be used, but they’ll have the chance to use the knowledge that we give them, to start-over…”
“…With the ascended beings, us, taking part in its existence and the life of humanity, this time?”
As she nodded, they both suddenly floated to the white room that had been in Chloe’s nightmares - but the scene was now noticeably different. Chloe stood on the path to ascension, the beautiful, flowing wedding dress perfectly tucked to her features. Deep, purple flower petals littered the ground - the same color that the background radiation noise would take on their screens through the Destiny. She held a purple bouquet in her hands, as well. Dr. Nicholas Rush stood next to her, his suit proper in his own way, although it had a shaggy look to it; much different from Lieutenant Scott’s polished, glossy look.
As they looked out of what had seemed to be a glass room that only the two of them could enter before, they saw the remaining living Destiny crew members - including Lieutenant Scott, waving from afar.
“You mentioned once that Lieutenant Scott was distorted when you tried to speak to him, but I was crystal clear,” Rush began, turning to the breathtaking Chloe, “I think I finally understand why - they’re not coming with us because we’re already gone, aren’t we?” She nodded somewhat sadly as she watched the familiar faces of Lt. Scott, Adam Brody, Eli Wallace, Colonel Young, Tamara Johansen, Lisa Park, Varro, and others, simply faded back into the world of the living.
“Once, I gave Matthew my blood to keep him alive, and we were concerned I contaminated him, but it was really just the beginning of a chain of events leading us here - Matthew has my blood, and he’s apart of Destiny and connected to the two of us, because of it,” she explained although she hadn’t needed to, as their memories and thoughts began to combine the moment they had ascended.
“Human-kind will receive all of its knowledge through Matthew, who I’m sure will pass it on to Eli…who will want to teach the others…and…” Rush sighed, knowing how much hard-ship truly did lay ahead for all of them, but Chloe took his hand and squeezed, reassuringly.
“They’ll learn to manage without you, Nicholas. They’ll be okay.”
“It’s…been a long time coming, hasn’t it, Miss Armstrong?”
“Ever since I told my father a little idea about putting a math proof into a video game that me to Icarus, and led us here,” she smiled nostalgically at the memory of her father.
“You led us home,” he turned to her one last time in corporeal form, taking her cheek with his hand and stroking it softly before pressing his lips against hers, to which she embraced and returned the kiss, softness against softness before they both faded to a white bliss.
Content: Large fic, five picspams, and some wallpapers and banners.
As I use a widescreen, my picspams are generally quite large & wide, so I'm thumbnailed them for you as to not kill the width of your pages;
Pathogen Picspams
one;
two;
three;
four;
five!
every princess needs her prince - banner 01
banner 01 - no text
pathogen banner
destiny banner
crush tears of an angel banner
chloecentric wallpaper
crushcentric death wallpaper with text
crushcentric death wallpaper no text
chloecentric death wallpaper
chloecentric death wallpaper, alternate manip
Story: Destiny's End
Pairing: Rush/Chloe, mostly Chloe-centric although Rush gets his POV in, as well. Scott later plays an important role.
Word Count: 9,190
Genre: Angst, Romance, Faith
Rating: NC-17 for dealings with suicide, religious concepts (ie. Christianity) , character-death and health-concepts (ie. cancer)
Summary: Chloe Armstrong & Nicholas Rush were meant to be together from the beginning. A chain of events linking them together comes to pass, and Destiny will indeed play out until the end of the mission. Please, keep in mind the rating & reasoning. You have been warned.
Shades of white enveloped Chloe as she stood, feet firmly onto the floor. She squinted through the light, trying to make sense of any sort of where she was, and how she had gotten there. She couldn't remember where she had been last; she could only remember this moment, this one moment. For some reason, her heart was pounding.
As if in a blink of an eye, red flower petals littered the shiny white floor around her, despite her having not taken a step. She took a breath, and a red rose bouquet was in her hands, a flowing white dress suddenly enveloped her form, and it became even harder to breathe. Her heart pounded harder - something was wrong, she didn't want this, so what was happening?
A little ways away where she couldn't see, a young man adjusted the tie on his tuxedo, carefully, oh - so carefully. He had to be exactly right, for he was meeting with someone special, someone perfect. Pleased, soft lips form a smile as they move towards the goal - towards perfection laced in a soft, white dress. She enjoyed roses, he knew.
Chloe was moving now, and she felt another presence. Her body immediately stiffened, as she hadn't figured out her situation yet, and wasn't sure if he wanted company. Looking down in distress, she found her feet moving forward without her consent.
He was walking towards her now, his tie lined up gracefully to his suit - everything so precise, so intellectual. It was all so perfect, as if numbers lined up behind each color and movement, like a computer game - but so much more real. His heart soared as the rose petals on the ground came into view, as did she oh, such grace.
Chloe's heart sank as Lieutenant Matthew Scott came into view, his eyes gleaming brightly with happiness, his suit so prim and proper that it almost seemed glossy; fake.
"Chloe," his voice came out distorted, almost as if she was underwater and was hearing everything in slow motion, yet there he stood directly in front of her.
Her brain was screaming, telling him to run, far, far away. She could feel herself begin to slip into a warm darkness on the inside, and it was beginning to grow. Her lips were moving, but bubbles came out when she attempted to scream his name, reminding her of when she was in the blue alien’s captivity, in one of their creepy tanks.
"You're so beautiful in red," distorted words reached her again, but there was nothing she could do.
Warmth continued to envelop her, and she looked down at her stomach, confused by the strong feeling. She couldn't gasp, under the weight of the invisible water against her mouth, but only look in horror as what looked like a small supernova grew was starting to grow outward, and it was pulsing.
