discord (oneshot)

[qiguai]

Title: Discord
Pairing: Suhoon/Hyunmin
Genre: AU, romance
Word Count: 10885
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, drinking, non-explicit sexual content.
Summary: Suhoon says he hates doing what Hyunmin wants him to, but that's exactly what he ends up doing.
Notes: Originally a sequel to this fic, but it took on a life of its own and is written so that reading the other isn't necessary. Dedicated to kiparang, because she's been waiting half a year for this.



"Suhoon, could you go get Hyunmin?"

He nods, not bothering to look up at the teacher. A quick glance toward the door and he sighs, taking his time closing his notebook and getting out of his seat. He can feel the teacher's eyes on him as he slowly shuffles toward the door. He finds Hyunmin in the hall, where he left him, his sheet music stacked neatly in front of him on the window sill and his gaze fixed on the trees outside.

He's been like this for two weeks- dazed and quiet, the latter far more unusual and slightly worrying. Quick to snap, but always apologizing a second later, if Suhoon could call him anything, he'd say moody. However, Suhoon never felt sure he was in the position to ask Hyunmin what was wrong, especially since it seemed Suhoon was the one he avoided and caused him to snap the most often.

"Hey," he says quietly and for half a second he thinks Hyunmin doesn't hear him.

"What?" Hyunmin's eyes flicker to him for a moment before returning to rest on the sheet music.

"The teacher wants to see you." He shoves his hands into his pockets and resists the urge to walk up and smack Hyunmin with the way he's shifting just slightly away.

"About what?" Suhoon rolls his eyes, not that Hyunmin notices.

"I don't know. Probably about that solo you've been assigned for the graduation ceremony, but you refuse to practice." A laugh, just a small "heh," escapes Hyunmin's mouth along with a small smile which disappears as he turns toward Suhoon. It's nothing much but somehow enough to make Suhoon's pulse race as Hyunmin takes a step forward.

"You're such a bitch," he mumbles, but Suhoon can see a grin starting to spread across his face. "I'll go see him, but can we talk first?" Suhoon shrugs, trying to ignore the way is stomach flips when Hyunmin reaches out and pulls him over to lean against the sill with him, Hyunmin's arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry I've been a douche lately."

"Nothing I'm not already used to," Suhoon laughs.

"Oh, shut up." He shakes Suhoon slightly and Suhoon smacks him in the chest. Then he's pulled forward suddenly, roughly. His face knocks into Hyunmin's shoulder. Not quite sure what to do with his hands, he rests them on Hyunmin's sides. When Hyunmin sighs into his hair, he instinctively tenses. "I'm going to America."

"What do you mean?" He asks, pulling back and knocking Hyunmin's hands away when they try and force him back. Hyunmin frowns, crosses his arms and leans back against the sill.

"I got accepted into a really good music school. I know I said I planned to go to the university connected with this school, but I honestly didn't expect them to let me in." A dry laugh. "Especially with my English skills."

"So... you're just... going." Hyunmin nods, eyes on Suhoon who refuses to look up. He takes a step back, hands going back into his pockets. "I'm happy for you." He turns around with his head still bent.

"Suhoon-"

"No, really," he cuts Hyunmin off. "You're going to do great there. You deserve to have your talent recognized." His voice doesn't sound like his own, oddly monotone and robotic. He hears Hyunmin gathering up his music behind him before stepping in front of him, forcing him to meet his eyes. There's something in Hyunmin's eyes he's never seen before- pain, maybe guilt? Somehow it's funny and he finds himself chuckling, which only worsens Hyunmin's expression.

"I don't want to-"

"You don't need to explain anything to me," Suhoon sighs and pats him on the shoulder before moving around him toward the classroom. "It's not as if we owe each other anything."

When Suhoon leaves his apartment, it's raining. Not heavy enough to require an umbrella, but just enough to thoroughly dampen his hair by the time he reaches the studio. There are fans lined up outside, but not for him. They glance at him, hopeful, before returning to their conversations. Their disappointment doesn't bother him, as a matter of fact he's quite relieved.

When he enters the front doors, Jisang is waiting for him with the receptionist, shifting nervously from side to side. The minute he spots Suhoon, his face brightens up, his arm waving frantically in the air. Suhoon pauses, tempted to walk right back out, but considering how excited Jisang is he decides otherwise.

"We need to move quickly," Jisang whispers, grabbing Suhoon by the elbow and peering around the lobby. "I have really, really good news." He pulls harder to force Suhon to quicken his pace. "But I'll let them tell you."

"Them?" he asks and his voice betrays his growing panic.

"Yep, the executives." Suhoon struggles to pull away but Jisang has too tight a hold on his arm. In no time at all they're in the elevator with Jisang practically bouncing in place as they begin their ascent.

"Why the hell would they want to see me?" He manages to choke out. "Are they going to finally fire me?" If only that were the answer, but something tells Suhoon it's much, much worse.

"The complete opposite, if I understood correctly." Jisang beams. "Seems like a really popular artist has singled you out to be on their next album." Now Suhoon has to keep himself from laughing.

"You must have heard wrong. There's no way that could be true. No one even knows me." Lee Suhoon- ballad singer with a grand total of one single which didn't even sell one million copies. Most of his work consists of helping compose and doing a few duets with more popular artists in his label, but no one huge.

"No, that's what they said. He's even from the U.S., I hear." Jisang's excitement is infectious, but Suhoon tries to resist it. It simply could not be true. Maybe Jisang had heard the wrong name.

As they enter the boardroom, the executives look just as confused as Suhoon feels. The president of the company is even present, scratching his head and giving Suhoon a quick once-over before clearing his throat and gesturing for Jisang and Suhoon to take a seat. They obey, Suhoon sinking into the chair as far as he can as all eyes go on him.

"You should be happy, Suhoon," is all the president says before he pauses, as if waiting for an answer. Suhoon opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, so he gives a vague shrug. "This is quite the deal," the president continues. "I'm sure you'll be jumping out of that chair with joy when we tell you." Another expactant pause, which receives another indifferent shrug. He can sense his boss getting frustrated, as always.

"Maybe if you tell me, I will," he replies, unable to resist goading the older man on. The other executives grumble, frowning in unison.

The president takes a deep breath and forces a smile before taking a seat. With folded hands in front of him, he puts on what is supposed to be a pleased smile, but the poorly masked irritation in his eyes makes it threatening. "You've been singled out by someone, a very big star. He's releasing an album in a month or so, and the title track is going to be a duet. A ballad. And of all people in the world, he's decided he wants you to be in it."

"That's... great." Suhoon fakes a small smile, which placates the older man for the moment.

