[Fic] A Red Thread and Crystal Tears
Part II
A week have passed since that night and Jin had never felt happier.
Kazuya had left him in the hotel the morning after they had made love, said he had work and would wait for Jin in Tokyo instead. Jin agreed and kissed Kazuya endless before they parted ways. Jin felt happiest that day because Kazuya made love to him twice, confessed his feelings and whispered sweet nothings to him before the younger left. Once the hotel room's door was closed again, Jin went back to sleep, cuddled the pillow Kazuya had used and dreamt of the younger male.
Oh, he felt wonderful the whole week. It was heaven.
He was now back in Tokyo and Jin was very happy. He'd be able to see Kazuya again. A week seemed so long and he hated the days when Kazuya wasn't next to him. Oh, he was so in love!
Jin isn't sappy but he kind of liked the feeling. Well, he actually more than liked it. The mere thought of finally seeing Kazuya again and hold him again was enough to send Jin to a different kind of high, all in good spirit.
A smile graced his lips. Jin bit his lower lip to keep his happiness contained all to himself and maybe, to hide that stupid grin threatened to show.
He wanted a new start and he wanted to spend the coming days of his life with Kazuya. Jin knew he had to do what was to be done. The moment he stepped foot in Tokyo, he went straight to Yuna's house and called their relationship off. He had apologized while she cried and left only when Yuna had calmed down and asked him to leave. Jin did and he never heard from her ever again.
---
Jin opened his door when he heard knocks and was stunned to see who it was.
"Jin."
"Yuna..."
"Why? I still can't accept it, Jin. You haven't explained it well. You came rushing to my house and had told me that we're over. Why, Jin?" she asked, never set foot inside Jin's apartment.
"I'm not yet ready for a commitment, I guess." Jin showed off a shrug.
"Cut the crap and stop lying!" she said. She was mad but still faced Jin with a calm expression and yet, Jin had decided to lie.
"I'm not-"
"You used me, Jin." she said, her voice cold and hurt.
Jin would've lied, but he knew better. Yuna was a clever woman and he admired her for that.
"I'm sorry, Yuna." Jin said sincerely. Yuna deserved his apology. It was only proper to give her that.
Yuna felt warm moisture form in her eyes. "I knew it." she said. "I failed to replace the person you loved before me."
"I was a fool to think that the person I was with before you could be replaced. I loved him too much." Jin said under his breath, tried to keep his voice as low as possible. He wanted to lie but Yuna deserved only the truth.
"Him?" Yuna's eyes were wide from shock and disbelief.
"Yes," Jin looked up to the woman, "Him."
"What's his name?" Yuna managed to ask.
Jin chose to remain quiet at that moment. He wouldn't want to risk his and Kazuya's relationship to the public.
"Never mind." Yuna suddenly said, wiped her eyes as discreetly as possible. "It's Kamenashi, isn't it?"
It was Jin's turn to be shocked. He looked at Yuna and said, "Please don't tell anybody. I am really sorry for the pain I've caused you but please, don't tell anybody." he practically begged.
Yuna stared at the man. She knew, deep inside her, that she never owned Jin. Even though they were together, Jin seemed to be distant. It was as if he wasn’t next to her. She knew Jin was occupied, bothered by something, rather someone, else. Jin had been good to her even though she became his fallback. He'd always been a good friend and had played the boyfriend part quite well too while they were in public. She admired him and gave him her heart.
Unfortunately, the reward was already taken even if the battle has just begun.
"I won't." she said, kept a calm façade even if she wanted to break down at that exact moment.
Jin let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you, Yuna. I knew you'd understand!"
"I won't tell anybody if you kiss me; right now, at this exact place."
Suffice to say, Jin was taken aback with Yuna's request.
"I probably should hate you and expose you and Kamenashi-san to the public but I am giving you my word that I will remain quiet if you give me a kiss in exchange for my silence." Yuna said. "Don't you think it's only fair?"
"You promise to not expose this to the public?" Jin had to ask. He’d do everything to keep what he and Kazuya had a secret. They needed to be prudent if they are going to take their relationship seriously.
"I promise, Akanishi Jin." she said and waited for Jin to claim her lips. Jin did.
---
Kazuya was happily walking along the hallway, humming a tune, ended it with a whisper of 'Special Happiness.' He was happy. Jin had told him to come over his house so they could make up for the times they weren't together.
He missed Jin.
Kazuya took another step forward; a smile was on his lips. A few more steps and he'd be in front of Jin's doorstep. Kazuya's eyes watched the floor as he took another step; left, right, left, right, left, right.
The moment he looked up, he saw two figures by Jin's door; kissing. The woman was holding onto the front of Jin's shirt while Jin had his hands on the woman's waist.