What bothered her most was Scott's reaction - he looked down and smiled, shaking his head back and forth like he usually did and reached his hand out to her, but she didn't reciprocate.
"We're gonna fix this," he promised, the naive hope still written all over his face, even as she was slowing exploding inside-to-out. Her body was literally ripping her apart, she felt.
A hot pain was starting to gnaw at her, but she couldn't make it stop - she couldn't make any of it stop, no matter what she willed. She was slowly losing a battle, and she was going to kill her boyfriend, Matthew Scott, in the process.
Suddenly, she felt another presence. Her body attempted to react as she felt threatened but all she was able to do was turn, red bouquet still in her hand, somehow unaffected by the strong heat - so, so red.
The last thing she could recall through her own eyes was turning away from Matthew's hopeful face, and meeting the regretful eyes of Dr. Rush before he pulled the trigger of the hand-gun against her temple. The warm pain in her stomach was suddenly gone - the supernova had been reverted. Her head bounced backwards, causing her body to sway and start to fall.
Feeling an out-of-body experience, she looked down as her limp body fell and the blood spread across the floor, mixing with the rose petals until they became unrecognizable. Scott stood to the side in shock, while Dr. Rush threw the gun to the side and grabbed her still form before she completely crashed.
"I'm sorry, Chloe," he whispered, and yet she heard it crystal clear - quite unlike Scott's distortion.
A tear fell from his cheek and mixed with the bloody roses.
When she awoke, she found that she was disappointed, somehow, that it wasn’t all over. Looking down at the coarse skin around her neck, she found that tears had been flowing from her eyes as she dreamt, as her chest, tank-top, and face were drenched in wet regret. Shakily wiping her eyes with her hands, she nodded to herself as she remembered the nightmare.
She knew what she had to do.
It was the only way to save them all.
--
The room that Chloe Armstrong was being kept in was plain and small. If someone were to ask her where she thought she would die, this room would be the last place she would even want to imagine, but life was funny like that. Her leg kept a steady bounce-pace, causing the object in her hand to clink uncomfortably - but uncomfortable didn't matter anymore.
In fact, nothing mattered, not anymore. Primal instinct and indifference seemed to be her only emotions at certain times, and she found it difficult to cry about her situation anymore; more so, she wanted it to be done. As she wondered what the others would think when she was found, she heard the clinking of the object against her leg again - then, she remembered the other individual in the room.
Don't look. Do. not. look. It will weaken you - you'll lose sight of what you started out to do, she told herself, feeling the control she had tried so hard to master over the past few months slowly slipping away. Pulling herself together, she carefully, so carefully, shifted her gaze to the left and saw what had been plaguing her thoughts, whether she was aware or not.
Lieutenant Matthew Scott lay on his stomach on the cold, dark floor. He was still breathing, but he was unconscious. Chloe had seen to that when he had walked in and shut the door for a personal visit; she was quiet about it and had known exactly what his weak points were. As her eyes looked over his still form, tears started to well up in her eyes for the unfortunate Lieutenant, and so she looked away - fluttering her eyes in an attempt to rid herself of the pain.
Her leg was bouncing again, the object ever so heavy in her small hands. Her entire body was shaking as what she was about to do weighed on her mind, and her palms had become so sweaty that she was having trouble keeping hold of the object. She thought about poor Matthew, and poor, poor Eli, and she felt a guilt that she was taking away someone they cared about so much, but it was the only option.
Looking down at her hands, finally, she saw the source of all of her anxiety and paranoia - a hand-gun, which she had concluded was her only choice, considering she hadn’t wanted to cause a stir throughout the ship - that was exactly why she was doing it like this, alone; quiet.
“You guys don’t have to be sad, you know, it’s not me, not me - Chloe’s not here anymore…I’m just a shell; a vessel,” although she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more at this point, seeing what she had been capable of physically concerned her deeply - to the point that she felt she had to react quickly in case it tried to consume her again.
--
Dr. Nicholas Rush was on the desert planet in which he had killed Simeon, who had originally killed Amanda Perry. His little Miss Brilliant - one of the finest people he had ever known. He was alone at the Stargate, without the aid of Scott and Greer - how he had wanted it, originally. He felt the hardness of the handgun in his hand, and he looked down to see specks of blood littering bits of his outfit.
The feeling of release he had been looking for never came - even after he had shot Simeon. He thought that it would fix things, but as he stood alone at the Gate, looking at the vast, almost red sky, he confirmed it within himself - he was still around, and she, well, she was simply dead. Nothing was going to change that, but he still couldn’t regret what he had done.
Suddenly, Lieutenant Matthew Scott was next to him, looking slightly wary as he had when they were originally on the planet.
“Eli turned the ship around?” Rush found himself repeating this again, he had engaged the Lieutenant in this particular conversation before, he knew.
“Actually…Chloe did. Guess all those equations paid off, huh?” Despite what Scott said, his voice held an edge, as if he was unhappy about Chloe being their rescuer. Despite the situation, Rush found himself smiling a little. She wasn’t exactly Little Miss Brilliant, but she was sure to be something special as time went on, he felt, no, he knew.
“…Good for her,” he turned to acknowledge Scott’s presence, but the young Lietenant wasn’t there anymore.
Confused, he took a few steps from the Stargate, and suddenly, his world melted into a shiny white room where red rose petals littered the floor in a romantic fashion. Squinting through the white, he saw Lieutenant Scott again, but far-off, in what oddly looked like a tuxedo. However, he was more interested in who was closer, as he could see a red flash coming from their body - consuming and warm, and it was expanding directly towards Matthew Scott.
Suddenly, he remembered the gun in his hand. Looking down at it, he squeezed it reassuringly to make sure that it was actually there in this strange world, and he felt the rough edges against his fingers. Satisfied, he took a deep breath and walked towards the quickly-expanding supernova.
