karina. unlocked.
Scanning problems. I didnt want to just forget about it, so I took the last hour crying to type this b/c I wanted everyone to finally feel what I'm feeling. Unlocked so everyone would feel it.
Its really funny to sit here and watch all the people who were friends with Harrison; I think back to only five months ago: I was in their predicament. They sit and stare that the floor for endless amounts of time. Sitting; Thinking; Remembering. Its hard for those kind of things. Fifteen years old, only fifteen. All in one grade level. In thr past four years its been three deaths. Of people who weren't even legal to do half the good things in life.
> I was at home this weekend, and "Say You'll Be There" by the Spice Girls was burned onto one of my CD's and all I could think of were the days back in 4th grade when Karina used to come over my house, we would back up some towels, snacks and my boombox, and we would go down to [the lake across the street from my house] Sparkle Lake. The two of us were absolutley CONVINCED that we were Sporty [her] and Scary [me] Spice. I would sing and dance, and she would backflip all over the place.
> One time we went to [Robert Moses] Beach, and I was scared shitless of going into the water b/c of all the jellyfish. I remember so distinctly she refused to let me sit down on the table, she held my hand and walked with me in. After that it seemed like euphoria. The entire day was nothing but fun. All I can remember is us seeing hot guys every 50 feet, and Karina using her stunning gymnastic skills to wow them. I dont know what it was but there eas something so special about that girl. There was this crazy aura around her that no matter how hard you tried you could never figure out. That girl glowed and there was no two ways around it. Its so dumb to think about all the times the two of us got into fights, I just never want to get into a fight with anybody ever again because it scares me.
> I think back and I remember back to every last detail of that night. Sunday, October 13 I had gone to Applebees with Lauren, and we were going to catch a movie afterwards, we were bored, so we called Matt. He came, and we went to see the Rules of Attraction. It blew, so we left early and hung out in Walmart for a while then we went home. I was in a movie when one of my best friends was getting wheeled onto a stretcher fighting for her life.
>It was 9:30 the next morning that Ashie called me, we had school off that day. She sounded really strange; I asked her what was going on, and she had so many problems actually spitting it out. She was like Jennie- Karina died. I couldn't really say anything, I tried a couple of times, but nothing came out. I kept myself together long enough to I would call her back. I sat in shock for a couple of minutes, and started pacing really fast around the kitchen. I kept saying to myself Ashley's lying, she's not dead, she's going to call me and we can go to Six Flags again. Its all a really bad joke. Shes not dead It took about five minuted of pacing and talking to myself for me to actually start to cry. And I have never in my life cried so hard. I was just pacing, and I fell down on the floor and started bawling. Hysterical full blown screaming. I called my mom at work and I just cried and cried on the phone to her. She told me if I needed to go to anyones house it was alright. I love my mom. Ashley called me again a little later an she told me some new developments in the story. She was still alive but in CRITICAL condition in the hospital. Thank god for Ashie too. I dont think I would have made it through without her. I love you Ash. Daddy came around later to fix my computer cuz the peice of shit crashed again. Later on, Mommy came home and took me to the hospital. That was the only time I had been in the hospital that I saw less than fifteen people in the waiting room. It was so generous for the hospital staff to let us up there. It was unheard of for a hospital allow visitors (and bregades of MINORS no less) So thank you to them as well. I came in and Di and Maria weregetting a soda. I went downstairs with them so they could show me the way back up when they were finished. We walked down the hall, made a right, left, right, down the hall, and on the elevator on the left. Off the elevator, and left down the hall to the waiting room. There was somebody in the room when I got there so we just waited in the waiting room, Ashie and Sarah were in there. When the finally came out, Sarah went in with in me. Straight down the hall, and through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit. She pointed towards a room and I walked through the door. If Sarah hadn't been holding me up I would have fallen down. My legs just gave into my weight. There were so many tubes and machines. Cords all over the place, bruises everywhere, and her head was all bandaged. I couldnt take it. I sat in the waiting room with the other girls. Visiting hours were over at 9:30 so we packed up and went home.
