Comments | pyromatique: {#CALL #TXT MSG #EMAIL #VOICEMAIL}

pyromatique

{#CALL #TXT MSG #EMAIL #VOICEMAIL}

Mar 27, 2030 09:01

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Comments 41

[text] immortaltwat May 29 2011, 17:56:47 UTC

Stole some sun glasses. Doing humanitarian work at the carousal if u want me.

Bono x

[text] pyromatique May 31 2011, 14:50:37 UTC

That the best you can do?

[text] immortaltwat May 31 2011, 15:06:21 UTC

I did try chaining my sex slave to the wall, but he got away before I could call you.

Boy George x

[text] pyromatique May 31 2011, 15:29:54 UTC

Real fucking cute. Now let's quit this redundant communication while we're ahead.

Thread 8

[text - forgot to specify, sorry! D:] immortaltwat June 2 2011, 12:17:42 UTC

It's okay. I have three nipples too.

Lily Allen x

text ][ AFSGDKLMAO never apologize ever! pyromatique June 2 2011, 12:30:18 UTC

For fucking waking me up, I'm gonna fucking burn one of your little freak nipples.

text ][ ffffff, I will refrain from apologies in future! XD immortaltwat June 2 2011, 12:34:18 UTC

Please don't. They're the only things that are keeping me famous. :(

Lily x

text ][ \o/ pyromatique June 2 2011, 12:43:53 UTC

I'm changing my number. You can quit texting me now.

Thread 7

[text] immortaltwat June 3 2011, 19:11:24 UTC

Your constant belittling of my hair has finally got too much. Shaved it off and got inked up. Please don't take my babies. I'm completely stable, I swear.

Britney Spears x

[text] immortaltwat June 3 2011, 19:11:44 UTC

Please excuse Britney. She's been totally unhinged ever since she left our weird religious cult.

Madonna x

[text] pyromatique June 4 2011, 10:55:17 UTC

When I find out where you live... you're dead.

[text] immortaltwat June 4 2011, 12:33:34 UTC

I hope you know I'm saving these for when I want you to lose your job.

Thread 10

[text - backdated to the wee hours of July 1st, before he's left] immortaltwat July 2 2011, 11:29:27 UTC

Dude, some yippie shithead totally stole the mike off me at Woodstock. I hope that fucker disappears and don't ever come back.

Pete Townshend x

pyromatique July 4 2011, 12:36:27 UTC

[ John's attempts to send a message back fails spectacularly. Either the asshole's changed his number or he's gone home.

Can't say he'll be missed. Adios, motherfucker. ]

[text] immortaltwat August 17 2011, 11:39:42 UTC

Vas sexually assaulted by some guy who vas a robot. It vasn't very nice. >[:(]

Some Guy From Kraftwerk x

[text] pyromatique August 22 2011, 13:07:54 UTC

Best news I've heard in years.

[text] immortaltwat August 29 2011, 21:55:27 UTC

[>(] I hope this is not how you treat all germans. The var vas not my fault.

Kraftwerk x

[text] pyromatique August 31 2011, 09:36:10 UTC

If I didn't find this the least bit amusing, I would have you roasted you by now. JSYK.

Thread 5