Once he was close enough, he noticed that the young woman was in pure white wedding dress quite like the room, with a red bouquet of roses that matched the petals on the ground. Lieutenant Scott was attempting to talk to her, but Rush noticed that his words sounded distorted and strange, almost like he, himself, were underwater.
His insides felt cold despite the strong heat in the room, because he knew in his heart that there was only one person who could be doing this, only one person that would be here, only one more threat that he was going to have to be rid of - before she destroyed them all.
Chloe Armstrong seemed to know that he was behind her, as she managed to make herself turn quite gracefully given what was happening to her, although he could see the pain in her eyes for the split second that they met. She was so young, but he hadn’t the time to think about that - not with what she was about to do. Tears welled in his eyes lightly when he met her pretty, brown eyes, but nonetheless, he put the gun against her temple in that split-second and then with a simple bang, Chloe Armstrong was no more.
He didn’t have the heart to look at Lieutenant Scott, and he had a feeling that Scott was still caught in whatever distortion he was in inside of this world, because he didn’t make his way to them - he simply stood on what looked like the outside - looking in at the two of them, seemingly caught in a glass room.
Chloe’s head bounced backwards - it was instant, but it caused the heat in her stomach to subside, he noticed. As her body swayed limply and fell, he threw the gun disgustingly to the side, not ever wanting to touch it again. He caught her before she crashed to the floor - it was the least he could do. The sticky blood that spread across the floor mixed unrecognizably with the red roses, making him feel sick with the awareness of what he had done.
“I’m sorry, Chloe,” was all that he could say and, interestingly enough, he could hear his words as clear as crystal, much unlike Scott’s distortions earlier. A tear fell from his eye and mixed with her blood as he noticed an almost peaceful smile on her mouth, causing him to think he had done the right thing, matter how gruesome. Cradling her body, he continued to apologize, as he wasn’t sure what else he could possibly do by this point. The threat had been neutralized.
--
He awoke with a startling shock and couldn’t explain why, but Dr. Rush knew that he had to get to Chloe Armstrong’s room - he had a bad feeling after that nightmare, and he had to make sure she was alright. Glancing around the room quickly, he dressed himself and then grabbed a notepad and sloppily scribbled some equations as an excuse to visit her, in case anyone addressed it.
Opening his quarter’s door, he took off towards her isolation room with a brisk pace.
--
“…So sorry, Matthew…Eli…I just, I can’t let it hurt anyone n-not in this body…I…I…” She slowly raised the gun to her temple as her body convulsed slightly - fear, repulsion, disgust - she never thought it was going to end this way, never thought she’d have to take her own life. Closing her eyes, she thought of her father and her resolution crumbled for a moment, but she shook the doubts away.
“I can’t live our dream anymore, dad. They don’t last forever, you know? I wish this one did, but it’s turned into a n-nightmare, and I just…I want to take that last step,” nodding even as her body trembled all over, she clicked off the safety.
In a cruel twist of fate, the door to her quarter’s opened and she felt her convulsions pause in fear and possibly relief. Dr. Rush stood alone at the foot of her door, and she was quite thankful that Colonel Young hadn’t pushed a guard escort on him, or she might be in real trouble. His eyes swept across the room swiftly, and then he took an action that quite shocked Chloe - he shut the door to her quarters, despite the fact that she had a loaded gun to her forehead while Lieutenant Scott lay off to the side.
“You’re insane - I could kill you,” she wasn’t sure why she had said it, as she didn’t plan on killing him, but he shrugged it off, quite indifferently.
“I’m not the one with a gun aimed at my temple after apparently knocking out my tin-soldier, Miss Armstrong. I’m also quite sure that you would have killed me already if you were going to do so,” his voice was calm and steady, and she truly envied his control.
“What do you want?” Her voice was pained and distressed - how long was he going to stop her from embracing what she knew to be the right decision for everyone?
“For one, I’d like to talk without you having a gun pointed at your temple - you may keep ahold of it if it makes you more comfortable, but it’s a bit of a distraction at the moment,” he nodded towards her stance on the bed, and she narrowed her eyes slightly, but she slowly removed the gun from its place against her temple, knowing she could overpower him if necessary.
She almost let out a sob because of the thought of hurting another person, but she kept her control, and she put the gun against her leg again - but she was certain he noted that she didn’t put the safety back on.
Taking a risk, he took a few steps across the small room towards her bed, and she inhaled sharply at his actions. He raised his hands quickly to show that he meant no harm, and he sat himself at the far corner of the bed - allowing her to have space.
“Lieutenant Scott?” He asked calmly and still steadily, and she wondered momentarily if it was a farce - and if so, she couldn’t help but admire his poker face.
“He’s okay; I checked his pulse when I came back.”
“When you ‘came back’ - what do you mean by that?” Rush questioned with intense curiosity that he couldn’t help. Had she found a way to emotionally control the entity inside of herself without realizing it? If so, what did that mean for everyone aboard? He couldn’t help but analyze the situation mentally. He shifted his weight carefully on the bed as he thought; not wanting to voice his thoughts because it he had a feeling it would upset her already apparent imbalanced mental state.
“I knew he wouldn’t give me the gun any other way…knew if I did anything and kept him up, he might try to call Colonel Young, so I…” Her eyes swept over Lieutenant Scott’s body again, and she fluttered her eyes into the back of her head, unable to take the reminder of what she was, and is, capable of.
Dr. Rush took her momentary lapse of awareness to slide a bit closer to her - he wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do, yet; but it couldn’t be too drawn out, whatever the solution. He attempted not to cringe at how that sounded inwardly, and he reminded himself that he needed to keep his mask of indifference for her, now. He also knew that he needed to change the subject, because he could see her emotionally crumbling even more-so before his eyes.
