I have a prestigious blog, sir
Alright, so here it is. A large collection of fic from various fandoms, most of which are the product of this prompt request, and the rest just being random fic I found on my computer that will never be finished. Small warning, some of these are really old, and thus might not be very relevant in their fandom anymore; sorry, but it just seemed like if there was ever a time to post these, it's now.
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30 Rock
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Title: Shut your face
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Liz
A/N: Written for michellek, who suggested 30 Rock, Jack/Liz, shut your face.
--
It’s gotten to the point where whenever he has a problem with the baby, she’s the first person he calls.
“Wait - don’t you have a nanny?”
“She’s on vacation.”
“Okay, well, what about Avery, you know, your wife?”
“She’s reporting a snowstorm on the newly discovered island, ArcoTogo. No cell phone reception.”
“Fine, what’s the problem with Liddy?”
“She won’t stop crying.”
“And you’ve changed her?
“Yes.”
“Rocked her?
“Yes.”
“Already fed her?”
“Lemon, not all specimens eat the way you do.”
“… Shut your face.”
It’s pretty much goes on like this for a while. Not a lot more to it.
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Community
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Title: Movie Monday
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Abed/Annie/Troy
A/N: Written for whirligigged, who suggested A living space, be it Abed's dorm, Annie's run down apartment, or Troy crashing at Pierce's place.
--
It’s sort of becomes a thing.
The three of them will pick a place (usually Abed’s dorm room, although that sometimes changes), decide on a movie (it tends to be sci-fi, but again, nothings set in stone), and then they do it.
Together, in that room, they have a secret movie Monday!
(In secret.)
--
“Okay, so what are we watching tonight?” Annie asks, sliding into a been-bag with a bowl of popcorn in her lap.
“WarGames.”
“Troy! You said last week that our next movie would be romantic!”
“But Annie,” Abed steps in, “WarGames has a romance between Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy.”
“… Is there kissing?”
“Yes.”
“Fine, but no singing alone with the side effects this time.”
“Dammit!”
--
Title: Midnight Phone Calls
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Britta(/Jeff)
A/N: Written after Jeff had Britta be Pierce's second emergency contact.
--
She gets a call at 2:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
“Hello. This is Linda from the Greendale police center. May I please speak with Britta Perry?”
“Speaking,” Britta mumbles, still half asleep.
“I have you listed here as Pierce Hawthorne 2nd emergency contact. He, along with several other elderly men, was found streaking in the Greendale Mall fountain, and we request you to come and pick him up immediately from the station.”
This wakes Britta up. Fast.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Pierce Hawthorne was seen streaking, and you, as his 2nd emergency contact, need to come pick him up.”
“I don’t remember signing up to be Pierce’s emergency contact.”
“Your names listed right here ma'am. Britta Perry. Twenty-eight. Resides near and attends Greendale Community College.”
“Okay lady, I get it. I’m Pierce’s emergency contact thingy. It’s just…”
This doesn’t make any sense; when did this happen? Why would this happen? It’s not like she would ever want to be his-
Wait. She’s the 2nd emergency contact. The 2nd emergency contact. The 2nd.
“Who’s Pierce’s first contact.
“Let’s see here: a Mr. Jeff Winger.”
Of course.
--
Doctor Who
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Title: Woodstock
Rating: R, but a very light R
Pairing/Characters: Eleven/Amy
A/N: Written for glitterpenguin, who suggested Woodstock.
--
The first time is pretty difficult.
He’s resistant - far too resistant for her liking, going on about how it’s not at all wise and she just got married. He even goes as far as to push her on the floor when she attempts to remove his bowtie - but it doesn’t do him any good (Amy’s always been one for a challenge, and getting a nine hundred and seven year old alien to fuck her is a challenge if she ever met one.) In the end, it’s inevitable really; she’s the girl who waited and he’s the raggedy doctor, and whether or not he likes it, sex was always in the cards.
The funny thing is, though, when he finally comes (and he does), the Doctor doesn’t call out her name.
“Woodstock!”
“Doctor!” Amy shouts, climbing off him, “what the bloody hell was that?”
“Well I can’t very well call out your name, now can I? Rory might suspect something.”
--
Title: The Coming End
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Eleven/Amy
A/N: Written for tasty_kate, who suggested Every tiny bit of her reminds him of Gallifrey.
