Entry #01 - "Birthdays"
Title: Birthdays
Written By: motoredxheart
Timeline: Pre-show and pre-Ep-214
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence
Genre: pov gapfiller
Birthdays
Chapter 1- 1979
He had waited for this day to come all year. He kept a calendar his sister gave him for Christmas the previous year to mark off the dates and watched as the days slowly came to this one day. He opened his eyes, he didn’t want to sit to take even one second to rest. He sprung out of his bed, grabbed his bright blue robe off the floor and tied it around his waist.
“Brian breakfast I said!” His mother Joanie repeated from downstairs. Brian turned the corner jumping over his skateboard and flew down the stairs as fast as he could.
“What are we having? Pancakes with extra syrup and whipped cream right? With orange juice and some strawberries right Mom?” Brian beamed clapping his hands with excitement.
“Right Brian right, come sit down I’ll go and get your sister.” His mother threw her cigarette in a glass of water on the counter and plopped down Brian’s plate. The second the brown floral print plate hit the table Brian lunged at it with his fork, stuffing as many strawberries as he could into his mouth. “Brian slow down it’s not a race.”
“Sahwyr mhom,” Brian managed between bites.
“Hey Brian happy birthday.” Brian’s sister Claire yawned. She sat down at the table and grabbed her fork, “Are you having a party?”
Brian became restless at the thought, “At the pool! My friends are going to meet me there really soon.”
“Are you going Mom?”
“I don’t think so, I need to rest for a while,” she sighed.
“You’re not going anywhere are you Mom? You said we could…”
“No Brian just eat your breakfast,” she interrupted.
Brian stuffed another bite of pancakes in his mouth, smearing whipped cream all around the sides of his mouth.
“I remember my eighth birthday, Mom and Dad took me ice skating,” Claire leaned on her arm letting out a sigh.
“Really? I want to go!” Brian wailed before taking a gulp of his orange juice.
“You’re going swimming, maybe next year,” his Mom said lighting up another cigarette.
“Where is the birthday boy?” Brian’s Dad Jack asked as he entered the room.
“Right here Dad right here!” Brian smiled wiping the whipped cream off his face with the back of his hand.
“Happy birthday sonny boy,” he grinned patting his head. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down aside his son and daughter.
“It’s ten in the morning Jack,” she exclaimed glaring at the beer he opened.
“Lay off,” he yawned.
“You’re taking Brian swimming,” Brian’s Mom demanded throwing down his plate.
“Right,” he huffed taking a sip of his beer. “You ready to jump off the diving board yet?”
“Yeah Dad watch me, I’ve been practicing! I’m perfect you’ll see,” Brian smiled wiping his mouth with a napkin. His teeth were filled with tiny strawberry seeds and pulp from the orange juice.
Brian’s Mom glanced at Jack; she had stopped taking Brian months earlier when Brian screamed at the thought of having to even put his feet into the deep end.
“I believe it when I see it,” he laughed. “Two years of swimming lessons you better be able to.”
“Jack,” Joanie said in a warning tone.
“I’m going to go put on my bathing suit. Can we go now Dad, can we?” Brian pleaded.
“Wait a second wait, your mother wants to give you your present,” he said pushing Brian back in his chair. The chair slid back, startling him for a second before realizing he had said the magic word. “Present.”
“It’s from all of us, happy birthday,” his Mom said handing him a red gift wrapped box. Brian was ecstatic; he threw himself on the floor ripping the nicely wrapped paper to tiny shreds.
“Wow roller skates! Cool thanks!” Brian squealed. He wanted to them on right now forgetting about swimming all together.
“Not now Brian go change or you will be late to meet your friends,” his Mom said grabbing the skates from him.
“Oh yeah! Dad let’s go!”
“Go get dressed son,” his Dad urged.
Brian changed as fast as he could into his favorite swimming trunks, perfect for the occasion. He grabbed his beach towel, slid on his red flip flops, and grabbed the large red and white beach ball out of his closet. He shook it and giggled hearing the ocean water that had been left in it from last summer.
“Dad, I’m ready let’s go! Bye Mom!” Brian yelled opening the front door.
“Brian you stop right there,” his Dad exclaimed. “You don’t run out that door without one of us with you got it? Knowing my luck you’d get run over.”
“Okay Dad,” Brian nodded fumbling with the beach ball in his arms.
His Dad grabbed his keys out of his pocket and buckled Brian into the station wagon. As they arrived in the parking lot Brian couldn’t wait, all his friends were there waiting for him with so many presents he thought he was going to burst.
“Happy birthday!” His friends shouted as they walked to the fenced in pool.
“I’m going to go sit over there with the adults, if you need anything just yell okay?” His Dad muttered walking away, six-pack in hand.
“Okay Dad! Come on guys let’s jump in!” Brian leaped in without any hesitation.
He hadn’t had this much fun since his birthday last year. He finally learned how to swim, and he finally had friends that were allowed to come over and play.
His Dad got up and walked over to the deep end. “Sonny boy lets see you dive, c’mere.”
“Wait a second Dad!” Brian yelled spitting out some of the water in his mouth.
“No, now. I said come here,” crushing his fourth beer can. He tossed it behind him on the ground and folded his arms. All the parents stopped talking, watching, waiting to see what Brian would do.
“Um, okay Dad,” Brian hesitated. He got out of the pool and walked over, biting his lip nervously as he passed the parents gazing stares.
“Now come dive in and make your Dad proud,” he insisted patting Brian on the back.
Brian gulped, glancing at his friends in the shallow end. He slowly walked onto the board, edging closer and closer with every step.
“Look at my kid he’s gonna dive,” his Dad smiled, “go on Brian.”
Brian stared at the grate at the bottom of the pool. A small twig was stuck in it, being pulled from side to side. He turned to his Dad and then back to the water. He started to shake, he didn’t want to let his Dad down but he just couldn’t do it.
“Dad I can’t,” he yelped.
“What?”
“I can’t Dad…can I go play now?”
“No you can’t go play now,” Jack sneered. “You dive in that pool right now. I didn’t pay for lessons for you to be a little sissy boy!”
“Dad please,” Brian begged wiping the tears off his face.
“My son’s a sissy boy, I can’t believe this,” he screamed. “If you don’t jump we are going home you hear me?”
Brian looked at his friends covering there mouths, glancing back and forth at each other.
He stepped off the diving board and looked up at his Dad, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? You are sorry?” He grabbed Brian’s arm, pulling him inches away from his face, “you’re a loser Brian, a no good loser. Come on, let’s go home.”
“What about my presents?” Brian sobbed.
“They can give them to you later, you don’t deserve any presents today.”
Chapter 2- 1982
Brian laid on the couch fixated on the television screen. He grabbed a handful of Cheetos and stuffed them in his mouth, watching the newest Happy Days episode and wiping off the cheese remnants onto his faded denim jeans.
“Brian what are you doing?” Joanie sighed standing in front of the television.
“Watching TV, it’s not loud,” Brian stated leaning around her to see the screen.
“Your Dad should be home any minute…get up.”
“Fine I’ll go watch it in my room,” Brian groaned getting off the couch. He grabbed the bag of Cheetos and his can of root beer and stammered up the stairs.
“Brian?” He stopped and turned to face her. “I’m sorry your Dad missed your birthday. He’s been working a double shift you know. For you so we can get you that bike you wanted.”
“I know,” Brian nodded. “Goodnight Mom.”
“Eleven years old, what am I going to do with you?”
“Let me watch TV?” He asked as he walked up the stairs.
“Your new friend what’s his name…Michael? Michael’s mother called. Do you want to go to his house tomorrow?”
He ignored her letting out a deep sigh. He shut the door, locked it, and threw the bag of Cheetos on the floor. He leaned down and felt for the small television he had hidden under his bed. He stole it from his father the year before while working in his tool shed, and for some reason he had never really seemed to notice it was even missing.
An hour of reruns felt like days. Soon after the theme of Hart to Hart came on his father came home, banging around downstairs. Brian opened his door and walked over to the top stairs.
“Joan I’m fine I said. Just go to bed,” he yelled at Brian’s Mom.
“Jack today was Brian’s birthday, where were you?”
Brian sat on the top step glaring at his Dad stumble around the kitchen.
“Get off my back I worked a double today.” He pulled out a beer from the fridge, throwing the bottle cap on the floor. “So I went out afterwards with the guys, can’t I get a break?”
“You didn’t even say happy birthday, you could have at least called,” she said picking up the cap off the floor.
“He probably would’ve given me shit for not spending any time with him. I do everything for him and all I get is ‘Dad why did you miss my soccer game? Dad why didn’t you come pick me up at school?’ I don’t need any crap from a nine year old kid.”
“He’s eleven Jack. If you would bother to know your own kids you would know that!”
“If I what?” He yelled. “Did you just say I’m a bad father?”
Brian’s sister opened her bedroom door and sat down beside Brian on the stairs. She took his hand, squeezing it tight.