"Indeed it is. This artist is huge, Suhoon. He's based in the United States, but most of his music is in Korean so no need to worry about that. This will be his first release in Korea, so it's stirring a good deal of attention. If all goes well, this could do wonders for your career." A slanted look accompanied by a smirk, and the other executives chuckle behind their hands. Not that is bothers Suhoon, because it's no secret that the company thinks of him as essentially useless. If you don't make them money, they don't respect you. Unfortunately for them, Suhoon never was the kind of man who cared whether or not his superiors respected him.

"Sir," he says after giving them a moment to enjoy their little joke. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude, because this does sound like a very good opportunity, but aren't you going to tell me who this person is and why exactly he chose me? All of this secrecy seems rather pointless and juvenile." He expects the president to get angry at his remark, but instead the president clears his throat and looks away, as if nervous. Not a good sign.

"Well, we believe you already know him. He went to the same high school as Jisang and yourself, before attending university in the United States-" Suhoon's mouth goes dry and his heartbeat drowns out all other sounds, so he can't make out the presidents words. He can't take his eyes off the older man's moving lips, as if he's trying to read them even though he already knows what the president is saying.

"No." He hears himself say the word and his brain doesn't recognize his own voice. For a second he belives it must have been someone else objecting, and he glances around gratefully to see who. But Jisang is quiet and tense beside him, staring at Suhoon with strained eyes. Suhoon turns, and sees a vein pulsing in the president's forehead as he gapes at Suhoon. He begins to speak, but Suhoon is already on his feet having finally regained some control.

"Tell him no. I refuse."

Before the shouting can start, he's out the door, down the stairs and back on the street.

The red light on his answering machine blinks desperately in the dim light of his apartment. In his cave, the curtains drawn and lights off, Suhoon pulls the blanket tighter around him as the phone rings once, twice, three times until the answering machine picks up.

"It's me, Jisang-" He pulls the blanket over his head, closing his eyes and feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the worried tone in Jisang's muffled voice. A beep, and the apartment falls into silence once again. Reaching out a hand from his cocoon, he feels for and presses the button on the machine. You have 25 messages. Another press of the button. Messages deleted. Just as he manages to re-bury himself in his couch, the phone rings again. Groaning, he forces himself to a sitting position and yanks the phone off its holder, dragging it back under the covers with him.

"I really don't see why all of this calling and calling is necessary-" A low chuckle from the speaker cuts him off, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

"You still talk to Jisang-hyung like that?" the voice asks, and Suhoon can imagine that smile spreading slowly across that face. "You know, nothing is ever really his fault. He's so easily coerced."

If he were a more vocal person, Suhoon would be screaming. In his mind, he can imagine leaping to his feet, throwing open the sliding doors to his balcony and chucking the phone as far as he can. Instead, he's reduced to lying stiff beneath his blanket, his eyes fixed on the space in front of him and phone pressed firmly to his ear as more of that laughter fills his brain and pushes all rational thought aside.

"Hello?" the voice calls, slightly mocking. Suhoon does the only thing that comes to mind, fumbling for the hang-up button before flinging the phone as far away from the couch as he can. It clatters to the floor across the room. Suhoon waits, his quick breathing deafeningly loud in the silence. The power button on the phone glows as Suhoon waits.

Nothing.

When Suhoon wakes up, he isn't sure what time it is, or even what day it is. The curtains are still closed tight, just the slightest bit of light peeking through the top, which could be sunlight or the fluorescent lights that come on after dark in his neighborhood. After what had felt like hours of hiding under his blanket, waiting for the phone to ring again while coming up with endless insults and things to piss off Hyunmin should he call again, he'd somehow fell asleep gripping his pillow so tightly his hands were now sore.

Running a hand through his hair, he grimaces, wondering how long it had been since he showered. He shoves the blanket away and quickly checks the answering machine- no messages. A sigh of relief, and he shuffles down the hall toward the bathroom. A buzzing sound stops him in his tracks, and a glance at the clock tells him that two o'clock in the morning is a strange time for a visitor. He knows very well who it is, considering the earlier phone call and the fact that he knows only one person inconsiderate enough to stop by this late at night, but some masochistic part of him compels him to walk to the door. His hand freezes on the doorknob.

"Who is it?" he calls, because he realizes he should be just a bit more cautious than this.

"Me," Jisang's tired voice calls back through the door, sounding strained. He considers walking away, but knowing Jisang, he'd stand out there for over an hour and get sick. Then, feeling guilty, it would be Suhoon nursing him back to health for a week. He flips the deadbolt and swings the door open, only to have something shove past him, almost knocking him over. Jisang stands in the doorway, shifting back and forth on his feet, giving Suhoon a weak smile and making no move to enter the apartment. A squeak of springs as the third man sinks into Suhoon's couch, having not bothered to take off his shoes when he entered. Suhoon doesn't need to see his face to know who it is. Hell, even if he hadn't been expecting this and Jisang didn't look utterly guility, he would have known by the way he walked, the way he sat down, the way he purposefully angled himself so that Suhoon would have to make an effort to see who he was.

"You led him to my house?" His voice is almost a growl, shoulders shaking and eyes meeting Jisang's briefly before the older man glances away.

"I'm sorry!" Jisang whispers, eyes on his shoes and still not daring to step closer. "But he came to see me and we tried to call you, but you hung up so suddenly... I got worried. I said I would go check on you, I told him to stay at my place, but he kind of... followed me." Suhoon's hand tightens on the doorknob. Of course he would follow you, he wants to say. Of all people, Jisang should know to expect as much. Resisting the urge to scream at his friend, Suhoon tries to remember that it's not really Jisang's fault.

"Then you shouldn't have come at all," he replies, voice as cold as he can manage.

"Oh, quit bitching," a husky voice from the couch snaps, looking over at the two of them. Suhoon meets his eyes for a moment before instinctively looking away. "Fine, then how about you bitch at me, the person you're actually angry at? And for fuck's sake, let Jisang inside." Hyunmin yawns, stretching his arms and resting his feet on the coffee table.

Suhoon steps back from the door, motioning Jisang inside and telling himself over and over he does so because Jisang doesn't deserve to be kept outside and he's not doing it because Hyunmin told him to. Jisang pats him on the shoulder and smiles his apology as he passes by to join Hyunmin on the couch. "Hyunmin just got in yesterday morning," he says cheerfully. "He's been at my place since he got here, but we're hoping to get everyone together sometime soon- you know, me, you, Gwangchul, Injoon, Jihwan, Hyunchul and... Hyunmin." Suhoon doesn't respond, still standing in the same spot by the door; Jisang's voice falters. "Well, I guess we have plenty of time to do that. No rush. After all, we still need to find Hyunmin a place to stay." He glances at Suhoon, and it clicks.

"So that's why you two are here? You expect me to let him stay here?"