“Chloe, why did you want Lieutenant Scott’s weapon?” His voice was hushed so that she didn’t take it as an accusation; and if she did, she didn’t act as such.
“I’m going to fix the problem,” he noticed with dismay that her voice went from hysterically emotional to a hoarse, dull whisper and in turn, her hand had tightened on her stolen weapon.
“I’d like to speak with you about something very personal to me, Chloe. Please, though - put the gun to the side. I promise that I won’t take it or make any sudden moves, nor will I tell anyone about anything that I have seen and heard here, so please…” He motioned to her side of the bed; so that she’d still feel that it was near, but she turned to him and shook her head no, her face a mix of emotions.
“I’m going to fix the p-problem,” her voice shook, because even then, she felt him moving closer. He rose and walked to her side of the bed, but she found herself unable to move from the shock of his actions. All of a sudden, he knelt down in front of her in a comforting sort of way - it reminded Chloe of when she had initially lost her father and he had tried to comfort her. A tear fell down her cheek at the thought of early beginnings; so much had changed since then, so much…
At least, there seemed to be a positive change about the entire situation: she noticed with curiosity that his eyes seemed different than they had been all those months ago when the situation with her father had occurred. He still had the look of a man who had seen too much - who held too much regret - and yet there was something else that she couldn’t place.
Chloe wondered if something had changed within him, or between them, but she couldn’t help but feel that after everything that had happened, it was both. Ironically, he seemed to have gained the sympathy that she had felt that he lacked initially, and she felt that she had gained the maturity that had always been absent in their previous conversations.
Dr. Rush then did something quite uncharacteristic - he reached his hand out and placed it gently on one of her knees, confirming her suspicions that something had changed, as she knew he never would have dared to do so when they had first met. He had been watching her face, and she finally lowered her eyes to meet his gaze - and he managed to surprise her again. His eyebrows were pinned together in thought, and his eyes themselves told a deep, painful tale. She wondered why he cared so much, but then he spoke; interrupting her thoughts.
“Have you ever watched a loved one die, Miss Armstrong? A disease of any sort, Cancer, perhaps?”
“N-no,” she shook her head cautiously, unsure of what sort of sad tale he was planning to share.
“I see,” he smiled a crooked smile, surprising her for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, but she found that her surprise quickly melted into a smile of her own - she never saw him smile, and despite the delicacy of the situation, she couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’m pleased that you haven’t had to go through such a thing, Chloe. Since you might not know, allow me to explain: Cancer can start out so small - so microscopic - much like your…pathogen, shall we say? Over time, Cancer spreads and causes changes to the mind and body; obviously some more painful than others, but it spreads nonetheless, much like your cellular transformation….” He trailed off for a moment, caught in what Chloe could best call a reverie of memories, but he snapped back to reality within moments and continued.
“The problem…is that the road to recovery, so to speak, or perhaps better worded - remission at best, is so difficult and dark, that some, such as yourself, embrace the ‘easier’ route, thinking that they’re saving themselves from the pain, and the loved ones from all of the grief,” he paused and put his free hand over his mouth for a moment, feeling some of his deeper emotions surface as he talked about such a painful remembrance, and she gave him a moment. It was the least she could do after everything he had offered her up until this point.
“My wife, my…first love, my…Gloria,” he took his free hand and put it against his chest without even thinking about it as he spoke her name so softly. “…She struggled so much…and it was difficult, yes…but…there’s…”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier if she had passed early on? You…watched her die,” Chloe felt guilty at the harshness of her words and for interrupting his emotional performance, but she didn’t understand what he was trying to say, and she wasn’t exactly feeling her most patient right now. She felt his grip on her knee tighten as he shook his head no, and then motioned to Lieutenant Scott.
“If Gloria had…died early on, I wouldn’t have had the chance to share all of the things with her about her final days that I did, and she…taught me so much, in that time. She was…brave - braver than I’ll ever be, and braver than Lieutenant Scott regardless of how many bullets he faces in one day; but you and her, you share something important…that you need to remember,” Chloe felt herself stiffen when Lieutenant Scott was brought up, and she felt the strong need to put the gun to her temple again.
“What’s that?” Her voice was hollow, she was slipping back into the harsh reality of it all - she had been so caught up in his story - oh, and how easy it was to forget.
“You both have people that you love - people that need you, whether you feel that you’re needed or not, they do.” Chloe felt herself bubble with anger that this is what he had been working towards - love. That was his spectacular argument?
“It’s selfish…it’s selfish of them to want me to stay…when I’m in so much pain…I don’t care if they love me or not,” she snapped at him as she finished up her thought and wondered why he was doing this to her. At her words, he took his hand from her knee and stood up, looking down upon her in a way that reminded her of when they first met - intimidation was always his key.
“You’re selfish, Chloe. Selfish to want to leave, after everything that’s happened to you and Lieutenant Scott, to Eli with Ginn…did you ever pause and wonder what sort of effect this would have on them - finding you that way? Using your boyfriend’s gun?”
“I…I…I didn’t mean it like-“she attempted to backtrack, but she could see the anger in his eyes now, she had obviously hit a nerve.
“If you didn’t care, you would have shot yourself the moment that I opened your quarter’s door - something held you back, something.”
“Please,” she whispered, closing her eyes from the overpowering stress he was causing her. “Just leave, okay?” She couldn’t look at him - she couldn’t stomach his disappointment and couldn’t face the fact that he was right; she wasn’t ready to die.
Oddly, she felt the weight of her bed change as he sunk into the spot next to her, and she couldn’t help but open an eye to see what he was doing. He chuckled at the way she looked, so she promptly opened both eyes and fought the urge to step on his foot.
