World Goes 'Round By Misunderstanding - Jared/Jensen NC-17 - 3/3
Back to Part 2
****
Jared can't recall ever being this angry.
He literally can’t get a single, solitary thought around the red-hot block of seething rage in his head; taste of bile in his throat, insides twist-turning with the strength of it.
Jensen’s fucking parents.
He gulps in a huge breath through his nose, lets it out slow, trying to calm down before he scares Jensen again.
God, he doesn’t want to scare Jensen, can‘t bear the idea of his mate being afraid of him.
The beta is standing completely still, looking more lost and confused and miserable than Jared has ever seen anyone look. The lights from his truck parked haphazardly behind him made Jensen’s wet eyes glow in the night, almost cat-like; makes his skin look pallid and his freckles stand out everywhere. There are deep bags beneath his eyes; nearly purple where he’s been trying to sleep on a goddamn park bench.
Another deep, slow breath.
“Your parents.” He starts, slowly, trying to keep his voice level and quiet in the bubble he and Jensen seem to be in. “When I called them, they. Well to say that they were pissed doesn’t cover it.” Grimace twisting his mouth as he talks, Jensen not reacting, just watching him.
“They, uh. They were gonna call the cops. But I told them about the heat and that I.” Almost says something far too big and important to waste in a place - a moment - like this one. “They agreed that if I stayed away from you; and if you still wanted something more with me when you were old enough, then I’d be allowed to. To date you, I guess.” Words doing so little justice to anything he feels for this boy.
Jensen is still just standing there.
“I thought they'd tell you. God Jensen, I’m so sorry.” Moving forward again, body blocking the light and shrouding Jensen’s face. He pulls the beta to him again, can’t not with the way the heartbreaking image of him is burned behind Jared’s eyes.
“I didn’t know.” Words barely audible with his face pressed into Jared‘s shirt, still sounding exhausted and much older than his years should allow, and a splintered, wet, humourless laugh forces itself out of Jared’s throat.
“I know. I’m so, so sorry.” All he can think of to say, grips his mate tighter and rubs his hands down his back, up to his neck and down again; trying to project comfort with every move he makes.
He doesn’t know how long they stand there; two figures outlined against the darkness, but eventually Jensen pulls back and looks up at him; expression unreadable now Jared is blocking the only source of light.
“What now?” Soft and with no small amount of fear; like Jared is just gonna leave him here, all alone.
How many times can his heart break in one night, seriously?
“Come home with me, okay? I’ll. We’ll, figure the rest out later. I’m not leaving you.” Last part said with probably deeper meaning than is sensible right now, doesn’t make him mean it any less.
He’s taking Jensen home, and he’s not letting him go.
Rest of the world can go fuck itself.
****
Jensen manages to walk to Jared’s truck; still half expecting to wake-up and find himself still on the bench at any moment. Jared keeps one arm around his waist, and the touch is pretty much all he can feel beside how heavy his limbs are and how cotton-stuffed his head feels.
Jared gets him into the passenger’s seat almost by lifting him off the ground, unless that floaty feeling is just from the light-headedness that’s keeping him from focusing.
“Just rest, okay? I’ll get us home and. Well everything else can come later.” Words not making any sense in his addled brain, but he’s always liked the sound of Jared’s voice.
“Well I guess I’d better keep talking then, huh?” Said with a small chuckle and Jensen guesses he must’ve said that out loud.
In the time it takes Jared to start the engine and pull away from the park and onto the road, Jensen drops deeply into a grateful sleep.
The last thing he’s aware of is a gentle kiss being pressed to his cheek.
The next thing he’s aware of is the soft feel of Jared’s bed, and the sound of his dad’s voice, and there’s an unpleasant flashback.
“I want to see him, right now.” At least his dad isn’t in the room, this time.
“Not until he’s ready. You’ve got less than no right to demand anything from me, considering none of this would have happened if not for you.” Wow, he’s never heard Jared sound like that; angry and low and dangerous, alpha-tone in every syllable.
It probably shouldn’t make his cock twitch.
“Don’t you dare blame us, after what you did-” His dad’s voice rising until it’s cut off.
“Me?!” Crap Jared’s gonna punch-out his dad.
Jensen might let him.