> For the next couple of weeks, I was in the hospital everyday. But the first day back was hard. I was with the girls in guidence all day. We talked about the times we had with her, drew pictures for her hospital room, and wrote cards for her family. A family I've known almost my entire life. Letters to the sister that looks like a 6th grade Karina. It started with 10 people, then grew to 20. They moved us to the auditiorium because by 5th period the number had escilated to 40. It really upsetted me though, I knew the most of them were there because they were friends with Kay, but the others? Melany Delonge? Mariah Bellanger? Granted, they're nice people, but they didnt even associate with her. One other thing boggled my brain. How is it possible that they were upset enough to miss class, but they werent upset enough to visit her at the hospital. Unless these people have special magical powers that can make them invisible, or could turn them into a potted plant in her hospital room-- THEY WEREN'T THERE.
Its really funny to sit here and watch all the people who were friends with Harrison; I think back to only five months ago: I was in their predicament. They sit and stare that the floor for endless amounts of time. Sitting; Thinking; Remembering. Its hard for those kind of things. Fifteen years old, only fifteen. All in one grade level. In thr past four years its been three deaths. Of people who weren't even legal to do half the good things in life.
> I was at home this weekend, and "Say You'll Be There" by the Spice Girls was burned onto one of my CD's and all I could think of were the days back in 4th grade when Karina used to come over my house, we would back up some towels, snacks and my boombox, and we would go down to [the lake across the street from my house] Sparkle Lake. The two of us were absolutley CONVINCED that we were Sporty [her] and Scary [me] Spice. I would sing and dance, and she would backflip all over the place.
> One time we went to [Robert Moses] Beach, and I was scared shitless of going into the water b/c of all the jellyfish. I remember so distinctly she refused to let me sit down on the table, she held my hand and walked with me in. After that it seemed like euphoria. The entire day was nothing but fun. All I can remember is us seeing hot guys every 50 feet, and Karina using her stunning gymnastic skills to wow them. I dont know what it was but there eas something so special about that girl. There was this crazy aura around her that no matter how hard you tried you could never figure out. That girl glowed and there was no two ways around it. Its so dumb to think about all the times the two of us got into fights, I just never want to get into a fight with anybody ever again because it scares me.
> I think back and I remember back to every last detail of that night. Sunday, October 13 I had gone to Applebees with Lauren, and we were going to catch a movie afterwards, we were bored, so we called Matt. He came, and we went to see the Rules of Attraction. It blew, so we left early and hung out in Walmart for a while then we went home. I was in a movie when one of my best friends was getting wheeled onto a stretcher fighting for her life.
>It was 9:30 the next morning that Ashie called me, we had school off that day. She sounded really strange; I asked her what was going on, and she had so many problems actually spitting it out. She was like Jennie- Karina died. I couldn't really say anything, I tried a couple of times, but nothing came out. I kept myself together long enough to I would call her back. I sat in shock for a couple of minutes, and started pacing really fast around the kitchen. I kept saying to myself Ashley's lying, she's not dead, she's going to call me and we can go to Six Flags again. Its all a really bad joke. Shes not dead It took about five minuted of pacing and talking to myself for me to actually start to cry. And I have never in my life cried so hard. I was just pacing, and I fell down on the floor and started bawling. Hysterical full blown screaming. I called my mom at work and I just cried and cried on the phone to her. She told me if I needed to go to anyones house it was alright. I love my mom. Ashley called me again a little later an she told me some new developments in the story. She was still alive but in CRITICAL condition in the hospital. Thank god for Ashie too. I dont think I would have made it through without her. I love you Ash. Daddy came around later to fix my computer cuz the peice of shit crashed again. Later on, Mommy came home and took me to the hospital. That was the only time I had been in the hospital that I saw less than fifteen people in the waiting room. It was so generous for the hospital staff to let us up there. It was unheard of for a hospital allow visitors (and bregades of MINORS no less) So thank you to them as well. I came in and Di and Maria weregetting a soda. I went downstairs with them so they could show me the way back up when they were finished. We walked down the hall, made a right, left, right, down the hall, and on the elevator on the left. Off the elevator, and left down the hall to the waiting room. There was somebody in the room when I got there so we just waited in the waiting room, Ashie and Sarah were in there. When the finally came out, Sarah went in with in me. Straight down the hall, and through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit. She pointed towards a room and I walked through the door. If Sarah hadn't been holding me up I would have fallen down. My legs just gave into my weight. There were so many tubes and machines. Cords all over the place, bruises everywhere, and her head was all bandaged. I couldnt take it. I sat in the waiting room with the other girls. Visiting hours were over at 9:30 so we packed up and went home.