"My apartment is too small-"

"Ask one of the others!" He's almost shouting now, shaking his head furiously and making for the kitchen. A heavy sigh stops him. Our of the corner of his eyes, he sees Hyunmin get to his feet and smirk.

"I've called them all- none of them has room for me. Like Jisang said, his place is way too small."

"What about Hyunchul? His apartment is even bigger than mine."

"Didn't you hear?" he asks with feigned surprise. "Jihwan was practically living there for months, so a couple weeks back he went ahead and sold his place and is living with Hyunchul. Better to save money now that he's a college kid."

"Then go stay with Gwangchul and Injoon," Suhoon mumbles frantically. "It may be a little out of the way, but-"

Hyunmin laughs, his smirk growing into a grin. "I surprised them with a little present today. They're on a plane now, to France. Won't be back for weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't think to ask for a spare key or something. Bad luck, huh?" He continues to smile, despite the mounting rage on Suhoon's face.

"You actually paid for them to go to Europe just so I'd be forced to let you stay with me?" Hyunmin doesn't respond, only shoves his hands in the pockets of his dark coat, still smiling. Taking a deep breath, he meets Hyunmin's smile with a smile of his own, twitching at the corners. "If you both aren't out of here by the time I'm done showering, I will make you get out." He turns, moving down the hallway.

"Thank god, you fucking stink," he hears Hyunmin mutter after him. The bathroom door slams, followed by the front door. When Suhoon emerges some time later, the apartment is empty. Instead of triumph, a cold, empty feeling settles in his stomach as he stares at the empty couch.

A beet-red, trembling mountain looms over Suhoon in the form of his company's president. The older man's face contorts with his rage as he speaks: "Why are you so unwilling to do your job?"

"I am more than willing to work, sir, but I reserve the right to turn down job offers," he replies, voice level.

"While that may be true in most cases, you don't have the privilege in this case." The CEO's face gradually turns a more color. "This is too big an opportunity for all of us. This company has never received such an opportunity. Do you have any idea what this could do for your career?"

Getting out of his chair, Suhoon bows to his boss before heading for the door. "I've made it clear before that I don't care much for how successful I become- as long as I can sing, I will sing. If you feel the need to fire me because of this, please don't hesitate to."

Unfortunately, as he opens the office door to make his proud, graceful exit, Hyunmin's face appears on the other side, and he's dragged into the hallway.

After being shoved into an empty conference room, Suhoon sinks into a chair at the long table only to wait impatiently as Hyunmin begins to pace in front of him. Almost five minutes pass as Suhoon watches Hyunmin walk back and forth, biting as his nails. Finally, taking a seat next to Suhoon, but not looking him in the eye, Hyunmin says quietly, "You're going to accept this job."

Suhoon almost laughs. "Like hell I am."

"Why not?" he replies, voice low, eyes on his hands folded on the table.

A sigh, Suhoon pretends to think about it. "Because I don't feel like it."

"You shouldn't let your personal life interfere with your business." Hyunmin still doesn't look up, and Suhoon visibly bristles.

"Excuse me, and who was the one banging on my door at two in the morning, demanding I let him live with me?" A wince, and Hyunmin leans back in his chair.

"Maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

"You think?" he scoffs, but a smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. The tension eases somewhat, and Hyunmin grins, meeting Suhoon's gaze for the first time since entering the conference room.

"I have an idea," Hyunmin says, breaking the comfortable silence. "What if I begged you?"

Suhoon's eyes widen and he's not sure he heard correctly. "Beg?" Hyunmin just nods, still grinning. "I suppose I could accept that," Suhoon says haughtily. "But only if you tell me exactly why you're so desperate for me to accept."

Leaning back forward, Hyunmin squints at Suhoon, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. "You honestly think I'm doing this just to bother you, don't you?" Hyunmin doesn't let him speak when he opens his mouth. "It's not like that, I promise. I won't lie, last night was mostly to piss you off, though I do need a place to stay. I'll get to that later. That is, if you'll let me explain myself."

The sheepish, almost nervous look on Hyunmin's face catches Suhoon offguard. As much as he tries to bring himself to argue, all he can muster is a curt nod, followed by a small smile when Hyunmin smiles- for the first time, geniunely.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you weren't my first choice." A glance up at Suhoon and he laughs. "And don't glare at me like that; I was in the United States. A Korean singer didn't make much sense. My company picked out a great singer to feature in the duet, but we ran into... difficulties." He rubs his chin with his hand, looking off to the side. "He stuck around for three hours of recording, then quit. Company wasn't too happy, but they found someone else. She quit after one hour." Eyes drift back to Suhoon, and instantly he gets it. This time he lets himself smile.

"They didn't like you," he says, and his smile must have gotten too big or too happy because Hyunmin glowers.

"They said I sang too loud!" he snaps. "I told them no, they just needed to be better singers, and they took it personally."

Wanting to laugh so badly, but managing to contain it, Suhoon gives him an incredulous look. "How can anyone not take that personally?" Looking away again, frustrated and embarrassed, Hyunmin says nothing at first.

"I was just telling the truth," he mutters finally. Suhoon rolls his eyes.

"That may be so, but it's unprofessional to outright insult someone you're working with." Hyunmin's quiet at this, and Suhoon swears he almost looks bashful, ashamed, which are two things Woo Hyunmin just does not feel. Just as Suhoon begins to wonder what else has changed about Hyunmin, he interrupts Suhoon's thoughts.

"I've been given an ultimatum. I've lost them too much money, so they told me that if I can't find someone to sing this damn duet with me, they'll fire me. My reputation doesn't matter, the money I've already earned them doesn't matter, I'll be out. For good. They gave me one chance; I could only think of you."

Despite himself, Suhoon his face grow warm. Hyunmin doesn't seem to notice, which he's grateful for. "Is this where I'm supposed to be flattered? There are plenty of singers out there, Hyunmin. Why me?" He does his best to put on a serious, neutral face, but it feels strange.

"You're the only person I've ever sung with." Hyunmin's staring at him, and he forces himself to look away, out the window. The atmosphere is suddenly too intimate, and far too familiar. He takes a deep breath, calling to mind the years that have passed and how much must be different now, for both of them. Releasing the breath, he looks back and Hyunmin, who falters.

"If I agree to do this, I'm going to have conditions." He pauses, expecting Hyunmin to argue or at least make some sort of snide remark, but he sits calmly, nodding for Suhoon to continue. "You will listen to me and do everything I say, with absolutely no insults or questions asked." Hyunmin smirks.

"Like high school all over again, right?" At this, Suhoon stands, crossing his arms tighter across his chest.

"No, nothing like high school," he says firmly. "That's another condition- no funny stuff. No bringing up the past. We're both adults now, and everything is better left in the past, I think." Hyunmin's face hardens, something like anger flickering in his eyes.

