"House. You've Tanned."
Anyway. Now that time has passed, and I've started an angsty fic, I think I can talk about House coherently.
Because really, BITCHFEST covers most of it. I watched the episode again and saw that the amount of bitching was astronomicial. Cameron bitched, Cuddy bitched, Wilson bitched, House bitched. Even Foreman bitched (though it wasn't as bad as everyone else--instead thinly veiled bitch-like remarks to Wilson). The only person who didn't bitch was Chase. And I wanted him to. He was the only one who diserved to bitch. HE HAS A BIG RED BRUISE ON HIS FACE. I would bitch. And yet...
Okay. Yeah. Moving on. Here's my summary:
WILSON: I made a deal!
TRITTER: Yeah. Ha ha.
HOUSE: Fuck you both. Get out.
***
HOUSE: Case. Go. Little people. Hee.
DUCKLINGS: Wilson is a bastard. Take deal anyway.
HOUSE: CASE. GO AWAY.
***
CUDDY: Damn you Wilson. You suck.
WILSON:...Really? You're supposed to be on my side.
CUDDY: I am pissed at you, but will go along with you. Because your hair is fluffy. <--made up reason.
***
CUDDY: No case or vicodin for you. Take the deal.
HOUSE: No. Neener.
CUDDY: Ducklings are mine now. Hooray.
***
CAMERON: Wilson is such a bitch.
FOREMAN: No. You're a bitch.
***
CUDDY: Little people? What is wrong?
CAMERON: I'd like to say now that Wilson is wrong.
WILSON: I haven't had an idea yet.
CAMERON: Doesn't matter. WRONG.
WILSON: Ho.
CAMERON: Slut.
CUDDY: Bitch fight somewhere else.
***
BITCHFIGHT 2006-ROUND 1
CAMERON: You are a little bitch, Wilson. Only I, CAMERON, understand House and his extreme physical and emotional pain. YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG.
WILSON: I'm trying to help, you stupid whore.
CAMERON: YOU ARE WRONG. YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG. I HATE YOU.
WILSON: WHATEVER, HOUSE LOVES ME MORE. <---Okay, not really, but everyone was thinking it.
***
HOUSE: Break into this drawer to support my drug habit.
FOREMAN: Fine. Give advice.
HOUSE: Advice. Moby Dick refrence.
FOREMAN: Not really funny.
HOUSE: Bitch.
***
CHASE: Could be this.
CAMERON: No.
CHASE: This?
CAMERON: No.
WILSON: House. You've tanned.
***
HOUSE: I am a sick man. Give me vicodin.
DOCTOR: No.
HOUSE: SHIT. I thought that would work.
***
FOREMAN: Thinly veiled bitch at Wilson.
WILSON: You too? I hate you guys.
***
CUDDY: HELP. I suck at this.
HOUSE: No.
***
BITCHFEST 2006- ROUND 2
WILSON: It could be...
CAMERON: Hell no. You are crap.
WILSON: You are a stupid bitch.
CAMERON: Asshat.
WILSON: Whorebag.
CUDDY: STOP BEING BITCHES AND BE DOCTORS.
***
LITTLE MOM: You suck hard.
WILSON: Sorry.
***
CAMERON: House. My love. I've come to care for you.
HOUSE: Whatever.
CAMERON: I'm being a big bitch because I love you.
HOUSE: Whatever. Do you have pills?
CAMERON: No.
HOUSE: Damn.
CAMERON: Wilson is such a bitch.
HOUSE: What else is new?
CAMERON: Take the deal anyway.
HOUSE: No. Advice. Bar metaphor.
CAMERON: Gee, House, you are so dreamy.
***
CUDDY: How is the ass?
CAMERON: You're killing him, you bitch.
CUDDY: Whatever. No one likes you.
***
HOUSE: Your evil plan is not working.
WILSON: I can see that, because you are stealing from dead people.
