Organizing my thoughts...
Yeeeeaaah, it's been hectic, and it's not getting any easier. Mutti's biting my head off about my schedule, but I need someplace to write it all down and not feel weird about it.
Today: Extended family at four. I still have to shower, and my room is amazingly cluttered.
Tomorrow: Memorial Day, so I don't know what we'll be dong. But I need to buy/make my dress for Prom, as well as finish any homework that I may have forgotten about. For example, I'm, pretty sure that my Japanese final is due this week, unless it's next week, and I haven't even finished the script. Bollocks.
Tuesday: Okay, can I just say that Shane was a huge disappointment? And that the endocrine system is slightly boring? And I still don't understand conic sections? My brain is suffering from hormones (TAKE THAT, ANATOMY) and lack of serotonin (OH YES). Anyway, there's a rehearsal for the Spring Concert at six.
Wednesday: Spring Concert at seven, have to get there at five-thirty. Need black dress AND jeans+place-name shirt. What a pain, especially considering how I lost all my abilities to sing in the war. Nah, we'll do great.
Thursday: Invitational concert during third period. I still have to get Ms Horita to sign the thing.
Friday: We were supposed to have elections for Art Club last week. But then everyone took to long passing their bribes food around, people let their speeches run slightly wild (It's okay, Marium, you did great with your rap anyway), and the presidents didn't get to say anything. So voting (and the conclusion of campaigning) have been postponed to this Friday. Really, this is good for me. It gives me time to actually write a speech (and I still can't get past "my fellow Americans.."), make BETTER cookies (I don't know what I did, but they just didn't come out right this time around), and make a poster. At least the poster is done. It's got Robyn, the Boy Blunder, as well as the TARDIS and myself, on it. Hurray! *eyetwitch* Despite all this, for some reason the whole rescheduling thing really upset me.
Saturday: Art Club Banquet (possibly), then PROM. Which kind of snuck up on me, honestly. And there's no one I can blame but myself. I need a dress and an attitude adjustment. I can't help but get really anxious about it... Rurgh.
And I'll stop there.
It's clear that I really don't have it that bad. But I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.
Though that's also my fault... --'
It might seem strange, but this leads me to talk about that one issue I always attempt to avoid. Berlyne.
I don't think I love her anymore.
Not that I ever did...
Or did I?
Because I am a bratwurst with a pathological need to be right while simultaneously seeming Ridiculously Immature, I am blaming her. She never took the initiative in our relationship, because we never actually had a relationship in the first place. We skirted around the topic for awhile, but our relations were always very platonic. Vaguely creepy, yes, but platonic. I think I definitely felt for her at one point, but she never really opened up for me. She would have been an experiment if anything had ever happened between us. But when it came down to it, I could never do it.
So what does that mean for me? What should I do now?
...
*reads what she just wrote*
WHAT A PACK OF WHINES.
*shakes head at self*
Sorry.
Today: Extended family at four. I still have to shower, and my room is amazingly cluttered.
Tomorrow: Memorial Day, so I don't know what we'll be dong. But I need to buy/make my dress for Prom, as well as finish any homework that I may have forgotten about. For example, I'm, pretty sure that my Japanese final is due this week, unless it's next week, and I haven't even finished the script. Bollocks.
Tuesday: Okay, can I just say that Shane was a huge disappointment? And that the endocrine system is slightly boring? And I still don't understand conic sections? My brain is suffering from hormones (TAKE THAT, ANATOMY) and lack of serotonin (OH YES). Anyway, there's a rehearsal for the Spring Concert at six.
Wednesday: Spring Concert at seven, have to get there at five-thirty. Need black dress AND jeans+place-name shirt. What a pain, especially considering how I lost all my abilities to sing in the war. Nah, we'll do great.
Thursday: Invitational concert during third period. I still have to get Ms Horita to sign the thing.
Friday: We were supposed to have elections for Art Club last week. But then everyone took to long passing their bribes food around, people let their speeches run slightly wild (It's okay, Marium, you did great with your rap anyway), and the presidents didn't get to say anything. So voting (and the conclusion of campaigning) have been postponed to this Friday. Really, this is good for me. It gives me time to actually write a speech (and I still can't get past "my fellow Americans.."), make BETTER cookies (I don't know what I did, but they just didn't come out right this time around), and make a poster. At least the poster is done. It's got Robyn, the Boy Blunder, as well as the TARDIS and myself, on it. Hurray! *eyetwitch* Despite all this, for some reason the whole rescheduling thing really upset me.
Saturday: Art Club Banquet (possibly), then PROM. Which kind of snuck up on me, honestly. And there's no one I can blame but myself. I need a dress and an attitude adjustment. I can't help but get really anxious about it... Rurgh.
And I'll stop there.
It's clear that I really don't have it that bad. But I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.
Though that's also my fault... --'
It might seem strange, but this leads me to talk about that one issue I always attempt to avoid. Berlyne.
I don't think I love her anymore.
Not that I ever did...
Or did I?
Because I am a bratwurst with a pathological need to be right while simultaneously seeming Ridiculously Immature, I am blaming her. She never took the initiative in our relationship, because we never actually had a relationship in the first place. We skirted around the topic for awhile, but our relations were always very platonic. Vaguely creepy, yes, but platonic. I think I definitely felt for her at one point, but she never really opened up for me. She would have been an experiment if anything had ever happened between us. But when it came down to it, I could never do it.
So what does that mean for me? What should I do now?
...
*reads what she just wrote*
WHAT A PACK OF WHINES.
*shakes head at self*
Sorry.