Unto thy soul with hoops of steel - Jared/Jensen NC-17 - 2/2
Back to Part 1
“T-Tell me. Wanna know what you’d d-do.” Stuttering either in embarrassment or sheer arousal, slow stroke and twist of his hand inside his jeans.
“I’d run my hands down your chest, pinch at your nipples the way I know you like. Get my mouth on that perfect dip between your stomach muscles, mark you up.” He can hear Jensen touching himself as he talks, and fuck Jared is not gonna last.
“Yeah, I. I love your mouth, Jen.” Hand twisting on the upstroke, grip tightening. Dirty-filthy chuckle in his ear.
“Yeah I know you do. Want my lips around your cock, Jay? Want me to suck you?” Fuck just the image of that is almost enough.
“Know what I really wanna do, Jay? What I think about when I’m jerking myself off like I am right now?” God Jared really wants to know, but his throat won’t work.
“Wanna get my fingers in you, Jay. Slick you up and just watch you squirming on my hand. Get all up in that tight, perfect ass, fuck Jay!” Sounds of Jensen panting as he comes, thoughts of Jensen’s fingers being inside him pushing him over the edge; hot-wet pulses into his jeans and over his fingers, brain flaring offline and breath punching out of his chest.
“Christ Jen. Tryin’a kill me?” Still breathing hard, he actually has to find the phone where his grip on it had gone slack during his orgasm. He catches the tail-end of Jensen’s laugh.
“Not just you babe, trust me.” He takes a deep breath. “So that wasn’t. I didn’t push too far?” Jared blushes again, but he’s sporting a huge, dopey grin.
“Nah, was fuckin’ hot, Jen. Gonna hafta try that in person when I come’n see you.” He knows his voice is like molasses, accent thicker with the buzz running through him.
“God Jay, now who’s trying to kill who, huh? You’d really let me?” Jared feels his dick twitch in the wet mess of jeans at the thought. Seems he would.
“Yeah, Jen. Might not be ready for. You know. All the way. But we can start slow right?” If they keep talking about this he’s gonna need to jerk off again.
“Slow as you want, I promise. You know you’re amazing right? ‘Cos seriously, you’re amazing.” Smile in his boyfriend’s voice again.
“It’s something I try and live with, it’s a daily struggle, honestly.” Grin widening at the sound of Jensen’s laugh.
“And your modesty is so attractive, babe.” Gets a laugh out of him.
“Please, if I was any more modest I’d be, like, a Geisha or something.” From the way Jensen groans a little, he maybe likes that image more than Jared thought he would.
“Oh fuck, now I’m picturing you all meek and dressed up for me. No fair Jay I can’t spend all day in here jerking off.” Jared just laughs.
“S’cos of your perverted brain, don’t go blamin’ me.” Jensen gives another throaty laugh at that.
“So, when can I tell mom and dad to expect you? Y’know, just so they don’t worry or anything.” Teasing words, and Jared hears the real meaning anyway.
“I’ll leave the day after tomorrow, that’ll give us four days together before I’ll have to head back.” He’s smiling at the thought already.
“Awesome. I’ll spend the extra day tryin’a convince my parents to let us sleep in the same room.” And with what is unmistakeably a kiss blown down the line, his boyfriend hangs up; and Jared is left lying sated but sticky on his childhood bed.
It’s not exactly a new experience, he admits.
* * *
The grin on Jensen’s face could possibly be described as ridiculous. He’s really finding it hard to care at the moment.
Jared is almost here.
He’s probably said that to his momma twenty times since Jared called him from his bus two hours ago. He’d been so wound up and distracted that morning, that he hadn’t even noticed the way every metal object in the bathroom was floating in the air; until he’d reached for his toothbrush and found the steel cup sitting almost on top of the mirror. He hasn’t accidentally lost control like that in years.
Stupid gorgeous Jared.
