Central heating hath murdered sleep.
Was feeling mostly OK today, but now my brain seems torn about whether its awake or asleep. Meh.
Really, REALLY poor sleep for the last week. The co-op turned on our heat, but apparently our system only has the settings "on" and "off", and its not cold enough outside to balance out the "on" setting :-P. From Thursday onwards I've actually had to turn on the a/c when I go to bed, b/c the fan was not enough, and its still not really fixing it. And then on a stronger setting the a/c somehow turned itself off.
This all means that its too warm for me to sleep comfortably, so even tho I can manage being unconscious for most of the night, my AWI is acting up so the sleep isn't restful. And I keep waking up from it at odd times. On a lower setting the a/c works, but it doesn't cool things off very well, and during wake-ups the machine-noises keep me awake and anxious.
And being too tired meant no going-out fun as planned this weekend. And feeling a bit rage-y at my body for still not knowing how to work properly. Luckily, I remembered my rule about brainstorming while sick being OK, but making decisions while sick is not. Otherwise I'd be on another crazy diet this week. No more crazy diets pls (tho I may try some lunch-tweaking this week), tho when I finally find that gi's number Ima see what she has to say. My stomach's been acting up too, a bit more than usual since DCon, and more than that last week.
Also realized that I've been taking the wrong dosage of SAMe for ... a while. Taking too little. So I'm increasing that this week to see what happens.
Really REALLY need to do some housecleaning soon. Not sure if I'll have time/energy until after 11/10 (friend's wedding), but its pretty awful right now. The typical dust bunnies + hair spiders, plus a whole lot of sewing debris. I could work on it for the upcoming 3-day weekend, but would rather use that for going-out and recuperating from it (just in case). Plus necessary crafty stuff, tho I'd rather work on writing. On the other hand, Samhain is a good time for ritual cleansing of the ol' chantry. And I still haven't found that GI's number :-/
Luckily, being off Friday will make doing the laundry and taking my monthly Costco trip a lot easier, yay (assuming Samhain's late nite doesn't completely F me up). According to the $$ spreadsheets I still suck at keeping to a grocery budget. But still better than I used to be. I think the monthly CC habit was a good move, and so was the slow cooker. And I did also manage to reorganize the kitchen island to make it easier to use on a regular basis, along with my other large appliances.
I am hating food less and less, but even if I had the energy to deal with full on paleo, I don't think I'd want to anymore. On the other hand, I had sweet potato chips on Friday night to see what happened, and I didn't explode, so maybe that's something else I want to play with this month. Not sure if getting a CC sized bag would be a good idea tho, *shrugs*
Wondering if I should start drinking more decaffeinated tea again, in the mornings, to see if it improves my brainfog. Especially since I'm starting to wonder if the daily dose of chocolate is too much sugar. But caffeine doesn't really keep working at the same dose over time, and I really don't want to deal with another low level chemical dependency :-P May try it at home first, Oregon Chai didn't seem to hurt me, and the caf in that must be negligible after all the milk and sugars.
At least being so uber-frustrated with my life again led me into a ton of rage-sewing, and as of Sunday have finished the two biggest overhanging projects- the Doom Coat and the wedding costume. Of course, now its too warm to wear the coat. *headdesk* I'd like to wear the black silk dress I made *last* Samhain during the hurricane for this Halloween, but it needs a crinoline, so I think I can simply make one out of an old hippie skirt. Would also like to re-hem a dress I made last year, but not sure I really have the energy for it.
I'm really done with sewing for a while. It was nice to play with that over the summer months, when my brain was too melty for more abstract work, and I was too tired to go outside in the heat. Now I would rather spend my time being out (when I have the energy, stupid sleep disorder). This is probably why I finished my DCon costume a month before con, but did not get that nice time-cushion for either of these projects. And there are a few other sewing projects that I want to finish and/or get fabric for, but I have other priorities that mean more to me right now. I may have intentionally burnt myself out on it this weekend just so I can put it away more easily.
Now that I think of it, if I could have my sewing projects while I'm on the circ desk things would probably work out a lot better. Sew at work, and write at home, b/c I hate writing in public. It requires a very different, distant mindset that doesn't work on the job at all. Sadly, bringing my sewing machine to the library isn't feasible, so Ima pack it in for a few months. Maybe I'll take something out for Winter Break, assuming I'm not sick for it. But by then I may have other projects that are more rewarding, or maybe even an actively active social life.
Of course, there are still sewing projects that I want finished. But nothing really OMG I WANT THAT until DCon, so there's time to work out whether or not its really worth it/valuable to work on that, or other projects. Tho it would be nice to have a second of the purple jacket I wear all the time now, b/c wear-all-the-time, so *maybe* if I don't have something better to do by Winter Break I'll take out those materials.
Will also have to pull out some jewelry supplies this weekend to make wedding gifts, but that shouldn't be so bad. Oh, and my own jewelry for wedding-con, which will be light since I made the whole friking costume myself. *sigh* I've also considered raiding my own stock bins for relevant shinies, cuz its not like anyone's purchased them yet.
