lmfao [jongkey] [1/1]
Title: LMFAO
Pairing: Jongkey
Genre: Humor, Genral
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,852
Disclaimer(s): I own nothing.
Summary: Their prank wars always escalated and this time Jinki's out for revenge.
A/N: Thank you my lovely beta, coatofmanos! For twinklespink , the birthday girl!
It started off like any plan the dynamic duo of SHINee conjured up; with evil intentions. It was never a good idea to have five teenage boys living in one house together, even worse if two of the boys were Kim Jonghyun and Kim Kibum. Wars would begin, normally harmless enough, but there was always a chance they would escalate. And escalate they did, into some unintentional occurences.
Jonghyun:
i'm bored
Kibum:
go bother minho
Jonghyun:
no
Kibum:
y not? that's like, your fav thing to do
Jonghyun:
this is hm right now -->
*him
Jonghyun:
i don't want to interrupt that
Kibum:
o, ya, ur right
Kibum:
who else is there?
Jonghyun:
jinki
Kibum:
.........
Jonghyun:
........
Jonghyun:
Kibum:
wat is that? o.0 nvm, i don't even want to know
Jonghyun:
want to help me with sumthing?
Kibum:
wat do u have in mind?
Jonghyun:
idk, doing sumthing that will screw with jinki's head ] ;- D
Kibum:
......
this is why i love you!
This was how all of their prank wars began. One of them would be bored and then BAM. The SHINee dorm would be thrown into a tornado of late nights sneaking around and early morning trips to the convienient store to purchase supplies. They got pretty creative, since they weren't allowed to actually harm anything on the person they were pranking. (They learned this the hard way when Manager hyung discovered a very green haired Kibum, because Taemin didn't play around, and chewed them out for hours afterwards.)
Currently, Jonghyun and Kibum were cautiously tip toeing out of their bedroom. They had to slip into the kitchen, retrieve the bottles they had stashed in a cupboard, and arrange them messily around the sleeping form of their leader without alerting the older teen to what they were doing.
This was much easier said than done for a person of Jonghyun's grace. "Jjong, shut the hell up," Kibum hissed after the second time his ears were met with the sound of clanging bottles.
"Sorry," Jonghyun whispered back and he walked with exaggerated footsteps towards the couch where Jinki was deeply asleep, careful to not let the contents of the bag in his hand clink together anymore.
When they finally made it, they arranged their splay of empty suju bottles from the bag on and around the couch. Jonghyun stepped back to admire their handiwork, glad he had spent the time rummaging through the dumpster out back to find the empty bottles. With a snicker, Kibum added the final touch; a sticky note with girlish hand writing scrawled sloppily across it slapped onto Jinki's forehead. Simultaneously they wtihdrew their cell phones and began snapping pictures of their unsuspecting victim.
-----
The next morning, as Jinki stirred awake, he was met with a loud gasp. Cracking open his thin eyes he discovered the maknae of the group standing with an open mouth at the entryway from the hallway to the living room.
"What is it?' He croaked, throat dry from sleep. That's when he felt something on on his face and noticed the green glass bottles discarded around him haphazordly. "Oh my god!"
His shriek seemed to snap Taemin out of his haze. He rushed over and grabbed up the note stuck to his forehead. His shocked face quickly turned to that of disgust.
"Hyung, really?' He looked up and shook his head in dissapointment. Jinki's hand shot forward to snatch the note from the teen, taking it in his own to read.
"Oh .. Oh my god, this can't be real," Jinki stammered, eyes growing wider every time he reread the heart riddled note. The name signed at the bottom made him nearly choke on his own spit. "Jung Juri?" It felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. The empty suju bottles, the note ... This was not real.
Taemin walked away, continuing to shake his head in dissaproval. Jinki's mouth gaped open in bewilderment for a good minute, his groggy mind still trying to decipher the current situation. Once he got a grip on his thoughts he whipped out his phone without hesitation. He quickly pounded in a text to his noona, thumbs slightly shaking.
To: Jung Juri Keke
did we do anything last night?!
He rubbed his hand over his face and his foot tapped impatiently against the floor. This couldn't be right, he remembered falling asleep the night before to some old sitcom. That's all he had done, right? Jinki glanced down at the empty bottles and gulped audibly.
He nearly jumped when his phone vibrated with a new text.
To: Onew Darling
Should we have?
To: Jung Juri Keke
no! thank you, noona!
To: Onew Darling
You know, if you're interested I'll be in the city this evening. ;)
To: Jung Juri Keke
um ... i think i have a packed schedule, sorry
To: Onew Darling
Fine then. (TToTT)
To: Jung Juri Keke
sorry! maybe next time
Jinki hastily pocketed his phone again, he felt bad leaving the woman hanging but he was not going to dig himself into a painfully uncomfortable dinner because he couldn't say no. He removed himself from the couch, nose wrinkling when the smell of alcohol overtook his senses. Alcohol made him sick just to smell, there was no possible way he drank all of this; he felt way too good.