“He ran away because of you. He was sleeping on a fucking park bench because of you. He’s my mate, and you have no idea how much damage you’ve caused.” Fuck he has to get out there before they actually come to blows; his dad isn’t a small guy, but Jared is. Well, Jared.
He’s still got his shirt and shorts on, so he just bolts into the corridor and down the stairs, follows the sound of the arguing.
They both hear him coming at the same time, and there’s some kind of ridiculous shoving match as to who can get to him first, and Christ maybe the stereotypical alpha thing isn’t so far off.
“Would you two stop it!” Like he’s yelling at squabbling children, rather than two alphas both way older than him. “You’re acting like idiots.” As much admonishment as he can put into the words when he’s still tired, which admittedly is only making him crankier.
“Jensen, are you alright?” His dad stepping forward before Jared can stop him - which he clearly wants to - and pulling him into a hug so forcefully Jensen almost says something about being careful of the pregnant guy.
Fuck.
“M’fine, dad. Really.” Patting him on the back and trying to gently extricate himself before Jared’s growling gets loud enough to be noticed.
Soon as his dad lets him go, Jared is immediately pulling him back in, and okay he’s maybe getting a little annoyed with all the grabbing, now. He lets himself take a deep breath of the calming scent Jared always seems to give off, and lets it out in a long, slow shudder. Jared lets go but doesn’t move away; eyes scanning Jensen's face, giant body like a shield between his dad and him.
Jensen appreciates the thought, but it’s not gonna help smooth things over any.
“How’re you feeling?” Words so gentle and full of caring Jensen can’t help the smile, or the pathetic girly fluttering in his chest.
“I’m okay. Just, don’t be too hard on them, yeah? I’m the idiot who ran away.” Slight feeling of egg-on-the-face now he’s with Jared in a house in broad daylight, rather a pitch-black park with sleep deprivation helping making everything hazy.
“I’ll try.” Jared says, and Jensen just isn’t gonna bother calling him on how hard he’s gonna try. “I’m still not happy about it, though. What if something had happened to you?” Hand on his neck, long fingers almost to the back of his skull, and the way Jared goes from snarling alpha to wet-eyed kicked puppy is really unfair.
“I’m fine, I promise.” Forcing himself to maintain eye contact and not touch his belly.
“Where’s mom?” He asks around Jared’s big frame, where his dad is watching with a mixed expression.
“She’s dealing with the police.” Sounding a little sheepish now as his eyes dart to Jared, not in apology; remorse maybe?
“Police?” Eyebrows raised, not sure he really wants to ask.
“They uh. They paid me a visit last night. S’how I knew you were gone.” Jared says, hand going to the back of his own neck; gaze shifting away.
“You called the police. On Jared.” Disbelief and something like ire but more hysterical.
“We didn’t know where you were; didn’t know if he’d.” Hand waving at Jared like he’s been keeping Jensen in a burlap sack, or tied up in the basement or something.
He'd laugh if he wouldn't sound totally crazy.
“Well you were wrong.” He’ll probably feel bad later about how guilty his dad looks, but the thought of Jared kidnapping him is just too stupid to even be funny.
“You can’t blame them, Jen. I’d have panicked too.” Rather understanding given he was at his dad’s throat a moment ago; but Jensen can’t keep the anger going when he’s this tired and there’s so much recrimination, mutual guilt and residual fear hanging in the air.
“That doesn’t mean they can point you out as some kinda sex-offender.” Words hissed and almost immediately regretted when both men wince.
“They were worried about you; like I was. I don’t know that I wouldn’t have suspected me if I’d been in their place.” Jensen honestly can’t keep track of this conversation.
He just sighs and runs both hands over his face, tries to remember that he’s sixteen not sixty, and that stress probably isn’t good for the baby.
Seriously, fuck.
He’s also getting really sick of having emotional moments in Jared’s hallway.
*****
Jared is trying not to usher Jensen back upstairs to where he knows he can keep him safe; somehow doubts the young beta would appreciate it.
“Well. Let’s get you home, son.” Jensen’s father pipes up, word ‘son’ tacked on like he’s a nominee for Father of the Year.
“You're not taking him anywhere.” Spinning on the spot, and if the move just happens to shift him in front of Jensen a little more, then so be it.
“‘He’s’ right here, y’know.” Jared cringes at the tone, but doesn’t turn back, holds his ground.