Despite his hours of pleading; his parents have refused to let him and Jared sleep in the same room, even after Jensen - perhaps unwisely, judging from the way his dad’s face had scrunched up and his momma had turned an odd pinkish colour - pointed out they’ve spent days staying in the same dorm room with only a tiny college-issue bed, before.
Yeah, probably shouldn’t have mentioned that before they’ve even met Jared. He’ll have to remember to send apologetic thoughts through the front door before they let him in.
His phone chirps at him while he’s standing in the middle of his bedroom; a long trail of paper clips spiralling around him in a big helix as he tries to get rid of his nervous energy.
JP: I’m here! Come kiss me! Xx
He’s pretty sure he can’t fly, but it feels like he does from the way he moves down the stairs and out the door as Jared is coming into view. They pretty much collide in the middle of the front yard; arms going ‘round each other, Jared actually lifting Jensen off the ground and twirling him a little, laughing at the way Jensen squawks in surprised protest. He tries to keep the making out to a minimum while he’s standing in his parents yard, with them no doubt hanging back near the house watching this whole sappy display. Doesn’t stop him projecting who-knows-what at Jared in excitement though, gets him a laugh right into his mouth.
“Miss me?” Jared whispers as they break the kiss, still clutching to each other.
Like you wouldn’t believe.
“Maybe a little” Said mostly for his parent’s benefit, knows Jared doesn’t need the words.
Still grinning like a moron, arm around Jared’s waist as he tries to match his giant strides, Jensen leads them both to where his folks are watching them with an indulgent, fond smile.
“Mom, Dad, this is Jared. Jared meet my Mom; Donna and Alan; my Dad.” He does the formal thing, overplaying it with extravagant bowing and arm-waving to make Jared smile and break the tension a little.
“N-Nice to meet you sir, ma’am.” Jensen is stupidly proud at the single, tiny stutter (which probably just makes him all the more endearing, from the way his momma’s face softens that little bit extra), and the strong way he shakes his Dad‘s hand. The big dimpled smile doesn’t hurt.
“Oh please, it’s Donna and Alan, and it’s lovely to finally meet you, Jared.” Jensen is trying to suppress a laugh at the way his momma is visibly stopping herself from hugging Jared like the big adorable puppy he is. The subtle knock against his back tells him Jared heard that.
“Well, no sense in us standing out here, let’s all go inside shall we?” His parents lead the way into the house, and Jensen takes a moment to kiss Jared again, squeeze his waist reassuringly.
They love you already, babe, don’t worry.
They sit around in the comfy living room and drink coffee, the ideal meet-the-parents cliché, as his parents fail at subtlety while they quiz Jared about his classes and his family and everything else they can think of. Jensen sits as close to Jared as he can without actually being in his lap, and sends him any thoughts or questions he thinks will help the process along. Eventually Jared cracks a huge yawn and then blushes and tries to apologise; while his momma just waves them off to show Jared where to put his bag in the spare room he’ll be sleeping in (his dad kinda stresses that last part, and Jared blushes even brighter while Jensen rolls his eyes and drags Jared off by the hand).
Upstairs, and blissfully alone, Jensen takes Jared’s bag from his hand, dumps it on the floor and tackles Jared down onto the guest bed. He’s kissing the breath outta Jared before they’ve stopped bouncing on the mattress, moaning at the sweet taste he didn’t think he could miss so much after less than a week apart.
Missed you. God, Jay.
He can’t even form coherent filthiness to aim at Jared now, just grinds his hips into Jared’s on the bed as he kisses and licks and nips across his lips and down his neck, hand pushing up under his shirt, caressing the skin and scraping just right with his nails to make Jared shiver.
“Fuck. Jen, we-we can’t.” He’s saying it even as he’s helplessly pushing his hips up into Jensen’s, hard cocks grinding against one another. It builds fast and ruthlessly hard, like a forest fire springing out of nowhere and pooling behind his balls, incredible pressure.
Gonna make you come all over yourself, Jay. Get you wet; make you feel it.