"Tae?" He called while padding into the kitchen, "Do you know where the others are?"
Taemin's short ponytail bobbed up and down. "Still in bed," he answered shortly, consumed with the task of shoving as much food as possible into his small body before Kibum could come in and stop him.
Jinki watched with mild wonder as the teen seemed to breath in a bowl of ramen, with something like jelly on top of it, before moving on to a bowl of rice smothered in hot sauce. That could not be healthy. He shook his head and left the kitchen, in search of the other group members. He would believe Minho was still sleeping, but Jonghyun and Kibum? It was as if their bodies agreed with their plan to agitate as many people as possible, because they were always up at the crack of dawn, talking and laughing obnoxiously with each other and overall distrupting the rest of SHINee's sleep.
Peering into their shared bedroom, Jinki let out a noise of shock when he saw that Kibum and Jonghyun were for a fact still fast alseep in their bunks. Ignoring the boy, who was way too tall, stretched across the three bottom beds, Jinki stepped lightly onto his own bed to get a closer look at the two sleeping forms. Wow, this had to be a first, really.
Jinki lightly poked Jonghyun's cheek, revelling at the thought he could do whatever he wanted to the younger man and get him back for the years of pranks Jonghyun had dealt out. Jinki chuckled, but as he leaned down to mess with the blond more, he felt his stomach churn violently as a familiar scent rose to his nose. Jognhyun stunk of suju. Jinki's eyes narrowed, everything made sense now.
"You little," Jinki muttered, looking between the two slumbering forms. Initially he planned to just go back out and complain to Taemin, but an idea struck him just as he was about to jump off his bed. This could be his only chance to get back at them without reprecussions.
Jinki had to manuever around Minho's splayed body, careful not to step on any of his long limbs, as he made his way to Kibum's bedside. There was something he always wanted to try and if it worked it would be the ultimate revenge. Bending over the side of the top bunk, Jinki put his face right next to Kibum's ear and began whispering the same phrase repeatedly. He couldn't remember how many times he should repeat the phrase to make sure it would reach Kibum's subconscious mind, so he just kept going until he got bored.
When he finished, Jinki pumped a fist victoriously in the air and silently cheered. What he didn't see was the sharp pair of feline eyes slid open and watch Jinki as he left the room, a clever smile creeping onto the supposedly sleeping man's face.
-----
Kibum stayed prone in his bed for another half hour, not wanting to get up too quickly and put Jinki on edge. When he did get up, he entered the kitchen with fake drowsiness in his features. Jinki greeted him brightly from where he was seated beside Taemin at the kitchen table, but Kibum merely grunted in response before heading to the coffee pot. As he made his coffee, he made sure to prepare a second cup also, because Jonghyun's biological clock was nearly the same as his. Jonghyun should have been rolling out of bed any time now.
"Did you sleep well?" Jinki asked, barely repressing his giddiness.
Kibum took a gulp of his coffee. "Yeah, weird dreams, though," he said, voice deep and rough like it normally was when he first woke up.
A large grin spread across Jinki's face, which he tried to hide behind his hands but failed. Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but shrugged it off. What an idiot.
Just as he predicted, five minutes didn't pass before Jonghyun's loud footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. He stopped walking just past the kitchen's entrance, squinting and taking in the scene. He rubbed at the sleep in his eyes and then shuffled over to grab his cup of coffee.
Before he had a chance to pick up his mug, Kibum moved forward and caught his hand. Jonghyun looked up lazily, not expecting a pair of plush lips to be mashed against his the next moment. He made a small noise of protest, hand stretching for his cup of coffee, but Kibum just coiled his arms around Jonghyun and deepened the kiss.
From their view as the audience, Taemin nearly choked on his juice. "Hyungs!" He squeaked, covering his eyes.
Jinki's mouth dropped open and he stared in shock. Did, did his plan really work? His chair scratched across the floor as he shot up. "Holy shit!" He exclaimed, eyes wide and smile stretched impossibly far. "I'm like a god or something!" He ran out of the room, intent on using his newly discovered powers on the still sleeping Minho.
As soon as he was out of sight and hearing range, Kibum broke the kiss and pulled away. He leaned back against the counter casually, returning his attention to his breakfast. Jonghyun stood blinking and then reached for his own breakfast.
"What was that about?" He asked, eyes falling back to their normal size.
Kibum grinned. "Just continuing with our plan."
Jonghyun nodded, not really understanding, but not complaining either.
"By the way, you should brush your teeth after you wake up."
"Maybe you shouldn't stick your tongue down my throat so early in the morning."
Taemin watched the exchange with a horrified expression, gaze darting between the way too relaxed hyungs in front of him to the ecstatic man prancing through the halls shouting nonsense. His mother said teenagers were crazy.
A/N: Haha, so I'm actually really unhappy with how this turned out, but w/e. As long as the birthday girl likes it, it'll be okay! (Which means you need to lie and say you like it, pretty please? xD)