hmmm. so lemme try this.
it's a run-on
i.
in the end there was always the bluegreen not-color of the sky, never quite reaching red or orange, half-suspended, half-baked.
father says, so what have you learned these past 3 1/2 years in college?
v.
the air is thick with cutting laughter and dripping smoke and you think it's absurd because water drips, not smoke. and you sigh in absentminded frustration because it's like water and oil and you don't even know what the hell your point is, anyway.
l.
sometimes, when the spaces are solid enough that you can cut through them with a knife, you find that you can't move because it's pressing from all sides and you're afraid that the perfect stillness will collapse on you and squash your body until you're thin as a piece of paper and the only way you'll ever get around is if you float from place to place.
o.
if you stay still long enough, not breathe long enough, you can almost feel the edges of yourself disintegrating. you conclude that it's strangely comforting, and soon enough you want it to feel like your insides and all sides of you are disappearing into thin air. no one will notice, now, will they? and then you think that you've gotten used to the idea, anyway.
x.
there are prickling sensations when you peel off the skin from underneath your fingernails. you peel and nick at the skin til the red oozes out. you silently smile with grim satisfaction because you've already gotten one step closer to escaping from yourself.
.oOo.
i writ on an empty stomach.
i.
in the end there was always the bluegreen not-color of the sky, never quite reaching red or orange, half-suspended, half-baked.
father says, so what have you learned these past 3 1/2 years in college?
v.
the air is thick with cutting laughter and dripping smoke and you think it's absurd because water drips, not smoke. and you sigh in absentminded frustration because it's like water and oil and you don't even know what the hell your point is, anyway.
l.
sometimes, when the spaces are solid enough that you can cut through them with a knife, you find that you can't move because it's pressing from all sides and you're afraid that the perfect stillness will collapse on you and squash your body until you're thin as a piece of paper and the only way you'll ever get around is if you float from place to place.
o.
if you stay still long enough, not breathe long enough, you can almost feel the edges of yourself disintegrating. you conclude that it's strangely comforting, and soon enough you want it to feel like your insides and all sides of you are disappearing into thin air. no one will notice, now, will they? and then you think that you've gotten used to the idea, anyway.
x.
there are prickling sensations when you peel off the skin from underneath your fingernails. you peel and nick at the skin til the red oozes out. you silently smile with grim satisfaction because you've already gotten one step closer to escaping from yourself.
.oOo.
i writ on an empty stomach.