Shoving down as Jared pushes up, orgasm suddenly hitting him like a punch to the gut, feels Jared shivering through his own aftershocks and the wetness spreading between them. Foreheads pressed together, breath coming in hard fast pants that make the hair move back and forth over Jared’s forehead.
“M’gonna hafta wash my shorts out now, jerk.” No strength in the words at all as Jared thwaps him on the shoulder, all the coordination of a puppet that’s had it’s strings cut.
I’ll make it up to you.
Thought soft and loaded with innuendo as he kisses Jared again, licks over his bottom lip and nips at his jaw.
“They’re gonna know what we were doing, y’know.” Jared says when they separate; blush coming back again. Jensen huffs a laugh as he looks down at his boyfriend underneath him; flushed and sexy and all his. Loves the way the possessive thought makes the blush get hotter and brighter as it runs down past the collar of Jared’s shirt.
“I’m sure it’s not a foreign concept, Jay. They met when they were in high school.” Jared just gives him an unimpressed look, but he leans up and presses a quick kiss to Jensen’s lips anyway.
“So. I believe you said something about a present?” Teasing glint in his eyes as his hand runs down Jensen’s back, only stalling a little before sliding over his ass and then sweeping back up.
“Oh, I see, ain’t about me at all is it, ya big gold digger.” Nip to the line of Jared’s throat, tries to keep in mind his mommas face if Jared goes downstairs covered in hickeys. Then tries to remember why he cares.
“Like I’d ride four hours on a musty Greyhound, next to a lady who smelled like shoes, just to see your ugly mug.” That cracks Jensen up a little; laughter making him shake as he presses his face into Jared’s neck, breathes him in before he lifts his head, heart stuttering at the smile and deep blue-green eyes aimed at him.
“Way to make a man wanna give you gifts, there, Jay. Flattery really is an art to you isn’t it?” Pressing soft kisses up to Jared’s ear, can‘t help himself.
“Well if you’ve changed your mind, I can always find another guy to buy me stuff. I’m sure there’s a handsome rich dude somewhere that’d want a piece of-”
That’s as far as gets before Jensen grabs his wrists and pins him to the mattress, crushes their mouths together.
Fuckin’ mine, Jay. No one else touches you. No one else gets to have you.
Thoughts harshly uttered into Jared’s mind, making his boyfriend groan as they lie pressed together from toes to chest.
“Fuck, Jen. M’yours, promise.” Soft whimpers as Jensen sucks a hickey right in the middle of his neck, above his Adam’s apple; wants Jared to feel it whenever his throat works as he swallows.
Make me so crazy Jared. Wanna touch you, mark you, take you.
Tries to push an image into Jared’s head; - something they’ve practiced at but haven’t quite gotten the knack of yet - Jared spread out on a blurry, half-imagined bed, sweating and panting as Jensen works his fingers into him. Same image he’d used when he’d been on the phone with Jared a few days ago; hazy and sexy and indistinct, Jared the only thing in sharp focus as he writhes in pleasure. Like the rest of the world fades around him.
There’s a metaphor there, somewhere, Jensen thinks.
* * *
Jared has never felt as safe anywhere as he does when Jensen is laying over him, broad, strong body sheltering him with warm skin and muscle where Jared is still kinda gangly and not filled-out yet. He feels like the physical version of the mental barriers Jared has always struggled to create; immovable and enduring without ever being stifling.
The crack about him getting a sugar-daddy is probably unwise; given how possessive Jensen typically is, but fuck it’s worth it when he gets held to the bed and a hickey planted in the middle of his neck. He can feel Jensen trying to send pictures to him, and he gets a weirdly translucent image that resolves slightly into one of him; looking way more glow-y and attractive than he’s ever really seen himself, faint colours and no sound as Jensen spreads him open with his fingers. He can’t get details, but Christ that image is hotter than ninety-nine percent of whatever he’s ever imagined on his own, anyway.
