Comments | queen_thalia: Cheaters

queen_thalia

Cheaters

Jun 23, 2006 11:16

Okay…I hate it when I find out shit that involves people I love…That I really don’t want to know about. This guy is cheating on his significant other. Honestly, my husband and I didn’t think he was that type of person. Now we are stuck with this information. Do I tell her? Do I confront him? What the hell do I do? I don’t know if my ( Read more... )

Comments 9

kismets_kiss June 23 2006, 16:36:05 UTC

It might depend on how you found out. I mean if he told you, then you could say, hey not cool, and try to see his side, ask him WHY? Whay are you doing this? And you made great points, cheating is never the answer to relationship problems, it only escalates them. Telling her will only hurt her, and it's something that could backfire on you big time. No body likes getting news like this and have a tend to kill the messenger.

duccubus June 23 2006, 18:42:01 UTC

hate to say it hon, but youre screwed. if you tell, then youre the one who ruined the relationship. if you dont, then you sat back and watched someone you love get hurt. there is no best thing to do. unfortunatly, nobody cheats without soeone knowing about it. or even a lot of people knowing about it. i personally have always maintained plausable deniability. i may know, buti dont tell anyone i know. so when it all falls out i can say i didnt know. which is not necessarily a moral high ground, but for the most part, i know these things about people i dont know terribly well. you could tell him you know, and give him the choice of him telling her or you telling her. you could decide to treat her as you would want to be treated. personally, if someone cheats on me, i dont want to know. i want them to have the courage to end the relationship, but as far as details, i dont want to know. all in all, its best it comes from him. if it doesnt, and you think its inevitable that she will find out, then its better it comes from you. as opposed ( ... )

queen_thalia June 23 2006, 21:19:46 UTC

Thank you. Both of you. I am afraid of losing them both as freinds but I can't stand by and not do something... I am willing to lose friends if it means in the end they are better off. Better to have loved and lost then never love at all. And I do love them.

duccubus June 24 2006, 00:05:40 UTC

Putting this out on the internet, really puts you in a weird space...if you don't tell the significant other and he/she later realize you knew and didn't say anything after posting...then you may find that person will lose all faith in you as someone they can trust. If you dotell...well Ducubbus pretty much answered with those possiblities.....I guess you have to do what you feel in your heart. But first ask yourself a few questions ( ... )

kismets_kiss June 24 2006, 15:42:08 UTC

Since you do love these people, then what ever you do will be done with love and from the heart. If you are faulted for that, then that is on them, not you.

anonymous June 24 2006, 15:53:24 UTC

I am posting as anonymous, but I do know of what you speak. Person A=cheater & person B=cheated ( ... )

wolfenblood June 25 2006, 03:37:56 UTC

Honestly, cheating is one hell of a 'deal breaker' in my book. It's something I would never do, and wouldn't accept from a significant other. It shows a complete lack of honesty with your significant other, not to mention everything else that can go with it, especially in todays era of rampant STD's and such. It's your call, but I'd tell her that he is cheating, if he's disrespecting her like this, then he doesn't deserve her.

Advice from Aunt D anonymous June 30 2006, 13:02:38 UTC

It's a tough situation. I agonized over my friend's relationship with a very bad guy - peeping tom, arrested for sexually assaulting a child, and just the worst person to help her through her own psychological problems from being abused. It was a hard decision for me. I had to balance the possible damage to our relationship against the damage he could do to her. I told her I loved her, but I didn't think he was right for her (and why.) She married the jerk and never spoke to me again ( ... )