crusty eyelids a good morning do not make.
yeah, woke up with, you guessed it. crusty eyelids. the past few mornings, i have been physically unable to open one eye due to excessive crustiness. way more than you needed to know, i'm sure. i dunno, i seem to have contracted some form of pink eye, in that this infliction changes from eye to eye like so much wind. it plagued me all last weekend; i found myself constantly de-crustifying the ol' peepers, when i should have been doing other, entirely more enjoyable things. and despite my best efforts with anti-biotic eye drops, the problem remains. though it does seem to have let up a bit today, but only the arrival of early morn will tell.
let's see. there are several things i wish to cover in this post, so let's all pray i can remember them.
there was nothing particularly interesting/horrifying at work today, save for when i realized that i had left the bag that contained my work pants and one of my work shirts, as well as essentially all of my personal grooming items. this was, of course, before i had arrived at work. for a few terrifying moments, i envisioned myself having to don my dark, yet unmistakabley "casual" jeans for today's shift. had i had to lower myself to such a level, i know i would have been ridiculed behind my back by EVERYONE, and i would have felt like a total shmuck, to boot. luckily i remembered ye goode olde pants of the pin-stripe variety. so i adorned myself in their high-waisted, "made-you-think-i'm-a-high-powered-business-woman-when-i'm-actually-so-unsuccessful-it's-scary," goodness, and off i went.
also.
babies + public transportation = BAD. a note to all mothers of both the present and future kind. DO not bring your babies on to the bus. just, don't do it. if you have to get somewhere, and don't have a ride, and have a kid, too fucking bad. you should have thought about that before you rode the rubber-less express, bitch. if i have to hear the sound of a small child screaming at the top of it's lungs ONE MORE GOD DAMNED TIME, i am going to start bashing things. hey, hey mom, wanna know why your child is freaking the hell out? hey? it's because you brought it on a fucking BUS, full of smelly, unpredictable, and certainly crazy strangers, all looming and menacing and shit. smart. move. and when your kid starts crying? don't attempt to quiet him or her. nono. just let them go to fucking town. i mean they'll get tired eventually, right? heh-heh, riiiight. you ASS-FUCK. *sigh*
sorry. i get all riled up when i start talking about the bus, and the people i am forced to encounter on a daily basis.
and there is another thing. i believe that, after much deliberation, after a lot of careful thought... i believe that it is time for me to find Gryffindor a new home. i don't deserve him, i truly don't. he is loyal, and faithful, and ever-loving, and i don't take good enough care of him to deserve that. i know i'm his mum, and my heart breaks at the thought of what giving him up will do to him - thoughts of abandonment and what have you - but if i can find him the right kind of home, the over-whelming happiness should start to kick in pretty quick. like, when i put that ad in the paper the first time, i got tons of calls from people who owned big ol' farms way out in the country, with other german shepards he could play around and explore with. shepards need TONS of exercise, in such amounts that i can't see myself being able to provide. plus, finding him a new home means i could move out pretty quick, and while i am at this point none too sure what kind of existence it will be minus my precious, sweet boy, i fear that any further delay of moving-out action will result in numerous, massive nervous break-downs, on my part. and while that may be a bit selfish, i suppose it was my own selfishness that lead me to take on a dog that i knew in my heart of hearts i couldn't handle, all for the want of a trustworthy companion. and a trustworthy companion my Gryff has proven to be. i only wish i could say the same for myself. this will be, without a doubt, the hardest thing i will probably ever do. even now as i look over at him asleep in his chair, i can feel the back of my eyes fill with tears, and a hole begin to form in my heart. curse the love that we feel for other creatures on this earth.
curse it, and bless it.