Tara Muses on House
But First: The way I envision the whole scene from the promo.
CAMERON LEANS IN FOR A KISS OMFG
CAMERON: *enters House’s office, looking heartbroken but hopeful* House?
HOUSE: *grunts*
CAMERON: I...I talked to Wilson earlier.
HOUSE: *grunt plus grimace*
CAMERON: So...
HOUSE: What the fuck do you want?
CAMERON: It is true?
HOUSE: *death glare*
CAMERON: Because, well, I...
HOUSE: Wilson!
WILSON: *appears magically* What? I’m working.
HOUSE AND CAMERON: *laugh*
WILSON: I hate you guys.
HOUSE: She’s eying me funny.
CAMERON: *is offended*
WILSON: Do you want me to mace her?
HOUSE: *hopeful* Will you?
WILSON: No.
CAMERON: I’m trying to have an intense emotional moment here!
WILSON: *amused* Go ahead.
CAMERON: *steps closer to House*
HOUSE: *uncomfortable* Wilson?
WILSON: *smirk*
CAMERON: *is closer*
HOUSE: Wilson?
WILSON: *busts up laughing*
CAMERON: *grabs House’s face* I’m going to kiss you and prove that you are not teh gay.
HOUSE: That’s what this is about?
WILSON: *is mirthful*
HOUSE: Please make her stop.
CAMERON: See, you are actually deeply in love with me!
HOUSE: WILSON.
WILSON: *giggles girlishly*
CAMERON: See our obvious sexual tension? You must be infatuated with me!
HOUSE: Get off me, woman.
CAMERON: *leans closer*
HOUSE: Wilson, you are the worst boyfriend ever.
WILSON: *wiping tears from his eyes*
CAMERON: *extremely annoyed* THIS IS MY SCENE. STOP RUINING IT. *big sloppy kiss*
......
HOUSE: Ew. I can’t believe you did that.
CAMERON:...I...but...
HOUSE: *pouting* I have Cameron cooties.
WILSON: *grins* I’m so sorry.
HOUSE: Make it better?
WILSON: Blow jobs in my office?
HOUSE: *wide smile*
HOUSE AND WILSON: *leave*
CAMERON: But...but...I’m the female lead! *cries*
THE END
This is obviously how the scene will go. I rule.
ETA: I am really getting tired of the show pushing OMG HOUSE AND CAMERON HAVE TEH SEXUAL TENSION because they don't. Really really. I propose that if they keep doing it, they should have Wilson at the other end of the room, giggling. Then I wouldn't be angry. I would laugh with him and it would be awsome.
In fact, do that for every scene. We need lots of Wilson giggling. It'd be great. I should write this show. I have a plan for replacing Cameron with a lesbian and a former male model. Chase and the male model will have lots of gratitious man sex (after he grows out his fucking hair) and House and Wilson can stalk the lesbian for their twisted enjoyment. And then have hawt man sex. Seriously. Give me an contract.
Anyway.
To the actual episode.
It rocked. It rocked so hard, it rocked my face off. I nearly exploded from joy. Let me get the purely shallow reasons for this out of the way, so I can then seem intelligent.
-WTF was up with Chase’s hair? It’s all short. And gross. And I felt like crying. The only time he looked good in the episode was when he was wearing a hat.
-Going on the hat theme: They are awesome. Everyone should wear hats all the time. It’s a weird hat fetish I have. Leave me alone.
-OMFG CUDDY. She was so the hawtness in this episode. Every time she came on screen I lost my higher brain functions. NO BRA PEOPLE. Seriously, if Cuddy’s hotness didn’t get to you this episode you must be dead. Because even straight girls and gay guys had to be swooning. CUDDY. PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOUR LESBIAN LOVE CHILDREN. I love you.
-WILSON. I fell in ridiculous love with his tie; all brown with cream and peach stripes. HOORAY. Seriously the best tie evar.
-House should always wear blue. End of discussion. He shot right to the top of my list of Men I Will Sleep With. It’s a short list and he’s #1. It’s an honor, Hugh Laurie. Be thankful.
-Cameron. Your hair was crazily hot this episode. I’m proud. But please, find some better makeup (your lipstick is a stupid color) and don’t try to rock out the low cut top. Really. Sweetie. You don’t have boobs. Don’t try to be Cuddy to get House’s affection. It won’t work. (AND I’m suddenly envisioning her changing tactics and starting to wear ties. Hee!)
