Fuck you, Vandalism Fairy

May 26, 2009 22:25

The first visit from the Vandalism Fairy was kinda cool. It left us the guts of the coin dispensing portion of a vending machine.

It's gotten less amusing. It left us what looked like a safe that had been broken into. Its dial had been removed and it still had a screwdriver sticking out of it. The door was ajar, but the whole thing was wrapped in tape.

We reported it to the police on the off chance that they were in any way whatsoever concerned about property crime.

*pause for audience laughter to die down*

Then, I had what turned out to be a really dumb idea! There are all those signs around with numbers to report illegal dumping! This thing was illegally dumped! Perhaps if I call the city they will do something about it!

And they did! Well, they sent an inspector out, anyway. The very next day!

"The Department of Planning & Development has received a complaint alleging a code violation. Our records indicate that you are the occupant and/or taxpayer of record."

I have one month to trim back the vegetation from my sidewalk.

I suppose I should be grateful they didn't fine me for having a junk safe on my property.

Rest assured, I won't make the mistake of reporting any illegal dumping ever again.
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