“He’s our son, and his mother is worried sick, he’s coming home.” Other alpha’s voice rising again, but Jared doesn’t the miss the way he isn’t trying to get past him.
“The home he felt so safe in that he had to run away?” Jared honestly can’t see himself ever getting over that; the sheer number of horrible things that could’ve happened…
“Guys, seriously, let’s not-” Jensen’s voice trying to calm things; instinctual beta reaction to alphas being pig-headed; but Jared just doesn’t care, right now.
“You can’t keep him here, he’s still underage.” Word hurled at Jared like a rock, doesn’t let the force of it show on his face, though.
“Hey, I’m right here.” His mate getting more and more frustrated at being ignored, but Jared can’t let him go.
“I don’t care. I don’t trust you with him anymore. You lied to him. The only reason he ran away is because he was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault.” He’s keeping himself from really yelling by sheer willpower, but honestly if this jackass tries to take Jensen, after what they’ve just been through, he will do something stupid.
“No, Jared, that’s not-”
“It was for the best!” Arms out as the other man gives in to his urge to yell. “How could we know if he’d change his mind, if he thought you were waiting?! It needed to be his choice!” Like any of that is an excuse.
“He didn’t how he had a choice!” Voice echoing now, some primal need to yell louder than the other guy. “You didn’t tell him, you stupid fuck! How was he supposed to decide anything if he thought that I hated him?!” Voice breaking a little on that last part; sounds of Jensen crying against his door replaying again.
“We didn’t know that he’d run away! We thought he’d get over it! Why perpetuate the problem by telling him you’d wait?!” Fucking stupid circular logic, and Jared really wants to hit him.
“That’s not why I ran away!” His mate’s voice ringing out. Everything goes eerily still as they turn to look at Jensen.
“I ran away because I’m pregnant.” Words quieter and reluctant under the gaze of the two angry alphas, and everything goes from eerie stillness to absolute silence.
****
Jensen would really like to disappear into the floor forever and ever, please.
There had to’ve been a better way to stall the punch Jared was about to throw, but fuck he’d only had a split-second and he panicked.
Jared thinks this is his parent’s fault, his parent’s think it’s Jared’s fault, Jensen blames himself; and apparently nobody even knows what the fuck they’re all arguing about.
That hysterical urge to laugh until someone puts him in a straightjacket is coming back.
His dad has gone the same pale cream as the wall he’s standing beside; like he’s trying futilely to camouflage himself. Jared is just frozen there; mouth slightly open, eyes wide and shocked and full of a thousand things Jensen can’t give name to.
Into the floor. If possible directly through to China.
“Yo-You’re pregnant?” Jared finds the power of speech first, but it still comes out with all the strength of a soft breeze; shaky and fragile.
“I. Yeah.” He’s fighting the urge to apologise; reaction even more shaming than the hysterical giggling he’s shoving down.
“You’re sure?” He supposes it needed to be asked, but it still hurts to have his dad question if he’s certain there’s a baby growing inside him; like that’s a mistake he makes all the time.
“I’m sure. I took a test at Chris’ place.” Some twist in Jared’s face at that, and so help him if Jared makes a possessive jealous comment now, Jensen’s gonna lose it.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” So sincere and unexpected and packed with so little force that it hits him like a speeding train. Jared’s arms are twitching at his sides, hands spasming like he wants to do another grapple-hug but doesn’t know if he’s allowed.
“Me too.” Equally muted; looking at the source of what feels like every tangled emotion he’s ever had.
“Well you can’t be thinking of keeping it.” Not a question, or a request, or anything with even the slightest hint of a choice in it; and Jensen can‘t bear to look at his dad‘s face, now.
“That’s up to him.” Jared turning to the other man; not shouting, but its said with so much natural authority Jensen is glad Jared can’t see him drop his head a little in reflex.
“He’s sixteen; we’re legally responsible for him.” God, he thinks that’s the right tack to take with Jared?
“You can’t even be morally responsible for him; you don’t get to decide what happens to the baby!” Jensen winces at the reminder that none of them have the moral high ground, here.
“And you do?! You had sex with a child! You got a sixteen year old pregnant. My son ran away from home because of you, and you think you get to make any decisions?!” He’s gone from off-white to beet-red, voice getting louder and louder; and Jensen is about to start in on how he’s right fucking there, and that he’s not a goddamn child; when there’s a choked-off noise from the doorway.
