black and blue

Nov 02, 2007 03:46

I'm so. conflicted. The more I make my way towards boy-hood the more I think about what others will say, think, do. The more I think being a 'girl' would be easier, less complicated, less explanations, just less. Sometimes I just want to rewind. I want to take back all this boy shit. I want to learn how to 'love my cunt' and be satisfied. but it's ( Read more... )

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derekja November 2 2007, 13:55:55 UTC
it's never too late to back out. (well, after surgery might be a *little* bit late... but you know, not impossible even then.)

I've got a friend out here who went back to using female pronouns, stopped binding, etc. It took me a couple months to start feeling right to call her her again, but it's all ok now. Another friend now uses "it" as a personal pronoun, that's harder to get used to!

You have to do what's right for you and damn the torpedoes...

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queerboi56 November 2 2007, 15:19:02 UTC
but i'll go back and forth a lot. one day its she the next it's he. I dunno. Kudo's to your friend.

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derekja November 2 2007, 16:44:10 UTC
so, 3 possibilities:

1) you're "really" a boy, but have doubts caused by the rest of the world, anatomy, etc.

2) you're "really" a girl, but have convinced yourself something else is going on (this is what doctors/family/the rest of the straight world is trying to make you believe)

3) you're really a Chris, and gender is weird, non-binary, and sometimes even fluid.

I just wish that ze/hir or it or any of the other gender neutral pronouns weren't so linguistically cumbersome and generally unused. I used ze/hir for a month or so a couple years ago. Wow, what a clusterfuck it was trying to get people to use them, or even to try and understand why I wanted to.

Give it time and patience, the people who love you will stand by you either way. After all, you're not really changing who you are, but only what ill-fitting label you want to wear.

<3

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queerboi56 November 3 2007, 02:18:41 UTC
Yeaaaa. I've thought about using ze/hir but yea. it would jsut be a mess. hah

<333

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hanaurimusume November 2 2007, 15:05:42 UTC
Being worried about these things doesn't make you any less of a boy. It just means you're thinking.

<333
Thanks for cuddling with me yesterday.

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queerboi56 November 2 2007, 15:19:47 UTC
<333 I hope you're okay.

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mewmewmew_ November 5 2007, 01:28:10 UTC
I've felt that sense of being stuck on the path of transition. You're a strong person though, so I believe you can leave this if that's what you think you should do.

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svetlanafy February 17 2013, 07:08:13 UTC
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