Kazuya knew her. He knew Yuna by heart already. It hurt. It fucking hurt to see Jin and Yuna together again. He felt betrayed.
Jin felt the piercing stare, the hurt look boring into his very soul. He pulled away from the woman and looked to his left. His eyes grew wide when he recognized the figure standing a few feet away from him and Yuna.
Yuna immediately felt something was wrong. She opened her eyes to see what it was and saw Jin looking quite horrified. She turned her head to see what Jin was occupied with and she stood there frozen.
"Kazuya..."
"Kamenashi-san..."
Kazuya smiled bitterly when he heard them say his name in unison. They were perfect for each other; Jin and Yuna.
"Kazuya, it's not what you think it is." Jin tried to explain.
Kazuya smiled at them despite the painful clenching of his heart. "I was a fool to believe that you still love me." he said with a voice as cold as ice. His eyes were directed to Jin even though his vision was getting blurred. It hurt. It hurt to know that he never would be enough for Jin. It hurt so much because he had believed he and Jin would be better this time around.
"No, Kazuya! It isn't-"
"I know what I saw! Fuck you for playing me for a fool!" Kazuya snapped. "I never wanted to try again but you came to me and told me what I wanted to hear!"
"Kamenashi-san-"
"This will be the last time I will allow you to hurt me, Jin." he said, pulled out a red bracelet from his pocket.
"We're over." Kazuya told Jin and turned to look at Yuna. "I am sorry for intruding into your relationship, Yuna-san." he apologized to the woman. She had done nothing wrong to him and he should feel bad for hating her when he actually didn't know her. He had judged her for shallow reasons. Today, he was able to confirm that Jin won't be his like the way he had used to. He was happy with Yuna. What he saw was enough confirmation of that. Besides, Yuna had done nothing wrong and she deserved to be happy.
"Kamenashi-san, you're mistaken-"
"Do you love him?" Kazuya asked, flinched away from Jin when the other tried to hold him.
Yuna looked down the floor, not wanting to answer the question. She just had her heart broken and it'd be awful to confess her feelings now too.
"Answer me, Yuna. Do you love Jin?"
Jin stared at the two, confused. He doesn't know where this situation would lead them but he was sure of one thing; he didn't like it. No, not the slightest bit.
"Yes. I do. I do love Jin, Kamenashi-san."
Mistaken? He was mistaken? Kazuya wanted to laugh bitterly but refused to do so. Instead, he held Yuna's right hand and forced her palm open. "Take this. Jin especially looked for it and that's a part of the thing called the red thread of destiny. Keep it. I wish you happiness, Yuna. You're a good woman and," Kazuya paused, looked at Jin. It hurt. Their eyes met and he was sure Jin could see how hurt and wounded he was. Jin's eyes were pleading him for something Kazuya didn't know what.
Unable to hold on to his feelings any longer, Kazuya turned to Yuna again and said, "Jin told me he loves you very much," he paused a little and said, "And that he would want to spend his lifetime with you, Yuna-chan."
Jin's eyes grew even wide. What was Kazuya doing? What was he saying? His eyes grew big as he watched Kazuya give Yuna his part of their red thread.
Truth be told, Jin was never that fond of the accessory. He had always thought that it was childish of Kazuya to have bought such trivial things and relate it to their relationship. He only wore his necklace because Kazuya had told him so. Jin was sure he wouldn't have done it if the younger didn't say so. But it has changed now. Everything has changed already. By giving away that small detail of their relationship, Kazuya had let him go and had no plans of ever coming back to Jin.
Why now, when that bracelet has become Jin's assurance that he and Kazuya would stay together after they've just made up?
"Kazuya, listen!" Jin said in panic as he watched Kazuya place the thing on Yuna's palm.
Kazuya let go of the accessory. "Let's not waste our time, Akanishi." the younger male replied before he turned his back on the two.
It was over. His battle was finally over and sadly, he was the one who lost.
"Kazuya! Kazuya!" Jin called out but the younger didn't look back. "Let me go! Fuck! I need to talk to him! Let go if you don't want to get hurt!" he scowled at the woman who had linked their arms together.
"Let him go, Jin." Yuna said. "Give him time to cool off. He won't listen right now because he was hurt." she continued. "I am going to talk to him so keep your cool."
"Fuck! If not for your condition he wouldn't be hurt!"
A slap greeted Jin's cheek for a reply. He stared at the woman in disbelief and saw the tears Yuna had tried to keep from falling.
"You hurt me. You. used. me. I should be the one getting mad at you, Jin, and not the other way around."
"Yuna-"
"Stay here. I'll go talk to him." she said, wiped her tears.
"Don't." Jin managed to say before she walked away. "Forget it. I guess, we're not really meant to be." he said, a sorrowful look was written on his face.
