Posted for feedback and critique.

Jan 17, 2006 14:36

There's no official- nor tentative- title. It's my first attempt at mystery, something I've been amusing myself with. Enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Chapter 1 )

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Comments 9

schnee January 17 2006, 20:09:16 UTC
I like it so far. :)

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pyke January 17 2006, 20:21:06 UTC
Thanks. I thought I'd share something with everyone seeing it's been a while since I've posted anything I've written. I hope that it can provide others with some enjoyment and entertainment.

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schnee January 17 2006, 20:39:41 UTC
Definitely. ^^ I'm looking forward to the next part, too. *snuggles the cheetah*

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brokennaivety January 18 2006, 07:57:09 UTC
That's pretty good Shawn. I think I'm gonna read it again when It's not 3:00 AM, because it seemed like there was 'Something' amiss about the way it was worded, but it may just be sleep dep :)

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pyke January 18 2006, 08:52:15 UTC
Hey thanks for that vote of confidence. I'd be willing to bet a story like this one could become quite interesting with a sleep-deprived reader. Have fun re-reading it when you're more coherent.

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brokennaivety January 18 2006, 20:16:04 UTC
Ok, yeah it made much more sense the second time around. For somereason it just seemed like something was off last night, but I can't see it now so...Good job.

Keep it up, I'm interested in this now :P

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holy crap mystiejean January 21 2006, 08:15:37 UTC
nice work... keep it up... maybe you can finish it and get published!

what's up with not telling your sister that you decided to change your freakin name? i'm offline for 3 weeks and you change your name... and don't bother telling your favorite sis? just bc i'm 900 miles away doesn't mean you can't pick up the phone and call ever again. i miss you lots! maybe if you're lucky i'll send a "virginia is for lovers" t-shirt... but you have to ask nicely and play nice with the OTHER sister while i'm not there.

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Re: holy crap pyke January 21 2006, 20:31:58 UTC
*laughs a bit* Glad you liked what I've written so far. As for the name thing, most people have come to know me as Pyke (sometimes they'll get to know my real name, but that's rare) and most people will still call me Pyke. No biggie there. The persona name doesn't change who I am or what I do. Lemme give you an example. In March, I'm going to be attending Pawpet Megaplex and I have a routine of getting a con badge made for whatever animal form I'm going with at that time. This year will be cheetah (it's helping me focus on getting back into shape- RAWR!) and the name on that badge will be Timari, but I'll still wear my other 4 or 5 con badges (of various animals) that have the name Pyke on them. Shawn, Pyke, Timari. I answer to them all. Even Schmo, in a certain crowd. Schmo is a variation of my initials (S.M.O.), not to be confused with the definition of being stupid.

Okay, I rambled on a lot. o.o But, now you know and can understand. ^.^

Stay frosty naval sister.

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Re: holy crap mystiejean January 21 2006, 21:32:32 UTC
you're such a dork shawn. you'll always be shawn to me... or shawnsabonz... depends on if i want to piss you off or not.

btw... i don't remember if i told you this not but good luck on the getting in shape thing... it takes a lot of motivation... but if your little sis can run a mile and a half in 12 minutes flat and do 70 pushups in a minute and a half... i think you can get in shape... stay focused on your goal... you can do it (...you can do it all night long).

oh i forgot to ask you the other day when i was talking to you but do you want to come up to norfolk with mom like march-ish? bc i might be able to swing a few plane tickets with my tax refund (and i'd rather someone besides you-know-who travel with her... and who better than my big-big brother?)... let me know.

love you shawn.

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