OKAY SO-here’s where I try to sound intelligent. Be afraid:
So this episode gave me faith in this show again. I did like the last episode (because wheelchair hijinks are always fun) but this one had all of the things I fell in love with. There was interesting medicine, lots of Foreman, Cuddy being intensely HAWT, Wilson being fantastic, House making Jew jokes, and Cameron getting pwned and turning into a slut. For Chase. Who has that sexual predator smirk down pat, BTW.
Wilson and House are back the way I love them; thinly veiling this obviously not plutonic love. The conscience bit was fabulous. Though Katie pointed out that Wilson loves being House’s conscience, which led me to the revelation that Wilson probably goes home and night and plans lectures in advance. He keeps them on note cards in his office, categorized by possible situations. So he’s always prepared. It’s so a Wilson OCD thing to do.
The scene with Foreman and Cameron was fantabulous, and the whole time I was thinking of House and Wilson. Katie totally didn’t get it at first, and I feel proud that I figured it out before her. Foreman’s little speech about spending 35 years watching each other floss and then making sacrifices killed me. Because it’s such an obvious parallel to Wilson and House. They’ve know each other forever, through lots of shit. Wilson has repeatedly sacrificed things for House, and this episode I felt that House sacrificed a little for Wilson: House didn’t get the spinal nerve biopsy because Wilson didn’t want him to. Simple. He wasn’t happy about it, but he did it because it’s Wilson. In my opinion. Don’t contradict me since it makes me happy. Also: “Wilson is so annoying.” AWESOME.
BREAKFAST. ON VALENTINE’S DAY. Breakfast obviously stands for ‘hawt man love’.
Foreman was freaking awesome in this episode. He’s so fucked up. I love it. Poor cute blonde nurse lady. I would want Foreman to love me too. Big black sex machine that he is.
Microwave pizza. I think that’s all I need to say.
I want to say something intelligent about how awesome Cuddy was in this episode, but like I said, higher brain functions went on vacation. So all I did was drool. Seriously woman, you turn my brain to mush. Marry me.
That be all I got to say.
~Tarasita
P.S. Seriously. Cuddy is my dream woman. I can’t get over it.
CAMERON LEANS IN FOR A KISS OMFG
CAMERON: *enters House’s office, looking heartbroken but hopeful* House?
HOUSE: *grunts*
CAMERON: I...I talked to Wilson earlier.
HOUSE: *grunt plus grimace*
CAMERON: So...
HOUSE: What the fuck do you want?
CAMERON: It is true?
HOUSE: *death glare*
CAMERON: Because, well, I...
HOUSE: Wilson!
WILSON: *appears magically* What? I’m working.
HOUSE AND CAMERON: *laugh*
WILSON: I hate you guys.
HOUSE: She’s eying me funny.
CAMERON: *is offended*
WILSON: Do you want me to mace her?
HOUSE: *hopeful* Will you?
WILSON: No.
CAMERON: I’m trying to have an intense emotional moment here!
WILSON: *amused* Go ahead.
CAMERON: *steps closer to House*
HOUSE: *uncomfortable* Wilson?
WILSON: *smirk*
CAMERON: *is closer*
HOUSE: Wilson?
WILSON: *busts up laughing*
CAMERON: *grabs House’s face* I’m going to kiss you and prove that you are not teh gay.
HOUSE: That’s what this is about?
WILSON: *is mirthful*
HOUSE: Please make her stop.
CAMERON: See, you are actually deeply in love with me!
HOUSE: WILSON.
WILSON: *giggles girlishly*
CAMERON: See our obvious sexual tension? You must be infatuated with me!
HOUSE: Get off me, woman.
CAMERON: *leans closer*
HOUSE: Wilson, you are the worst boyfriend ever.
WILSON: *wiping tears from his eyes*
CAMERON: *extremely annoyed* THIS IS MY SCENE. STOP RUINING IT. *big sloppy kiss*
......
HOUSE: Ew. I can’t believe you did that.
CAMERON:...I...but...
HOUSE: *pouting* I have Cameron cooties.
WILSON: *grins* I’m so sorry.
HOUSE: Make it better?
WILSON: Blow jobs in my office?
HOUSE: *wide smile*
HOUSE AND WILSON: *leave*
CAMERON: But...but...I’m the female lead! *cries*
THE END
This is obviously how the scene will go. I rule.