Yuna looked at him and saw the hint of determination in Jin's eyes.
"If that's what you want..." she answered, did not bother to argue anymore. The day was too exhausting and draining and she wanted to have a rest. She bid Jin goodbye before she finally left.
Jin closed his door, slid down the floor with his back pressed against the wooden frame. He pulled his knees up, bent his head in between them as he started to cry. The tears were unstoppable for he had lost his love. It was over. He and Kazuya were over. After everything they've been through, Kazuya finally gave up. He had hurt the love of his life and he was sure Kazuya won't ever come back.
It hurt. It hurt to know that someone could do a better job on taking care of Kazuya, of loving the younger male when he had promised Kazuya he would be that person. It hurt because Kazuya had given up. The younger had chosen to live a separate life from him. It hurt knowing that he was the reason for Kazuya's tears. It broke his heart to see Kazuya feel sorrow again because of him. It broke him to know that Kazuya had finally given up on him, on them.
A muffled sob escaped his lips as Jin continued to cry and allow his tears to wash away the pain. It was over. It was enough. He should be happy that he could look back to those wonderful memories he had created with the younger male, with his Kazuya.
---
Kazuya refused to cry. He just stayed inside his car, felt numb all over. He didn't want this to end up badly but it seems that fate isn't on their side.
Soft knocks on his window distracted him from his thoughts. Kazuya turned to see who it was and saw the woman he envied. He silently wished he had driven away the minute he had settled inside his car. If he did, he'd probably not have to talk to her.
"Yes?" he asked the moment he was out of his car. He faked a smile and he wondered if Yuna believed he was happy.
"Kamenashi-san," she started, "I admit I love Jin but it was you who was in his heart."
"You don't actually believe that." Kazuya said with a calm voice.
"I never wanted to." she answered firmly. "But that's the truth."
"You know, Yuna, I appreciate you for doing this but I really have to get going now since I still have work to do and-"
Yuna smiled at Kazuya as she grabbed his right hand, forced it open. "That's yours. I don't know the truth behind that accessory but I am sure you and Jin know."
"W-why?"
"Because you love him and he told me that he loves you. We were talking about you and your relationship. He had broken up with me the minute he came back here in Tokyo. I went here to know his reasons. I am glad that you are both happy with one another."
"I don't understand." Kazuya said, "I saw the two of you kissing..."
"Ah, yes." she smiled at Kazuya. "I am sorry about that. It was actually me who had asked him to do that in exchange of my silence. I may sound pathetic now but he, Jin, had never properly given me a kiss before."
"But you were a couple-"
"We were." she interrupted Kazuya. "But it was always you who was in his mind and in his heart. I guess what we had had been just for a show." she chuckled bitterly.
"I'm sorry..." Kazuya said. It hurt to know that he and Jin were the cause of Yuna's pain.
Yuna shook her head slightly. "Don't be." she said, "I enjoyed the time I was with him. He's waiting for you, Kamenashi-san." she smiled at him despite her tears.
"Thank you, Yuna!" Kazuya sounded excited. He felt so happy that he had hugged her. "Thank you." he said, gave her his heartfelt gratitude.
"It's alright." Yuna said when they broke apart.
"We'll talk to you soon!" Kazuya said in a loud voice as he had reached the building's entrance. Yuna waved Kazuya goodbye and soon, the young male was out of her sight.
Be happy, you two...
---
Kazuya was lucky to have found his key to Jin's apartment inside his wallet. He thought he'd lost it already and he never imagined he'd be able to use it for a reason as important as this one.
Once he'd opened the door, Kazuya slid himself inside the house and immediately felt the heavy silence.
The house was empty. It felt as if Jin wasn't there. Kazuya searched the living and the dining room but there was no Jin. He went to Jin's bedroom and there was no one in sight. The bathroom was as empty as all other rooms.
Kazuya pouted. "Where are you?" he asked himself as he walked towards the guest room. He frowned when he saw the door slightly opened. He pushed it wider and he saw him there, curled up in bed; crying.
"Jin..." he whispered as he walked towards the bed. A gasp escaped his lips when he was pulled down the bed and Jin started to sob a bit more audibly.
"I'm sorry, Kazu." came Jin's pained voice. "It wasn't what you think. I told you it was you that I love. Please don't leave me. I won't make it without you." he cried.
Kazuya could feel tears wetting his neck but he didn't care. He turned to his side and wiped the tears which were flowing non-stop from Jin's eyes.
"I won't." he said while his thumb brushed the tears away from Jin's eyes. "I'll stay, Jin."
Jin opened his eyes and looked at Kazuya. He had missed that pretty face, that gentle gaze. He had missed everything about Kazuya. "I'm sorry." he said. "It seems I am only good at hurting you, Kazu. I will understand if you leave but please stay with me today, just for today, Kazu."