Jack walked over to her leaning in with a sinister grin. She shook her head furiously.
“Jack don’t,” she demanded. “Jack you’ll wake up the kids.”
“I’ve had a hard day I need to release some tension,” he smiled grabbing her wrists.
“I said no!” She yelled shoving him.
He looked at her in disbelief at first, then grabbed her and hit her hard across the cheek. She fell to the floor, Brian jumped in surprise. He had never seen his Dad act like this. Had he done it before? Why would he want to hurt her? He couldn’t do this to her, Brian knew he had to do something…
“Dad?” He said slowly walking down the stairs.
“Brian go to bed,” he warned picking Joanie off the floor.
“Dad leave her…leave her alone,” Brian stuttered.
“What are you going to do sonny boy?” he laughed, “go to bed I said.”
“I’m I’m not afraid of you!”
He laughed harder, pushing his Mom away from him and folding his arms.
“Come over here then, show me what you’ve got.”
“Brian go to bed,” his Mom pleaded wiping the fresh blood off her lip.
“Not without Mom,” Brian said walking towards Jack.
“Brian come here,” Claire cried. She grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs as hard as she could.
“But what about Mom?” He whispered.
“I can take care of myself. Mind yourself and go to bed,” she said as Claire shut his bedroom door shut in his face.
Chapter 3- 1986
“Finally, a chance to go to Sky Ride. I’ve been waiting for months to go! Our first amusement park built just outside of town and we are the last ones to even show up,” Michael exclaimed almost jumping up and down.
“Shut up Jack will hear you,” Brian whispered lighting up the joint in his hand. He opened the window letting the cool air seep through the room.
“Sorry,” Michael frowned, “so what did you tell him when you said you were coming with me and Mom?”
He let the smoke out through his nose and passed it to Michael, “I didn’t tell him. He won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“Lucky, I wish my Mom didn’t care.” Michael inhaled choking before taking a full hit.
“Yeah I am lucky,” he mumbled under his breath. “Don’t hog it.”
“Sorry,” Michael coughed handing it back to Brian. “Mom will be here in ten minutes, how are we going to act normal around her?”
“Why do we have to act anything? It’s my birthday, fuck her.”
“Brian!” Michael laughed.
“What? I’m the one turning fifteen not her,” he grinned. “Speaking of which where is my present? Holding out on me Novotny?”
“Definitely not. Hang on a sec.” Michael turned and leaned over the bed grabbing the present out of his bookbag. “Here.”
Brian took the small paper bag and laughed, “What the hell is this?”
“I don’t know how to wrap shut up,” Michael grinned sitting back down beside Brian. “Just open it jackass.”
Brian stuck the joint in an ashtray full of old cigarettes. He tore open the bag, hoping it was something better than he expected it to be. Inside was a video with a letter addressed to him.
“Don’t read the letter till later it’s really lame,” Michael blushed.
“Mikey I love it, how did you get it past Deb?” Brian asked reading the back of the box.
“My uncle Vic, I asked him to get something for you. He mailed it to me last week,” he shrugged.
“Have you watched it?”
“Are you kidding? The second I even tried to turn it on my Mom barged in…as usual,” he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t Dick with Dick. Dick, as in Richard Nixon? Michael this porn is like fifteen years old,” Brian laughed.
“It’s the best I could get!” Michael cried. Brian knew Michael couldn’t buy him anything that he really wanted, but just being able to take him away from his house for his birthday was enough for him.
Brian nodded and gave Michael a peck on the cheek. He felt under the bed for the hole he kept his porno mags and slipped it in. “We can watch it when we get back.”
“Brian get down here, now,” his Mom yelled.
“I’ll deal with the smell,” Michael said as Brian got up.
“Do you think if we got her a dog she wouldn’t treat me like one?” Brian laughed.
“Brian,” Michael sighed sympathetically.
“It would probably starve itself to death to get away from the old hag,” he grinned shutting the door.
He walked into the kitchen and jumped up onto the countertop. “Yes master?” He grabbed a pretzel and grinned, “Do I get a treat for obeying?”
“Brian get off the counter,” she groaned ignoring his comments. She smacked his leg out of the way and grabbed the pretzels putting them back in the pantry.
“Aren’t you going to say something mother? Do I look older today?”
“What are you talking about Brian? I don’t have time for your games I need you to help me move some boxes in the garage.”
“Michael and I are going out,” Brian jumped off the counter, “can’t you get Claire to do it?”
“Forget it, I ask for one thing from you, heaven forbid you help anyone but yourself.”
“That’s right, remember that next time,” he grinned. “Listen today is my birthday, I was wondering if I could have some money.”
“Brian don’t start with me.”
“Start what? I think it’s customary for a mother to give her son a gift on his date of birth, don’t you think? Or are we past the formalities of a family?”
“What did you say smartass?” Brian’s Dad asked walking into the kitchen.
“Nothing,” Brian mumbled. “It’s my birthday today.”
“Is it? Well I’ll be damned. How old?”
“Fifteen,” Brian said brushing his strainy brown hair behind his ears.
“What are you wanting to buy?” He asked grabbing his wallet out of his back pocket.
“I don’t know do I have to plan in advance?”
“How about we go bowling? Hit a couple of pins with the old man. What do you say?” Jack patted Brian’s shoulder as he threw his wallet onto the kitchen table.
“He’s going out with Michael,” Joanie stated stirring the spaghetti noodles on the stove.
“Michael? That white trash kid?”
“Leave him out of this,” Brian rolled his eyes.
“You’d rather hang out with some white trash than your father is that it?”
“Maybe it is, but since when what do you care?”
“Brian,” his Mom sighed.
“Don’t start with me Brian. I had a long day at work, I don’t need your shit,” he demanded pointing his finger in Brian’s face.
“How many times have I heard that one huh Jack? How many beers have you managed to back down today? Ten? Twelve? Rough estimate how about it?”
Michael’s mother banged on the horn, Brian turned to walk away.
“Don’t you walk away from me Brian I am not done with you.”
“Mikey get your stuff we’re out of here,” he yelled.
Suddenly unexpected Jack threw Brian up against the wall. His mother’s potted plants fell on the floor beside them, soil spilling into the cracks of the tiles.
“Jack stop it!” Joanie cried.
“You’re going to hit me like you do Mom? Go ahead, make sure you leave a mark,” Brian gasped trying to breathe.
Jack punched him hard in the gut, then let Brian fall to the ground. Brian coughed hard rubbing his neck at the same time trying to relieve some of the pain.
“Get out of here you disrespectful little ass.”
“Gladly.”
Brian pulled himself off the floor; glancing at his mother he saw her cupping her mouth with her hands in shock. He held onto his stomach as he heard Michael stomp down the stairs. Brian walked out of the kitchen over to the bottom step.
“Ready?” Michael asked ecstatic over finally leaving.
Brian didn’t answer; he let Michael out first and slammed the door behind him as hard as he could. Debbie jumped from inside the taxi, glancing at Michael and shaking her head. Michael turned to see Brian had stopped dead in his tracks.
“Brian? Forget something?” Michael asked confused.
Brian ran over to the bush closest to him and threw up, coughing hard. He leaned on the wall attempting to gain back control of his body. He didn’t expect what had happened, another mistake he was certain to never let happen again.
“God are you okay? Was it the weed?” Michael winced walked over placing his hand on Brian’s back.
“I’m fine, let’s get out of here.” He brushed Michael off and wiped his mouth, glancing down at the blood he had thrown up on the ground. He walked slowly behind Michael, clenching onto his ribs as they got into the car.
Chapter 4 - 1992
“That was incredible,” the boy smiled wide wiping the sweat off his forehead.
“Right, incredible,” Brian repeated pulling up his pants. Besides the loud-mouthed boy and Brian no one else had entered the bathroom in over twenty minutes. Suspicious, he opened the bathroom stall door peering around for any sign of life.
“I didn’t think I would have such great sex in the bathroom stall but boy was I wrong,” the boy laughed nervously.
Rolling his eyes he walked over to the bathroom sink to dry himself off. “How is it that I always manage to fuck the loud ones?”
“What?” The boy’s nose crinkled in confusion.
Brian ignored him, throwing the paper towels in the trash, then walked fast paced to the door, hoping he could manage a quick getaway.
“Wait…who are you?”
Brian paused for a minute, glancing up at the boy’s saddened face. “Doesn’t matter.” He opened the bathroom door and walked out into Woody’s bar, confused and a bit alarmed.
“Surprise!” His friends screamed jumping from behind the bar. “Happy birthday!”
Michael had managed to get the bar to clear out, Brian’s soccer teammates and closest friends were the only ones left.
“Right,” he nodded cursing himself in his head. He had no idea when Michael was going to burst into birthday mode, he should have known better.
Michael scurried across the room and gave him a monstrous hug, overexcited as if he hadn’t seen Brian in years.