ETA: I am really getting tired of the show pushing OMG HOUSE AND CAMERON HAVE TEH SEXUAL TENSION because they don't. Really really. I propose that if they keep doing it, they should have Wilson at the other end of the room, giggling. Then I wouldn't be angry. I would laugh with him and it would be awsome.
In fact, do that for every scene. We need lots of Wilson giggling. It'd be great. I should write this show. I have a plan for replacing Cameron with a lesbian and a former male model. Chase and the male model will have lots of gratitious man sex (after he grows out his fucking hair) and House and Wilson can stalk the lesbian for their twisted enjoyment. And then have hawt man sex. Seriously. Give me an contract.
Anyway.
To the actual episode.
It rocked. It rocked so hard, it rocked my face off. I nearly exploded from joy. Let me get the purely shallow reasons for this out of the way, so I can then seem intelligent.
-WTF was up with Chase’s hair? It’s all short. And gross. And I felt like crying. The only time he looked good in the episode was when he was wearing a hat.
-Going on the hat theme: They are awesome. Everyone should wear hats all the time. It’s a weird hat fetish I have. Leave me alone.
-OMFG CUDDY. She was so the hawtness in this episode. Every time she came on screen I lost my higher brain functions. NO BRA PEOPLE. Seriously, if Cuddy’s hotness didn’t get to you this episode you must be dead. Because even straight girls and gay guys had to be swooning. CUDDY. PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOUR LESBIAN LOVE CHILDREN. I love you.
-WILSON. I fell in ridiculous love with his tie; all brown with cream and peach stripes. HOORAY. Seriously the best tie evar.
-House should always wear blue. End of discussion. He shot right to the top of my list of Men I Will Sleep With. It’s a short list and he’s #1. It’s an honor, Hugh Laurie. Be thankful.
-Cameron. Your hair was crazily hot this episode. I’m proud. But please, find some better makeup (your lipstick is a stupid color) and don’t try to rock out the low cut top. Really. Sweetie. You don’t have boobs. Don’t try to be Cuddy to get House’s affection. It won’t work. (AND I’m suddenly envisioning her changing tactics and starting to wear ties. Hee!)
OKAY SO-here’s where I try to sound intelligent. Be afraid:
So this episode gave me faith in this show again. I did like the last episode (because wheelchair hijinks are always fun) but this one had all of the things I fell in love with. There was interesting medicine, lots of Foreman, Cuddy being intensely HAWT, Wilson being fantastic, House making Jew jokes, and Cameron getting pwned and turning into a slut. For Chase. Who has that sexual predator smirk down pat, BTW.
Wilson and House are back the way I love them; thinly veiling this obviously not plutonic love. The conscience bit was fabulous. Though Katie pointed out that Wilson loves being House’s conscience, which led me to the revelation that Wilson probably goes home and night and plans lectures in advance. He keeps them on note cards in his office, categorized by possible situations. So he’s always prepared. It’s so a Wilson OCD thing to do.
The scene with Foreman and Cameron was fantabulous, and the whole time I was thinking of House and Wilson. Katie totally didn’t get it at first, and I feel proud that I figured it out before her. Foreman’s little speech about spending 35 years watching each other floss and then making sacrifices killed me. Because it’s such an obvious parallel to Wilson and House. They’ve know each other forever, through lots of shit. Wilson has repeatedly sacrificed things for House, and this episode I felt that House sacrificed a little for Wilson: House didn’t get the spinal nerve biopsy because Wilson didn’t want him to. Simple. He wasn’t happy about it, but he did it because it’s Wilson. In my opinion. Don’t contradict me since it makes me happy. Also: “Wilson is so annoying.” AWESOME.
BREAKFAST. ON VALENTINE’S DAY. Breakfast obviously stands for ‘hawt man love’.
Foreman was freaking awesome in this episode. He’s so fucked up. I love it. Poor cute blonde nurse lady. I would want Foreman to love me too. Big black sex machine that he is.
Microwave pizza. I think that’s all I need to say.
I want to say something intelligent about how awesome Cuddy was in this episode, but like I said, higher brain functions went on vacation. So all I did was drool. Seriously woman, you turn my brain to mush. Marry me.
That be all I got to say.
~Tarasita
P.S. Seriously. Cuddy is my dream woman. I can’t get over it.