--
When the end finally comes - and it does come, fast and hard and with almost no warning at all (but than of course, she’s with the Doctor, so there was always some warning) - Amy spends her last moments in existents pondering all the things she’ll never get to do (all the while the Doctor goes on about how she reminds him of Gallifrey, which might be sweet if she knew what that was). It’s supposed to work as a distraction of their impending doom, but seeing as she traveled with him, there’s not a whole lot Amy feels she’s missed out on.
“Hey Pond,” he says, looking up at her with a smile that’s really not at all appropriate for the situation (but that’s the doctor for you; lives about to end and he gives her a smile), “was it still worth it, waiting for me all those years ago?”
Yes, she wants to say but doesn’t; she can’t give him the satisfaction, let him know how greatly he’s affected her, how much she loves him. Without the Doctor, Amy would have nothing to show for her life, be just another Scottish girl living in England. She’d go to work and pay the bills and listen to Rory tell her about whatever happened at the hospital that day (it wouldn’t be anything interesting, she assumes.)
The fact of the matter is, the Doctor is her everything, and without him she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.
“I don’t know,” she answers. “I mean, I don’t… no. No, it wasn’t worth it.”
He smiles.
“Liar.”
--
Glee
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Title: Milkshakes
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Puck/Quinn(/Finn)
A/N: Written back when this ship and show had potential.
--
Finn buys you a milkshake.
Its 8:35 on a Saturday night after the football team has just played (lost) a game, and all the players and cheerios are out for pizza. The place is dirty and smelly, and you’re pretty sure that the chances of it having a rat problem are not small, but it’s the same pizza place they always go to when they’ve lost.
You’re just sitting there, being board, twirling your hair, when Finn walks up and gives you a milkshake, saying that he was thinking you might like it.
“Oh, my favorite!” you lie after taking a sip, because Finn got you vanilla even though you are strictly a chocolate girl. It doesn’t really matter though, because Finn’s and sweet and hot, and really, it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, so it shouldn’t matter that you have to suck it up and drink vanilla when you want chocolate.
Right?
--
Puck steals you a milkshake.
Its 9:45 on a Saturday night, after the football team has just played (won!) a game, and the Glee club decided to go out for pizza to celebrate. The place is pretty classy and smells nice, and you’re certain they do not have a rat problem.
As everyone is leaving, Puck walks up and hands you a milkshake.
“I stole this when the guy wasn’t looking” he says as you take a sip; it’s chocolate. “I know it’s your favorite and so I thought you might like it.”
You smile.
--
Harry Potter
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Title: Pity
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Teddy Lupin
A/N: Written forever ago.
--
Pity. That’s all anybody ever feels for him. Not respect or thankfulness or even love. Just a small dose of sadness and a that poor little Teddy Lupin, his parents died in the war is all he’ll ever get, because it’s not like he’s famous or interesting or particularly important; he’s just some kid who lives with Harry Potter for a few days each week.
But really, Teddy doesn’t ever think he should expect anything more. It’s not like he’s The Boy Who Lived.
--
He knows a lot about his parents. More then he wants too.
He knows his father was a Werewolf and his mother was a Metamorphmagus. He knows they fell in love, although his father was against the idea. He knows they were killed in a second, risking their lives to defend friends and family.
He always remembers being told his parents were amazing. That they were kinda like super heroes and went around the world saving people from death all the time.
It doesn’t ever make him feel better.
--
Title: Smoking Stillness
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Lily/Snape (friendship/unrequited)
A/N: Written back when I was just becoming obsessed with Lily.
--
There’s a sense of complete emptiness as Lily inhales her cigarette and tries to gaze at clouds. She can’t; the trees are blocking her view, and even so, there aren’t any clouds to see. Just the same old milky blue sky, occasionally accompanied by a leaf blowing in the wind or a bird of some sort.
She’s not sure why she decided to come down here. Any intention of reading that book (what is it called again?) was non-existent, and it’s not as though she couldn’t smoke somewhere else.
Perhaps it was to see him, but Lily doesn’t think so, because she doesn’t miss him. Or, she does, but not in the way where she wants to see him. She misses him in that she’s reminiscent of what they had, of the conversations they shared and things they did. She misses the moments they had and people they were. But they aren’t those people anymore, and if Severus were to walk up to her now and plea forgiveness, she still wouldn’t want to see him, because that’s not who she misses; Lily misses a Severus who no longer exists.