“You’re going to pay for this,” Brian whispered in his ear as he let him go.
“I know you said not to do anything but I just had to. How many times can you celebrate your twenty-first birthday?” Michael asked enthusiastically.
Brian gritted his teeth, “I was hoping none.”
“Brian happy birthday!” Lindsey screamed with sheer excitement.
“I think I just lost hearing in my right ear,” Brian cringed plugging his ear. “I thought you said ‘birthday’s are against every artist’s vision of the future in the world.’” He mocked grabbing his beer he had left before going to the bathroom.
“I only said that so you would believe I wasn’t planning anything today,” Lindsey said wrapping her arm around his. “I’m a firm believer in birthday celebrations especially ones for crabby and dear friends like you. Soon to be a graduate, leaving me alone here to fend for myself.”
“I thought dykes don’t share there feelings.” Lindsey smacked him with her hand, then clung onto him tight.
“Think about all the free stuff you just got, that’s why I’m sure you love birthdays…everyone centered on you. Wait…every day is centered on you isn’t it?” Emmett laughed taking a sip of his peach margarita.
Brian smirked, “Emmett dear, go away.”
“You’re right he really does act like a child on his birthday,” Emmett nodded to Michael.
“Don’t listen to him he’s just jealous you went with that guy to the bathroom,” Michael whispered sitting next to Brian at the bar.
“You can have him,” Brian yelled over to Emmett, lighting up a cigarette. He glanced at the boy on the opposite side of the room kissing one of his teammates. The boy looked over hoping he would notice.
Emmett sighed sadly, “He’s too quick for me.”
“Me too.” Brian grabbed a bottle of scotch from the bartender and filled up an empty glass off the bar. He handed the glass to the bartender and held up the bottle in the air. “Happy fucking birthday.”
Michael carried Brian to his house, practically dragging him by his arms. “You’re not making this any easier you know.”
Michael maneuvered the door and Brian quickly before dropping him flat on the pavement.
“Michael? That you?” Debbie asked as they walked in.
“Yeah Ma I…”
Michael dropped Brian on the ground, hearing a yelp as he hit the floor.
“Shit sorry Brian!” Michael scooped him up and leaned him on the wall.
Brian’s eyes adjusted to see his father standing in the living room. He never changed; it made Brian feel even more sick than he’d already felt.
“Brian look who’s here,” Debbie managed with a fake grin.
“Brian you look like shit,” Jack laughed nervously fidgeting with his coat pocket.
“Come on Michael, I think they need some privacy,” Debbie encouraged taking Michael’s arm.
“Jack come sit, let’s chat,” Brian laughed.
“You doing okay in school? You passing at least?” Jack asked sitting on the recliner across from him.
Brian sat up, clearing his throat loudly, “What are you doing here?”
“I have to have a reason to see my boy on his birthday?”
“Actually yes,” Brian said biting his thumbnail.
Jack’s face went from amused to deep frustration in under a second. “Your mother wants to know you’re doing okay. We haven’t heard from you since you left for college.”
“That it?” Brian asked as he attempted to stand up.
“Don’t be an asshole. Your mother…she worries about you,” Jack pleaded.
“She should worry about herself,” Brian sighed.
“So you’re just a drunk now? What a way to grow up, you sure made a huge change in your life by going to that damn school.”
Brian grinned in amusement; he opened his mouth to say something but decided it would be pointless.
“Send Mom my love,” he said in a patronizing tone.
Jack sat up and walked over to him, his face inches away from Brian’s.
“I knew from the day you were born you were nothing but a loser. A mistake, a no good screwup. Today you proved me right.”
Brian looked down at the floor, brushing his fingers over his lips.
Jack stood in the doorway, “See you around sonny boy.”
Chapter 5- 1996
His desk was buried in poster boards, previously used ad campaigns, wadded up pieces of paper, and Chinese food boxes from lunch and the night before. He was determined to have the office that became available down the hall. He was tired of the tiny cubicle in the back of the building, no one knew it was there and as such no one would know just what he was capable of accomplishing for the company. He was just as good as everyone else, better than most he thought, and was ready to prove it.
“Brian you’re still here?”
Brian peered over his cubicle wall, glancing for a moment at his co-worker. “Still here.”
“Must be some idea you have. Good night.”
Brian didn’t answer, he went right back to working. He grabbed the charcoal pencil from behind his ear and crossed out another line he knew wouldn’t grab enough attention with his future client.
“Brian?”
Brian jumped, causing the pencil to fly across the paper. He grabbed the piece of paper, stood up ready to throw it. “Oh it’s you,” Brian stated throwing the wad of paper at Michael’s head.
“Nice to know I’m welcome,” Michael sighed. He walked over to Brian’s desk and leaned against it. “What are you working on?”
“A new airline,” Brian sighed propping his feet on his desk.
“You look like shit.”
“I missed you too,” Brian said flashing a grin. “Why don’t we save time and you just get right down to why you’re here?”
Michael cupped his face in his hands for what seemed to be hours. Brian soon realized Michael was silently crying.
“Michael?” Brian jumped out of his chair. He brushed his hand across his back as Michael began to bawl like a baby.
“Uncle Vic is in the hospital again,” he sniffed, “they think this is it.”
Brian grabbed Michael and took him in his arms. “Don’t believe what they tell you.”
Michael shook his head, brushing the tears off his cheeks. “You’re busy aren’t you? I should go.”
“Which hospital is he in?”
“Presbyterian Medical.”
“The one he was in before when…”
“Yeah,” Michael interrupted.
Brian held up his finger, “Give me one minute.”
He threw all his papers into his desk, grabbed his coat and scarf and took Michael’s hand. “Let’s go.”
He hated the smell of hospitals, especially the AIDS ward he always seemed to come in contact with. The sound of people throwing up, pulses beeping, television’s blaring, everything combined made him shiver in disgust.
For over an hour he sat with Michael in the waiting room, holding his hand and kissing his forehead every now and then to let him know everything would be okay.
“I’m sorry,” Michael stuttered.
“I don’t care,” Brian lied. Vic meant more to Michael than anyone Brian had in any of his family.
“Michael?” The nurse called.
Michael lept up wiping his tears on his sleeve. “Yes I’m Michael,” he sniffed.
“You can see him now.”
“What about Brian?” He turned to Brian.
“I’ll be here,” Brian nodded. He watched Michael turn down the hall barely able to move without bursting into tears.
Brian sighed, sitting back down he crossed one leg over the other. He looked down at his watch, hoping he might get one more chance to work on his ad campaign before morning.
“Brian?”
Brian chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, “Hi Mom.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Reading about…” his voice trailed off as he looked around. “The most common diseases in young adults.”
She nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to tell her. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” he hissed.
There was a long pause, Brian looked up at her, “You’re waiting for me to ask what you’re doing here aren’t you?”
“Of course not don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped.
Another long pause. Brian sighed, taking in a deep breath. “So Mom, what are you doing here?”
She glanced at the seat next to him, waiting for him to remove his coat from the chair. He rolled his eyes and set his coat on his lap.
“Your father was admitted last week, something wrong with his liver,” she sighed. “They don’t know what yet; they are taking some tests now.”
Brian covered his mouth, trying to think of a right thing to say.
“Where is Claire?” He managed.
“She left about an hour ago, bless her heart she’s been here the whole time,” she grinned. “Even when she’s eight months pregnant she thinks of her father.”
“Right,” Brian cackled, “So I guess you didn’t want to tell me?”
She closed her eyes, “I did…but your father asked me not to.”
Brian hunched over staring at the ground. “Why didn’t I see that coming?”
“Brian,” she sighed, “don’t start. You shouldn’t speak ill of him.”
Brian stood up wrapping his scarf around his neck, “Listen you tell him whatever you want about this, whatever it was, I have to get back to work.”
He began to walk away when she called out, “Happy birthday.”
Brian turned confused at what he heard, “What?”
“Your birthday, it’s today,” she explained. “Happy birthday.”
Chapter 6- 2002
He dreaded this day every year since he could remember. He would rip the page with the date off his planner at work, never forgetting, never wanting to remember. He opened his eyes and glanced over at the clock on his end table. It was still early, he knew any minute Michael would burst through the loft door and drag him off somewhere he would pretend to love to spare his best friend’s feelings.
He rolled over in his bed, throwing a pillow over his head and closings his eyes.
“Brian happy birthday!” Michael shouted. He pulled the sheet off him, then the pillow. “I can’t believe you’re not up yet it’s almost 7 at night.”
“Where have you been?”
“Out.”
“Where?”
“What the fuck do you care?”
“We had an agreement didn’t we?”
“Justin, I’m tired can we talk about this…well…never?”
“You know what? I don’t need this; I’m staying at Daphne’s tonight.”
“So you can braid each other’s hair and talk about boys?”
“Fuck you Brian. I’m tired.”
“Me too, come to bed.”
“I mean I’m tired of us. Just…don’t wait up.”
