No One Likes A Winner ( Read more... )

Strange goings on. Sometimes one just has to hole up in a dark mineshaft long forgotten by the straight and narrow and imbibe whatever one finds there. It's a form of abusive meditation and many stand by it. Clues you into the weird things scratching at the soft white underbelly (SWUB) of the bedrock reality normally beneath one's boots ( Read more... )

My friends surprised me the other day at our local bar and gave me a magnificent gift. I thought it would just be me and a few others but it turned out to be everyone I've ever appreciated, ever. They all had drinks in their hands and cheered when I walked in. After the initial shock and jostling of hugs and pats on the back they gave me a ( Read more... )

“Timmy, I want to tell you something.” It always started calmly and in the middle of the night. Timmy's father, Timothy wanted to gloat over the horrid things he'd done to his patients. Timmy didn't know exactly why his dad wanted to tell him confidential and private depravities, but understood that it was his duty as a son to listen. “Today, ( Read more... )

The East has fallen. The proud and stoic society that was to be the envy of the world, the leader of science and culture, the brightest star in the constellation of the planet's nation states has been undone in an astonishingly short amount of time. Never underestimate the power of paranoia, greed and fear to undo the great things of this world ( Read more... )

“Scuse me sir, I'm going door to door helping people eradicate quehog infestations. It costs 5 votes, I have to pay my parents to stop being grounded ( Read more... )

Quehog:
The Northish Ameridinian Quehog is unique in many ways. It tends to be attracted to the domiciles of drug users and the unstable. They range in size from 4 inches to 2 feet in diameter and are roughly round. Coloration is generally brownish but have been reported to be fuchsia and puce. Noticeable characteristics include the fact that ( Read more... )

Timmy
Life for Timmy has not been a typical life, but he hasn't known any other so he assumes it is about on par with everyone else's experience. He was born into an unhappy and profoundly dysfunctional relationship, but that's not what makes it strange, most people are the product of humanity's inherent unlikeliness to resemble the mean ( Read more... )

The Hick
EXTRA! Massive Invertebrate Horrorizes Local Gardeners!!!
Several housewives of solid and dependable repute have reported massive defoliation in carefully planned frontages and backyard herb gardens. "I've never seen any infestation like it before," gasped Mrs. Fenderplump, "Every single leaf in the neighborhood is gone, in one night. ( Read more... )

Yes ( Read more... )