it's for the look, i don't light it
1) What's worse - A one night stand or a bad relationship?
Oh God, a bad relationship. Is this even a question? Since when are one-night stands bad? Since when do I have any standards or class, apparently?
2) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
It's really easy to forget if you turn to drugs.
3) Can men and women be "just friends"?
Thank you, BILLY CRYSTAL. Um, yes. No. I don't know. Of course they can. I am "just friends" with basically every man I know, except my boyfriend and my hoards of male prostitutes.
4) Dating co-workers…
I WANT MY LIFE TO BE THE OFFICE. Also, I just wrote "me life", so I think what I really meant is, I want my life to be the PIRATE office.
5) All expenses paid vacation to where?
Vietnam.
6) On your way to the electric chair - what's your last meal?
Oh, shit. Don't even ask this, it's a long answer. Here we go:
First course: french onion soup with delicious cheesy bread that is somehow not impossible to eat. And some garlic bread for good measure. And a Diet Coke. And a chocolate milkshake.
Second course: roast beef and yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes. And a Diet Coke. And a chocolate milkshake.
Third course: pad thai. And...you get the idea.
Fourth course: SUMMER FUCKING PUDDING. And the carrot cake from the dining hall. And just for good measure, another chocolate milkshake.
Fifth course: Nachos.
7) At the water park?
I hate that shit. Climbing up stairs in a bathing suit with lots of fat people is just not my idea of a good time.
8) When you are "in love" do you notice other people?
Not anyone in the entire world. What kind of stupid question is this? Of course I do.
9) Is flirting cheating?
I draw the line a little further, personally.
10) Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
One great friend. No doubt.
11) If someone called you an asshole would you be offended?
I guess it would depend. Did I just punch them in the face? Fuck their sister? Take a shit on their chest while they slept? In that case, nah, it's all good.
12) Are you okay with your significant other being friends with other girls?
He may have no human contact besides me.
13) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
NEVER SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS FOR DIRTY GOD TRAITORS.
14) Favourite sport?
Jello wrestling.
15) Is toilet paper hung over or under?
Over, you heathen scum.
16) Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or the end?
Middle. I think. I prefer the little squirty Simpsons themed ones.
17) Friends with benefits?
What could possibly go wrong?!
18) Do you believe in angels?
Nope.
19) Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Bah. Sure. I don't know. The men at Portland Food and Wine, when they looked at me like I was stealing a samosa, which I was? Sure.
20) Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Who does this?
21) Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Only bootleg prostitutes.
22) Is it ever ok to ask out your ex's best friend?
No, no, no, no. No.
23) If you could play any sport professionally, what would it be?
Professional sass.
24) Ever break up with someone and regret it?
That's basically my middle name. Rachel Break Up With Someone And Regret It Fields.
25) Are you a jealous person?
Only if by jealous, you mean certifiably insane.
26) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
I doubt it. My dad offered my eye surgery for my birthday, and I was too scared.
27) Has Chuck Norris ever come to your house?
I hate Chuck Norris jokes more than I hate people who don't like Harry Potter and the smell of the FSU lounge.
28) Who has the sexiest accent?
Irish is sexy. English is comforting. Australian is interesting.
29) Are you a beach, country or city person?
Right near the beach, boyyyyyyy!
30) Where do you spend most of your money?
I'm sure it's not alcohol and drugs. I'm just positive.
31) Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I'm not currently working at a "job" at all.
32) Have you and your friends ever gotten a piercing at a piercing party?
Hahahahaha what? A PIERCING PARTY? Once I went with a friend to get her ears pierced when she was 18, though. So weird being in Claire's past the age of 11.
33) Would you ever attend a piercing party if asked?
Sure. I really hope I am asked, now.
34) Can you change a car tire?
One time, I got a flat by Baskin Robbins at 2:30 am, and my dad had to drive out and fix it. It was a great time, filled with irrational anger and my dad kicking BR cups across the parking lot. Sweet, sweet memories.
35) Would you consider yourself adventurous?
I can be, but I'm not usually the person to initiate it.
36) Can you shoot pool?
I only shoot people.
37) Would you sing karaoke in front of co-workers/friends?
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOIN TONIGHT BIIIITCHESSSSS.
38) Ever skip school and spent the day at the beach?
Sure. Cleveland beach.
39) When you marry, will you wear black?
I certainly hope not. I'm not a big fan of the white-is-for-virgins symbolism thing, but black? Really? It's a wedding, not a depression party.
40) Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Have you ever...been a person?