Though, she contemplates while bringing the cigarette back up to her lips, she probably did come down here in the hopes of possibly seeing Sev, if for nothing else then to tell him to fuck off.
--
He looks much more depressing smoking then she does. Maybe it’s all the black he wears, or that look of pure dislike that seems to have become his only real expression. Either way, when Severus smokes, Lily can’t help but think it makes him look darker, deeper, maybe more mature…
“Why do you smoke so often, Sev?” she asks as he hands her the cigarette. “It’s so bad for you.”
“Why do you smoke?”
“Because you do.”
“Well,” he says, taking it back, “maybe I smoke because you do. You ever thought of that?”
Lily sniggers. “Please don’t expect me to believe that bullshit, Sev. I’m not some stupid little girl you can riddle into believing ever word that comes out of your precious little mouth.”
He just laughs. “Fine, I’m sorry. And you’re right; you’re not a stupid little girl anymore. You’re taller.”
“Fuck you,” Lily says, although she’s smiling.
--
Parks and Recreation
--
Title: The April Ludgate Song
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Andy/April
A/N: Written for nikki_1978, who suggested what happens after their kiss at the shoe shine stand.
--
In Andy’s short life, he’s only ever really believed in two things. Number one, if you want a hit song, the lyrics must include either 'Spread your wings and fly,' or 'You deserve to be a champion'. Number two, when a pretty girl who you really like kisses you and decides she wants to be your girlfriend, you must serenade her.
You must!
--
“Can I have everybody’s attention, please? I’ve written a song for my lovely girlfriend, April Ludgate, and I want you all to hear it.”
April… A P R I L
Your name is April
A is for amazing
P is for perfect
R is for radical
I is for incredible
And, oh, L is for lovely
April… A P R I L
Your name is April
Spread your wings and fly
Because you deserve to be a champion
And I like you…ohhh
--
Title: The Calzone Game
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for forgetregret009, who suggested a missing moment when Ben and Leslie went out to dinner together to get calzones... after 3x4.
--
“C’mon Leslie, you’ve got to admit, these calzones are pretty fly,” Ben says, taking a giant bite of a big, cheesy one.
Leslie hisses. “Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Fly,” she makes a barf face when saying it. “Don’t ever say that word.”
“Fine. But these calzones are good, right?”
“Define good.”
It’s been like this for a half hour, Ben asking Leslie if she like calzones and Leslie stalling. He’s taking it as a sigh that she might, possibly, maybe like him them!
“How about this: if you like the calzones nod your head. If you don't, shake it.”
She doesn’t move.
--
Title: Ben Wyatt's Love Game
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for buffyfan145, who wanted Leslie/Ben.
--
When Ben was thirteen, he got his first girlfriend, a Jewish girl from down the street named Casey Kleinworth. They dated for approximately sixteen days, and while the break-up was rather icy, Ben still remembers the time fondly (along with being his first girlfriend, Casey was also his first kiss.) They were both pretty big Bill Murray fans, so most of the relationship was spent talking about Cattyshack, but for those two weeks, it was enough; sneaking behind the bleachers to kiss and discuss different ways to catch a weasel was all Ben really wanted, and if his parents hadn’t forced him to watch a repeat of Reagan’s inauguration, they might have never broken up.
But they did make him watch it, and so they did break up, setting motion a series of events that would closely follow him for years to come:
Ben meets girl, Ben likes girl, Ben takes girl out and things go great, things go so great that Ben starts to talk about his real interest (politics), Ben drives girl crazy and they break up, Ben meets new girl.
And then of course, he met Leslie.
--
Title: How Things Work Out
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for shornt, who wanted Leslie/Ben, Post-Harvest Festival.
--
In the end, it all, kind of works out.
--
The Harvest Festival is a huge success, (but honestly, Ben knew it would be), with the payoff being much greater then any of them expected. Leslie gets almost all the credit (as she deserves), with the entire parks department getting a thumbs of from Pawnee Today.
And Ben, well, things turn out pretty great for Ben.
--
“Leslie, you wanted to see me?” It’s a few days after the festival, one week before he has to leave.