> For the next couple of weeks, I was in the hospital everyday. But the first day back was hard. I was with the girls in guidence all day. We talked about the times we had with her, drew pictures for her hospital room, and wrote cards for her family. A family I've known almost my entire life. Letters to the sister that looks like a 6th grade Karina. It started with 10 people, then grew to 20. They moved us to the auditiorium because by 5th period the number had escilated to 40. It really upsetted me though, I knew the most of them were there because they were friends with Kay, but the others? Melany Delonge? Mariah Bellanger? Granted, they're nice people, but they didnt even associate with her. One other thing boggled my brain was, if you are upset enough to miss class, how is it that you are not upset enough to come and visit her in the hospital? Unless they have special magical powers that can make them invisible, or can turn them into a potted plant in her hospital room-- THEY WERENT THERE
> The first day, I met Brian. Bry was my comic relief during the whole thing. He kept me laughing the entire way. One day I was in the room with him, and her. He brought a boombox and he put on her favorite Aerosmith song. The whole time we were just talking to her like nothing was wrong... she just didnt answer back. He made fun of me the whole time, we had fun. I just wish her eyes had been open. She would have been laughing with us
sorry i never told you.
all I wanted to say
now its too late to hold you.
you've flown away. so far away
never had i imagined
living without your smile
feeling more when you hear me
it keeps me alive; alive
and i know your shining down on me from heaven
like so many friends we've lost along the way
and i know eventually we'll be together
one sweet day
darlin, i never showed you
assumed you'd always be there
i took you presence for granted
but i always cared, and i miss the love we shared.
and i know your shining down on me from heaven
like so many friends we've lost along the way
and i know eventually we'll be together
one sweet day
all though the sun will never shine the same
i'll always look to a brighter day
lord i know, when i lay down to sleep
you will always listen as i pray
I miss her so much.
Thanks for listening :,)
+jenn
Its really funny to sit here and watch all the people who were friends with Harrison; I think back to only five months ago: I was in their predicament. They sit and stare that the floor for endless amounts of time. Sitting; Thinking; Remembering. Its hard for those kind of things. Fifteen years old, only fifteen. All in one grade level. In thr past four years its been three deaths. Of people who weren't even legal to do half the good things in life.
> I was at home this weekend, and "Say You'll Be There" by the Spice Girls was burned onto one of my CD's and all I could think of were the days back in 4th grade when Karina used to come over my house, we would back up some towels, snacks and my boombox, and we would go down to [the lake across the street from my house] Sparkle Lake. The two of us were absolutley CONVINCED that we were Sporty [her] and Scary [me] Spice. I would sing and dance, and she would backflip all over the place.
> One time we went to [Robert Moses] Beach, and I was scared shitless of going into the water b/c of all the jellyfish. I remember so distinctly she refused to let me sit down on the table, she held my hand and walked with me in. After that it seemed like euphoria. The entire day was nothing but fun. All I can remember is us seeing hot guys every 50 feet, and Karina using her stunning gymnastic skills to wow them. I dont know what it was but there eas something so special about that girl. There was this crazy aura around her that no matter how hard you tried you could never figure out. That girl glowed and there was no two ways around it. Its so dumb to think about all the times the two of us got into fights, I just never want to get into a fight with anybody ever again because it scares me.
> I think back and I remember back to every last detail of that night. Sunday, October 13 I had gone to Applebees with Lauren, and we were going to catch a movie afterwards, we were bored, so we called Matt. He came, and we went to see the Rules of Attraction. It blew, so we left early and hung out in Walmart for a while then we went home. I was in a movie when one of my best friends was getting wheeled onto a stretcher fighting for her life.
