I like the use of color in the first stanza (black white grey). It sets a darker tone for the piece. But here, with black and white spilling together to make grey, I sense an ambiguity attached to the tone. Things had been cut and dry (black/white) but now there are confusing shades of grey. You only hint on this confusion once with the line "why now, while I can still manage to struggle?" Maybe this opening stanza isn't working how you want it to, because I don't see shades of grey in how you felt. I see only black (and maybe red after you stab someone to death). For this reason, I don't not like the first stanza, but i think it is ultimately misleading. I like the last line because it can apply to you or the person you wish to poison. Overall, not the least bit embarrassing. You should open up my book of poems. You will have a good laugh. Post by Mr. Sean Mulligan
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