“A Baby?”
Seems all the shouting had covered his mom’s entrance perfectly.
*****
Jared doesn’t know what a heart attack or a stroke feels like, but he can probably make an educated guess at this point.
He’s trying to ignore the rapidly-building sense of floundering panic at the thought that he’s gonna be a father, and instead stay focused on Jensen’s.
That goes to hell when there’s a sudden noise, and Jensen’s mother is just standing there by the door; looking as if she’s about to faint, or throw up. Maybe both.
Jared knows exactly how she feels.
“A baby?” She says again; hand gripping the edge of the frame so tight Jared expects to see imprints in the wood.
Jensen‘s father goes to usher her out of the house. “Donna, maybe you should-”
“You’re pregnant?” So high-pitched Jared’s surprised the dogs aren’t whining in answer.
“Mom, I. I didn’t. I’m sorry.” Jared can’t stand there and listen to his mate sound like that; every choppy sentence and strangled sob cutting him like a knife.
Paying no mind to the agitated parents hovering by the door; he pulls Jensen in again - gentler this time, brain repeating pregnantbecareful - and presses his nose into the beta’s hair; inhaling the sweet, cinnamon-like scent of his mate.
“It’ll be okay.” Ignoring the way his own voice sounds, tries to force conviction into the words. “Whatever you want to do, we’ll do, okay? Nobody’s forcing you into anything.” Like he’s talking to a startled horse, eyes flicking up to Jensen’s family as he says it.
Jensen gets the final say in this; no matter what Jared has to do.
“I wanna keep it.” Sounding so much like a child Jared can’t stop his flinch. “I’m keeping it.” More confident that time; defiance creeping in.
“You can’t. You’re sixteen.” And God, Jared is gonna develop a lifelong complex about that number.
“You haven’t even finished high school.” Jensen’s mom adds, like it needs pointing out, really.
“I’m not giving up my baby.” Jensen turning his face from Jared’s chest, voice raw and eyes full of stubborn tears, and fuck but Jared loves him so much.
“Jensen, you. Please think about this.” Desperation in his voice, and Jared feels something other than irritation toward the man for the first time since he got here.
“I didn’t run away because of Jared.” Clearing his throat, sniffs and wipes his eyes on his shirt. “I ran because I knew you’d want me to give it up. And I can’t.” Last word pushed out as a sob, begging and broken and Jared is blinking hard to clear his eyes.
They’ve apparently reached some kind of impasse, now. None of them are saying anything, all eyes on Jensen, most of them trying and failing not to cry.
Jared vaguely wonders where his world went.
“This could ruin your life.” Sad and helpless from Jensen’s dad, and Jared doesn’t get how he thinks that’s helpful.
“It doesn’t have to.” He says; can’t let that just hang there.
Donna suddenly seems to notice him “Don’t you try and get involved, you‘re the one who-”
“Stop it!” Jensen’s wrecked voice cutting her off. “He is involved, mom. This is his baby, too.” Tone beseeching as he finishes, and that really hasn’t sunk in yet; that it’s their baby.
There are tears on Donna’s face now, and Alan looks like he’s aged thirty years since Jensen spoke. Yeah; Jared is definitely feeling the guilt again, now; sick weight of it in his gut.
“I feel like I should apologise.” He starts, Jensen turning toward him with a vague frown as his parents just look on blankly. “But I love your son. I’ve told you that. The baby complicates things, I know; but it doesn’t change that. Nothing could.” He figures brutal honesty is the only option he has left, now.
“I love you.” Words aimed at Jensen that time, tries to put as much of it into his expression as he can without breaking down completely. “I should’ve explained things to you myself from the very beginning. I’m never gonna be able to make up for letting you down, and I’m so sorry I’ve put so much on you this soon; but I’ll stand by your choices. I’ll be as involved or as uninvolved as you want me to be.” He can feel the tears running from his eyes; hear the way his voice is tight and rough, but at least he gets the words out.
“Y-You mean that?” Jensen’s eyes scrutinising him even though he’s crying himself.
“Every word. Never doubt that.” Just manages to speak around the sizable lump in his throat.
“We aren’t going to be able to change your mind, are we?” Jared almost jumps at the sound of Alan’s voice; defeated and so tired; doesn’t know which of them he’s talking to.
