I guess I've transitioned to myspace for all intents and purposes.

The other night I bought this local version of a cream soda called Jones. When I went to throw the cap away I noticed that it had a little message on the underside. I thought it might be contest. Turns out the manufaturer is running little quasi-inspirational messages - it says in the fine print that the quips are ripped off of actual fortune ( Read more... )

I was going to come on here a few days ago and bitch about how a three day migraine that completely engulfed my birthday was either an accurate portent of the year to come or perfect encapsulation of the year now passed, but instead I've had a great revelation...well, not really, but I do love this quote ( Read more... )

Henry Sugar discovered the world in the black of a candle.

Your Birthdate: June 2

Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life ( Read more... )

Their's an ice cream machine here at work. It automatically opens a deep-freeze and then position a robotic arm above the appropriate selection, reaches down and, using a suction device, retrieves the icecream, delivering it to the drop zone at the front. Unlike the claw games at arcades, I'm a winner everytime. The excitement of that still hasn't ( Read more... )

"President George Bush was bundled into an underground bunker, Dick Cheney was evacuated to an "undisclosed location" and heavily armed secret servicemen took up defensive positions when a fast-moving cloud scudded towards the White House, it was reported yesterday."

Do you look up to see if it's raining?

The quest for the unified theory recognizes a simple basic truth. The current understanding of Quantum Physics and Relativity renders the two incompatible in a single universe. Now, without asking what we fail to recognize that would allow us to bridge the gap in reasoning, by pretending our understanding of the two subjects is complete, what could ( Read more... )

Today I briefly considered injecting cellulite into my bottom end. It seemed, for a few minutes, the perfect solution to my ongoing belt/trouser fiasco, in which my having no rear to speak of causes me untold difficulties in performing the simplest of tasks which most people are able to take for granted. Things like walking, sitting, standing, ( Read more... )