Brian didn’t want to get up, he didn’t want to get up and remember Justin hadn’t been in the loft in almost a week. “Some of us need more beauty rest than others.” Brian sighed sitting up. “Didn’t bring the children? I thought I had them for the weekend dear.”
“Come on get up Brian, or do I have to come back with reinforcements?”
“What kind of reinforcements?” Brian asked lighting a cigarette.
Michael folded his arms, tapping his foot in some kind of tempo he kept to himself.
“Keep your pants on. Well, on second thought,” Brian grinned pulling Michael onto the bed. Brian wrestled with him, poking him at all sides.
“Stop Brian cut it out!” Michael pleaded in a fit of laughter.
Brian let go, leaning back on the wall behind him. “Where is Benjamin? Off at school?”
“He’s at home,” Michael tilted his head towards Brian. “Where is Justin? Off at school?”
“You haven’t written, I was beginning to worry you were killed overseas. Who would take care of the children if I had to get a job?”
“I have to work.”
“So do I.”
“Then go.”
“I just wanted…”
“I have to work, you have to work. Our conversation is done.”
Brian blew out the smoke in Michael’s face with a devious grin. “I don’t know and I don’t care. He can do whoever and whatever he wants.”
“Whatever you say,” Michael grinned. “So thirty one, any plans this year?”
“How about finding new friends who appreciate that I don’t want to celebrate my birthday. Or remind me of my age while I’m at it.”
“And every year your wit becomes less and less charming,” Michael said sitting up. “We have to get moving come on.”
“Michael you know what I wish for my birthday? Peace and quiet. Let’s start now, get out.”
Michael rolled his eyes, leaping off the bed. “If I have to drag you out I will.”
“Promise?” Brian asked getting up from his bed.
“You’ll love it, trust me,” Michael smiled.
Brian walked into the bathroom lifting the toilet seat up. He turned his head to Michael, “Out of all the years we have been friends, do you remember one time where I said wanted any of it?”
Michael pouted, “What about that time we went to Sky Ride? That was so cool!” Michael tried to defend his birthday surprises as if they were the most important things in the world. “Or that time when we went to that strip club on your boss’s credit card and you got five lap dances in a row from that one hot guy. What was his name?”
“Six,” Brian said flushing the toilet.
“What?” Michael asked in confusion.
“It was six times, not five,” Brian said flashing a grin. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a blue Armani shirt. “I forgot about Sky Ride,” he lied, his voice trailing off. He began to remember like it was yesterday, if Michael only knew. He put on his shirt and grabbed his Gucci leather shoes he bought half price the week before.
“Do you remember when we got back you stayed at my house for a week,” Michael laughed.
“I forgot something at home and when I went there clothes were scattered everywhere. Going on a trip?”
“Maybe, would that make you jealous?”
“Definitely, since you took some of my clothes.”
“I was packing my things; I guess some of yours were with them. I’ll bring back anything I took.”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“I remember,” he muttered. “Let’s get this over with.”
“That’s the Brian I know and love!” Michael squealed taking Brian’s hand and leading him out into the cold Pittsburgh air.
Brian stopped; he glanced over at Michael in horror. “Seriously?”
A man was standing next to a black stretch limo, his arms folded impatiently. “In you go,” Michael laughed pushing him towards the driver.
“Yes in I definitely go,” Brian grinned staring at the driver. “Is this my present? Mikey you shouldn’t have.”
“Just get in the car,” Michael grinned. Brian got inside without hesitation looking around for any alcohol he could find. “I have to go meet Ben, have fun.”
As Michael began to walk away, Brian grabbed his arm, “You’re not coming?”
“No, not with you,” Michael joked kissing Brian on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”
The man shut the door, Brian let out a long sigh, partly in relief. He grabbed the bottle of champagne and stared at the driver as he got in the front seat.
“What’s your name?” Brian asked taking a chug of the champagne.
The driver looked at him in the mirror before closing the screen between him and Brian.
“How friendly,” Brian mumbled propping his feet up on the seat across from him.
Brian wasn’t curious by any means of where he was going or what was planned. He didn’t care why Michael wasn’t coming; in fact all he focused on was the bottles of champagne and how much he could drink before wherever the destination was going to be.
“You’re drunk Brian.”
“I’m fine.”
“You can’t drive home, I’ll go get Ted.”
“Fuck Ted. And fuck you.”
“Something’s wrong. Brian tell me. Are you okay?”
“Don’t. Don’t ask me that, my sister used to ask me that after my Dad…”
“Your Dad what? He what Brian? What did he do?”
“I’ll walk home.”
“Brian wait!”
The door opened letting a bright light seep throughout the inside of the limo. Brian cringed, covering his eyes with his hand. A hand came towards him, Brian hesitated before taking it.
“Brian Kinney, drunk and completely vulnerable. Never would have guessed,” Justin laughed shutting the door behind him.
He thought at first maybe he had become a little too drunk and was just imagining Justin there. Or maybe the bright light was heaven and he had died on the way to wherever the fuck he was going. He shook his head; he knew heaven was far from where he’d ever go.
Brian looked around, realizing he was on an airport runway. He wasn’t ready for whatever was about to happen.
“Why don’t we just go back to you being pissed off at me?” Brian insisted pulling Justin to the car.
“Brian,” Justin grinned, “look over there.”
A private plane was on the runway, the pilot held up a sign that read “Kinney.” Brian flashed a grin, “Michael got me a plane? How sweet he shouldn’t have.”
“The limo was Michael’s present, this is mine,” Justin said holding up Brian’s suitcase.
Brian shook his head, “Jus…”
Justin touched Brian’s lips with his fingertips. “I kind of guessed you hate birthdays. Judging from last year and the groan you give at the word…plus I talked to Michael, he told me some detailed stories.”
“So…”
“Let me finish,” Justin said interrupting him. “So I thought the perfect gift would be a weekend away from everyone. Alone. You told me you always wanted to go to Baja, so I managed a flight with some extra cash from the diner.
“You managed a flight on a private jet with money from the diner? Meaning you robbed the diner.”
“I asked my Mom for a little,” Justin went on, “Oh Lindsey and Melanie already paid for your hotel room, Deb made you a box of lemon bars for the flight, and Ted and Emmett gave you some spending money. Everything you need is in your suitcase ready to go.”
“The whole thing this week…”
“All bullshit. You were what, ten minutes past our agreed time? I may worry and act like my Mom sometimes, but I’m not an asshole,” Justin laughed.
“Right,” Brian nodded. He didn’t know what to say, he had managed to believe every word Justin had said.
Justin handed him his suitcase, patting his shoulder. “You may hate me now but I know in time…”
Brian interrupted him kissing him hard, Justin’s lips were warm and even more inviting with every passing second. Even though it had only been seven days since he had felt Justin near him, he missed him whether he wanted to admit it or not. He let go, letting out a sigh of relief. “How long again?”
Justin beamed, “Three days, all paid for.”
Brian nodded, “Good.” He gave Justin a peck, “Miss me while I’m gone.”
“I will, you know I will.”
Brian straightened his shirt and began walking towards the plane. He peered back at Justin, the light above shined on him making it impossible to look away. His blonde hair mixed with the light from the tower, causing a beautiful shade of white he had never seen. Justin stood there with a smile; he gave a small wave before folding his arms.
Brian stopped and dropped his suitcase to the ground. He cleared his throat; brushing his hand over his mouth in thought. He didn’t know if it was because he was excited to get out of town, the realization that his friends weren’t always dickwads, or the fact that Justin was the best thing that he could have asked for, but he wanted to risk it. More than anything.
He walked over to Justin, grabbing his hand. “Come on.”
“What?” Justin gasped.
“Come with me,” Brian snapped pulling him towards the plane.
“Brian stop,” Justin pleaded.
Brian pulled Justin close to him, “It’s my birthday don’t piss me off.”
“I don’t have any clothes.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem, I’m sure in the crazy world outside Pittsburgh they have stores that can provide some kind of suitable attire.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“I just received some from lovable Emmett and Theodore,” Brian said.
He hesitated, nervous at what he was about to admit. “I want you to come with me.”
Justin smiled wide, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck. “Brian Kinney loves me,” he teased.
“Are you fucking coming or not?” Brian asked brushing Justin off him.
“Yeah,” Justin nodded, “Yeah definitely.”
Brian grinned, “Good.” His birthday was finally a day he was ready to dive into, in all the right ways of the word. Although it terrified him to think Justin knew him so well, he was just ready to get the fuck out of there. And with him. He kissed Justin softly, taking his hand in his.
“What are you thinking?”
Brian closed his eyes, “You running naked down the beach, with one of those party hats and a little dollop of sunscreen on your nose.” Brian teased as Justin groaned.
“So you’re happy right?”
“Let’s get on the plane, I’ll show you how happy I am.”
“Brian Kinney loves me,” Justin repeated as they began walking.
Brian gave Justin a smile, squeezing his hand tight before letting go.
