glitch
secret lines started out as this ficlet, which is just over two pages of Brendon and Ryan and their shop full of inventions (and Alexes). I ended up scrapping it in favour of writing the backstory, but I just found it in one of my folders and thought I'd share.
Glitch
It had been a long day running errands for Mr. Urie. Alex was exhausted, throwing himself down into one of the chairs at the table where the shop staff met with customers and took their orders. Marshall sat down beside him, looking as dragged out as Alex felt. "I can't believe I had to carry that huge clock all the way across town," he complained.
Johnson rolled his eyes, counting out the last of the cash and shutting the register. "You didn't," he reminded him, putting the money into the lockbox for Mr. Urie to take to the bank in the morning. He came over and took a seat, stretching his arms in front of him. "You carried it to the carriage, and then out of the carriage. You hardly did any work at all."
"There were a lot of steps," Marshall said defensively, "and it's not like you -"
He was interrupted by the jangle of bells that hung above the shop door. "We're closed," Alex called out.
"Not to me you're not," said Cash, locking the door behind them, and Alex brightened. Cash was a friend of theirs who did odd jobs around town; from the state of his clothes, it looked like he'd been cleaning chimneys that day. He glanced at them each in turn and then nodded as if reaching a conclusion. "You look like some men in need of gossip," he said.
"Yes, that's exactly what we need," Alex scoffed, but that didn't stop him from perking up a little, and Cash grinned.
"I heard," he said, dropping his voice, making them all lean in to hear him. "I heard that Ross is actually a robot that Mr. Urie made himself."
"No way," Marshall said, voice hushed.
"Ian said so," Cash said, and Johnson rolled his eyes.
"Oh, if Ian said so, it must be true."
"Don't be so jealous, Johnson," Alex whispered, even though he looked a little green with envy himself. "What did Ian say about him?"
"I don't know, that he's a robot that Mr. Urie built? That's kind of it."
"That doesn't even make sense," Johnson said. "His husband was in the papers all the time before they got together. Do you really think he built himself a fiancé, sent him out to, like, debauch the general public, and then decided to marry him him? Yeah, sure."
"Maybe there was some kind of glitch," Marshall offered. "Like with the birds, the way they're always flying into things."
"Right, okay, so the birds get a glitch and bang into things, but Ross has sex with half of Lanverne?" Johnson shook his head. "And another thing -"
"Aren't you boys supposed to be gone home for the night?" Ryan's voice, perfectly lacking in inflection, asked them from the landing of the stairs leading up to the apartment over the shop. The four of them jumped, staring up at him wordlessly, until Alex poked Cash in the side and Cash nodded, smiling widely.
"Yes, sir, I just came to say hello, but we were just on our way out, weren't we?" The other three nodded in agreement, scrambling for their belongings.
"Good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to -" Ryan frowned, looking blank as he stammered, then shook his head and smiled woodenly at them. "Good, I'd like to close up. Have a good night, gentlemen."
"You too," Alex said absently, watching in fascination as Ryan turned and banged right into the wall before regaining his sense of direction and going back up around the corner of the staircase.
"I told you," Marshall hissed as they hurry out the door. "It must have been a glitch, just like the birds."
Their bickering voices faded as the door slammed shut behind them. On the stairwell to the upstairs apartment, just out of sight, Brendon broke out into the laughter he'd been struggling to contain ever since Cash showed up with his gossip. "Oh my god, Ryan," he said. "You're such a jackass."
Ryan grinned, sitting down on the stairs. "Yeah, well, if word gets around that you can make robots that look like me, business will pick up in no time."
"You're such a narcissistic jackass," Brendon amended as he sat, still laughing when Ryan leaned in for a kiss. "And just what," he said, pulling away for a moment, "am I supposed to do when they all show up for their made-to-order Ryans and I can't make them any?"
"Oh, right," Ryan said. "Maybe you could build some that look like you, then? It wouldn't be half as complicated."
"Don't make me deprogram you," Brendon retorted.
"Sorry," said Ryan, kissing the corner of Brendon's mouth.
"Apology accepted," Brendon said, still close enough that their lips brushed when he spoke. "That is, of course, under the provision that you come to bed with me right now."
"I find myself agreeable to your terms, Mr. Urie," Ryan said. "I just need to lock up first."
"Don't take long," Brendon said, sliding closer to Ryan and kissing him again until they were both flushed and breathless. Ryan was grinning to himself all the way down the stairs, distracted enough that he tripped over the last two. He would have gone sprawling had it not been for Johnson, who stepped back inside just in time to catch Ryan's arm.
"You all right, sir?" he asked, and Ryan nodded.
"Just a glitch," he said, and tried to keep his face expressionless as Johnson blinked, then dropped his arm quickly, stepping back.
"I just came back for my pack, sir," he said, grabbing up the satchel he'd left forgotten on the table. "I'll be out of your way, then."