“What are you doing, Nicholas?” It was the first time she had ever called him by name.
“I often ask myself the exact same question, Chloe. As of right now, I’m offering you my life,” he stated this so simply that she sat there for a moment, pondering what he could possibly mean by that.
“What I mean to say is that I can’t imagine completing a mission as important as Destiny’s when I can’t even convince a young woman that there’s more to live for, in what is possibly the worst stretch of her life; so what good am I, then?” His words held such genuine sincerity that it scared her to think he would go to such lengths to keep her alive. Shaking her head in disbelief, she quickly changed the subject.
“Why did you come here?”
“You’ll laugh, but it was a nightmare. I’ve learned to take my nightmares more seriously since arriving aboard this ship, and I felt the need to check on you. …In my thoughts, I must be concerned with your transformation and how the military is going to handle it and I’d rather us not arrive to that particular point, just yet.”
“…Did you dream about killing me?” He inhaled sharply and clenched his fists, confirming her suspicion from his words.
“You know, it’s already been decided that when we get to that point, Ronald is going to be the one that actually does it, not you,” it wasn’t much consolation, but she tried to offer him what she could.
“That doesn’t bloody matter!” He looked away from her, and Chloe was shocked again at his emotional performance. Taking a cue from his book, she hesitantly reached out and rested her free hand on his knee. She felt him stiffen as she had originally, but then he relaxed; sighing as he did so.
“Do you want to hear something strange?” When he nodded, she continued, “I had a dream about you last night, too. Matthew was there as well…um, I think the two of us were getting married…anyways, I started to lose control of myself and instead of Ronald pulling the trigger, it was…” When she trailed off, he looked at her, the color slightly removed from his face.
“Was it…a white room with red rose petals on the floor?” He questioned her with a nervous edge laced through his words - dreams were no laughing matter, on the Destiny.
“We shared the same dream,” she confirmed aloud, unsure of what was to be said next.
“The blue aliens…another school project, then?” She winced at his sarcastic remark about her condition, but she shook her head - somehow she knew it wasn’t them; it all seemed a bit deeper.
“Didn’t…Colonel Young recently have vivid dreams that ended up being simulations, just played out in different fashions? I think Scott mentioned that it helped him shape up…” she trailed off, realizing that she was used to hearing information second-hand, anymore.
“Are you suggesting that Destiny implanted a dream of your death in both of our heads? Colonel Young’s took different courses; different outlooks,” Rush shook his head, not sure if her theory would hold.
“Don’t you understand?” She asked honestly, a slight desperation to her voice as she began to put the pieces together, “We’re both…we’re both worried about what’s going to happen to me when…when the time comes, so it makes sense that we’d have the exact same dream, with the exact same outcome,” Chloe attempted to explain quickly, as she knew how skeptical Rush could be on faith alone, but they really had no idea just how much Destiny was capable of.
“If Destiny is causing these double dream-like simulations, then what exactly is it trying to tell us?” As she thought, his voice was a tad skeptical and impatient, so she continued with her explanation.
“I was…just about to pull the trigger before you walked in because of your dream - I was going to p-pull the trigger because of the dream…maybe…just maybe…Destiny wanted me to be at the edge because I was heading there anyway…and it knew that you would save me, just like you did when I was on the blue alien’s ship,” she spoke much more slowly now, and truly believed what she was saying as the words tumbled out, as crazy as it all sounded.
“If what you’re saying is true… and I have to believe that it is because it makes perfect sense, even if not logical…then I failed in saving you,” Rush motioned towards the gun still in her other hand, and Chloe shook her head as he did so. Astonishing him, she clicked the safety back on and set the gun to the side, her face hidden in her tangled hair for a moment. When she turned back to him, he saw her face was streaming with fresh tears.
“You were right, Nicholas. I have to embrace what…what little time I might have left, if not for me, than for them,” she nodded towards her unconscious boyfriend and thought of her best friend, Eli, his silly grin; his recent loss. “Despite how scared I am of what’s coming…I have to accept it, don’t I?” Eyebrows pinned together, Rush was unsure of what to say to her as his heart hurt at her words, despite how true he felt that they were.
“I’m…scared to disappear,” she whispered softly, and he was unable to stand it anymore; it was all too similar to the things his wife would say as she slowly slipped away. He softly grabbed her small form and pulled her into a hug in which he stroked her hair, unable to look her in the eye for fear that he might tip her off at how bad her situation really was.
“You aren’t going to disappear, because we’re going to work together to understand what’s happening. When we find out, we’ll go from there, but until then, I promise that I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he whispered into her ear sincerely, and he felt her shake with fresh sobs - but he was relieved at them, as they meant that she was feeling something, and that was important.
“Thank you, thank you,” Chloe sobbed still, her body and mind full of relief that someone said something besides ‘we’re gonna get through this’ without explaining exactly how. Despite her sobs, as she laid her head against Dr. Rush’s shoulder in relief, she felt a smile form on her lips and realized that she was at peace for the first time in a long while.
“We’ll understand...together,” he reassured her, stroking her hair still ever-so-softly until her sobs turned into hiccups.
--
The small isolation room suddenly distorted around them both, seemingly breaking apart into little pieces; an impossibility. Confused, Chloe went to pull back from their hug, but she was slammed backwards into darkness before she was able to do anything. Fear immediately overtook her as she looked around and saw stars and realized she was floating in space.
Opening her mouth, she attempted to scream.
--
“Miss Armstrong, would you please stay quiet? I did lie to our dear leader, the Colonel, about where I was taking you, for you, and your screams aren’t helping the situation,” Rush snapped at a dazed Chloe, who was sitting in the Neural Interface Chair and had just come out of a half-hour session.
“I-I’m sorry…” she gasped, feeling as though she had lost all of her oxygen when she had been flung backwards into space.