The desperate tone clenched Kazuya's heart. Jin looked so vulnerable and lost. He looked so weak and fragile. Kazuya rarely gets to see this part of Jin and every time he sees Jin at this state, it would always break his heart. He never wanted Jin to cry.
"I'll stay, Jin. Don't worry." he reassured him. He couldn't get Jin to talk much with him since the older was still crying. Jin was scared.
"Hush, Jin. I love you."
Kazuya thought it was wrong of him to say his feelings aloud because Jin's sobs grew louder. Kazuya wrapped his arm around Jin and held the other close to him. Jin settled on pressing his forehead to Kazuya's shoulder as he cried.
Today, he would still have Kazuya next to him. He would be able to feel, smell and touch the person he loved. He wanted to talk to him but he couldn't stop himself from crying, his throat dry as a desert. The soothing hand caressing his back and Kazuya's warmth and that familiar scent made Jin want to close his eyes. He felt a kiss on his head before he succumbed to sleep, tired from crying.
It was already dark outside when Jin woke up. His eyes hurt from too much crying.
Kazuya...
He panicked when he remembered he held Kazuya earlier, here in this bed. Kazuya must've left while he was asleep. Of course, that'd be the perfect time to escape. He'd lost it. Jin had lost his chance to be with Kazuya. He wasn't even able to explain. A frustrated groan escaped his lips, refused the urge to hit himself.
"I see that you're awake now."
Jin could only watch the younger man come close to him with wide eyes. Kazuya was smiling and looking fresh and all things beautiful. He was sure he looked like a huge pile of mess.
"I'm sorry. I understand if you'd leave me, Kazu."
"Hmm?" Kazuya mumbled as he crawled back to bed, moved to where Jin was and snuggled to the other male.
"You don't have to do this. I know you hate me now..." Jin said when Kazuya held his hand and draped it over Kazuya's waist so that Jin could hold Kazuya close to him.
"I agree with Miyuki-san about you being stupid." the younger chuckled.
"Miyuki-san?" Jin asked. "The cashier lady?"
"Don't sound so jealous now." Kazuya teased. "She's a good friend of mine. You'd love her and Aya once you get to know them."
"Yeah, right." Jin mumbled. "The girl was adorable but the woman was a fox. She's a walking disaster."
"And you're not?" Kazuya laughed slightly.
"Mou~"
"Are you feeling okay now?" Kazuya asked, looked up to Jin.
Jin nodded, hesitant. Will Kazuya leave him now that he's feeling okay?
"I'm glad. You scared me, you know? You have never cried like that before, Jin."
"I'm..." Jin cleared his throat. "I was afraid I'd lose you again..."
"You probably would if you don't kiss me right now." Kazuya teased and Jin was more than glad to obey. He kissed Kazuya on the lips once and pulled away.
"I'm sor-"
"That's not what I want to hear. We’ve said too many apologies already." Kazuya cut the other off.
"Yuna is-"
"Not that one, too. I know about what had happened earlier. She told me."
"She did?" Jin asked.
"You're adorable when you frown." Kazuya chuckled when he saw the frown that had formed on Jin’s forehead. "And you're pretty cute when you blush."
"Kazu~"
"Quit whining, Jin, and tell me what I want to hear."
"I've no idea." Jin said, played with Kazuya's hair. "You took a bath without me. You lied. You said you'd stay with me." he pouted.
"It's not gonna work." Kazuya smiled at Jin, flicked the tip of Jin's nose.
"I love you." Jin said. It was the only coherent thing he could say when those dark brown eyes were looking at him gently. "I love you so much, Kazuya. I want to spend my lifetime with you so please don't leave me. I promise to be the best boyfriend ever."
"Cute." Kazuya laughed. "Oh, and mushy too. I think I love you more now."
"You think?" Jin raised a brow in mockery.
"I love you more now."
"Why are we being sappy?" Jin had to ask but kissed each and every finger of Kazuya's hands. "You're wearing it again." he said when he had gazed upon Kazuya's wrist.
"Hmm."
"So that means...?"
"Only if you kiss me again. I'm actually greedy--" A kiss on his lips shut him up and Kazuya could only melt in that kiss.
Yes, we're moving forwards, Jin.
***
End of fic
***
A/N 2: I am not sure if this is what you wanted but it's what came to my mind so I'm sorry if you didn't like the way it ended although, I feel quite satisfied with it though. :) Their feelings were made clear in Chapter 14 so all I had to do was to polish it all up and write end. XDD This entire fic would be open to the public since it's not that "explicit" XDD Oh, and wasabi flavored almonds rock! ^-^
As always, comments are <3 and thanks for reading ^-^