He tries to clear his head and catch his breath - not easy with Jensen flushed and a little sweaty as he looms over him; hair spiked a little crazily where Jared’s hands had wandered into it, eye so, so green as they stare at Jared like nothing else matters. He can hear the swirling mass of Jensen’s thoughts, like the oddly cosy sound of rain when you’re warm and indoors; can’t make out words, but the message is clear, regardless.
“You gonna show me around now, caveman?” He asks softly, tip of his nose nudging along Jensen’s, gets him another kiss and a low, rough laugh that makes him shiver.
“Gotta be a good host I suppose.” He sighs likes it’s such a chore, but there’s a big happy smile on his face as he helps Jared up and ushers them into the bathroom.
“I think the orgasm pretty much earns you that title, all by itself.” Jared returns as they jostle one another by the sink, cleaning up and straightening hair and clothes as much as possible. Jared examines the bruise on his neck, and he can feel the slight ache when his throat bobs as he swallows - which is exactly why Jensen put it there, he knows - and sees the hot flash in Jensen’s eyes as he sees Jared poking at it, the slight smirk he doesn’t even bother trying to hide.
Jensen leads him down the hall into what Jared immediately knows is his old bedroom, and his eyes struggle to take in everything at once; light green carpet - scattered with paper clips, which brings a smile to his face - sports posters on the walls, baseball trophies and almost as many books as Jared has in his room; some on engineering, some fiction, some old books that look as though they were used for school. What Jared is fascinated, and a little surprised by - even though he shouldn’t be, thinking about it now - is the number of random metal objects everywhere; like tiny bits of street art scattered all over the room.
There are dozens of them; on the shelves and on the old wooden desk, the bedside table; and Jared can just see Jensen shut away in this room as a child, much the way Jared had always been; trying to control something so bizarre and unexpected that no one else had to deal with.
What do you think?
Soft words across the surface of his mind, like a caress.
“I love it.” He says, honestly. Eyes still skipping over random knick-knacks and folded laundry, until they land on the gorgeous guy standing by the bed, so strong and so fragile, and utterly, utterly perfect
Jensen steps closer to him, stops a couple of feet away, and holds out the palm of his left hand. An ornate, silvery bird floats into the air and hovers between them. As Jared watches, transfixed; it circles around him gracefully before he reaches out a curious hand, as though it were a timid, living thing rather than inanimate and made of metal. It lands gently in his palm, the weight of it suddenly present as Jensen lets go of the mental grip keeping it afloat.
Jared gasps softly as he lifts it closer and turns it over in his hands. The edges of it are perfectly smooth and clean; clearly not carved or honed by any kind of conventional tool. It looks like a blackbird, or maybe a crow; and there are faint gaps between the wing feathers where they’re spread slightly apart; as though it were halfway through taking flight. The eyes are incredibly sharp and detailed, so are the feet and long tail feathers. It’s absolutely beautiful.
“It’s beautiful.” He says, aloud for Jensen, thumb stroking over the small bird’s head. “How long did this take you?” Eyes moving up to his boyfriend’s, noting the pleased, bashful smile on Jensen’s face and the blush tinting his cheeks pink.
“About a year, from start to finish. I started it when I was seventeen. I used to practice on random stuff first, and then try’n improve the detail on the bird afterwards. It’s supposed to be a blackbird; we used to get these huge ones on the trees outside the classroom windows at school, and I’d always stare at them whenever I was bored.” Jared smiles and imagines Jensen as a freckled little boy, bird-watching and daydreaming.
“It’s amazing. You’re amazing.” He sees Jensen open his mouth to deny it, way he always does. “Seriously Jen, you could’ve been an artist or a sculptor, rather than an engineer.” Jensen’s really blushing now, and Jared steps closer and plants a kiss on his warm cheek, just ‘cos he can.
