Day 56

[q2lowtek]

So yes, here I am sitting at the church. Feeling generally begrudged. I think things with Jen and coming to an end, I don't see alot of feelings reciprocating and I am in too deep, deeper than she thinks and she doesn't seem to take things as serious as I do. Worrying about what she's doing and who she's doing are driving me insane. Panic attacks

Comments

[girlscoutreject]

sometimes i really dont understand you... it's like you LOOK for reasons to get mad at me. i mean... there i was with 3 girls. i was NOT alone!!!
but still. it's scary that you're so protective. and you know i hate that more than anything. i hate being controlled and i definitely hate it when people threaten me...
when you said 'its over' i took you seriously. i dont know if you were being serious or not but it seemed pretty straight forward and heartfelt. if you really dont want to be with me then i can't do anything about it. but i think that your reasoning is pretty random. i dont know. you can do what you want to do... i can't change your mind on how you feel about me. just know that i DO love you and i'm sorry if i made plans today. you knew about them and i tried my best to make you as happy as possible with the situation. sorry you're mad at me.
maybe we can talk about this face to face. no more of this internet shit.
i love you.
~Jen

Internot

[q2lowtek]

It hasnt seemed to matter whether we were face to face or talking on the net, because we're both stubborn. you feel perfectly justified doign what you do whether or not it will hurt me, or affect me. You've always been the type that acts first, and thinks about consequences later. the only thing that happens in person is that we see eachother and get mushy, less stubborn and frequently just avoid finishing a subject. its very confusing.

I dont act as quickly, but sometimes am careless. i think ahead of time before i say most things because i fear shoving my foot in my mouth.

Re: Internot

[q2lowtek]

lol. i guess in the end, i wasnt protective enough, either that or you didnt feel the way you SAID you felt about me.