HOUSE: I am still smarter than you.
WILSON: Whatever. Bitch.
***
WILSON: I am sad. I will not testify against House because I am desperately in love with him.
TRITTER: Fine. You'll go to jail too.
WILSON: Okay.
TRITTER:...Really? Freak.
***
HOUSE: Give me the dead man's meds.
DUDE AT COUNTER: Only if you supply damning evidence of your problem.
HOUSE: Cool. YAY. PILLS.
***
BITCHFEST 2006- FINAL ROUND
CAMERON: Could be...
WILSON: Nope.
CAMERON: Or..
WILSON: Nope.
CAMERON: Fucker.
WILSON: UGLY BANGS.
CAMERON: YOU CROSSED THE LINE!
CUDDY: SHUT UP.
***
HOUSE: It's a bear.
GIRL: It's a dog.
CUDDY: Pills for you! Save the girl.
HOUSE: No. IDEA. I RULE.
***
HOUSE: SEE? I win.
WILSON: You got pills?
CUDDY: But this doesn't mean anything.
WILSON: Pills?
HOUSE: Patient.
WILSON: Pills?
CUDDY: Patient.
WILSON: Pills?
HOUSE: Are yummy. I win again.
***
HOUSE: You can be normal.
LITTLE MOM: You are an asshole.
HOUSE: I also pop pills.
***
WILSON: Make up sex?
HOUSE: SCOFF.
***
HOUSE: PILLS. LIQUOR. FUN TIMES.
***
WILSON: Man, House, you are such a bastard.
HOUSE: Murflph.
WILSON: I am calling you a bitch with my eyes.
***
HOUSE: DAMN. I must win Wilson back. I will take the deal.
TRITTER: No more deal. Merry fucking Christmas.
HOUSE: SHIT DAMN FUCK.
THE END.
MAN. I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I'm having a terrible day. Continuing to watch this episode of House isn't helping. Yet I keep on doing it. I AM STUPID.
~Tarasita
P.S. Cameron is still dead to me. And she has really ugly bangs.
Because really, BITCHFEST covers most of it. I watched the episode again and saw that the amount of bitching was astronomicial. Cameron bitched, Cuddy bitched, Wilson bitched, House bitched. Even Foreman bitched (though it wasn't as bad as everyone else--instead thinly veiled bitch-like remarks to Wilson). The only person who didn't bitch was Chase. And I wanted him to. He was the only one who diserved to bitch. HE HAS A BIG RED BRUISE ON HIS FACE. I would bitch. And yet...
Okay. Yeah. Moving on. Here's my summary:
WILSON: I made a deal!
TRITTER: Yeah. Ha ha.
HOUSE: Fuck you both. Get out.
***
HOUSE: Case. Go. Little people. Hee.
DUCKLINGS: Wilson is a bastard. Take deal anyway.
HOUSE: CASE. GO AWAY.
***
CUDDY: Damn you Wilson. You suck.
WILSON:...Really? You're supposed to be on my side.
CUDDY: I am pissed at you, but will go along with you. Because your hair is fluffy. <--made up reason.
***
CUDDY: No case or vicodin for you. Take the deal.
HOUSE: No. Neener.
CUDDY: Ducklings are mine now. Hooray.
***
CAMERON: Wilson is such a bitch.
FOREMAN: No. You're a bitch.
***
CUDDY: Little people? What is wrong?
CAMERON: I'd like to say now that Wilson is wrong.
WILSON: I haven't had an idea yet.
CAMERON: Doesn't matter. WRONG.
WILSON: Ho.
CAMERON: Slut.
CUDDY: Bitch fight somewhere else.
***
BITCHFIGHT 2006-ROUND 1
CAMERON: You are a little bitch, Wilson. Only I, CAMERON, understand House and his extreme physical and emotional pain. YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG.
WILSON: I'm trying to help, you stupid whore.
CAMERON: YOU ARE WRONG. YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG. I HATE YOU.