“I thought about it, but making buildings and bridges n’stuff is its own kinda art, y’know? There’s something about the idea of watching metal and glass that you imagined reaching up so high into the sky it looks like it’s gonna go right through the clouds that’s just…” He trails off and shrugs, and Jared smiles and kisses him again, on the mouth; always amazed at the passion that shines from Jensen when he talks like this, the way his thoughts take on this lightening-quick, ephemeral quality; like electricity arcing from point to point, or water in a fast-running stream.
“I dunno if I can accept this Jen; it’s too much. You spent a whole year making this.” He’s looking at the bird again now; marvelling at the way each feather running from its back to its tail is distinct and outlined, faint lines of detail on each one, like they could part and ruffle any minute when it decides to move.
“It’s yours Jay, seriously. I‘m. You’re the only one who.” His voice cracks a little, and in one giant step he’s kissing Jared again, plush lips brushing over his, sweet and soft and yet intensely focused, and Jared‘s knees go a little weak.
It’s yours. I won’t take no for an answer.
Jared laughs a bit into Jensen’s mouth; resignation and something so much greater that he feels for this guy; something that even that big four-letter-word doesn’t really capture. He pockets the solid weight of the sculpted animal, gives Jensen a yielding look and another grateful smile.
They spend dinner joking and laughing, as Jensen’s parents tell Jared as many embarrassing stories as they can think of about Jensen’s childhood; director’s commentary running in Jared’s head as Jensen tries to mentally contradict them. Jensen’s mom gives him a raised eyebrow when she spots the bruise on Jared’s neck, and Jensen goes beet-red in some kind of instinctual response, but looks her head-on and raises an eyebrow in return, making his dad snort out a laugh. Warmth spreads through Jared at the non-verbal family communication; at the feeling of acceptance on more levels at once than he’s ever felt before.
If anyone asks, the smile is just ‘cos the food’s so good.
* * *
The second day of Jared’s visit, Jensen takes him to all the places he used to hang around at as a kid, everything so much the same but still looking smaller, less vibrant, somehow.
He shows Jared the park he’d played in after school; complete with dented monkey-bars where he’d unintentionally pulled them toward his hands as he’d tried to clamber across. They go to the old movie house Jensen and his friends used to sneak into, and make out in the back row to some cheesy horror flick from the seventies. They walk past the school, and Jensen tells him - with words, and then with thoughts when the words won’t come - how many recesses he’d spent indoors, watching the birds through the classroom window ‘cos he was afraid of making something happen that would scare or hurt someone; would make people think he was a freak. Jared tells him about the number of times he’d faked being sick so he wouldn’t have to go to school at all; the thought of walking around hundreds of noisy kids with even noisier brains too horrible and frightening.
They eat lunch on a bench next to a rusty old fountain, and Jensen makes the towering concentric circles spin and tilt a little, spraying the kids that’re playing near the base, haggard-looking parents none the wiser.
Jensen is trying not to draw attention to them by laughing too loud, when Jared goes stiff as a board and his head shoots up and starts darting from side-to-side, like he’s heard a gunshot.
“What? Jay, what is it?” Hand on Jared’s thigh squeezing slightly.
“I. I thought. I could’ve sworn I heard a voice.” From anyone else that’d probably be really worrying, Jensen thinks.
“Oh shut up, you know what I meant.” Jared clearly still hearing him then.
“No, that’s exactly what it was like, Jen! Like that day in Starbucks, it was just there; like it went right through the walls.” Jared’s turned to him, eyes a little wide.
“You’re sure it wasn’t just me?” He’s getting a little nervous himself, the way Jared is looking right now.
“I know what you sound like, Jen. It wasn’t you, but it cut through the same way you do.” Jared’s back to scanning the people nearby now, eyes narrowed and eerily-focused in that way that says he’s dropping and raising his mental barriers; looking for something specific.
“It’s gone.” Blinking hard to clear his vision, shaking his head a little. “But I know I heard it. It was a guys voice, and it was just there, like I couldn‘t block it.” Jensen is trying to control the sudden fear in his chest at that, only one reason they know of Jared wouldn’t be able to keep out a voice like that.
