you have to have some faith, everyone gets corrupted.
So, it's been a long time since I've even thought of writing in here, mainly because I've been busy, incredibly so. And discovered a new, non-hackable place to write my real secrets. Who needs to communicate? Either way, it's a bit on the practical side, and I need to, unfortunately, get some things off my chest that my head can't deal with until I write them down. If I can write them down. I need to be careful, I know this much. I'm meddling in places I don't belong I'm not in over my head. Not yet., and if this country had any kind of stable government, I could get caught. Luckily, it's mainly goats and peasants and revolutions. Heh. Not actually talking about Britain, shockingly.
But knowing these things. Learning these things. I'm forever thankful to some of the weird village wizards around these parts, as well as that little circle in Tirania. I'm doing historical research, really. Just with a little personal research attached. It's not like I intend to use it, but it's fascinating for knowladge's own sake. Not to mention, best to know it and defend yourself against it, than be baffled when it comes up. It's just a bit of an experiment. A bit of a dabble. To see what humanity is truly capable of. I also never realised there'd be so much cutting things open avaliable to me. It's a bit on the messy side, but I've gotten used to it. Still prefer clean magic.
I'm not doing anything wrong, per say. Those people at home which use magic like this (but not THIS magic, as I discovered it over here) to hurt people, for their own selfish ends. I'm using it for my selfish ends, but mine only require knowledge, no killing. The power of knowing how to do it is enough for me. I sincerely hope.
If it gets too much, too far, I can stop it. I'm still in control. And it feels brilliant and terrifying all in the same breath.
I'm in Tirania (that's Albania, people), one of the most dangerous and unstable cities/countries in Europe, and yet, I still feel safer than I do at home. There must be something to this. Maybe it's the getting news weeks after it's happened (it's Christmas today, right? I joke.) or maybe it's just because this war torn, revolutionary capital is safer. Think about that, you violent gits. Look what you've done to our country. I hope you're all happy with your killing and vigilantism.