"Good," Ryan replied, "I'd like to - good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to -"
"Good night, sir," Johnson said, hurrying out the door just as quickly as the first time he'd left, and Ryan snickered, bolting the door behind him.
Glitch
It had been a long day running errands for Mr. Urie. Alex was exhausted, throwing himself down into one of the chairs at the table where the shop staff met with customers and took their orders. Marshall sat down beside him, looking as dragged out as Alex felt. "I can't believe I had to carry that huge clock all the way across town," he complained.
Johnson rolled his eyes, counting out the last of the cash and shutting the register. "You didn't," he reminded him, putting the money into the lockbox for Mr. Urie to take to the bank in the morning. He came over and took a seat, stretching his arms in front of him. "You carried it to the carriage, and then out of the carriage. You hardly did any work at all."
"There were a lot of steps," Marshall said defensively, "and it's not like you -"
He was interrupted by the jangle of bells that hung above the shop door. "We're closed," Alex called out.
"Not to me you're not," said Cash, locking the door behind them, and Alex brightened. Cash was a friend of theirs who did odd jobs around town; from the state of his clothes, it looked like he'd been cleaning chimneys that day. He glanced at them each in turn and then nodded as if reaching a conclusion. "You look like some men in need of gossip," he said.
"Yes, that's exactly what we need," Alex scoffed, but that didn't stop him from perking up a little, and Cash grinned.
"I heard," he said, dropping his voice, making them all lean in to hear him. "I heard that Ross is actually a robot that Mr. Urie made himself."
"No way," Marshall said, voice hushed.
"Ian said so," Cash said, and Johnson rolled his eyes.
"Oh, if Ian said so, it must be true."
"Don't be so jealous, Johnson," Alex whispered, even though he looked a little green with envy himself. "What did Ian say about him?"
"I don't know, that he's a robot that Mr. Urie built? That's kind of it."
"That doesn't even make sense," Johnson said. "His husband was in the papers all the time before they got together. Do you really think he built himself a fiancé, sent him out to, like, debauch the general public, and then decided to marry him him? Yeah, sure."
"Maybe there was some kind of glitch," Marshall offered. "Like with the birds, the way they're always flying into things."
"Right, okay, so the birds get a glitch and bang into things, but Ross has sex with half of Lanverne?" Johnson shook his head. "And another thing -"
"Aren't you boys supposed to be gone home for the night?" Ryan's voice, perfectly lacking in inflection, asked them from the landing of the stairs leading up to the apartment over the shop. The four of them jumped, staring up at him wordlessly, until Alex poked Cash in the side and Cash nodded, smiling widely.
"Yes, sir, I just came to say hello, but we were just on our way out, weren't we?" The other three nodded in agreement, scrambling for their belongings.
"Good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to -" Ryan frowned, looking blank as he stammered, then shook his head and smiled woodenly at them. "Good, I'd like to close up. Have a good night, gentlemen."
"You too," Alex said absently, watching in fascination as Ryan turned and banged right into the wall before regaining his sense of direction and going back up around the corner of the staircase.
"I told you," Marshall hissed as they hurry out the door. "It must have been a glitch, just like the birds."
Their bickering voices faded as the door slammed shut behind them. On the stairwell to the upstairs apartment, just out of sight, Brendon broke out into the laughter he'd been struggling to contain ever since Cash showed up with his gossip. "Oh my god, Ryan," he said. "You're such a jackass."
Ryan grinned, sitting down on the stairs. "Yeah, well, if word gets around that you can make robots that look like me, business will pick up in no time."
"You're such a narcissistic jackass," Brendon amended as he sat, still laughing when Ryan leaned in for a kiss. "And just what," he said, pulling away for a moment, "am I supposed to do when they all show up for their made-to-order Ryans and I can't make them any?"
"Oh, right," Ryan said. "Maybe you could build some that look like you, then? It wouldn't be half as complicated."
"Don't make me deprogram you," Brendon retorted.
"Sorry," said Ryan, kissing the corner of Brendon's mouth.
"Apology accepted," Brendon said, still close enough that their lips brushed when he spoke. "That is, of course, under the provision that you come to bed with me right now."
"I find myself agreeable to your terms, Mr. Urie," Ryan said. "I just need to lock up first."
"Don't take long," Brendon said, sliding closer to Ryan and kissing him again until they were both flushed and breathless. Ryan was grinning to himself all the way down the stairs, distracted enough that he tripped over the last two. He would have gone sprawling had it not been for Johnson, who stepped back inside just in time to catch Ryan's arm.
"You all right, sir?" he asked, and Ryan nodded.
"Just a glitch," he said, and tried to keep his face expressionless as Johnson blinked, then dropped his arm quickly, stepping back.
"I just came back for my pack, sir," he said, grabbing up the satchel he'd left forgotten on the table. "I'll be out of your way, then."
"Good," Ryan replied, "I'd like to - good, I'd like to - good, I'd like to -"
"Good night, sir," Johnson said, hurrying out the door just as quickly as the first time he'd left, and Ryan snickered, bolting the door behind him.