Not feeling any pressing need to get back into jewelry right now, aside from this obligation. And now cutting sewing out of my daily life as well. Wondering if I need to add my writing project to the Samhain Sacrifice as well, but then what do I have left? And I am effectively cutting the other projects *for* this other thing. And its the only one that doesn't feel like an obligation now (yet?). I'm also very tired of going to gatherings and having only CF and gluten to talk about, eeek. At least once I get the writings together, it becomes a more social, communal art form after that. And hopefully I'll have the energy to keep up with it.
I guess I'm back to the plan/hope of building myself up to a point where the occasional setback (or SUMMER) doesn't completely paralyze me for weeks/months at a time. And at least writing requires less physical labor than the craft stuff, including wrangling and hauling and shopping for the craft stuff. Its nice having my desk cluttered with stuff that I don't feel guilty about ignoring, b/c its not jewelry supplies.
Much better omens than last week!
6 Pentacles is about working towards success and riches, but also about a harmonious balance and symbiotic relationship. Sustainability. 8 Pentacles is about achieving artistic success and finishing projects, but in this deck the character is a spider, which makes the artistry a physical dance in addition to a finished work. So body and mind need to be in alignment. King of Swords is the pinnacle of knowledge and wisdom, and maybe the wise application of force and forward movement, tho he's a bit sad too (forwards doesn't work so well during a Mercury retrograde).
So, hoping for more knowledge on how my body works this week, on what sustains me physically and intellectually so I can make with the projects. (Hopefully aside from all the sewing I just finished this weekend, ugh.) I have plenty of standing projects to work on and complete, no real interest in starting anything entirely new for a while.
It seems for me that the body needs to be balanced and aligned even if the Great Work only requires me to sit at a desk and type for an hour a day. *shrugs*
Keeping this week pretty wide open aside from the Witch-stuff on Thursday night. I thought there was also a goth party that night, but can't find it on FB now. Might be a post-Halloween Brooklyn outing on Saturday if I feel OK, might be a Wednesday nite movie if I can still get tix (spazzed out, so probably not). Tuesday Ima try to finish some crafty stuff if I can.
Still too warm to wear my now finished Doom Coat during the day. @#!$#^!#$!@$%~!!!!!!!!!! Will probably wear it to work on Wednesday anyway, to see how it will hold up for Thursday. Otherwise, pretty vintage cut dress + cat ears = enough Halloween for mees.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/
Really, REALLY poor sleep for the last week. The co-op turned on our heat, but apparently our system only has the settings "on" and "off", and its not cold enough outside to balance out the "on" setting :-P. From Thursday onwards I've actually had to turn on the a/c when I go to bed, b/c the fan was not enough, and its still not really fixing it. And then on a stronger setting the a/c somehow turned itself off.
This all means that its too warm for me to sleep comfortably, so even tho I can manage being unconscious for most of the night, my AWI is acting up so the sleep isn't restful. And I keep waking up from it at odd times. On a lower setting the a/c works, but it doesn't cool things off very well, and during wake-ups the machine-noises keep me awake and anxious.
And being too tired meant no going-out fun as planned this weekend. And feeling a bit rage-y at my body for still not knowing how to work properly. Luckily, I remembered my rule about brainstorming while sick being OK, but making decisions while sick is not. Otherwise I'd be on another crazy diet this week. No more crazy diets pls (tho I may try some lunch-tweaking this week), tho when I finally find that gi's number Ima see what she has to say. My stomach's been acting up too, a bit more than usual since DCon, and more than that last week.
Also realized that I've been taking the wrong dosage of SAMe for ... a while. Taking too little. So I'm increasing that this week to see what happens.
Really REALLY need to do some housecleaning soon. Not sure if I'll have time/energy until after 11/10 (friend's wedding), but its pretty awful right now. The typical dust bunnies + hair spiders, plus a whole lot of sewing debris. I could work on it for the upcoming 3-day weekend, but would rather use that for going-out and recuperating from it (just in case). Plus necessary crafty stuff, tho I'd rather work on writing. On the other hand, Samhain is a good time for ritual cleansing of the ol' chantry. And I still haven't found that GI's number :-/
Luckily, being off Friday will make doing the laundry and taking my monthly Costco trip a lot easier, yay (assuming Samhain's late nite doesn't completely F me up). According to the $$ spreadsheets I still suck at keeping to a grocery budget. But still better than I used to be. I think the monthly CC habit was a good move, and so was the slow cooker. And I did also manage to reorganize the kitchen island to make it easier to use on a regular basis, along with my other large appliances.