“Are you…alright?” Dr. Rush grabbed her by the shoulder without waiting for a response and gruffly helped her out of the chair.
“I…I’m fine…I mean, I’m not back completely…but I feel a little more in control, like I was hoping it would do…” Rush nodded at her words and looked slightly relieved as he helped her up. She stumbled on him slightly, and he grabbed her shoulder in support, but only for a moment before he let her go.
“Glad you’re alright, then,” he gestured to the closed door as a sign that it was time to go back to her room. Despite the oddness of the entire situation, she felt…okay. Emotionally for once, she still felt at peace as she had in her brain. As she remembered how to use her legs and walked towards him, she wondered if Destiny was saving her by telling her where her priorities should lay.
--
Sitting on the bed, her legs bouncing in anticipation; a different, happier anticipation than before. Not an anxious bounce, but an impatient demeanor. As soon as Chloe heard the steps outside of her quarter’s, she quickly adjusted the way that she was sitting to a more professional stance, although she reminded herself that this was Rush, and he probably wouldn’t notice if she had a shoe on her head.
“Miss Armstrong, I presume?” His voice, despite it not being as friendly as she had recalled during her time in the neural interface chair, brought a smile to her features.
“Don’t worry, it’s me,” she nodded at him as he swiftly closed the bulkhead door in response.
“How are you feeling, then?” He asked as he walked across the room in stride, placing himself down across from her, on her bed.
“I know where we have to go next,” she said this without hesitance, knowing that it would draw him in. It was the only way she could think of to explain to him what had happened - and she had a full arsenal of facts given to her in the chair at her disposal.
“How do you know about Destiny’s next destination?” His eyebrow was raised skeptically, but thankfully, he allowed her an explanation.
“I don’t…I was talking to you,” she took a slow, deep breath as she thought about the emotional impact that her story was going to cause on him, but it had to be done. She had to make him understand what had happened between them.
“I don’t understa-“
“Your wife’s name was Gloria.” she stated this loudly, causing him to stiffen immediately.
“…What of it?” His voice was hushed, his eyes were everywhere but focused on Chloe, and his body almost seemed to tremble with the pressure of it all.
“My wife, my…first love, my…Gloria.” she put her hand against her heart, the same way he had during their previous conversation, and continued, “…She struggled so much…and it was difficult, yes…but…there’s…”
“Enough.” Rush had risen from his spot on her bed, looking positively alarmed with glistening eyes, and the guilt that she had brought it upon him was heavy; but it was all necessary for him to believe.
“You told me the story while I was in the chair, Nicholas. I seemed to think that I was conscious, and I…wanted to…to die. I was going to…kill myself, but you, you saved me. Even if I was in the chair, I’m not sure what would have happened if I had pulled the trigger, in fact, I’m horrified to think what might have happened if I had pulled that trigger; and so, I…I needed you to know…that I…um, know about her.” She felt that she finished in a lame fashion, but his pained eyes hadn’t moved from their position on the wall, and her courage was diminishing quickly.
Dr. Rush took a shaky breath before allowing himself to sit back down on the bed, knowing that the girl was getting to something important. He nodded as he thought about how they had been the only two besides Franklin in the chair - a memory leak, or flash, was a surprise, albeit one he should have thought about.
“I appreciate your honestly, Chloe. I…I’m pleased I could be of some assistance,” he felt just as foolish with his words, knowing that he should have more to say about such a tale, but his brain was still in a bit of a shock.
“You…you promised me…” she continued, her face slightly pink as she did so, “that…that you’d help me understand what was…what is happening to me…” She gazed at him, longing in her eyes, as he was all she had been able to think about since she had been back in the real world.
“You have to understand that…I don’t…have these sets of memories, Chloe,” her face fell at his rejection, but he quickly grabbed her chin and brought her eyes back to his. “Despite that, I remind myself how real my time in the chair was, and it did indeed seem quite indistinguishable from reality, so on that end…” He trailed off, his eyes finally locked with hers.
“On that end…” Chloe waited with bated breath, her heart pounding through her chest.
“Do you mind if I save your life, again?” He smiled the same crooked smile that he had surprised her with in the chair, and she nodded the best she could against his hand cupping her chin.
She felt his fingers brush her chin lightly as if stroking a loved one, and she couldn’t help but push her lips softly against his. Though stiff at first, he returned her declaration softly; lightly. She pulled back after a moment, a tad sheepish.
“Um, sorry...that was kind of weird, wasn’t it?”
He pushed himself forward to place a small kiss against her forehead to show her that he was okay with her actions, and he felt her sigh against him.
“Do you think…” he stayed close after the kiss, and he felt her eyes boring into him as she spoke, “that maybe, you could stay here with me…a little while?”
“I suppose that in order to best understand what’s happening to you, it would be beneficial to spend as much time with you as possible,” he nodded with a small smile, and she laughed at his explanation; he always had to be the logical and rational one, despite that her brain was ever-evolving.
“You laugh so beautifully,” he added, a sudden rush of emotion boiling to the surface of his tongue as he watched her smile - something he hadn’t seen her do in a long while.
“You’re the reason I can,” she concluded their conversation by sliding into his lap, cuddling his chest contentedly, innocently. He stroked her hair softly, as he had before, and she sighed, realizing for once that maybe being the odd person out wasn’t so bad, after all.
--
“I still don’t understand why you have to watch it in here, man,” Eli was annoyed as he cleared the science team and other assorted personnel from the bridge of Destiny as Doctor Nicholas Rush moved towards the Captain’s chair and took his seat.
“Do you have it, Eli?” Rush found that his voice was normal-toned, despite the situation. He wondered if it was because he had nothing else to lose, but then he again, reminded himself of the mission and nodded to himself with a sigh. Even if he were the last person left aboard this ship, he would see to it that the mission be completed.