"I can't promise anything about the second part," he replies lightly, shrugging despite his expression. Glaring, Suhoon turns to go, halfway out the door by the time Hyunmin stops him. "Fine! How about this? At work, I won't touch the subject. But you can't avoid talking about it forever."

"There's nothing to talk about," Suhoon mutters, silently agreeing. "We broke up, Hyunmin." A smile spreads across the seated man's face, bright and genuine, lacking its usual sarcasm.

"I don't remember us ever breaking up."

"Funny, I don't remember us even saying we were together." The door slams as he storms from the room.

He chooses to head straight home, calling the producer and Jisang on the way and pretending as if his change of heart had nothing to do with being trapped in a room with Hyunmin for a good twenty minutes. The front door of his apartment closes behind him, and as he closes his eyes he can still picture Hyunmin's face, too serious, breaching every defense he attempted to put up and bringing up everything Suhoon wished to avoid forever. He collapses onto his couch and is tempted to bury himself there for days again, but he knows this time he can't do that. He made a deal.

Just as he prepares to drown himself in his own misery, something lands on his face, and something else sinks into the other end of the couch: "It's not safe to leave your door unlocked, you know." Tossing what fell onto his head to the side- a duffel bag, apparently- Suhoon gawks at Hyunmin, who smiles at him casually from his seat. "What?"

He doesn't even pause to think. "Get out."

"Sorry, but that won't work this time," he sighs. "If you had bothered to stay and talk, instead of storming out of the room like the heroine of some corny romance drama, I would have explained to you that I still need a place to crash."

Suhoon blinks. "But-"

"Yes, last night was mostly a joke, but I was serious about that much. My company's so pissed they refuse to pay for a hotel room for me. And I really did pay Gwangchul and Injoon to leave, and Hyunchul and Jihwan really won't let me stay." His smile widens slightly. "I only kind of regret that first part, but they deserved a vacation. So, how about it?"

Suhoon knows that this is when he's supposed to scream, force him out, do anything and everything possible to separate himself from Hyunmin as much as possible, but all at once, he deflates. "Fine," he mumbles, rising from the couch and ignoring the shocked expression on Hyunmin's face. As he marches, defeated, back to his room, Hyunmin says something he can't hear, though it sounds like an apology. Hyunmin is still apologizing when Suhoon closes his bedroom door behind him, only stopping when Suhoon re-opens the door to shove a pile of linen into his face a moment later.

Jisang sounds smug on the phone when he calls to wake Suhoon up the next morning. "This is great!" he chirps, ignoring the punctuated stream of profanities that is Suhoon's side of the conversation. "You two need to hurry and kiss and make up." The last thing Suhoon hears as his cell phone connects with his wall is Jisang's giggling.

An awkward morning is followed by an even more awkward walk to the studio, during which Hyunmin makes several attempts to start a civil conversation, all rejected by Suhoon's monosyllabic responses. Jisang meets them in the lobby, immediately choosing to walk alongside Hyunmin rather than Suhoon. The two whisper to one another during the elevator ride and the walk down the hall to the president's office. By the time they are all seated in front of the president's desk, the tension is so great the president himself seems rather uncomfortable.

After an unecessarily long silence, the president chooses to speak up, "I'm very glad you chose to reconsider." Suhoon nods, face vacant.

"Do you have the contract ready? I'd rather go ahead and sign so we can start recording as soon as possible," is his reply, voice as devoid of emotion as his face. The president looks taken aback and hesitates.

"We'll have it ready by the time you two start recording. As for when that will be, preparing a studio will take at least a day." Suhoon's face darkens, and Jisang and Hyunmin sink back into their chairs. The president laughs it off, slapping Suhoon on the shoulder. "Relax! You two probably have a lot of catching up to do. Go out, get to know each other, and you'll be great friends by the time recording starts!" Another clap on the shoulder, and Suhoon can hear Hyunmin and Jisang's sharp intakes of breath.

"Just make sure it's ready by tomorrow. We know each other well enough already," he says quietly and as politely as he can manage. He's out the door before Jisang and Hyunmin get to their feet, and he's only vaguely aware of them cautiously following him home.

Suhoon is fuming at his dining room table when Jisang and Hyunmin catch up, walking quietly through the unlocked- this time, on purpose- front door. The latter takes his usual spot on the couch, while Jisang joins Suhoon at the table.

"I was thinking," he begins, hesitant. "We should call Hyunchul and Jihwan. Go out tonight." Suhoon wants to snap and growl and turn him down, but he doesn't have the energy to. He nods. Jisang almost laughs out of surprise. "What, really? You want to go?" Another nod, and Jisang practically leaps out of his chair and out the front door to call the other two. As soon as he's gone, Hyunmin takes Jisang's spot at the table.

"Are you going to be this much fun when we go out?" he asks, with a surprisingly minial amount of sarcasm in his voice. He watches Suhoon carefully, and Suhoon swears Hyunmin looks angry. "I told you before, don't take your anger out Jisang. He doesn't deserve it. Do you plan to do the same to Hyunchul and Jihwan tonight?"

"Are you seriously lecturing me?" Suhoon asks, exasperated.

"Someone needs to." Hands clenching into fists, Suhoon wants nothing more than to march straight out of the apartment, but that's what Hyunmin expects. He can tell just by looking at Hyunmin's face. Then, suddenly, Hyunmin gets up instead, only saying one more thing before going to join Jisang outside, "Just try and remember that you're not the only one who's hurt and angry."

Hours later, sitting at their table in the bar, Suhoon wishes more than anything he were as smashed as Jisang, who at that very moment attempts to climb on top of the table and sing his own remix of 2NE1's "Fire." Luckily, Hyunchul manages to pull him down and settle him back into his seat before he gets to the first chorus, while Jihwan sits giggling into his beer. Technically, Jihwan still isn't of age, but a few smooth lines to the proprietress later thanks to Hyunmin, and she's gushing all over Jihwan, congratulating him on his birthday and no, he doesn't need to worry about his ID. People forget them all the time, after all.

By now, though, Hyunmin is passed out across the table from Suhoon, still clinging to his shot glass. Pouting in his seat, Jisang isn't far behind Hyunmin, but he refuses the beer Hyunchul offers him. Hyunchul offers it to Suhoon next, who also says no.

"So when did you and Hyunmin get back together?" Hyunchul finally asks, Suhoon sighing in relief after hours of stressing about when their old friends were going to bring it up.

"We're not 'back together,'" he replies, cringing at the last two words. "He flew in a few days ago and asked me to be featured on his next album."

"Hm, that's a surprise," Hyunchul says, face belying his surprise. "He told me he was recording a new album, but he never mentioned you."

"I was a last resort after he fucked up with his first choice," he sneers and grabs the beer out of Hyunchul's hand. Jihwan covers his mouth to hide his laughter, but Suhoon catches him and is half-tempted to chuck his half-full bottle at him. Before he can make his decision, Jisang grabs the bottle out of his hand and places it a safe distance away.

