Cubie wants to get sterilised
I went to see a doctor today. Dr Stephen Cook. He's the only doctor in Queensland who can perform Essure. He's an asshole.
He basically treated me like an idiot as soon as I got into the room, despite the fact that I explained to him my (medical) understanding of the procedure and risks and my (responsible, adult) reasons for wanting to be sterilised. He was condescending, and told me that he simply didn't want to do it because he'd decided I was too young. I almost lost it right there. I'd had a number of phone calls from this clinic confirming my information and appointment time, and they knew how old I was all along. I was starting to think he was just bringing me in to take my money and tell me no.
He said we should talk about it anyway (even though he'd already decided no, idk) and tried to tell me about the history of sterilisation (I know), the fact that it's more common to sterilise men nowadays (doesn't help me), and made jokes about the fact that it used to be mandatory for a woman to have her husband's permission to get sterilised (fuck him for thinking that's funny). I did my best to be polite, because I really, really want this procedure. I explained to him that I'm a danger to children, and that no-one vulnerable should ever be dependant on me. He said I could get an abortion! I asked if he would promise to perform an abortion, every time I needed one, no matter what the law said, until I hit menopause. He said no, surprise surprise.
Here's the thing: I have an issue with the fact that doctors are allowed to refuse treatment on a moral basis. Their morals, not the patients, obviously. I'm an adult, I am of relatively sound mind, and I know what I want. He kept trying to convince me to get Mirena instead because it's "more acceptable".
I said, "not to me, it's reversible. You mean it's acceptable to you."
He said, and I shit you not, "and to the rest of the population."
He said that.
I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE REST OF THE POPULATION THINKS IS ACCEPTABLE FOR MY UTERUS. I DO NOT. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE THINKS IS ACCEPTABLE FOR MY UTERUS. IT'S FUCKING MINE.
My decisions about my uterus will never affect anyone else, so no-one else needs to be involved in the decision-making process. Simple, right?
"Oh, but what about your partner???"
It honestly seemed to surprise him that I was making my own decisions about my internal organs, and didn't need my partner's permission to do so. He actually laughed when I said I didn't care if my partner wanted kids, he sure wasn't getting them from me. As though that was a joke, rather than a reasonable life choice.
In the end, he told me he would only consider it if I came back to see him again in a year and had private health insurance and had a referral from a psychologist or psychiatrist that they thought Essure was necessary for me. I do not need psychological counselling to make decisions about my own body.
Fuck him.
Editing to add more details that I remember, because this is my only written record if I decide to report: He also took two separate phone calls during our meeting, interrupting me without excusing himself until afterwards.
He basically treated me like an idiot as soon as I got into the room, despite the fact that I explained to him my (medical) understanding of the procedure and risks and my (responsible, adult) reasons for wanting to be sterilised. He was condescending, and told me that he simply didn't want to do it because he'd decided I was too young. I almost lost it right there. I'd had a number of phone calls from this clinic confirming my information and appointment time, and they knew how old I was all along. I was starting to think he was just bringing me in to take my money and tell me no.
He said we should talk about it anyway (even though he'd already decided no, idk) and tried to tell me about the history of sterilisation (I know), the fact that it's more common to sterilise men nowadays (doesn't help me), and made jokes about the fact that it used to be mandatory for a woman to have her husband's permission to get sterilised (fuck him for thinking that's funny). I did my best to be polite, because I really, really want this procedure. I explained to him that I'm a danger to children, and that no-one vulnerable should ever be dependant on me. He said I could get an abortion! I asked if he would promise to perform an abortion, every time I needed one, no matter what the law said, until I hit menopause. He said no, surprise surprise.
Here's the thing: I have an issue with the fact that doctors are allowed to refuse treatment on a moral basis. Their morals, not the patients, obviously. I'm an adult, I am of relatively sound mind, and I know what I want. He kept trying to convince me to get Mirena instead because it's "more acceptable".
I said, "not to me, it's reversible. You mean it's acceptable to you."
He said, and I shit you not, "and to the rest of the population."
He said that.
I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE REST OF THE POPULATION THINKS IS ACCEPTABLE FOR MY UTERUS. I DO NOT. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE THINKS IS ACCEPTABLE FOR MY UTERUS. IT'S FUCKING MINE.
My decisions about my uterus will never affect anyone else, so no-one else needs to be involved in the decision-making process. Simple, right?
"Oh, but what about your partner???"
It honestly seemed to surprise him that I was making my own decisions about my internal organs, and didn't need my partner's permission to do so. He actually laughed when I said I didn't care if my partner wanted kids, he sure wasn't getting them from me. As though that was a joke, rather than a reasonable life choice.
In the end, he told me he would only consider it if I came back to see him again in a year and had private health insurance and had a referral from a psychologist or psychiatrist that they thought Essure was necessary for me. I do not need psychological counselling to make decisions about my own body.
Fuck him.
Editing to add more details that I remember, because this is my only written record if I decide to report: He also took two separate phone calls during our meeting, interrupting me without excusing himself until afterwards.