Day 157
Personal Log
Dr. Tora Neprem
Furel-Darhe'el Research Station
"Project Triumph"
Day 157
[begin log]
I am worried about my assistant Seska. It occurs to me that she doesn't have much of a life outside of work. None of us really do, here, with the highly-classified work we do, but it must be harder on her than most. I, at least, can tell myself that I've had my thrilling adventurous times, my romances, my excitement. I have a twenty-year-old daughter, doesn't that tell you I'm past interesting things? But Seska's not even thirty yet, and here she is, stuck in a lab all day with me. She has perhaps two friends besides me, and they're other research-station employees. Whom she's been too busy to talk to, lately. If Stadi security considerations would even allow it, now that the project is in its critical stages.
Not that it's not an honour to be selected to work on this project. Seska realizes that, I realize that, heck, Stadi realizes that even while she's after us to finish as fast as we can. If all goes well, this project will have great benefits for the Alliance. We'll get all sorts of accolades, be able to choose just about any other project we want to after this. We're lucky to be doing this kind of work. It's what I've always wanted.
Still. I can count the number of times--twice--in the last six months that Seska has received any romantic attention from anyone. Not from me--she's a beautiful Cardassian girl, but she reminds me more of Ziyal than of anyone.
*bitter sigh*
Some people lately would say that I don't have the right to say that. To compare anyone to my daughter, whom I walked out on more than a decade ago. Maybe they're right. I don't know what Ziyal is like now, or if she matches the image I have of her in my head. I don't know how much she's changed from the ten-year-old I saw on Bajor that summer with Nerys. But I can't help being reminded of her sometimes, when I see a young Cardassian or Bajoran girl. I think she'd have some of Seska's self-confidence. I guess she'd get that from me, just as she probably has her father's mind for details and his compassion.
I hope so. I hope she's been all right. I hope--
I just hope everything works out. There are so many things I can't talk about, even here in my private diary. Complications with the project and current politics--even saying that much is risky. I wish I could say I thought my private logs would be safe if they decided they didn't trust me any more, but I lived too long with Nerys to be that naive. I just hope that when this is all over, I can someday tell my daughter how much I still love her. I hope she believes me.
*smiles into the camera*
I've got to get back. It's been a while since I made an entry in this journal, but for some reason I felt like I needed to today. But there's work to be done, meetings to go to, administration to placate. Thank all the gods in existence this project is almost done...
[/end log]
Dr. Tora Neprem
Furel-Darhe'el Research Station
"Project Triumph"
Day 157
[begin log]
I am worried about my assistant Seska. It occurs to me that she doesn't have much of a life outside of work. None of us really do, here, with the highly-classified work we do, but it must be harder on her than most. I, at least, can tell myself that I've had my thrilling adventurous times, my romances, my excitement. I have a twenty-year-old daughter, doesn't that tell you I'm past interesting things? But Seska's not even thirty yet, and here she is, stuck in a lab all day with me. She has perhaps two friends besides me, and they're other research-station employees. Whom she's been too busy to talk to, lately. If Stadi security considerations would even allow it, now that the project is in its critical stages.
Not that it's not an honour to be selected to work on this project. Seska realizes that, I realize that, heck, Stadi realizes that even while she's after us to finish as fast as we can. If all goes well, this project will have great benefits for the Alliance. We'll get all sorts of accolades, be able to choose just about any other project we want to after this. We're lucky to be doing this kind of work. It's what I've always wanted.
Still. I can count the number of times--twice--in the last six months that Seska has received any romantic attention from anyone. Not from me--she's a beautiful Cardassian girl, but she reminds me more of Ziyal than of anyone.
*bitter sigh*
Some people lately would say that I don't have the right to say that. To compare anyone to my daughter, whom I walked out on more than a decade ago. Maybe they're right. I don't know what Ziyal is like now, or if she matches the image I have of her in my head. I don't know how much she's changed from the ten-year-old I saw on Bajor that summer with Nerys. But I can't help being reminded of her sometimes, when I see a young Cardassian or Bajoran girl. I think she'd have some of Seska's self-confidence. I guess she'd get that from me, just as she probably has her father's mind for details and his compassion.
I hope so. I hope she's been all right. I hope--
I just hope everything works out. There are so many things I can't talk about, even here in my private diary. Complications with the project and current politics--even saying that much is risky. I wish I could say I thought my private logs would be safe if they decided they didn't trust me any more, but I lived too long with Nerys to be that naive. I just hope that when this is all over, I can someday tell my daughter how much I still love her. I hope she believes me.
*smiles into the camera*
I've got to get back. It's been a while since I made an entry in this journal, but for some reason I felt like I needed to today. But there's work to be done, meetings to go to, administration to placate. Thank all the gods in existence this project is almost done...
[/end log]