“No.” Jensen says, before he can; stepping back a little into Jared’s body, and another tear runs from his mother’s eye as his dad’s fall shut and what sounds like years worth of air rushes from his nose.
“He finishes school.” Alan says eventually, damp eyes determined as they fix to Jared’s.
“Alan! We’re not going to just-”
“Look at them, Don’.” He says, gesturing at where Jensen’s back is pressed to Jared’s front; decision in every tense line of him, unified front Jared didn‘t dare hope or ask for. “We either try and work with this, or we’ll lose him.” He’s crying now, too, and Jared can feel the way Jensen is trembling where they’re pressed together, but he doubts he can fix that, right now.
Jensen’s mom is staring at her son like she’s never seen him before; has no idea who he is, and Jared can’t blame himself enough.
****
Jensen is shaking so hard his teeth are rattling. He’s honestly surprised Jared isn’t shaking along with him, with the way they’re pressed together.
His momma is openly crying now; clinging to his dad like he’s all that’s holding her up, and Jared is doing much the same for him.
There’s a divide between the two pairs of alpha and beta that somehow goes deeper than the few feet of hardwood floor between them. He isn’t sure when it happened, and he doesn’t know if he can cross it.
He doesn’t know if he wants to.
Jared loves him.
That thought is going ‘round in his head like a laughing child on a carousel; all bright colours and warmth and hope for whatever comes next. It’s a sharp contrast to the tight-fisted ball of pain and fear that’s squeezing something inside of him so hard he’s amazed he isn’t coughing blood.
“He can stay here.” Words like low thunder, vibrating through him where Jared is pressed to his back. “If it would be easier for you. We live across the street from one another, there’s gotta be a way of arranging this so it’ll work for everyone.” He sounds so in control, and Jensen might buy it if not for the way the alpha’s - his alpha’s - knees are trembling against the backs of his thighs.
His momma lets out another sob; sound like a railroad spike hammered into Jensen’s chest.
“He finishes school.” His dad says again, like he’s mentally stuck on that one thought.
“I was gonna, anyway.” He forces himself to speak, and it fucking hurts, but he’s gotta say something. His dad gives him a jerky nod as his jaw works and he blinks hard.
“What about money?” Asked to Jared that time, and Jensen is trying to believe this is all really happening.
“I do alright for myself. I won’t ask you for anything. I can. I make enough to support us.” Christ, us. His dad makes some vague head movement, clearly lost in contemplation somewhere.
His momma still hasn’t spoken to him, even though she’s hardly looked anywhere else. He’s trying not to break the uneasy truce by shouting at her that he’s still here.
“What do you want to do, son?” First time he’s been asked anything in recent memory, and the word ‘son’ fills his lungs like air.
“I. Dad, I.” Fuck he’s trying, but his throat is raw and clogged and his brain is misfiring in all directions. They’re all just watching him and he can’t focus and he needs to answer.
“It’s up to you, Jen.” Voice soft as breath ruffles his hair. “I won’t keep you here if you don’t wanna stay.” He means it too, Jensen knows he does. Jared would actually watch him walk out that door and never come back and not say one word against it.
Jensen doesn’t want to love him more for that. He does anyway, though.
That’s what really makes it click in the end; the knowledge that this unfathomably kind and loving man will stand in this stupid fucking hallway, and watch Jensen leave if he said it was what he wanted. He’d never ask for anything; never demand anything; he’d just stay away in his empty house across the street and love and keep it all to himself.
Mating isn't always for life, he knows. It’d be excruciatingly painful; emotionally and physically, but the bond is breakable with time and effort. Jensen could have his baby and try and reassemble his life, and Jared could try and find a beta that doesn’t come with so much baggage.
Except Jensen doesn’t want that. For either of them.
“I’ll stay.” A whisper that carries like a gale, almost knocks his mother back against the door. His dad gives a pinched smile that isn’t a real smile, and some cracked exhale leaves Jared’s lungs like a bubble popping.
“You’re sure?” Jared’s hands on both his shoulders, bracketing him from behind, and he feels so safe it’s just absurd. Jensen can’t help the almost-humourless laugh; that Jared is still not-quite trying to let him go even as he clearly doesn’t want him to.
