Spread the News Far and Wide, Hummer-Haters and Meredith-Lovers

[queenkatieett]

My friend Meredith left me alone in her apartment last week while she went home to Idaho and totally failed to bring me back a tie-dyed t-shirt covered in wolves howling at a full moon. Still, living in her apartment has taught me how to kill cockroaches with miscellaneous household items such as boxes of oatmeal and toilet seats, so I can't

Comments

[bloobirdie]

she went home to Idaho and totally failed to bring me back a tie-dyed t-shirt covered in wolves howling at a full moon.

I shit you not when I tell you that one of the trustees of my chapter owns the company that makes those shirts.

You heard it here first.

[queenkatieett]

This is literally what I was picturing in my head when I wrote that:

[bloobirdie]

When he joined the board, I decided to check out the website. When I saw what shirts they made, I nearly died. I have seen them in more Mobil gas stations than I care to count. But I can't knock it - he's made his fortune on them. And I hear that his company provides FREE lunches (in a top-notch cafeteria that has healthy, organic foods) and free on-site day care...

...all paid for by the howling wolf. Who knew?

[caropal]

My father has those kinds of shirts.

No, I'm not defending them. Or him, for that matter. I think he thinks they're cool. And I forgive him. (It's rather big of me, really.)

[saraide]

That website is eleven point five kinds of awesome. :)

We usually opt for smacking the cockroaches with shoes here.

[queenkatieett]

Sunday night at midnight, a little one went flying across the floor and hid under one of my flip-flops, so Jason stomped on my shoe and got roach guts all over the bottom. I really like thinking about the fact that I tracked those guts all around the apartment the next morning.

[saraide]

Uh... ew? Next time, clean the roachie off the shoe! :)

[stormodacentury]

...

There's a Hummer dealership not too far from me. Maybe I can talk a group of folks into a late-night Hummer orgy...

[queenkatieett]

A pack of glistening Hummers being communally humped in the moonlight? Be still, my heart.

[smailtronic]

"rape that bitch, her and her big ass are asking for it."

They're obviously talking about the Hummers.

[queenkatieett]

Yes, obviously.

But the website still generates mail from bored women in Colorado claiming otherwise.

[xianxuremixed]

So the obvious question is:

Katie, have you humped a Hummer?

Seems right up your alley.