*******
The End
Written By: motoredxheart
Timeline: Pre-show and pre-Ep-214
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence
Genre: pov gapfiller
Birthdays
Chapter 1- 1979
He had waited for this day to come all year. He kept a calendar his sister gave him for Christmas the previous year to mark off the dates and watched as the days slowly came to this one day. He opened his eyes, he didn’t want to sit to take even one second to rest. He sprung out of his bed, grabbed his bright blue robe off the floor and tied it around his waist.
“Brian breakfast I said!” His mother Joanie repeated from downstairs. Brian turned the corner jumping over his skateboard and flew down the stairs as fast as he could.
“What are we having? Pancakes with extra syrup and whipped cream right? With orange juice and some strawberries right Mom?” Brian beamed clapping his hands with excitement.
“Right Brian right, come sit down I’ll go and get your sister.” His mother threw her cigarette in a glass of water on the counter and plopped down Brian’s plate. The second the brown floral print plate hit the table Brian lunged at it with his fork, stuffing as many strawberries as he could into his mouth. “Brian slow down it’s not a race.”
“Sahwyr mhom,” Brian managed between bites.
“Hey Brian happy birthday.” Brian’s sister Claire yawned. She sat down at the table and grabbed her fork, “Are you having a party?”
Brian became restless at the thought, “At the pool! My friends are going to meet me there really soon.”
“Are you going Mom?”
“I don’t think so, I need to rest for a while,” she sighed.
“You’re not going anywhere are you Mom? You said we could…”
“No Brian just eat your breakfast,” she interrupted.
Brian stuffed another bite of pancakes in his mouth, smearing whipped cream all around the sides of his mouth.
“I remember my eighth birthday, Mom and Dad took me ice skating,” Claire leaned on her arm letting out a sigh.
“Really? I want to go!” Brian wailed before taking a gulp of his orange juice.
“You’re going swimming, maybe next year,” his Mom said lighting up another cigarette.
“Where is the birthday boy?” Brian’s Dad Jack asked as he entered the room.
“Right here Dad right here!” Brian smiled wiping the whipped cream off his face with the back of his hand.
“Happy birthday sonny boy,” he grinned patting his head. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down aside his son and daughter.
“It’s ten in the morning Jack,” she exclaimed glaring at the beer he opened.
“Lay off,” he yawned.
“You’re taking Brian swimming,” Brian’s Mom demanded throwing down his plate.
“Right,” he huffed taking a sip of his beer. “You ready to jump off the diving board yet?”
“Yeah Dad watch me, I’ve been practicing! I’m perfect you’ll see,” Brian smiled wiping his mouth with a napkin. His teeth were filled with tiny strawberry seeds and pulp from the orange juice.
Brian’s Mom glanced at Jack; she had stopped taking Brian months earlier when Brian screamed at the thought of having to even put his feet into the deep end.
“I believe it when I see it,” he laughed. “Two years of swimming lessons you better be able to.”
“Jack,” Joanie said in a warning tone.
“I’m going to go put on my bathing suit. Can we go now Dad, can we?” Brian pleaded.
“Wait a second wait, your mother wants to give you your present,” he said pushing Brian back in his chair. The chair slid back, startling him for a second before realizing he had said the magic word. “Present.”
“It’s from all of us, happy birthday,” his Mom said handing him a red gift wrapped box. Brian was ecstatic; he threw himself on the floor ripping the nicely wrapped paper to tiny shreds.
“Wow roller skates! Cool thanks!” Brian squealed. He wanted to them on right now forgetting about swimming all together.
“Not now Brian go change or you will be late to meet your friends,” his Mom said grabbing the skates from him.
“Oh yeah! Dad let’s go!”
“Go get dressed son,” his Dad urged.
Brian changed as fast as he could into his favorite swimming trunks, perfect for the occasion. He grabbed his beach towel, slid on his red flip flops, and grabbed the large red and white beach ball out of his closet. He shook it and giggled hearing the ocean water that had been left in it from last summer.
“Dad, I’m ready let’s go! Bye Mom!” Brian yelled opening the front door.
“Brian you stop right there,” his Dad exclaimed. “You don’t run out that door without one of us with you got it? Knowing my luck you’d get run over.”
“Okay Dad,” Brian nodded fumbling with the beach ball in his arms.
His Dad grabbed his keys out of his pocket and buckled Brian into the station wagon. As they arrived in the parking lot Brian couldn’t wait, all his friends were there waiting for him with so many presents he thought he was going to burst.
“Happy birthday!” His friends shouted as they walked to the fenced in pool.
“I’m going to go sit over there with the adults, if you need anything just yell okay?” His Dad muttered walking away, six-pack in hand.
“Okay Dad! Come on guys let’s jump in!” Brian leaped in without any hesitation.
He hadn’t had this much fun since his birthday last year. He finally learned how to swim, and he finally had friends that were allowed to come over and play.
His Dad got up and walked over to the deep end. “Sonny boy lets see you dive, c’mere.”
“Wait a second Dad!” Brian yelled spitting out some of the water in his mouth.
“No, now. I said come here,” crushing his fourth beer can. He tossed it behind him on the ground and folded his arms. All the parents stopped talking, watching, waiting to see what Brian would do.
“Um, okay Dad,” Brian hesitated. He got out of the pool and walked over, biting his lip nervously as he passed the parents gazing stares.
“Now come dive in and make your Dad proud,” he insisted patting Brian on the back.
Brian gulped, glancing at his friends in the shallow end. He slowly walked onto the board, edging closer and closer with every step.
“Look at my kid he’s gonna dive,” his Dad smiled, “go on Brian.”
Brian stared at the grate at the bottom of the pool. A small twig was stuck in it, being pulled from side to side. He turned to his Dad and then back to the water. He started to shake, he didn’t want to let his Dad down but he just couldn’t do it.
“Dad I can’t,” he yelped.
“What?”
“I can’t Dad…can I go play now?”
“No you can’t go play now,” Jack sneered. “You dive in that pool right now. I didn’t pay for lessons for you to be a little sissy boy!”
“Dad please,” Brian begged wiping the tears off his face.
“My son’s a sissy boy, I can’t believe this,” he screamed. “If you don’t jump we are going home you hear me?”
Brian looked at his friends covering there mouths, glancing back and forth at each other.
He stepped off the diving board and looked up at his Dad, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? You are sorry?” He grabbed Brian’s arm, pulling him inches away from his face, “you’re a loser Brian, a no good loser. Come on, let’s go home.”
“What about my presents?” Brian sobbed.
“They can give them to you later, you don’t deserve any presents today.”
Chapter 2- 1982
Brian laid on the couch fixated on the television screen. He grabbed a handful of Cheetos and stuffed them in his mouth, watching the newest Happy Days episode and wiping off the cheese remnants onto his faded denim jeans.
“Brian what are you doing?” Joanie sighed standing in front of the television.
“Watching TV, it’s not loud,” Brian stated leaning around her to see the screen.
“Your Dad should be home any minute…get up.”
“Fine I’ll go watch it in my room,” Brian groaned getting off the couch. He grabbed the bag of Cheetos and his can of root beer and stammered up the stairs.
“Brian?” He stopped and turned to face her. “I’m sorry your Dad missed your birthday. He’s been working a double shift you know. For you so we can get you that bike you wanted.”
“I know,” Brian nodded. “Goodnight Mom.”
“Eleven years old, what am I going to do with you?”
“Let me watch TV?” He asked as he walked up the stairs.
“Your new friend what’s his name…Michael? Michael’s mother called. Do you want to go to his house tomorrow?”
He ignored her letting out a deep sigh. He shut the door, locked it, and threw the bag of Cheetos on the floor. He leaned down and felt for the small television he had hidden under his bed. He stole it from his father the year before while working in his tool shed, and for some reason he had never really seemed to notice it was even missing.
An hour of reruns felt like days. Soon after the theme of Hart to Hart came on his father came home, banging around downstairs. Brian opened his door and walked over to the top stairs.
“Joan I’m fine I said. Just go to bed,” he yelled at Brian’s Mom.
“Jack today was Brian’s birthday, where were you?”
Brian sat on the top step glaring at his Dad stumble around the kitchen.
“Get off my back I worked a double today.” He pulled out a beer from the fridge, throwing the bottle cap on the floor. “So I went out afterwards with the guys, can’t I get a break?”
“You didn’t even say happy birthday, you could have at least called,” she said picking up the cap off the floor.
“He probably would’ve given me shit for not spending any time with him. I do everything for him and all I get is ‘Dad why did you miss my soccer game? Dad why didn’t you come pick me up at school?’ I don’t need any crap from a nine year old kid.”
“He’s eleven Jack. If you would bother to know your own kids you would know that!”
“If I what?” He yelled. “Did you just say I’m a bad father?”
Brian’s sister opened her bedroom door and sat down beside Brian on the stairs. She took his hand, squeezing it tight.