“Yes Benjamin, please sit down. Some of the boys upstairs and I were talking, and we all agreed that although the government is currently stable, it would be pretty easy for it to slip back into Drags Ville. And so we, we being me and all the boys, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Yes, well, we were wondering if you would possibly consider staying on as Pawnee’s permanent budget handler.” Leslie’s face is flushed, and she’s wearing a giant smile.
“So, I’d have to move here?”
“Yes.”
“And I’d be working here permanently?”
“For all intensive purposes, yes.”
“And you’d pay me?”
“Most defiantly.”
“Well, Ms. Knope, I’m going to have to think about this” he says, smiling.
“You should know, Mr. Wyatt, if you take this position, we promise you won’t be disappointed.”
“We being you and the boys?”
“Of course.”
--
Title: The First Time It Happens
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben, Leslie/Mark
A/N: Written for sometime in the summer.
--
When it finally happens with Mark, they’re drunk.
It was a company party - a birthday to be exact - and, after making the proper rounds (because as Deputy Director, Leslie obviously has several important rounds to make. Obviously.), she finds herself playing Mark’s drinking partner (and yes, Leslie is aware that the role of drinking partner usually goes to a man, but she’s Leslie Knope for god sakes, and therefore refuses to follow the rules of a poor mans stereotype.) He’s being nicer then he is most days: then again, he’s had a lot to drink.
But Leslies willing to overlook that.
They don’t talk much, or at least, they don’t talk about anything even close to being important (their most interesting conversation of the night; whom does Leslie resemble more? - Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears.) They do drink a lot (Mark in particular), and Leslie wonders if he’s trying to forget something or if Marks just the kind of guy that gets wasted for no reason (that would explain a lot.)
When she asks if he wants to come over, the answer is a slurred yes.
A yes!
--
When it finally happens with Ben, they’re drunk. Or at least, they’re on their way.
MouseRat has a gig, and while it’s not technically a ‘company’ party, everyone from the parks department (plus Chris and Ben) turn up, so it certainly feels like one.
“This next one’s called “Nothing Tastes Better Then You” and it’s about a very special girl name April,” Andy said into the mike, causing April to blush, “this one’s for you, babe.”
I have a dream
I dream bout you and me
And I am eating
You
And nothing, baby
In all of history
Tastes bett-er than you, oh
“Wow,” Ben says to Leslie as they accept their drinks from the bartender, “Andy’s really pulling out all the chops, isn’t he.” Ben’s recently become quite attached to Andy, as his job is one of the few that Ben has no control over, thus making him one of the only people Ben feels he can get close to without the fear of being seen as Donald Trump.
--
Weeds
--
Title: Copenhagen
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Botwins (Nancy/Andy)
A/N: Written after the finale
--
In Copenhagen, they become normal again. Andy goes to work and gets them a place to live (and, it should be noted, this place is not a mobile vehicle.) Silas enrolls in college, although he’ll be the first to admit that it was a lot more enjoyable in Seattle. Shane finally goes back to school
They do miss Nancy, really, but life goes on, and, although none of them will ever mention it, their all kind of relived she’s not around to screw everything up.
Even Andy (especially Andy).
--
30 Rock
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Title: Shut your face
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Liz
A/N: Written for michellek, who suggested 30 Rock, Jack/Liz, shut your face.
--
It’s gotten to the point where whenever he has a problem with the baby, she’s the first person he calls.
“Wait - don’t you have a nanny?”
“She’s on vacation.”
“Okay, well, what about Avery, you know, your wife?”
“She’s reporting a snowstorm on the newly discovered island, ArcoTogo. No cell phone reception.”
“Fine, what’s the problem with Liddy?”
“She won’t stop crying.”
“And you’ve changed her?
“Yes.”
“Rocked her?
“Yes.”
“Already fed her?”
“Lemon, not all specimens eat the way you do.”
“… Shut your face.”
It’s pretty much goes on like this for a while. Not a lot more to it.
--
Community
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Title: Movie Monday
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Abed/Annie/Troy
A/N: Written for whirligigged, who suggested A living space, be it Abed's dorm, Annie's run down apartment, or Troy crashing at Pierce's place.
--
It’s sort of becomes a thing.