>It was 9:30 the next morning that Ashie called me, we had school off that day. She sounded really strange; I asked her what was going on, and she had so many problems actually spitting it out. She was like Jennie- Karina died. I couldn't really say anything, I tried a couple of times, but nothing came out. I kept myself together long enough to I would call her back. I sat in shock for a couple of minutes, and started pacing really fast around the kitchen. I kept saying to myself Ashley's lying, she's not dead, she's going to call me and we can go to Six Flags again. Its all a really bad joke. Shes not dead It took about five minuted of pacing and talking to myself for me to actually start to cry. And I have never in my life cried so hard. I was just pacing, and I fell down on the floor and started bawling. Hysterical full blown screaming. I called my mom at work and I just cried and cried on the phone to her. She told me if I needed to go to anyones house it was alright. I love my mom. Ashley called me again a little later an she told me some new developments in the story. She was still alive but in CRITICAL condition in the hospital. Thank god for Ashie too. I dont think I would have made it through without her. I love you Ash. Daddy came around later to fix my computer cuz the peice of shit crashed again. Later on, Mommy came home and took me to the hospital. That was the only time I had been in the hospital that I saw less than fifteen people in the waiting room. It was so generous for the hospital staff to let us up there. It was unheard of for a hospital allow visitors (and bregades of MINORS no less) So thank you to them as well. I came in and Di and Maria weregetting a soda. I went downstairs with them so they could show me the way back up when they were finished. We walked down the hall, made a right, left, right, down the hall, and on the elevator on the left. Off the elevator, and left down the hall to the waiting room. There was somebody in the room when I got there so we just waited in the waiting room, Ashie and Sarah were in there. When the finally came out, Sarah went in with in me. Straight down the hall, and through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit. She pointed towards a room and I walked through the door. If Sarah hadn't been holding me up I would have fallen down. My legs just gave into my weight. There were so many tubes and machines. Cords all over the place, bruises everywhere, and her head was all bandaged. I couldnt take it. I sat in the waiting room with the other girls. Visiting hours were over at 9:30 so we packed up and went home.
> For the next couple of weeks, I was in the hospital everyday. But the first day back was hard. I was with the girls in guidence all day. We talked about the times we had with her, drew pictures for her hospital room, and wrote cards for her family. A family I've known almost my entire life. Letters to the sister that looks like a 6th grade Karina. It started with 10 people, then grew to 20. They moved us to the auditiorium because by 5th period the number had escilated to 40. It really upsetted me though, I knew the most of them were there because they were friends with Kay, but the others? Melany Delonge? Mariah Bellanger? Granted, they're nice people, but they didnt even associate with her. One other thing boggled my brain. How is it possible that they were upset enough to miss class, but they werent upset enough to visit her at the hospital. Unless these people have special magical powers that can make them invisible, or could turn them into a potted plant in her hospital room-- THEY WEREN'T THERE.
Its really funny to sit here and watch all the people who were friends with Harrison; I think back to only five months ago: I was in their predicament. They sit and stare that the floor for endless amounts of time. Sitting; Thinking; Remembering. Its hard for those kind of things. Fifteen years old, only fifteen. All in one grade level. In thr past four years its been three deaths. Of people who weren't even legal to do half the good things in life.
> I was at home this weekend, and "Say You'll Be There" by the Spice Girls was burned onto one of my CD's and all I could think of were the days back in 4th grade when Karina used to come over my house, we would back up some towels, snacks and my boombox, and we would go down to [the lake across the street from my house] Sparkle Lake. The two of us were absolutley CONVINCED that we were Sporty [her] and Scary [me] Spice. I would sing and dance, and she would backflip all over the place.
> One time we went to [Robert Moses] Beach, and I was scared shitless of going into the water b/c of all the jellyfish. I remember so distinctly she refused to let me sit down on the table, she held my hand and walked with me in. After that it seemed like euphoria. The entire day was nothing but fun. All I can remember is us seeing hot guys every 50 feet, and Karina using her stunning gymnastic skills to wow them. I dont know what it was but there eas something so special about that girl. There was this crazy aura around her that no matter how hard you tried you could never figure out. That girl glowed and there was no two ways around it. Its so dumb to think about all the times the two of us got into fights, I just never want to get into a fight with anybody ever again because it scares me.