Jack walked over to her leaning in with a sinister grin. She shook her head furiously.
“Jack don’t,” she demanded. “Jack you’ll wake up the kids.”
“I’ve had a hard day I need to release some tension,” he smiled grabbing her wrists.
“I said no!” She yelled shoving him.
He looked at her in disbelief at first, then grabbed her and hit her hard across the cheek. She fell to the floor, Brian jumped in surprise. He had never seen his Dad act like this. Had he done it before? Why would he want to hurt her? He couldn’t do this to her, Brian knew he had to do something…
“Dad?” He said slowly walking down the stairs.
“Brian go to bed,” he warned picking Joanie off the floor.
“Dad leave her…leave her alone,” Brian stuttered.
“What are you going to do sonny boy?” he laughed, “go to bed I said.”
“I’m I’m not afraid of you!”
He laughed harder, pushing his Mom away from him and folding his arms.
“Come over here then, show me what you’ve got.”
“Brian go to bed,” his Mom pleaded wiping the fresh blood off her lip.
“Not without Mom,” Brian said walking towards Jack.
“Brian come here,” Claire cried. She grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs as hard as she could.
“But what about Mom?” He whispered.
“I can take care of myself. Mind yourself and go to bed,” she said as Claire shut his bedroom door shut in his face.
Chapter 3- 1986
“Finally, a chance to go to Sky Ride. I’ve been waiting for months to go! Our first amusement park built just outside of town and we are the last ones to even show up,” Michael exclaimed almost jumping up and down.
“Shut up Jack will hear you,” Brian whispered lighting up the joint in his hand. He opened the window letting the cool air seep through the room.
“Sorry,” Michael frowned, “so what did you tell him when you said you were coming with me and Mom?”
He let the smoke out through his nose and passed it to Michael, “I didn’t tell him. He won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“Lucky, I wish my Mom didn’t care.” Michael inhaled choking before taking a full hit.
“Yeah I am lucky,” he mumbled under his breath. “Don’t hog it.”
“Sorry,” Michael coughed handing it back to Brian. “Mom will be here in ten minutes, how are we going to act normal around her?”
“Why do we have to act anything? It’s my birthday, fuck her.”
“Brian!” Michael laughed.
“What? I’m the one turning fifteen not her,” he grinned. “Speaking of which where is my present? Holding out on me Novotny?”
“Definitely not. Hang on a sec.” Michael turned and leaned over the bed grabbing the present out of his bookbag. “Here.”
Brian took the small paper bag and laughed, “What the hell is this?”
“I don’t know how to wrap shut up,” Michael grinned sitting back down beside Brian. “Just open it jackass.”
Brian stuck the joint in an ashtray full of old cigarettes. He tore open the bag, hoping it was something better than he expected it to be. Inside was a video with a letter addressed to him.
“Don’t read the letter till later it’s really lame,” Michael blushed.
“Mikey I love it, how did you get it past Deb?” Brian asked reading the back of the box.
“My uncle Vic, I asked him to get something for you. He mailed it to me last week,” he shrugged.
“Have you watched it?”
“Are you kidding? The second I even tried to turn it on my Mom barged in…as usual,” he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t Dick with Dick. Dick, as in Richard Nixon? Michael this porn is like fifteen years old,” Brian laughed.
“It’s the best I could get!” Michael cried. Brian knew Michael couldn’t buy him anything that he really wanted, but just being able to take him away from his house for his birthday was enough for him.
Brian nodded and gave Michael a peck on the cheek. He felt under the bed for the hole he kept his porno mags and slipped it in. “We can watch it when we get back.”
“Brian get down here, now,” his Mom yelled.
“I’ll deal with the smell,” Michael said as Brian got up.
“Do you think if we got her a dog she wouldn’t treat me like one?” Brian laughed.
“Brian,” Michael sighed sympathetically.
“It would probably starve itself to death to get away from the old hag,” he grinned shutting the door.
He walked into the kitchen and jumped up onto the countertop. “Yes master?” He grabbed a pretzel and grinned, “Do I get a treat for obeying?”
“Brian get off the counter,” she groaned ignoring his comments. She smacked his leg out of the way and grabbed the pretzels putting them back in the pantry.
“Aren’t you going to say something mother? Do I look older today?”
“What are you talking about Brian? I don’t have time for your games I need you to help me move some boxes in the garage.”
“Michael and I are going out,” Brian jumped off the counter, “can’t you get Claire to do it?”
“Forget it, I ask for one thing from you, heaven forbid you help anyone but yourself.”
“That’s right, remember that next time,” he grinned. “Listen today is my birthday, I was wondering if I could have some money.”
“Brian don’t start with me.”
“Start what? I think it’s customary for a mother to give her son a gift on his date of birth, don’t you think? Or are we past the formalities of a family?”
“What did you say smartass?” Brian’s Dad asked walking into the kitchen.
“Nothing,” Brian mumbled. “It’s my birthday today.”
“Is it? Well I’ll be damned. How old?”
“Fifteen,” Brian said brushing his strainy brown hair behind his ears.
“What are you wanting to buy?” He asked grabbing his wallet out of his back pocket.
“I don’t know do I have to plan in advance?”
“How about we go bowling? Hit a couple of pins with the old man. What do you say?” Jack patted Brian’s shoulder as he threw his wallet onto the kitchen table.
“He’s going out with Michael,” Joanie stated stirring the spaghetti noodles on the stove.
“Michael? That white trash kid?”
“Leave him out of this,” Brian rolled his eyes.
“You’d rather hang out with some white trash than your father is that it?”
“Maybe it is, but since when what do you care?”
“Brian,” his Mom sighed.
“Don’t start with me Brian. I had a long day at work, I don’t need your shit,” he demanded pointing his finger in Brian’s face.
“How many times have I heard that one huh Jack? How many beers have you managed to back down today? Ten? Twelve? Rough estimate how about it?”
Michael’s mother banged on the horn, Brian turned to walk away.
“Don’t you walk away from me Brian I am not done with you.”
“Mikey get your stuff we’re out of here,” he yelled.
Suddenly unexpected Jack threw Brian up against the wall. His mother’s potted plants fell on the floor beside them, soil spilling into the cracks of the tiles.
“Jack stop it!” Joanie cried.
“You’re going to hit me like you do Mom? Go ahead, make sure you leave a mark,” Brian gasped trying to breathe.
Jack punched him hard in the gut, then let Brian fall to the ground. Brian coughed hard rubbing his neck at the same time trying to relieve some of the pain.
“Get out of here you disrespectful little ass.”
“Gladly.”
Brian pulled himself off the floor; glancing at his mother he saw her cupping her mouth with her hands in shock. He held onto his stomach as he heard Michael stomp down the stairs. Brian walked out of the kitchen over to the bottom step.
“Ready?” Michael asked ecstatic over finally leaving.
Brian didn’t answer; he let Michael out first and slammed the door behind him as hard as he could. Debbie jumped from inside the taxi, glancing at Michael and shaking her head. Michael turned to see Brian had stopped dead in his tracks.
“Brian? Forget something?” Michael asked confused.
Brian ran over to the bush closest to him and threw up, coughing hard. He leaned on the wall attempting to gain back control of his body. He didn’t expect what had happened, another mistake he was certain to never let happen again.
“God are you okay? Was it the weed?” Michael winced walked over placing his hand on Brian’s back.
“I’m fine, let’s get out of here.” He brushed Michael off and wiped his mouth, glancing down at the blood he had thrown up on the ground. He walked slowly behind Michael, clenching onto his ribs as they got into the car.
Chapter 4 - 1992
“That was incredible,” the boy smiled wide wiping the sweat off his forehead.
“Right, incredible,” Brian repeated pulling up his pants. Besides the loud-mouthed boy and Brian no one else had entered the bathroom in over twenty minutes. Suspicious, he opened the bathroom stall door peering around for any sign of life.
“I didn’t think I would have such great sex in the bathroom stall but boy was I wrong,” the boy laughed nervously.
Rolling his eyes he walked over to the bathroom sink to dry himself off. “How is it that I always manage to fuck the loud ones?”
“What?” The boy’s nose crinkled in confusion.
Brian ignored him, throwing the paper towels in the trash, then walked fast paced to the door, hoping he could manage a quick getaway.
“Wait…who are you?”
Brian paused for a minute, glancing up at the boy’s saddened face. “Doesn’t matter.” He opened the bathroom door and walked out into Woody’s bar, confused and a bit alarmed.
“Surprise!” His friends screamed jumping from behind the bar. “Happy birthday!”
Michael had managed to get the bar to clear out, Brian’s soccer teammates and closest friends were the only ones left.
“Right,” he nodded cursing himself in his head. He had no idea when Michael was going to burst into birthday mode, he should have known better.
Michael scurried across the room and gave him a monstrous hug, overexcited as if he hadn’t seen Brian in years.
“You’re going to pay for this,” Brian whispered in his ear as he let him go.