WILSON: WHATEVER, HOUSE LOVES ME MORE. <---Okay, not really, but everyone was thinking it.
***
HOUSE: Break into this drawer to support my drug habit.
FOREMAN: Fine. Give advice.
HOUSE: Advice. Moby Dick refrence.
FOREMAN: Not really funny.
HOUSE: Bitch.
***
CHASE: Could be this.
CAMERON: No.
CHASE: This?
CAMERON: No.
WILSON: House. You've tanned.
***
HOUSE: I am a sick man. Give me vicodin.
DOCTOR: No.
HOUSE: SHIT. I thought that would work.
***
FOREMAN: Thinly veiled bitch at Wilson.
WILSON: You too? I hate you guys.
***
CUDDY: HELP. I suck at this.
HOUSE: No.
***
BITCHFEST 2006- ROUND 2
WILSON: It could be...
CAMERON: Hell no. You are crap.
WILSON: You are a stupid bitch.
CAMERON: Asshat.
WILSON: Whorebag.
CUDDY: STOP BEING BITCHES AND BE DOCTORS.
***
LITTLE MOM: You suck hard.
WILSON: Sorry.
***
CAMERON: House. My love. I've come to care for you.
HOUSE: Whatever.
CAMERON: I'm being a big bitch because I love you.
HOUSE: Whatever. Do you have pills?
CAMERON: No.
HOUSE: Damn.
CAMERON: Wilson is such a bitch.
HOUSE: What else is new?
CAMERON: Take the deal anyway.
HOUSE: No. Advice. Bar metaphor.
CAMERON: Gee, House, you are so dreamy.
***
CUDDY: How is the ass?
CAMERON: You're killing him, you bitch.
CUDDY: Whatever. No one likes you.
***
HOUSE: Your evil plan is not working.
WILSON: I can see that, because you are stealing from dead people.
HOUSE: I am still smarter than you.
WILSON: Whatever. Bitch.
***
WILSON: I am sad. I will not testify against House because I am desperately in love with him.
TRITTER: Fine. You'll go to jail too.
WILSON: Okay.
TRITTER:...Really? Freak.
***
HOUSE: Give me the dead man's meds.
DUDE AT COUNTER: Only if you supply damning evidence of your problem.
HOUSE: Cool. YAY. PILLS.
***
BITCHFEST 2006- FINAL ROUND
CAMERON: Could be...
WILSON: Nope.
CAMERON: Or..
WILSON: Nope.
CAMERON: Fucker.
WILSON: UGLY BANGS.
CAMERON: YOU CROSSED THE LINE!
CUDDY: SHUT UP.
***
HOUSE: It's a bear.
GIRL: It's a dog.
CUDDY: Pills for you! Save the girl.
HOUSE: No. IDEA. I RULE.
***
HOUSE: SEE? I win.
WILSON: You got pills?
CUDDY: But this doesn't mean anything.
WILSON: Pills?
HOUSE: Patient.
WILSON: Pills?
CUDDY: Patient.
WILSON: Pills?
HOUSE: Are yummy. I win again.
***
HOUSE: You can be normal.
LITTLE MOM: You are an asshole.
HOUSE: I also pop pills.
***
WILSON: Make up sex?
HOUSE: SCOFF.
***
HOUSE: PILLS. LIQUOR. FUN TIMES.
***
WILSON: Man, House, you are such a bastard.
HOUSE: Murflph.
WILSON: I am calling you a bitch with my eyes.
***
HOUSE: DAMN. I must win Wilson back. I will take the deal.
TRITTER: No more deal. Merry fucking Christmas.
HOUSE: SHIT DAMN FUCK.
THE END.
MAN. I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I'm having a terrible day. Continuing to watch this episode of House isn't helping. Yet I keep on doing it. I AM STUPID.
~Tarasita
P.S. Cameron is still dead to me. And she has really ugly bangs.