“…Yeah. You uh, sure…you want to be alone?” Rush shifted a cold glare at Eli as the younger man quickly gave Rush the equipment to play out the kino recording and backed out of the room, shutting the large bulkhead door behind him.
Rush sat, staring at the equipment, unable to think much of anything until he finally realized that he was on the clock as the science team wasn’t happy about having to evacuate the bridge for any sort of reason, given its importance. Running his fingers over the device that held the recording, he wondered if he should watch it, at all.
“I think you’ll find the contents quite interesting.” He flinched, as his wife, Gloria, came into view, and nodded at the kino.
“It doesn’t matter what she says, it just doesn’t. I failed!” he snapped at her, although the apparition’s smile still fell towards the kino.
“In the end, you couldn’t control what was going to happen to her, Nicholas. All you can do is hope that she serves a larger purpose now; which is why I think you should watch the recording,” his wife motioned towards the kino again, and Rush sighed, running his hand across his forehead in distress.
“Why am I always the one left, Gloria? You…Mandy…Chloe…is it ever going to end?” His eyes were closed in pain, now, his head pressed against the head-rest of the chair.
“Everyone’s journey ends at some point, Nicholas…even yours,” with those ominous words, his wife left him to his broken-hearted reverie. Opening his tortured eyes, he quickly hit the ‘play’ button before he could change his mind. Chloe’s image popped up on the kino-feed and Rush felt his chest tighten around his heart.
Hello, Nicholas. I’m sure that by this time, I’m not ‘here’ anymore. I’m also sure that this means that you’re blaming yourself and probably hating a lot of people on board right now - but don’t. Colonel Young, Sgt. Greer…everyone was doing the right thing. Before I can explain, I just…wanted to tell you something…something personal.
Do you remember the first night that you stayed with me? Lying with you, knowing that at least, for a little while, that I was safe…was the nicest thing anyone could have done for me. Thank you. I know…I know that Gloria was your first love…and I…I know how much Amanda meant to you, I do. That’s why…I never mentioned this, because I didn’t want you to feel obligated to return the feeling…and maybe I didn’t want to know if you did, or not, looking back…
I love you, Nicholas. You saved me from myself, and you gave a girl who was slowly slipping away one last chance to be happy…so, thank you. I love you.
He paused the kino-feed for a moment; his brows furrowed together, his feelings conflicted. Despite his confusing mental state, he knew one thing for certain as he looked at the pretty, young woman on the footage;
“I love you too, Chloe,” his voice broke and he shifted uncomfortably in the Captain’s Chair, unable to deal with the sudden rush of emotion anymore without her by his side. He quickly hit ‘play’ again, as to avoid deeper analysis of the situation.
Back to…everyone doing the right thing. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I have a feeling…a feeling that I’m meant for something more. I think…I want to think that after I die, I’ll still serve a…a larger purpose. I’ll be happy to fulfill that purpose so just…know that I’m okay…okay?
I know we’ll see each other again. I believe it. Goodbye for now, Nicholas Rush.
Her eyes glowed with fierce resolve, and Rush wished he could share her faith. He nodded at the footage as an affirmation, but he wasn’t sure if he would ever be at peace with her passing.
“’Serve a larger purpose,’ isn’t that what you said?” He directed the question to the empty room, and like clockwork, Gloria appeared.
“Death doesn’t necessarily mean an end to one’s journey, but more…the beginning of a new chapter, shared with the one you love, as it should have been in life but as it was, never got to be,” she chose her words carefully, Rush could tell, and he pondered on what she could mean by such puzzles.
“What do you mean? Chloe’s gone - dead. The alien transformation was too much, and the military killed her - end of story, end of line. There are no happy endings here, Gloria. Not in this life. Not in my life,” he stressed the end of his sentence, bitterness seeping into his words as he went on.
“If Chloe had killed herself that night, her potential wouldn’t have been completed, and she would have never gotten close with you or been able to realize what she was meant for. This is Destiny - everything happens for a reason, and every story has a conclusion,” Gloria still spoke in riddles, he felt, and was just about to say as much to her before she vanished before his eyes.
Slamming his little notebook down to the floor in exasperation, he leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes for the second time, that day. He attempted to focus on natural breathing, focused on how to pull forth his mask of indifference to the others, so that they would never know. It was a difficult task now though, even more so after seeing her kino-recording.
Standing up, he walked to Destiny’s railing and looked out at the beautiful hues of color bouncing off of the walls from the FTL travel. It truly was amazing, but he felt that something was missing…her.
“What am I supposed to do, now?” He voiced his answer aloud, but Gloria didn’t give her usual, snarky reply. He sighed, hanging his head in disappointment.
“That’s not the Nicholas I know.” His eyes widened as he heard a familiar, girlish voice to the left of his body. Daring to look, he saw Chloe Armstrong standing next to him, wearing her sweetest smile.
“…Chloe?” He reached out to touch her, and he felt her skin - it was warm. “How…?” he started to question, but she shook her head.
“This is what was happening to me…it wasn’t ever the aliens changing me, Nicholas. It was Destiny. I had to die by another hand to fulfill my purpose - suicide is a sin, you know? Guess Destiny thinks so, too.”
“Your purpose…what purpose?” He was relieved to hear that it wasn’t the aliens tampering with her body, but he also couldn’t help but wonder if he was slowly going insane.
“This,” she spread her arms out across the bridge and motioned out towards the hues in FTL travel with a smile on her face, “The mission…and you. You’re integral; important. So am I, with all of the knowledge I obtained during my transformation.” Chloe pulled a piece of chalk out of her pocket and tossed it to the side for Rush to catch, laughing as he almost dropped it in surprise.