"Feeling a little bitter?" Hyunchul chuckles. "You both have some serious anger issues. At least back in high school you would take it out on each other." He takes a swig from the bottle. "Now you've grown into even worse adults, which I still can't believe is possible."

"Like it's my fault."

"It is your fault, and his. You two suck ass at communicating. I bet you don't even know about graduation, seeing as you avoided him the entire week before and didn't bother showing up to the ceremony." Suhoon watches him, eyes wide, waiting for Hyunchul to continue, but the younger man just sticks out his tongue. "Why the hell should I tell you?"

Jisang, now a bit more sober and able to follow the conversation, sighs. "Hyunmin planned something for graduation day. None of us know what, though, because the second he saw you weren't there, he walked off the stage. He didn't even pick up his diploma." A hiccup. "He was pretty pissed. Still won't talk about it."

Something in his gut twists uncomfortably, but Suhoon forces himself to shrug. "Not my problem."

"Maybe," Jisang yawns. "But the way I see it, you broke up with Hyunmin. Not the other way around." Before Suhoon can protest, Jisang curls up on his arms on the table, fast asleep.

When he wakes up a half an hour later, Jisang helps Suhoon get Hyunmin back to his apartment, where Suhoon promptly dumps him on the couch and locks himself in his bedroom.

For the second day in a row, Suhoon is woken by a phonecall from Jisang, this time the older man sounding just as half-asleep: "Boss just called. We were supposed to be in the studio thirty minutes ago." For the second day in a row, Suhoon's phone flies across the room as he bolts out of bed to chuck things at Hyunmin until he wakes up.

Barely able to understand the sheet music in front of him through the pounding in his head, Suhoon glances at Hyunmin, whose bloodshot, strained eyes tell Suhoon he's having similar issues. The producer is going on and on about the composition, the balance, and other technical things neither of them has the energy to absorb. When they're finally left alone to finish reading the music, Suhoon tosses it to the side, choosing to sink down in his chair and rub his temples instead.

"Are you going to be okay to record tonight?" Hyunmin asks, in a forced, cocky voice. Noticing Suhoon's glare, he chuckles and shifts tones. "I just mean, if you'd rather rest, we don't need to spend all afternoon practicing. It's not like I don't know your singing capability."

"Is that a compliment?"

A shrug. "If you'd like it to be."

He shifts in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Well, thank you." Hyunmin just nods, and Suhoon becomes very afraid of silence. "Maybe I'll take you up on that offer. There are still some details about the contract I need to straighten out with Jisang. Mind if I go?"

"Go ahead," he replies with an odd smile, standing up when Suhoon does. "I'll hang around here, so just be back around nine."

"Nine?"

Hyunmin's smile turns into a smirk. "Who's the one who said he wanted to start as soon as possible? It was the earliest reservation we could get for the studio." Suhoon gives him the finger and leaves without responding.

Finding Jisang's office empty, Suhoon steps outside and calls him. No answer. He tries again, then again. After his fourth try, he gives up, instead choosing to sit outside the building on the rarely used bench. The sky is a dark grey and cloudy, like it's going to rain again soon. For a few moments Suhoon ponders if he can use the weather as an excuse to put off the recording, as illogical as the reasoning may be.

Then he remembers Hyunmin in the recording room, so serious and earnest and, well, desperate. Desperate was such an odd word to try to apply to Hyunmin. The last time Suhoon had sung with Hyunmin, it had been nothing like this. Their high school musical director had assigned them to sing a duet for their annual recital. Nothing this big was on the line- no money or job or reputation. For the most part, it was for fun. That is, if Hyunmin or Suhoon had found singing together to be fun.

Hyunmin just wasn't the duet type. Anytime he sang along with the class, he turned it into a competition. He always had to sing the loudest, hold the notes the longest, smiling victoriously every time he made his fellow classmates turn red with oxygen loss or go into a violent coughing fit. Most of their class had, quite understandably, hated him, not necessarily because he made it into a competition but because he always, always won. The only people unaffected by his obxious behavior were Suhoon and Injoon, because Suhoon didn't care and Injoon was too good-natured to be bothered. This was probably why the director had assigned Suhoon to sing the duet with Hyunmin in the first place.

Suhoon sighs out loud and a woman passing by gives him a strange look. Inwardly he curses himself for letting this happen- always letting Hyunmin get to him. He checks his watch and still has two hours before recording starts. Plenty of time to mentally prepare and construct a plan for reigning in the wild ways of Woo Hyunmin.

Or at least he hopes it's enough time.

Hyunmin is distracted when Suhoon finally returns, chatting with one of the producers and only giving Suhoon a small wave when he spots him. Relief washes over him because, thank god, they're not alone, but he instantly throws back up his guard and doesn't return the greeting. Not that Hyunmin notices, distracted as he is, but Suhoon think it's a good start. Now he just has to keep it up.

Surprisingly enough, Hyunmin stays distant throughout the preparations for recording. He hands the music back to Suhoon with a small smile, but from then on he's all business. Even if Suhoon wanted to, he doesn't think he could distract Hyunmin from his work. The producers decide that Hyunmin will record first in order to give Suhoon more preparation time. They assure Suhoon that they will do anything they can to help him, considering he's only gotten the music today. Shooting Suhoon an apologetic look, Hyunmin goes into the recording booth.

Suhoon hurries off the producers, telling them to focus on their star and he'll just have to do his best to keep up. By now he's used to dealing with producers of bigger-name stars. Though he doesn't hear Suhoon, one look from Hyunmin and it's obvious he got the gist. He winks and Suhoon frowns, forcing himself to look back down at the sheet music. Three read-overs is enough for him, though, so eventually he's just letting the notes and words blur together before his eyes.

Music begins to play so Suhoon lets himself look up. Smugly, he notes that the song sounds exactly like he imagined just by looking at the notes- a simple but lonely melody with a strong piano accompaniment. With the background music turned down, it reminds Suhoon of the songs they used to practice in high school, and Hyunmin stepping up to a mic so confidently, with that cocky smirk on his face, is exactly the same Hyunmin he remembers.

"Hyunmin, we're going to start," the producer's voice interrupts Suhoon's thoughts. Hyunmin nods before giving Suhoon another wink. This time, Suhoon finds himself blushing a little. Only because he's thinking too much about high school, he tells himself. Nothing more.

Then Hyunmin starts singing, and Suhoon isn't really sure what happens, but suddenly he's there, in the choir room, seventeen years old, and watching Hyunmin like he always did. The producers and other employees are just like their classmates with their mix of gaping mouths and impressed smiles. The only thing missing is Injoon, clawing at Suhoon's arms and whispering, 'Isn't he so good, isn't he? Suhoon?' over and over throughout the performance. Suhoon would only nod, because yes, he is good, but that's not why Suhoon likes to watch him sing.