“I know you said not to do anything but I just had to. How many times can you celebrate your twenty-first birthday?” Michael asked enthusiastically.
Brian gritted his teeth, “I was hoping none.”
“Brian happy birthday!” Lindsey screamed with sheer excitement.
“I think I just lost hearing in my right ear,” Brian cringed plugging his ear. “I thought you said ‘birthday’s are against every artist’s vision of the future in the world.’” He mocked grabbing his beer he had left before going to the bathroom.
“I only said that so you would believe I wasn’t planning anything today,” Lindsey said wrapping her arm around his. “I’m a firm believer in birthday celebrations especially ones for crabby and dear friends like you. Soon to be a graduate, leaving me alone here to fend for myself.”
“I thought dykes don’t share there feelings.” Lindsey smacked him with her hand, then clung onto him tight.
“Think about all the free stuff you just got, that’s why I’m sure you love birthdays…everyone centered on you. Wait…every day is centered on you isn’t it?” Emmett laughed taking a sip of his peach margarita.
Brian smirked, “Emmett dear, go away.”
“You’re right he really does act like a child on his birthday,” Emmett nodded to Michael.
“Don’t listen to him he’s just jealous you went with that guy to the bathroom,” Michael whispered sitting next to Brian at the bar.
“You can have him,” Brian yelled over to Emmett, lighting up a cigarette. He glanced at the boy on the opposite side of the room kissing one of his teammates. The boy looked over hoping he would notice.
Emmett sighed sadly, “He’s too quick for me.”
“Me too.” Brian grabbed a bottle of scotch from the bartender and filled up an empty glass off the bar. He handed the glass to the bartender and held up the bottle in the air. “Happy fucking birthday.”
Michael carried Brian to his house, practically dragging him by his arms. “You’re not making this any easier you know.”
Michael maneuvered the door and Brian quickly before dropping him flat on the pavement.
“Michael? That you?” Debbie asked as they walked in.
“Yeah Ma I…”
Michael dropped Brian on the ground, hearing a yelp as he hit the floor.
“Shit sorry Brian!” Michael scooped him up and leaned him on the wall.
Brian’s eyes adjusted to see his father standing in the living room. He never changed; it made Brian feel even more sick than he’d already felt.
“Brian look who’s here,” Debbie managed with a fake grin.
“Brian you look like shit,” Jack laughed nervously fidgeting with his coat pocket.
“Come on Michael, I think they need some privacy,” Debbie encouraged taking Michael’s arm.
“Jack come sit, let’s chat,” Brian laughed.
“You doing okay in school? You passing at least?” Jack asked sitting on the recliner across from him.
Brian sat up, clearing his throat loudly, “What are you doing here?”
“I have to have a reason to see my boy on his birthday?”
“Actually yes,” Brian said biting his thumbnail.
Jack’s face went from amused to deep frustration in under a second. “Your mother wants to know you’re doing okay. We haven’t heard from you since you left for college.”
“That it?” Brian asked as he attempted to stand up.
“Don’t be an asshole. Your mother…she worries about you,” Jack pleaded.
“She should worry about herself,” Brian sighed.
“So you’re just a drunk now? What a way to grow up, you sure made a huge change in your life by going to that damn school.”
Brian grinned in amusement; he opened his mouth to say something but decided it would be pointless.
“Send Mom my love,” he said in a patronizing tone.
Jack sat up and walked over to him, his face inches away from Brian’s.
“I knew from the day you were born you were nothing but a loser. A mistake, a no good screwup. Today you proved me right.”
Brian looked down at the floor, brushing his fingers over his lips.
Jack stood in the doorway, “See you around sonny boy.”
Chapter 5- 1996
His desk was buried in poster boards, previously used ad campaigns, wadded up pieces of paper, and Chinese food boxes from lunch and the night before. He was determined to have the office that became available down the hall. He was tired of the tiny cubicle in the back of the building, no one knew it was there and as such no one would know just what he was capable of accomplishing for the company. He was just as good as everyone else, better than most he thought, and was ready to prove it.
“Brian you’re still here?”
Brian peered over his cubicle wall, glancing for a moment at his co-worker. “Still here.”
“Must be some idea you have. Good night.”
Brian didn’t answer, he went right back to working. He grabbed the charcoal pencil from behind his ear and crossed out another line he knew wouldn’t grab enough attention with his future client.
“Brian?”
Brian jumped, causing the pencil to fly across the paper. He grabbed the piece of paper, stood up ready to throw it. “Oh it’s you,” Brian stated throwing the wad of paper at Michael’s head.
“Nice to know I’m welcome,” Michael sighed. He walked over to Brian’s desk and leaned against it. “What are you working on?”
“A new airline,” Brian sighed propping his feet on his desk.
“You look like shit.”
“I missed you too,” Brian said flashing a grin. “Why don’t we save time and you just get right down to why you’re here?”
Michael cupped his face in his hands for what seemed to be hours. Brian soon realized Michael was silently crying.
“Michael?” Brian jumped out of his chair. He brushed his hand across his back as Michael began to bawl like a baby.
“Uncle Vic is in the hospital again,” he sniffed, “they think this is it.”
Brian grabbed Michael and took him in his arms. “Don’t believe what they tell you.”
Michael shook his head, brushing the tears off his cheeks. “You’re busy aren’t you? I should go.”
“Which hospital is he in?”
“Presbyterian Medical.”
“The one he was in before when…”
“Yeah,” Michael interrupted.
Brian held up his finger, “Give me one minute.”
He threw all his papers into his desk, grabbed his coat and scarf and took Michael’s hand. “Let’s go.”
He hated the smell of hospitals, especially the AIDS ward he always seemed to come in contact with. The sound of people throwing up, pulses beeping, television’s blaring, everything combined made him shiver in disgust.
For over an hour he sat with Michael in the waiting room, holding his hand and kissing his forehead every now and then to let him know everything would be okay.
“I’m sorry,” Michael stuttered.
“I don’t care,” Brian lied. Vic meant more to Michael than anyone Brian had in any of his family.
“Michael?” The nurse called.
Michael lept up wiping his tears on his sleeve. “Yes I’m Michael,” he sniffed.
“You can see him now.”
“What about Brian?” He turned to Brian.
“I’ll be here,” Brian nodded. He watched Michael turn down the hall barely able to move without bursting into tears.
Brian sighed, sitting back down he crossed one leg over the other. He looked down at his watch, hoping he might get one more chance to work on his ad campaign before morning.
“Brian?”
Brian chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, “Hi Mom.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Reading about…” his voice trailed off as he looked around. “The most common diseases in young adults.”
She nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to tell her. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” he hissed.
There was a long pause, Brian looked up at her, “You’re waiting for me to ask what you’re doing here aren’t you?”
“Of course not don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped.
Another long pause. Brian sighed, taking in a deep breath. “So Mom, what are you doing here?”
She glanced at the seat next to him, waiting for him to remove his coat from the chair. He rolled his eyes and set his coat on his lap.
“Your father was admitted last week, something wrong with his liver,” she sighed. “They don’t know what yet; they are taking some tests now.”
Brian covered his mouth, trying to think of a right thing to say.
“Where is Claire?” He managed.
“She left about an hour ago, bless her heart she’s been here the whole time,” she grinned. “Even when she’s eight months pregnant she thinks of her father.”
“Right,” Brian cackled, “So I guess you didn’t want to tell me?”
She closed her eyes, “I did…but your father asked me not to.”
Brian hunched over staring at the ground. “Why didn’t I see that coming?”
“Brian,” she sighed, “don’t start. You shouldn’t speak ill of him.”
Brian stood up wrapping his scarf around his neck, “Listen you tell him whatever you want about this, whatever it was, I have to get back to work.”
He began to walk away when she called out, “Happy birthday.”
Brian turned confused at what he heard, “What?”
“Your birthday, it’s today,” she explained. “Happy birthday.”
Chapter 6- 2002
He dreaded this day every year since he could remember. He would rip the page with the date off his planner at work, never forgetting, never wanting to remember. He opened his eyes and glanced over at the clock on his end table. It was still early, he knew any minute Michael would burst through the loft door and drag him off somewhere he would pretend to love to spare his best friend’s feelings.
He rolled over in his bed, throwing a pillow over his head and closings his eyes.
“Brian happy birthday!” Michael shouted. He pulled the sheet off him, then the pillow. “I can’t believe you’re not up yet it’s almost 7 at night.”
“Where have you been?”
“Out.”
“Where?”
“What the fuck do you care?”
“We had an agreement didn’t we?”
“Justin, I’m tired can we talk about this…well…never?”
“You know what? I don’t need this; I’m staying at Daphne’s tonight.”
“So you can braid each other’s hair and talk about boys?”
“Fuck you Brian. I’m tired.”
“Me too, come to bed.”
“I mean I’m tired of us. Just…don’t wait up.”