Jensen thinks loving Jared is probably the smartest, stupidest, and most important thing he’s ever gonna do.
“I want to stay.” Said with actual volume this time, and Jared’s hands grip his shoulders a little tighter.
****
Jared can’t feel his feet, his toes, anything that connects him to the ground that isn’t his hands on Jensen’s shoulders; the feel of the warm skin through his shirt.
He’s tired; worn-thin and wrung-out, and he just wants to close his eyes and let it all fall away for awhile. Except it won't; because his mate wants to stay with him, and wants to keep their baby and Jared is starting to - maybe - believe that Jensen’s parents are actually going to let him.
He was honestly prepared for Jensen to leave. Or at least, he was bracing himself for it; the crushing and grinding pain of rejection that he would never have let Jensen see, or allowed himself to express in view of his parents.
But apparently that pain isn’t coming.
The absence of it has left him feeling like he’s floating, and yet somehow closer to the ground than he’s ever been his whole life; turns of rope in his stomach uncoiling and drifting in empty space; relief like another person under his skin.
Jensen wants to stay.
He could get that tattooed on the insides of his eyelids and it would still feel like a dream.
Jared has had this dream before.
Donna finally makes a move to say something; throat working visibly and making effort to clear her eyes - Jensen’s eyes, he’s just noticed, and he can’t help the way it endears her to him. Her mouth moves silently for a second, and then she seems to think something disdainful of the yawning space between them, and takes a halting step forward.
Jared feels Jensen press a little closer to him, and his hands fold over Jensen’s front without even thinking about it; fingers pointing down and thumbs fitting over collarbones. It’s a small gesture, meaningless barrier of skin and tiny bones, but Jensen relaxes a little, and Alan seems too fixated on Donna as she stops in front of them to notice anyway.
Every part of Jensen that Jared can feel pressed against him like this is locked up, tensing for some kind of impending blow. Jared knows whatever she says now will either be a first step or a final push. He just wishes he knew which it was gonna be.
“You love this man?” Soft and tone indefinable; no acknowledgment of Jared as she focuses on her son’s face, and Jared has the sudden off-putting sense of being an intruder.
“I. Yes momma.” His mate sounding so young in that moment that Jared almost physically jerks with the swift rush of protectiveness. Donna lets out the most drawn-out sigh Jared has ever heard, and her chin drops to her chest, eyes closing.
She looks so small, he suddenly thinks; face lined with age and stress and undried tears; both him and Jensen almost towering above her head, and Jared can't explain any of what he's feeling, now. Her head lifts, and she seems to be looking through them to someplace else.
“When you were just a little boy.” She starts, and Jared is knocked sideways a little by the abrupt change in tone. “You used to talk about being an astronaut.” Jared clenches his teeth against the broken noise in his throat that he doesn’t even know the meaning of.
“I remember.” Jensen says, soft and fond enough that Jared allows himself a small flare of hope for wherever this is going.
“You had so many dreams.” She says, not sad but sounding lost and maybe afraid, and God Jared is praying so hard that this isn’t going to end with a severing of ties; with a dismissal Jared will never be able to fix or relieve the pain of.
“I have other dreams now, mom.” A small noise from both Jared and Donna that’s so alike in tone and feeling it makes him wonder.
“You’re still my little boy.” Tears in the words and eyes so like Jensen’s that Jared can’t fixate on one single reaction. “I just want you to have a life. I don‘t want you to have to grow up yet.” New line of moisture tumbling down her cheek, and Jared can feel Jensen trembling, is selfishly glad he doesn’t have to look at his mate’s no-doubt equally wet face in this moment, doesn‘t think he could bear it.
“I can still have a life, momma.” He’s definitely crying; Jared can hear it even if he can’t see it. “Maybe not the life I thought, or the one you wanted, but that doesn’t make it bad, right?” It’s a question and it isn’t, and Jared doesn’t know how much Donna’s answer will change things.
“Oh sweetheart, I just don’t want you to regret this.” Pure honesty and caring, undiluted by whatever she might think of Jared or JaredandJensen, and he can’t help but love her for it, a little.
“I. I don’t know what’s gonna happen.” Voice tremulous and breakable, and Jared tries not to react until he finishes. “But I. I won’t. I mean, you don’t regret me, right?” It’s his answer and a deep-rooted fear all in one, and Jared fucking aches to hear it.