Back when they first started dating, Hyunmin had told Suhoon his greatest secret. He'd been stretched across Suhoon's dorm bed, messing with Suhoon's old cd player, and the confession had come from nowhere:

"I don't sing for other people."

Suhoon had just scoffed, "Well, that's obvious." But Hyunmin had turned to face him and sat up in the bed, his eyes completely serious.

"Don't you feel that singing is something really personal?" He hadn't waited for Suhoon to answer, but looked away and rubbed the back of his neck as if embarrassed. "Singing with others... feels weird, like someone is invading my privacy."

Suhoon had felt the urge to point out the irony in that statement, coming from a boy occupying someone else's bed, in someone else's room, playing with their things. And shirtless, no less. "I have no problem with it," he says.

Hyunmin had smiled- not his usual smirk, but a geniune smile. "I know. I admire that about you, that you feel comfortable sharing something so personal like that." There'd been a strange glint in his eye. "Want to know a secret?"

Suhoon hadn't nodded, hadn't said yes, but Hyunmin took his silence as a yes. Either that or he hadn't really cared what the answer was. He'd crawled up to the end of the bed, where Suhoon was sitting, until their noses had almost touched.

"Sometimes," he'd whispered, so quietly that it was more like he breathed the words into Suhoon's face. "I sing for you." And then he'd dragged Suhoon down on top of him, their lips locking together mid-tumble.

From then on, Suhoon had paid just a little more attention when Hyunmin sang, looking for clues, but only to see if Hyunmin had been lying. He hadn't known whether to feel proud or happy or disturbed when he'd discovered Hyunmin had been telling the truth. Every now and then, Hyunmin sang for him, but only Suhoon could tell.

And now, sitting in the recording studio, Suhoon wishes like hell he couldn't, because Hyunmin stares at him through the glass and he can tell. The way Hyunmin is staring, hands on the headphones and singing into the mic, but he's not singing to the producer or the mic or his fans. One glance up and Suhoon meets his eyes and is trapped, because he knows. And Hyunmin knows; he smiles just slightly before returning his eyes to the music.

Suhoon shuffles the music in his hands and looks away. He spends the next hour or so trying to shake off that horribly familiar feeling that's making it so very hard to breathe.

What Suhoon finds he can't ignore, though, is the way Hyunmin stares when it's Suhoon's turn to record. When he passes Hyunmin on his way inside the recording booth, Suhoon feels a hand lightly brush his arm and across his stomach. He knows it's just an accidental touch, but it's enough to give him nervous butterflies as he takes his place behind the mic.

Hyunmin doesn't even try to be subtle about it, which is probably what bothers Suhoon the most. The first couple practice runs through his first verse, Suhoon manages to keep his eyes on the lyrics despite the fact he can feel someone watching. But then, at the last second, he glances up, meets Hyunmin's steady gaze and panics. The producers find the way Suhoon's voice cracks amusing, luckily, and reassure him that he has no reason to be nervous. They think his nerves are due to singing with a celebrity, but then again none of them bother to look behind them. If they did, Hyunmin's smirk and burning gaze would reveal far more than Suhoon would like them to know, so he apologizes profusely and lets them think what they want.

"Just relax," Hyunmin calls through the intercom when it's time for the real recording to start. The producers smile and nod, but Suhoon feels anything but comfortable as Hyunmin returns to his seat without once blinking his half-lidded eyes.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. In that instant, Hyunmin disappears, the producers disappear, and all Suhoon sees in his mind are words and bars after bars of music. If Hyunmin can be professional, so can Suhoon. As the music starts, the bars in his mind start moving along with it, and Suhoon sings.

The frustration on Hyunmin's face when Suhoon finishes recording is so obvious, Suhoon laughs out loud. The producers laugh, too, because they think Hyunmin is frustrated that Suhoon took half the time to record as Hyunmin, and this only makes Suhoon laugh more. Hyumin doesn't like being ignored, doesn't like trying so hard and getting zero results, and Suhoon's perfect performance had given him just that. Just like in high school, when Hyunmin would try to distract Suhoon during his practices and fail horribly. The almost-pouting level look of bitterness is exactly the same.

A light pat on the arm only worsens Hyunmin's expression as he takes his place next to Suhoon in the recording room. Suhoon wants to whisper something encouraging- okay, no, he really wants to tease Hyunmin- but the mics and the producers in the other room remind him to maintain his professionalism, at least for now.

The producers remind them that they have the studio booked all night, so there's no pressure, and Hyunmin reminds them that he doesn't need their assurances when he's sung with Suhoon before. All of these compliments strike Suhoon as funny rather than flattering, and he tells the producers that they're ready. One of the producers give him a strange, worried look, and leans in close to the speaker as if that would hide his voice from Hyunmin:

"I apologize in advance for anything this guy says."

Hyunmin starts to say something back, but Suhoon cuts him off, "Trust me, I'm used to it." Behind the glass, a few of the producers laugh. Suhoon jabs Hyunmin with his elbow and points to the music, reminding him what to focus on. With a sigh, Hyunmin complies.

Suhoon stops Hyunmin five seconds in, "You're too loud." He notices the producers lean back and glance amongst themselves nervously when Hyunmin doesn't respond right away. His jaw clenches and his eyes get slightly strained at the corners, but he doesn't argue. He nods and quietly asks the producers to start the music again. The amazed looks on the producers' faces make Suhoon's chest swell with pride, and he throws Hyunmin a thankful half-smile.

The studio is tense for the first hour as Suhoon works with Hyunmin, trying to adjust him to singing together. He can sense Hyunmin's temper flaring every time Suhoon asks the producers to stop, but by the time Suhoon tells him what he needs to change, Hyunmin's calm, collected and oddly quiet. After that first hour, though, Hyunmin is grinning and laughing as they finally start to fit their voices together.

Suhoon has never told anyone, but he loves being a duet singer. He doesn't mind the lack of fame because he's allowed to do exactly what he wants, and what he wants is to sing with others. He loves working with singers and figuring out the best way to balance their voices, testing his own limits as well as the other's. There's a challenge to it, something much more difficult and, in his opinion, rewarding than recording a solo song. Over the years, he's learned how to judge his fellow singer's strengths and weaknesses and hone his own voice to complement those aspects perfectly. Being in the background suits him, and despite his general dislike and discomfort with other people, he loves nothing more than to sing with them.