> I think back and I remember back to every last detail of that night. Sunday, October 13 I had gone to Applebees with Lauren, and we were going to catch a movie afterwards, we were bored, so we called Matt. He came, and we went to see the Rules of Attraction. It blew, so we left early and hung out in Walmart for a while then we went home. I was in a movie when one of my best friends was getting wheeled onto a stretcher fighting for her life.
>It was 9:30 the next morning that Ashie called me, we had school off that day. She sounded really strange; I asked her what was going on, and she had so many problems actually spitting it out. She was like Jennie- Karina died. I couldn't really say anything, I tried a couple of times, but nothing came out. I kept myself together long enough to I would call her back. I sat in shock for a couple of minutes, and started pacing really fast around the kitchen. I kept saying to myself Ashley's lying, she's not dead, she's going to call me and we can go to Six Flags again. Its all a really bad joke. Shes not dead It took about five minuted of pacing and talking to myself for me to actually start to cry. And I have never in my life cried so hard. I was just pacing, and I fell down on the floor and started bawling. Hysterical full blown screaming. I called my mom at work and I just cried and cried on the phone to her. She told me if I needed to go to anyones house it was alright. I love my mom. Ashley called me again a little later an she told me some new developments in the story. She was still alive but in CRITICAL condition in the hospital. Thank god for Ashie too. I dont think I would have made it through without her. I love you Ash. Daddy came around later to fix my computer cuz the peice of shit crashed again. Later on, Mommy came home and took me to the hospital. That was the only time I had been in the hospital that I saw less than fifteen people in the waiting room. It was so generous for the hospital staff to let us up there. It was unheard of for a hospital allow visitors (and bregades of MINORS no less) So thank you to them as well. I came in and Di and Maria weregetting a soda. I went downstairs with them so they could show me the way back up when they were finished. We walked down the hall, made a right, left, right, down the hall, and on the elevator on the left. Off the elevator, and left down the hall to the waiting room. There was somebody in the room when I got there so we just waited in the waiting room, Ashie and Sarah were in there. When the finally came out, Sarah went in with in me. Straight down the hall, and through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit. She pointed towards a room and I walked through the door. If Sarah hadn't been holding me up I would have fallen down. My legs just gave into my weight. There were so many tubes and machines. Cords all over the place, bruises everywhere, and her head was all bandaged. I couldnt take it. I sat in the waiting room with the other girls. Visiting hours were over at 9:30 so we packed up and went home.
> For the next couple of weeks, I was in the hospital everyday. But the first day back was hard. I was with the girls in guidence all day. We talked about the times we had with her, drew pictures for her hospital room, and wrote cards for her family. A family I've known almost my entire life. Letters to the sister that looks like a 6th grade Karina. It started with 10 people, then grew to 20. They moved us to the auditiorium because by 5th period the number had escilated to 40. It really upsetted me though, I knew the most of them were there because they were friends with Kay, but the others? Melany Delonge? Mariah Bellanger? Granted, they're nice people, but they didnt even associate with her. One other thing boggled my brain was, if you are upset enough to miss class, how is it that you are not upset enough to come and visit her in the hospital? Unless they have special magical powers that can make them invisible, or can turn them into a potted plant in her hospital room-- THEY WERENT THERE
> The first day, I met Brian. Bry was my comic relief during the whole thing. He kept me laughing the entire way. One day I was in the room with him, and her. He brought a boombox and he put on her favorite Aerosmith song. The whole time we were just talking to her like nothing was wrong... she just didnt answer back. He made fun of me the whole time, we had fun. I just wish her eyes had been open. She would have been laughing with us
sorry i never told you.
all I wanted to say
now its too late to hold you.
you've flown away. so far away
never had i imagined
living without your smile
feeling more when you hear me
it keeps me alive; alive
and i know your shining down on me from heaven
like so many friends we've lost along the way
and i know eventually we'll be together
one sweet day
darlin, i never showed you
assumed you'd always be there
i took you presence for granted
but i always cared, and i miss the love we shared.
and i know your shining down on me from heaven
like so many friends we've lost along the way
and i know eventually we'll be together
one sweet day
all though the sun will never shine the same
i'll always look to a brighter day
lord i know, when i lay down to sleep
you will always listen as i pray
I miss her so much.
Thanks for listening :,)
+jenn