“What did it say?” Trepidation in the words, rush of ‘what ifs’ in his head.
“It said; ‘so there’s two of them.’” Jared’s voice more than a little freaked-out as he turns back to him, wide eyes on his, and Jensen feels a chill go through him. They can’t stay here, just sitting around in the open, if someone is watching, then…
“C’mon, lets get outta here.” He pulls Jared to his feet, keeps him close as they head back to the house. He locks the door behind them, completely ignores the greeting and questioning look from his parents, and drags Jared to his room and shuts them in.
Jensen spends the rest of the night twitchy as fuck; glancing out the curtains and randomly resting his hand on Jared’s shoulder, his leg, the back of neck; as though he’s trying to make sure he’s still there, that he‘s still solid and real. He knows it’s stupid, and his momma has been giving him funny looks all evening, but he can’t make himself stop.
If Jared did hear that voice, and Jensen has no reason to doubt him, then that means…Well he isn’t even sure what it means, other than maybe they aren’t the only ones who can do freaky stuff other people can’t. And that they’re apparently being watched.
He doesn’t wanna think about why someone might be spying on them, or what it means if the people spying on them are like them. He’s stamping ruthlessly on paranoid thoughts of government labs and secret underground facilities, doesn’t want Jared being worried by his overactive imagination.
“Jen, I swear to God, if you don’t sit down, I will tackle you to the ground.” Jared’s voice from where he’s sitting on Jensen’s bed as Jensen wears a hole in the floor. He sighs, probably more explosively and childish than necessary; and plants himself on the mattress next to Jared, pressing his left leg to Jared’s right, comfort in that small point of contact.
“I just.” Another sigh, hand running into his hair and back down across his face; like he’s trying to wipe the thoughts off. “What if-” He doesn’t even know ‘what if’, but the number of bad possibilities here is pretty staggering. One of Jared’s big, warm hands clamps onto Jensen’s thigh, squeezes reassuringly.
“Don’t drive yourself crazy, okay? Maybe I imagined it, or maybe it was a stray thought about someone else. It could’ve even been someone talking out loud and I just didn’t realise.” He’s well aware Jared’s bullshitting to calm him down, but he appreciates the effort.
“I can’t stop thinking about it, Jay; about what could happen if someone found out. The wrong someone, you know?” Of course Jared knows; he doesn’t need to tell him what he’s thinking.
“How could they? It’s not like we wear bright spandex, or masks, or special badges, right? No one can tell just by looking.” Jared in full teacher-mode, voice of reason.
“I was playing with that stupid fountain when you heard the voice, though. What if I-”
“No, Jen. Stop beating yourself up, okay? Nothing happened. We’re here, and we’re safe, and we’re together. Everything‘s okay.” Voice softening, Jared runs a hand up his back to the base of his skull, runs his thumb into the dent there, and Jensen can feel his headache fading a little with Jared so close and warm and comforting.
He lets his head drop forward, chin on his chest; and tries to take some deep breaths. Jared’s hand runs around his neck and under his chin, tilts his face up so he can plant a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth.
“Everything’s okay.” He whispers this time, almost right against Jensen’s lips.
I can’t lose you.
The kind of thing he’s no good at saying out loud, even the thought is a painful whisper that feels like it‘s torn from him.
“You won’t.” Just as soft-spoken, and his eyes fall shut as Jared kisses him again, lips parting and tongue sliding along Jensen’s. He groans as the almost-sweet and indefinable taste of Jared fills his mouth; warms him from head to toe. Need for air eventually forcing them apart, Jensen presses his forehead to Jared’s, warm breath flowing between them as they both pant a little. He lets his eyes close as he puts one hand on the side of Jared’s neck; keeps them connected like he can get the thoughts to flow across easier that way.
I’m scared, Jay.
Jared makes a small noise in his throat, presses his lips to Jensen’s again, reassurance for the both of them.
“I know. Me too.”
-------- TBC --------