Being in the studio, doing exactly this, fills Suhoon with so much excitement and energy that he can't hide it. He smiles indulgently and grabs Hyunmin's arms, swinging him when they finally get the first few lines of the chorus recorded. Hyunmin looks baffled, but Suhoon's energy is contagious and soon he, and the workers, are filled with a similar bright enthusiasm. They successful record the entire chorus and Suhoon bounces a little behind the mic. When they begin to record the first verse they sing together, their voices harmonize perfectly in the first line and Hyunmin's so surprised he laughs out loud, ruining the recording but sending a wave of cheers through the studio.

In his excitement- or something else, but Suhoon doesn't care enough to overthink it- Hyunmin grabs Suhoon and pulls him into a hug. The producers are watching, but neither of them care. Suhoon hugs him back and lets himself bury his face aganst Hyunmin's shoulder. Hyunmin feels the same, he smells the same, and everything about the moment is so familiar, it's terrifying, but Suhoon lets his mind do as it will and only pulls back when Hyunmin goes to do the same. Hyunmin is watching him curiously, but all Suhoon does is smile and turn back to the mic.

Four hours and a few more impromptu hugs later, they finish the song. Too exhausted for another round of cheering, everyone heads out for a celebratory drink at the bar next door.

"Yah, Jisanggie!" Suhoon's not sure when he got his phone out of his pocket, or if it's even his phone, or how he managed to dial Jisang, but it's Jisang groaning at him in the speaker for sure. "What are you doing asleep so early, huh!"

"It's five in the morning, you idiot," Jisang replies, but there's vague amusement in his voice. "Are you drunk?"

Suhoon thinks about it for a moment. "I think so."

"Where are you?"

Suhoon thinks again, looks around. "I'm in... an alley?"

There's a flurry of shuffling and heavy breathing and Jisang's voice is panicked when he speaks. "Are you alone? Where's Hyunmin, weren't you recording together tonight?"

Suhoon laughs at Jisang's worried voice and spins a little, shaking his head at Hyunmin. "Oh, he's right here, you really need to-" Hyunmin grabs the phone from his hands and clicks it off before shoving it in his pocket. Oh, it must be Hyunmin's phone, Suhoon notes vaguely, as Hyunmin grabs him around the waist and turns him until his back is up against one of the brick walls of the alley. Suhoon giggles as his vision continues to spin a moment before he's able to focus on Hyumin's face. There's something strange in Hyunmin's expression, but Suhoon's inebriated mind can't place it.

"Do you always call Jisang-hyung this late at night?" Hyunmin asks, voice low. His arms are still around Suhoon's waist, and Suhoon is grateful because he's not sure he's entirely able to stand at the moment. The tightening grip, though, starts to worry him.

"I call him whenever I finish recording." The hold tightens. "Hyunmin, let go," he attempts to order Hyumin, but his voice is weak and sleepy as his high begins to wear off thanks to his increasing panic. The wall behind him feels harsh and solid and he's not sure he'd be able to get away from Hyunmin if he tried.

"I missed you," is all Hyunmin says, his voice hoarse and breath warm against Suhoon's neck. Suhoon feels his legs start to give out, but Hyunmin's arms keep him up. "I really wanted to see you."

"You're not drunk," he gasps, his hands on Hyunmin's shoulders and making a lame attempt at shoving him away. Hyunmin pulls back and grins.

"You can tell? I guess you're not drunk anymore, either." But he doesn't let go, instead he leans back in and sighs against Suhoon's neck. "If I pretend to be, can I stay like this a while longer?"

"What kind of a question is that?" he snaps, but stops pushing Hyunmin away. A laugh makes Hyunmin's body shake against his, so close Suhoon can feel every time Hyunmin takes a breath. There are lips on his skin and teeth, and hands are underneath his shirt and feeling along his sides. Suhoon turns his head away, but that only gives Hyunmin better access and his mouth moves to Suhoon's collarbone.

"You're still so fucking skinny," Hyunmin groans as his hands move higher up Suhoon's chest. His palms are warm and when his fingers lightly brush against Suhoon's nipples, he takes a sharp intake of breath. A moan escapes Hyunmin's mouth and he removes one hand to force Suhoon's face to turn. Suhoon squeezes his eyes shut as Hyunmin's lips meet his in a rough, sloppy kiss. Hyunmin bites Suhoon's lips and sucks on them and presses his body harder against Suhoon's. Their hips grind together suddenly and Suhoon hisses into Hyunmin's mouth. He pulls Hyunmin's closer, as close as he can, kissing him back furiously and trying not to let what he's doing register in his mind. All that he focuses on is Hyunmin's voice in his ear and the warm, familiar feeling of skin against skin.

Suhoon is naked, covered by Hyunmin's arm and a sheet that somehow managed to remain on the bed during all the earlier movement, and is slowly starting to come back to reality. Every fiber of his being is telling him this was a mistake, but Hyunmin's kissing the back of his neck and humming. It all feels so right.

"Hyunmin," he says in an attempt to pull himself from his thoughts. "What happened at graduation?" Hyunmin's mouth stops, but his arm pulls Suhoon closer until his back is flush against Hyunmin, still warm and sweaty.

"Does it matter?" Hyunmin grumbles and presses his lips against Suhoon's shoulder.

"Jisang mentioned it and I'm curious," he insists.

"I was supposed to sing, you know that, but when I got up there I decided I didn't want to anymore." The words come out rushed and muffled against Suhoon's skin. "You weren't there and I was going to sing for you." He's so quiet Suhoon almost can't hear him.

"You're such a baby," Suhoon chuckles, but suddenly he feels relaxed and the arms around him don't make him feel so ill at ease. "I thought you wanted to break up with me."

"If I'm a baby, you're a bitch. Not coming to graduation because you think I wanted to break up with you?"

"I didn't want to see you when I knew you were leaving," he whispers into the pillow.

Hyunmin squeezes his waist. "I haven't been with anyone but you." At that, Suhoon half-turns around, smacking the shit-eating grin off of Hyunmin's face.

"You fucking liar."

Hyunmin ducks his head behind Suhoon's back, stilling holding him around the waist. "Okay, okay, I'm a liar." He peeks back at Suhoon and grins again. "But I only love you." He pauses, looks down and presses his forehead against Suhoon's back to hide his face. "I mean it."

Suhoon feels himself start to blush and he turns back around. Hyunmin's mouth returns to Suhoon's neck, moving along his shoulder, then back up to his jaw. His hand moves over Suhoon's hip and up his side to his arms. Suhoon rolls over and Hyunmin moves to hover above him, kissing him with that same grin on his face and soft, clouded eyes. He lets his eyes drift closed as Hyunmin kisses a trail lower and lower down his chest as he hums the song they'd just finished recording earlier that evening.

The next morning Suhoon wakes up not to his alarm, but to Hyunmin's voice, hushed and on the other side of the bedroom door. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and creeps to the door, just making out Hyunmin's last few sentences.