41) Favorite Muppets character?
Gonzo.
Oh God, a bad relationship. Is this even a question? Since when are one-night stands bad? Since when do I have any standards or class, apparently?
2) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
It's really easy to forget if you turn to drugs.
3) Can men and women be "just friends"?
Thank you, BILLY CRYSTAL. Um, yes. No. I don't know. Of course they can. I am "just friends" with basically every man I know, except my boyfriend and my hoards of male prostitutes.
4) Dating co-workers…
I WANT MY LIFE TO BE THE OFFICE. Also, I just wrote "me life", so I think what I really meant is, I want my life to be the PIRATE office.
5) All expenses paid vacation to where?
Vietnam.
6) On your way to the electric chair - what's your last meal?
Oh, shit. Don't even ask this, it's a long answer. Here we go:
First course: french onion soup with delicious cheesy bread that is somehow not impossible to eat. And some garlic bread for good measure. And a Diet Coke. And a chocolate milkshake.
Second course: roast beef and yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes. And a Diet Coke. And a chocolate milkshake.
Third course: pad thai. And...you get the idea.
Fourth course: SUMMER FUCKING PUDDING. And the carrot cake from the dining hall. And just for good measure, another chocolate milkshake.
Fifth course: Nachos.
7) At the water park?
I hate that shit. Climbing up stairs in a bathing suit with lots of fat people is just not my idea of a good time.
8) When you are "in love" do you notice other people?
Not anyone in the entire world. What kind of stupid question is this? Of course I do.
9) Is flirting cheating?
I draw the line a little further, personally.
10) Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
One great friend. No doubt.
11) If someone called you an asshole would you be offended?
I guess it would depend. Did I just punch them in the face? Fuck their sister? Take a shit on their chest while they slept? In that case, nah, it's all good.
12) Are you okay with your significant other being friends with other girls?
He may have no human contact besides me.
13) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
NEVER SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS FOR DIRTY GOD TRAITORS.
14) Favourite sport?
Jello wrestling.
15) Is toilet paper hung over or under?
Over, you heathen scum.
16) Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or the end?
Middle. I think. I prefer the little squirty Simpsons themed ones.
17) Friends with benefits?
What could possibly go wrong?!
18) Do you believe in angels?
Nope.
19) Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Bah. Sure. I don't know. The men at Portland Food and Wine, when they looked at me like I was stealing a samosa, which I was? Sure.
20) Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Who does this?
21) Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Only bootleg prostitutes.
22) Is it ever ok to ask out your ex's best friend?
No, no, no, no. No.
23) If you could play any sport professionally, what would it be?
Professional sass.
24) Ever break up with someone and regret it?
That's basically my middle name. Rachel Break Up With Someone And Regret It Fields.
25) Are you a jealous person?
Only if by jealous, you mean certifiably insane.
26) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
I doubt it. My dad offered my eye surgery for my birthday, and I was too scared.
27) Has Chuck Norris ever come to your house?
I hate Chuck Norris jokes more than I hate people who don't like Harry Potter and the smell of the FSU lounge.
28) Who has the sexiest accent?
Irish is sexy. English is comforting. Australian is interesting.
29) Are you a beach, country or city person?
Right near the beach, boyyyyyyy!
30) Where do you spend most of your money?
I'm sure it's not alcohol and drugs. I'm just positive.
31) Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I'm not currently working at a "job" at all.
32) Have you and your friends ever gotten a piercing at a piercing party?
Hahahahaha what? A PIERCING PARTY? Once I went with a friend to get her ears pierced when she was 18, though. So weird being in Claire's past the age of 11.
33) Would you ever attend a piercing party if asked?
Sure. I really hope I am asked, now.
34) Can you change a car tire?
One time, I got a flat by Baskin Robbins at 2:30 am, and my dad had to drive out and fix it. It was a great time, filled with irrational anger and my dad kicking BR cups across the parking lot. Sweet, sweet memories.
35) Would you consider yourself adventurous?
I can be, but I'm not usually the person to initiate it.
36) Can you shoot pool?
I only shoot people.
37) Would you sing karaoke in front of co-workers/friends?
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOIN TONIGHT BIIIITCHESSSSS.
38) Ever skip school and spent the day at the beach?
Sure. Cleveland beach.
39) When you marry, will you wear black?
I certainly hope not. I'm not a big fan of the white-is-for-virgins symbolism thing, but black? Really? It's a wedding, not a depression party.
40) Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Have you ever...been a person?
41) Favorite Muppets character?
Gonzo.