“No, no Jensen of course not. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done.” She means it, there’s less than no question of that.
“Then, I won’t regret this. I don’t regret Jared, mom. And I. I don’t see how I’d regret this baby, either. I love him, mom.” Pleading, either for belief or understanding; and Jared’s heart is stuck fast somewhere in his larynx.
“If there’s ever a moment when he wants to leave, I’ll let him.” He says, first time he’s actually spoken to Donna since she got here, first time they’ve looked at each other with something that isn’t inherently unpleasant since that night, what feels like decades ago. “I promise.” Said with every ounce of sincerity he has in him, word like something tangible falling from his tongue.
She looks at him; green eyes and a stare that makes him feel half an inch tall, and seems to resolve herself at whatever he’s showing on his face, albeit with no small amount of grief.
“It won’t be easy.” Clearly not pleased, addressing both of them; and that’s probably the most understated thing he’s ever heard; it’s quite likely gonna be a few degrees off of impossible, but he knows he’s gonna do it anyway.
“We can discuss all the details and living arrangements later.” And Jared flushes in embarrassment at how he’d forgotten Alan was still standing there. “Maybe we should just, leave it there for now, and pick things up after we’ve all had some time to think.” Jared is so very grateful at the offer of reprieve that he wants to hug the other man, even though part of him is thinking they want to give Jensen time to change his mind.
Donna doesn’t say anything else, but she kisses Jensen on the cheek; wipes away whatever tears have fallen, and gives Jared a look that quite clearly says ‘hurt my son and you’ll pay’ before she gets a hug from Alan and they’re suddenly heading out the door, snick of the catch like a gavel banging in the silence.
****
Jensen’s head is spinning a little.
His mom just went from a to b to c, and then out the door before he could take any of it in. Now he’s standing pressed to Jared’s back, just staring at the closed wooden door like his parents are about to burst back in and drag him away - again.
Two minutes pass. Five. Eight.
Nothing happens.
“What just happened?” He says, not really processing; just has to break the way the air has gone so still.
“A recess, I think.” Jared sounds much like he does; confused and hopeful and tired and like he’s been crying.
Christ, Jensen is so sick of crying.
He turns in Jared’s arms, tries to blink the grit from behind his eyes. He probably looks really gross; red-rimmed and tear-streaked with bags under his eyes and hair everywhere, and he feels some distant pulse of indignity that he just had the biggest conversation of his life in his freaking underwear.
Jared looks more or less how Jensen feels; eyes swollen and red, mouth bitten and sore, stubble on his face and hair a little wild where he’s either not showered in a couple’a days or had his hands tugging at it. He’s looking at Jensen like he’s made of glass or mist; as if he’s waiting for him to break; to dissolve and leave him standing there in this stupid goddamn hallway.
“I hate this hallway.” He says, again without really meaning to, and Jared makes a surprised sobbing noise that’s almost a laugh, eyes welling up and jaw working.
“We’ll redecorate later.” And Jensen can’t help the way he cracks up a little, some of the giggling finally breaking free from exhaustion as he presses his face to Jared’s chest, beat of his heart against Jensen’s forehead, big arms wrapped around him and crossed in the middle of his back.
“Hey. Look at me?” Words so tentative and undemanding, and God it hurts how much he loves this man.
He raises his head and smiles at the gut-wrenching openness and devotion shining in the alpha’s slanted blue-green eyes, and one of his hands is tucking strands of hair behind Jared‘s ear, when his mate finds whatever words he was struggling for.
“A baby, huh?” Hint of a smile, small flash of dimples and Jensen’s breath leaves him in a laughing sigh, palm resting on the side of Jared‘s perfect, prickly face.
“Yeah.” All air and no voice, but there’s something bordering on fatigued happiness breaking out across Jared’s expression, now.
“And you. You love me?” Words rough with insecurity and more than a little fear, and Jensen wants to kiss him and knock him over the head at the same time.
“Yeah, I really do.” Feels the smile tugging at his own lips, skin tight and pulling a little from all the saltwater drying on it.
“Well that’s okay, then.” Jared says quietly; like it makes sense; like he’s got nothing else to say, and Jensen's smile gets a little wider.
“Yeah, I’d say it’s a pretty good start.”
--------- TBC ---------