"Really, so soon? We just finished last night. Yeah, I know we need to finish planning production, but- okay, okay, I know. I should come back. I'll have someone book the flight back as soon as I can."

The silence that follows is deafening. Suhoon can feel and hear his heart pulsing in his ears and though he knows he needs to rush back to the bed and pretend to be asleep, he's frozen in place. When Hyunmin steps back inside, Suhoon isn't sure what expression is on his face, but Hyunmin immediately pulls him into a painful hug.

"I'm fine," he manages to choke out, returning the hug half-heartedly. He knows he is, he has to be fine, because he knew that this would be coming. He just didn't know it would be so soon.

"You're a bad liar," Hyumin jokes, but his expression is pained when he pulls back. "You need to elarn to speak up when something bothers you."

The muscles in Suhoon's chest constrict, making it hard to speak, so he heads back to the bed. Hyunmin's arms stop him, grabbing him around the waist from behind.

"Come with me," he says with desperation in his voice. "I'm going to ask my manager to buy two plane tickets. Come with me." He repeats the same phrase over and over quietly to Suhoon's back and rubs his face against Suhoon's skin.

Mind blank, Suhoon says the first thing that crosses his mind, "I don't even speak English." Hyumin laughs against his back.

"Hey, neither do I. That's what translators are for." It all sounds so easy it makes Suhoon's mind spin. "I don't want to be alone anymore, Suhoon," Hyunmin says quietly into his ear. "I came here on a whim, not wanting to see anyone, really, but I can't just leave now. I don't want to go back to being just Hyunmin again."

"I'm going to be useless," he mumbles, his face hot and heart pounding so loudly he struggles to understand what Hyunmin is saying.

"No, my album's going to be a hit. They're going to demand more, and you'll conveniently be there to help."

He sounds so confident. "I don't know," Suhoon says and lets Hyunmin lead him back to bed. Hyunmin kisses Suhoon's stomach and shoulders and repeats the same words so quietly they run together into a slow, lonely moan:

"Come with me."

Hyunmin leaves the apartment first that afternoon, thinking Suhoon is still asleep. Once he's certain Hyunmin is gone, Suhoon crawls out of bed and gets dressed lazily. Without thinking, he dials Jisang and goes to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee while he listens to the dull ringing.

Jisang barely gets out half a syllable of Suhoon's name and Suhoon starts babbling- about recording, about how great it was and how Hyunmin is still the same, and then about being drunk in an alley, then suddenly not drunk in an alley and moving to be not drunk in bed. He ends with something along the lines of, "And he wants me to go to America and I feel like I'm going to puke." Jisang is quiet for a few minutes, letting Suhoon catch his breath and run to the bathroom when he suddenly does feel like he's going to puke. Luckily, he doesn't, and Jisang's calm voice works wonders on his nerves.

"Do you want to go, Suhoon?" It's such a simple question, but Suhoon doesn't have an answer.

"I don't know."

Jisang agrees to tell the company Suhoon is sick for the day, but only when Suhoon agrees to talking to someone else about this. After much debating, Jisang convinces him to let Hyunchul in on the secret. Suhoon gets as far as, "And then we had sex," and Hyunchul is out the door and on his way over.

"I don't see what's so hard about this," Hyunchul drawls over his cup of coffee as he sits in Suhoon's living room. He's seated in the one chair, keeping a careful eye on Suhoon, who's stretched across the couch with his face buried in the pillows. "You want to go, right?"

"Yes," Suhoon groans. "But it's complicated."

"Doesn't sound complicated to me. You want to be with him, and you want to keep singing duets. This kills two birds with one stone, you know?"

Suhoon reluctantly rolls over and meets Hyunchul's critical gaze. Hyunchul is the one person Suhoon can rely on to always be honest, which is why he's the one everyone goes to advice. Sometimes, though, Hyunchul had the ability to send his friends into a rage with his straight-forward, uncomplicated answers. "I don't want to follow him," Suhoon says. "That's humiliating."

"Love and pride don't go together," Hyunchul explains calmly. "What you want to do is be with him, and sometimes being with someone requires following them."

"It's so... humiliating," he repeats, and pulls a pillow over his face.

"You didn't follow him last time. Do you regret that?"

Suhoon thinks before he answers. "No."

Hyunchul smiles a little and nods. "That's good, but do you think you'd regret not following him now?"

Suhoon closes his eyes because once again, he has no answer.

The elevator is too warm and too bright. Being hungover for two days straight isn't Suhoon's style, and it shows in the dark bags under his eyes and the way his eyes refuse to focus on anything too long before it makes him wince. The worst part of the elevator, though, is the beaming grin he can feel on the back of his head.

"Just stop, Jisang," he grumbles. The older boy ruffles Suhoon's hair affectionately.

"Lighten up," he says, wrapping an arm around Suhoon's shoulder and shaking him lightly. Suhoon glances over and, of course, Jisang is smiling that glowing, perfectly cheerful smile. It hurts Suhoon's eyes. "Don't you think it's all so romantic?"

"Romantic?" Suhoon repeats, the word feeling awkward and wrong in his mouth. "It's cliche."

"It's wonderful," Jisang corrects him, the sighs. "I wish you wouldn't overcomplicate this. You want to go, but don't want to go for the reason you want to go. Just go, Suhoon."

"Why should I?" he snaps, not expecting an answer, but Jisang has one ready with steady eyes.

"Because you're not very good at being alone."

It's days later and Suhoon's at an airport dragging a suitcase behind him. Hyunmin's waiting a few feet a head, tapping his feet in agitation.

"Now's not the time to change your mind, you know," Hyunmin scolds him as he catches up. Suhoon's body is on fire and his stomach hasn't been settled for days, but he pushes himself to keep moving forward.

"Shut up," he says, but doesn't mean it. If anything, he hopes Hyunmin will keep talking, because Hyunmin's voice is the only reassuring thing in the entire world right now. Suhoon hates these people, these planes, everything about what he's doing, but when Hyunmin speaks, it reminds him why he's there. "I'm not doing this for you," he whispers, more to himself to somehow convince his brain that it's true than to Hyunmin.

Hyunmin hears him anyway. "You can always leave me if you get sick of me," he jokes, winking. "But don't think I won't come after you."

Suhoon gulps, his heart beating awkwardly once and he stumbles. Hyunmin leans over to help Suhoon steady himself and Suhoon whispers to him, "You promise?"

Hyunmin's expression is surprised, but he grins confidently. "Of course."

Despite himself, Suhoon feels his body relax, if only a small fraction. Hyunmin takes the handle of Suhoon's suitcase and drags it along with his own, an odd bounce in his step. The room is spinning and really way too humid, Suhoon thinks. His throat is dry, his stomach is aching and his breathing will probably never be the same. Everything feels wrong about what he's doing, but that's what tells Suhoon that, for once, he's doing the right thing.