Brian didn’t want to get up, he didn’t want to get up and remember Justin hadn’t been in the loft in almost a week. “Some of us need more beauty rest than others.” Brian sighed sitting up. “Didn’t bring the children? I thought I had them for the weekend dear.”
“Come on get up Brian, or do I have to come back with reinforcements?”
“What kind of reinforcements?” Brian asked lighting a cigarette.
Michael folded his arms, tapping his foot in some kind of tempo he kept to himself.
“Keep your pants on. Well, on second thought,” Brian grinned pulling Michael onto the bed. Brian wrestled with him, poking him at all sides.
“Stop Brian cut it out!” Michael pleaded in a fit of laughter.
Brian let go, leaning back on the wall behind him. “Where is Benjamin? Off at school?”
“He’s at home,” Michael tilted his head towards Brian. “Where is Justin? Off at school?”
“You haven’t written, I was beginning to worry you were killed overseas. Who would take care of the children if I had to get a job?”
“I have to work.”
“So do I.”
“Then go.”
“I just wanted…”
“I have to work, you have to work. Our conversation is done.”
Brian blew out the smoke in Michael’s face with a devious grin. “I don’t know and I don’t care. He can do whoever and whatever he wants.”
“Whatever you say,” Michael grinned. “So thirty one, any plans this year?”
“How about finding new friends who appreciate that I don’t want to celebrate my birthday. Or remind me of my age while I’m at it.”
“And every year your wit becomes less and less charming,” Michael said sitting up. “We have to get moving come on.”
“Michael you know what I wish for my birthday? Peace and quiet. Let’s start now, get out.”
Michael rolled his eyes, leaping off the bed. “If I have to drag you out I will.”
“Promise?” Brian asked getting up from his bed.
“You’ll love it, trust me,” Michael smiled.
Brian walked into the bathroom lifting the toilet seat up. He turned his head to Michael, “Out of all the years we have been friends, do you remember one time where I said wanted any of it?”
Michael pouted, “What about that time we went to Sky Ride? That was so cool!” Michael tried to defend his birthday surprises as if they were the most important things in the world. “Or that time when we went to that strip club on your boss’s credit card and you got five lap dances in a row from that one hot guy. What was his name?”
“Six,” Brian said flushing the toilet.
“What?” Michael asked in confusion.
“It was six times, not five,” Brian said flashing a grin. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a blue Armani shirt. “I forgot about Sky Ride,” he lied, his voice trailing off. He began to remember like it was yesterday, if Michael only knew. He put on his shirt and grabbed his Gucci leather shoes he bought half price the week before.
“Do you remember when we got back you stayed at my house for a week,” Michael laughed.
“I forgot something at home and when I went there clothes were scattered everywhere. Going on a trip?”
“Maybe, would that make you jealous?”
“Definitely, since you took some of my clothes.”
“I was packing my things; I guess some of yours were with them. I’ll bring back anything I took.”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“I remember,” he muttered. “Let’s get this over with.”
“That’s the Brian I know and love!” Michael squealed taking Brian’s hand and leading him out into the cold Pittsburgh air.
Brian stopped; he glanced over at Michael in horror. “Seriously?”
A man was standing next to a black stretch limo, his arms folded impatiently. “In you go,” Michael laughed pushing him towards the driver.
“Yes in I definitely go,” Brian grinned staring at the driver. “Is this my present? Mikey you shouldn’t have.”
“Just get in the car,” Michael grinned. Brian got inside without hesitation looking around for any alcohol he could find. “I have to go meet Ben, have fun.”
As Michael began to walk away, Brian grabbed his arm, “You’re not coming?”
“No, not with you,” Michael joked kissing Brian on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”
The man shut the door, Brian let out a long sigh, partly in relief. He grabbed the bottle of champagne and stared at the driver as he got in the front seat.
“What’s your name?” Brian asked taking a chug of the champagne.
The driver looked at him in the mirror before closing the screen between him and Brian.
“How friendly,” Brian mumbled propping his feet up on the seat across from him.
Brian wasn’t curious by any means of where he was going or what was planned. He didn’t care why Michael wasn’t coming; in fact all he focused on was the bottles of champagne and how much he could drink before wherever the destination was going to be.
“You’re drunk Brian.”
“I’m fine.”
“You can’t drive home, I’ll go get Ted.”
“Fuck Ted. And fuck you.”
“Something’s wrong. Brian tell me. Are you okay?”
“Don’t. Don’t ask me that, my sister used to ask me that after my Dad…”
“Your Dad what? He what Brian? What did he do?”
“I’ll walk home.”
“Brian wait!”
The door opened letting a bright light seep throughout the inside of the limo. Brian cringed, covering his eyes with his hand. A hand came towards him, Brian hesitated before taking it.
“Brian Kinney, drunk and completely vulnerable. Never would have guessed,” Justin laughed shutting the door behind him.
He thought at first maybe he had become a little too drunk and was just imagining Justin there. Or maybe the bright light was heaven and he had died on the way to wherever the fuck he was going. He shook his head; he knew heaven was far from where he’d ever go.
Brian looked around, realizing he was on an airport runway. He wasn’t ready for whatever was about to happen.
“Why don’t we just go back to you being pissed off at me?” Brian insisted pulling Justin to the car.
“Brian,” Justin grinned, “look over there.”
A private plane was on the runway, the pilot held up a sign that read “Kinney.” Brian flashed a grin, “Michael got me a plane? How sweet he shouldn’t have.”
“The limo was Michael’s present, this is mine,” Justin said holding up Brian’s suitcase.
Brian shook his head, “Jus…”
Justin touched Brian’s lips with his fingertips. “I kind of guessed you hate birthdays. Judging from last year and the groan you give at the word…plus I talked to Michael, he told me some detailed stories.”
“So…”
“Let me finish,” Justin said interrupting him. “So I thought the perfect gift would be a weekend away from everyone. Alone. You told me you always wanted to go to Baja, so I managed a flight with some extra cash from the diner.
“You managed a flight on a private jet with money from the diner? Meaning you robbed the diner.”
“I asked my Mom for a little,” Justin went on, “Oh Lindsey and Melanie already paid for your hotel room, Deb made you a box of lemon bars for the flight, and Ted and Emmett gave you some spending money. Everything you need is in your suitcase ready to go.”
“The whole thing this week…”
“All bullshit. You were what, ten minutes past our agreed time? I may worry and act like my Mom sometimes, but I’m not an asshole,” Justin laughed.
“Right,” Brian nodded. He didn’t know what to say, he had managed to believe every word Justin had said.
Justin handed him his suitcase, patting his shoulder. “You may hate me now but I know in time…”
Brian interrupted him kissing him hard, Justin’s lips were warm and even more inviting with every passing second. Even though it had only been seven days since he had felt Justin near him, he missed him whether he wanted to admit it or not. He let go, letting out a sigh of relief. “How long again?”
Justin beamed, “Three days, all paid for.”
Brian nodded, “Good.” He gave Justin a peck, “Miss me while I’m gone.”
“I will, you know I will.”
Brian straightened his shirt and began walking towards the plane. He peered back at Justin, the light above shined on him making it impossible to look away. His blonde hair mixed with the light from the tower, causing a beautiful shade of white he had never seen. Justin stood there with a smile; he gave a small wave before folding his arms.
Brian stopped and dropped his suitcase to the ground. He cleared his throat; brushing his hand over his mouth in thought. He didn’t know if it was because he was excited to get out of town, the realization that his friends weren’t always dickwads, or the fact that Justin was the best thing that he could have asked for, but he wanted to risk it. More than anything.
He walked over to Justin, grabbing his hand. “Come on.”
“What?” Justin gasped.
“Come with me,” Brian snapped pulling him towards the plane.
“Brian stop,” Justin pleaded.
Brian pulled Justin close to him, “It’s my birthday don’t piss me off.”
“I don’t have any clothes.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem, I’m sure in the crazy world outside Pittsburgh they have stores that can provide some kind of suitable attire.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“I just received some from lovable Emmett and Theodore,” Brian said.
He hesitated, nervous at what he was about to admit. “I want you to come with me.”
Justin smiled wide, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck. “Brian Kinney loves me,” he teased.
“Are you fucking coming or not?” Brian asked brushing Justin off him.
“Yeah,” Justin nodded, “Yeah definitely.”
Brian grinned, “Good.” His birthday was finally a day he was ready to dive into, in all the right ways of the word. Although it terrified him to think Justin knew him so well, he was just ready to get the fuck out of there. And with him. He kissed Justin softly, taking his hand in his.
“What are you thinking?”
Brian closed his eyes, “You running naked down the beach, with one of those party hats and a little dollop of sunscreen on your nose.” Brian teased as Justin groaned.
“So you’re happy right?”
“Let’s get on the plane, I’ll show you how happy I am.”
“Brian Kinney loves me,” Justin repeated as they began walking.
Brian gave Justin a smile, squeezing his hand tight before letting go.
*******
The End