“Destiny chose you to be at my side for this…all of what has happened to the two of us…the aliens, the nightmares, the almost-suicide, the neural interface chair…for this?”
“Destiny decided from the moment that we ‘connected’ on an emotional level through my father’s death that we would do this together. We’re going to be the founders; the discoverers of something incredibly important to the world out here as we know it, Nicholas,” she held out her hand without hesitance, her face beaming to the point that his guilt over her passing was subsiding, very slightly.
“The Adam and Eve of a new era - an end of us all that is indeed the beginning to a new world as we know it, the mission - we’re going to be that integral?”
“Will you go on this journey with me, Nicholas Rush?” Her hand was still held out, and she stood, patiently for a response. He slowly reached his hand out and took hers within his, stroking her skin softly.
“Let’s make Destiny,” he affirmed, looking from her to the full extent of the bridge - their new playground until the end.
--
Darkness scattered across the bridge as systems flickered in and out, a message of warning playing throughout the ship from Destiny, who had long ago found her voice while she helped her crew to the end. Many had died along the way, but so it had been written in her chapters long ago that she would have to say goodbye to many a crew as time passed; and so, she accepted it.
Destiny had been through a battle, and Dr. Nicholas Rush stood at the foot of the bridge, looking out at what appeared to be a white door, floating in space. Colonel Young, Eli, Lt. Scott other assorted survivors hadn’t been able to see it when they had dropped out of FTL due to finally arriving at the source of the background radiation.
There was a power supply that could be generated past the background noise, Eli had mentioned, that could possibly get them home. Tamara Johansen had a smile on her face once more, Eli had been talking about his mother non-stop, and even Varro, a Lucien Alliance member, seemed giddy. Rush had been informed that they were finally going to go home through his walkie, but he long ago shut it off, not wishing to be disturbed.
He felt a presence behind him and immediately knew it was that of Chloe, her arms wrapping slowly across his chest. Somehow, he knew that it was time to go - he wouldn’t be seeing Earth, not ever again.
“Are you ready for your destiny, Nicholas Rush?” Even as she asked, he could feel his body no longer serving any purpose…white was beginning to envelop them both, and he felt a sense of peace that he had only toyed with after Gloria’s passing, with Amanda and Chloe - and it felt exhilarating.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for as long as I can remember,” he whispered to her, watching in awe as the white danced around them both, blurring his vision. Destiny started to seem like a far-off dream as he floated to a void of vast emptiness with Chloe’s consciousness burning brightly next to him, and he realized they were going to ascend together.
“The background noise can also be used to power one’s own mental structure, giving you the knowledge that you’ve craved for ascension, and the knowledge to change - of course, the radiation killing the body, but the mind…” Despite their lack of bodies, he could hear her explaining still as they floated around the void.
“Why would anything need to be changed?”
“There aren’t any ascended beings this far out, as humans never evolved on this end of the universe. We truly are the first of our kind, and as the first, we need to share with them all of the knowledge and all of the ways of the world that we will come to understand for a new future - a new home, for mankind,” she explained in a pleased tone, her consciousness glow burning the dark void like a sun.
“I thought that you said that it was possible for the rest of the expedition team to dial Earth?”
“Not the Earth that they remember,” Chloe’s voice dropped sadly as she continued, “they’ll never see their loved ones again. We’ve reached the end point, and the stones cannot be used, but they’ll have the chance to use the knowledge that we give them, to start-over…”
“…With the ascended beings, us, taking part in its existence and the life of humanity, this time?”
As she nodded, they both suddenly floated to the white room that had been in Chloe’s nightmares - but the scene was now noticeably different. Chloe stood on the path to ascension, the beautiful, flowing wedding dress perfectly tucked to her features. Deep, purple flower petals littered the ground - the same color that the background radiation noise would take on their screens through the Destiny. She held a purple bouquet in her hands, as well. Dr. Nicholas Rush stood next to her, his suit proper in his own way, although it had a shaggy look to it; much different from Lieutenant Scott’s polished, glossy look.
As they looked out of what had seemed to be a glass room that only the two of them could enter before, they saw the remaining living Destiny crew members - including Lieutenant Scott, waving from afar.
“You mentioned once that Lieutenant Scott was distorted when you tried to speak to him, but I was crystal clear,” Rush began, turning to the breathtaking Chloe, “I think I finally understand why - they’re not coming with us because we’re already gone, aren’t we?” She nodded somewhat sadly as she watched the familiar faces of Lt. Scott, Adam Brody, Eli Wallace, Colonel Young, Tamara Johansen, Lisa Park, Varro, and others, simply faded back into the world of the living.
“Once, I gave Matthew my blood to keep him alive, and we were concerned I contaminated him, but it was really just the beginning of a chain of events leading us here - Matthew has my blood, and he’s apart of Destiny and connected to the two of us, because of it,” she explained although she hadn’t needed to, as their memories and thoughts began to combine the moment they had ascended.
“Human-kind will receive all of its knowledge through Matthew, who I’m sure will pass it on to Eli…who will want to teach the others…and…” Rush sighed, knowing how much hard-ship truly did lay ahead for all of them, but Chloe took his hand and squeezed, reassuringly.
“They’ll learn to manage without you, Nicholas. They’ll be okay.”
“It’s…been a long time coming, hasn’t it, Miss Armstrong?”
“Ever since I told my father a little idea about putting a math proof into a video game that me to Icarus, and led us here,” she smiled nostalgically at the memory of her father.
“You led us home,” he turned to her one last time in corporeal form, taking her cheek with his hand and stroking it softly before pressing his lips against hers, to which she embraced and returned the kiss, softness against softness before they both faded to a white bliss.