I am hating food less and less, but even if I had the energy to deal with full on paleo, I don't think I'd want to anymore. On the other hand, I had sweet potato chips on Friday night to see what happened, and I didn't explode, so maybe that's something else I want to play with this month. Not sure if getting a CC sized bag would be a good idea tho, *shrugs*
Wondering if I should start drinking more decaffeinated tea again, in the mornings, to see if it improves my brainfog. Especially since I'm starting to wonder if the daily dose of chocolate is too much sugar. But caffeine doesn't really keep working at the same dose over time, and I really don't want to deal with another low level chemical dependency :-P May try it at home first, Oregon Chai didn't seem to hurt me, and the caf in that must be negligible after all the milk and sugars.
At least being so uber-frustrated with my life again led me into a ton of rage-sewing, and as of Sunday have finished the two biggest overhanging projects- the Doom Coat and the wedding costume. Of course, now its too warm to wear the coat. *headdesk* I'd like to wear the black silk dress I made *last* Samhain during the hurricane for this Halloween, but it needs a crinoline, so I think I can simply make one out of an old hippie skirt. Would also like to re-hem a dress I made last year, but not sure I really have the energy for it.
I'm really done with sewing for a while. It was nice to play with that over the summer months, when my brain was too melty for more abstract work, and I was too tired to go outside in the heat. Now I would rather spend my time being out (when I have the energy, stupid sleep disorder). This is probably why I finished my DCon costume a month before con, but did not get that nice time-cushion for either of these projects. And there are a few other sewing projects that I want to finish and/or get fabric for, but I have other priorities that mean more to me right now. I may have intentionally burnt myself out on it this weekend just so I can put it away more easily.
Now that I think of it, if I could have my sewing projects while I'm on the circ desk things would probably work out a lot better. Sew at work, and write at home, b/c I hate writing in public. It requires a very different, distant mindset that doesn't work on the job at all. Sadly, bringing my sewing machine to the library isn't feasible, so Ima pack it in for a few months. Maybe I'll take something out for Winter Break, assuming I'm not sick for it. But by then I may have other projects that are more rewarding, or maybe even an actively active social life.
Of course, there are still sewing projects that I want finished. But nothing really OMG I WANT THAT until DCon, so there's time to work out whether or not its really worth it/valuable to work on that, or other projects. Tho it would be nice to have a second of the purple jacket I wear all the time now, b/c wear-all-the-time, so *maybe* if I don't have something better to do by Winter Break I'll take out those materials.
Will also have to pull out some jewelry supplies this weekend to make wedding gifts, but that shouldn't be so bad. Oh, and my own jewelry for wedding-con, which will be light since I made the whole friking costume myself. *sigh* I've also considered raiding my own stock bins for relevant shinies, cuz its not like anyone's purchased them yet.
Not feeling any pressing need to get back into jewelry right now, aside from this obligation. And now cutting sewing out of my daily life as well. Wondering if I need to add my writing project to the Samhain Sacrifice as well, but then what do I have left? And I am effectively cutting the other projects *for* this other thing. And its the only one that doesn't feel like an obligation now (yet?). I'm also very tired of going to gatherings and having only CF and gluten to talk about, eeek. At least once I get the writings together, it becomes a more social, communal art form after that. And hopefully I'll have the energy to keep up with it.
I guess I'm back to the plan/hope of building myself up to a point where the occasional setback (or SUMMER) doesn't completely paralyze me for weeks/months at a time. And at least writing requires less physical labor than the craft stuff, including wrangling and hauling and shopping for the craft stuff. Its nice having my desk cluttered with stuff that I don't feel guilty about ignoring, b/c its not jewelry supplies.
Much better omens than last week!
6 Pentacles is about working towards success and riches, but also about a harmonious balance and symbiotic relationship. Sustainability. 8 Pentacles is about achieving artistic success and finishing projects, but in this deck the character is a spider, which makes the artistry a physical dance in addition to a finished work. So body and mind need to be in alignment. King of Swords is the pinnacle of knowledge and wisdom, and maybe the wise application of force and forward movement, tho he's a bit sad too (forwards doesn't work so well during a Mercury retrograde).
So, hoping for more knowledge on how my body works this week, on what sustains me physically and intellectually so I can make with the projects. (Hopefully aside from all the sewing I just finished this weekend, ugh.) I have plenty of standing projects to work on and complete, no real interest in starting anything entirely new for a while.
It seems for me that the body needs to be balanced and aligned even if the Great Work only requires me to sit at a desk and type for an hour a day. *shrugs*
Keeping this week pretty wide open aside from the Witch-stuff on Thursday night. I thought there was also a goth party that night, but can't find it on FB now. Might be a post-Halloween Brooklyn outing on Saturday if I feel OK, might be a Wednesday nite movie if I can still get tix (spazzed out, so probably not). Tuesday Ima try to finish some crafty stuff if I can.
Still too warm to wear my now finished Doom Coat during the day. @#!$#^!#$!@$%~!!!!!!!!!! Will probably wear it to work on Wednesday anyway, to see how it will hold up for Thursday. Otherwise, pretty vintage cut dress + cat ears = enough Halloween for mees.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/