「108;」

[pyrotol]

passed the three month mark of not posting (publicly), which is a bit saddening considering how often i used to write. but i'm not dead, not really! i've just been posting a lot of private entries (mostly about a certain person) and writing by hand (mostly about religion) in a marble notebook which is starting to look suspiciously like something

Comments

[thrives]

I am kind of the same way with lj. I keep not posting, and for a while I kept posting mostly private, bleh.

A+ for Japan.

I had sort of wondered about your gender, to be honest. I mean, I knew your sex, but your gender didn't really seem to match it when I met you. I would love to hear more about it, derpderp. I'm here for you. <3

[pyrotol]

i have the habit of writing two-thirds of an entry and then leaving it in my drafts for weeks. when i finally get around to finishing it up and posting it, it's outdated and i have to start over;;;

:)))

thank you! :) yeah, my gender presentation is pretty much binarily male (which is probably what has led to the most complications here, haha). i'll probably end up making a more in-depth post eventually, once i figure out where to begin.

ALSO ALSO DID YOU GET YOUR PORTRAIT? just want to make sure it didn't get eaten by the postman or something.

[thrives]

Oh, DURR. I meant to let you know that I had. It's wonderful ;_;

[pyrotol]

YAYYYY

[missdeep]

Oh I'm so happy to hear you're in Japan and kicking ass! AND THAT TURTLE IS HARDCORE OMG LOOK AT IT.

If you are comfortable talking about more serious concerns in your LJ, I'm always willing to listen. I know I'm just an internet person but I do genuinely care about you and hope the changes in your life go smoothly.

[pyrotol]

[moonloop]

I always love hearing about others questioning their genders and end up outside the spectrum. I had a few issues with my gender but overall decided to be female and not queer. Even though I don't really like being female, the decision was ultimately made because the only reason why I feel this way is from low self esteem. I've learned so much about sex and gender being completely different and I'd like to hear more about your own view. :)

I discovered more of that stuff when I discovered I was asexual. I also hope your family is supportive and cares about you no matter what you think or feel about yourself. Families with children who have these thoughts feel like they failed but we all have to reassure them it's not their fault. My dad sort of feels like he failed me. He honestly believes I'm gay which I'm not. I just have no sexual attraction to anyone but to him, that's gay. idek. :( My mom is supportive though! Hope the same goes for you! :D

Also Kindles are awesome. *re-reading Battle Royale cause it's one of my favorites ahaha*

[pyrotol]

yeah, no matter how everything turns out, i'll always be grateful for the experience. it's really taught me a lot about gender identity and related issues, which tend to be taken for granted (both by cis and non-cispeople alike). i'll probably end up writing a more in-depth post eventually, once i figure out where to begin -- i'd love to discuss things in greater detail with you then. :)

i think my parents have tried their best to be supportive, but ultimately they can't seem to understand the complexity of it (especially since i'm not straightforwardly trans). to be honest, at the moment i'm not quite sure where i stand myself, so explaining to them has been pretty difficult. however, considering the fact that my parents are both evangelical protestant chinese immigrants with basically no previous exposure to any sort of gender/sexual nonconformity, they've taken the whole thing EXTREMELY well.

I AM IN LOVE WITH MY KINDLE. i have the 3g version, too, so i can get on the internet ANYWHERE. FOR FREE.

[everluxxe]

Aha, same here with the notebook thing; I've been experimentally writing from different POV and I'd be horrified if someone picked up my notebook by accident and read it...

I've seen your photos from Japan and am pretty envious! I hope you're having fun and learning a lot of kanji :P

I suppose there's no other way to phrase it differently from the previous commenters here, but I'm also willing to listen and have a conversation about gender. Quite a few things have changed since we actually sat down together to talk (about 8 or 9 years? wow), but I hope you can still trust me.

Serious tone aside, good luck! /hugs

[pyrotol]

oh man, if someone found my notebook...

but yeah, japan's been great so far! i've gotten pretty pro at cramming kanji, which is fine for quizzes but terrible in the long run;;;

wow, it really has been a while! i'll be writing a more in-depth post eventually, once i figure out where to begin, but i'd love to chat and catch up sometime! about gender or otherwise. :) thanks for your support!