The three of them will pick a place (usually Abed’s dorm room, although that sometimes changes), decide on a movie (it tends to be sci-fi, but again, nothings set in stone), and then they do it.
Together, in that room, they have a secret movie Monday!
(In secret.)
--
“Okay, so what are we watching tonight?” Annie asks, sliding into a been-bag with a bowl of popcorn in her lap.
“WarGames.”
“Troy! You said last week that our next movie would be romantic!”
“But Annie,” Abed steps in, “WarGames has a romance between Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy.”
“… Is there kissing?”
“Yes.”
“Fine, but no singing alone with the side effects this time.”
“Dammit!”
--
Title: Midnight Phone Calls
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Britta(/Jeff)
A/N: Written after Jeff had Britta be Pierce's second emergency contact.
--
She gets a call at 2:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
“Hello. This is Linda from the Greendale police center. May I please speak with Britta Perry?”
“Speaking,” Britta mumbles, still half asleep.
“I have you listed here as Pierce Hawthorne 2nd emergency contact. He, along with several other elderly men, was found streaking in the Greendale Mall fountain, and we request you to come and pick him up immediately from the station.”
This wakes Britta up. Fast.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Pierce Hawthorne was seen streaking, and you, as his 2nd emergency contact, need to come pick him up.”
“I don’t remember signing up to be Pierce’s emergency contact.”
“Your names listed right here ma'am. Britta Perry. Twenty-eight. Resides near and attends Greendale Community College.”
“Okay lady, I get it. I’m Pierce’s emergency contact thingy. It’s just…”
This doesn’t make any sense; when did this happen? Why would this happen? It’s not like she would ever want to be his-
Wait. She’s the 2nd emergency contact. The 2nd emergency contact. The 2nd.
“Who’s Pierce’s first contact.
“Let’s see here: a Mr. Jeff Winger.”
Of course.
--
Doctor Who
--
Title: Woodstock
Rating: R, but a very light R
Pairing/Characters: Eleven/Amy
A/N: Written for glitterpenguin, who suggested Woodstock.
--
The first time is pretty difficult.
He’s resistant - far too resistant for her liking, going on about how it’s not at all wise and she just got married. He even goes as far as to push her on the floor when she attempts to remove his bowtie - but it doesn’t do him any good (Amy’s always been one for a challenge, and getting a nine hundred and seven year old alien to fuck her is a challenge if she ever met one.) In the end, it’s inevitable really; she’s the girl who waited and he’s the raggedy doctor, and whether or not he likes it, sex was always in the cards.
The funny thing is, though, when he finally comes (and he does), the Doctor doesn’t call out her name.
“Woodstock!”
“Doctor!” Amy shouts, climbing off him, “what the bloody hell was that?”
“Well I can’t very well call out your name, now can I? Rory might suspect something.”
--
Title: The Coming End
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Eleven/Amy
A/N: Written for tasty_kate, who suggested Every tiny bit of her reminds him of Gallifrey.
--
When the end finally comes - and it does come, fast and hard and with almost no warning at all (but than of course, she’s with the Doctor, so there was always some warning) - Amy spends her last moments in existents pondering all the things she’ll never get to do (all the while the Doctor goes on about how she reminds him of Gallifrey, which might be sweet if she knew what that was). It’s supposed to work as a distraction of their impending doom, but seeing as she traveled with him, there’s not a whole lot Amy feels she’s missed out on.
“Hey Pond,” he says, looking up at her with a smile that’s really not at all appropriate for the situation (but that’s the doctor for you; lives about to end and he gives her a smile), “was it still worth it, waiting for me all those years ago?”
Yes, she wants to say but doesn’t; she can’t give him the satisfaction, let him know how greatly he’s affected her, how much she loves him. Without the Doctor, Amy would have nothing to show for her life, be just another Scottish girl living in England. She’d go to work and pay the bills and listen to Rory tell her about whatever happened at the hospital that day (it wouldn’t be anything interesting, she assumes.)
The fact of the matter is, the Doctor is her everything, and without him she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.
“I don’t know,” she answers. “I mean, I don’t… no. No, it wasn’t worth it.”
He smiles.
“Liar.”
--
Glee
--
Title: Milkshakes
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Puck/Quinn(/Finn)
A/N: Written back when this ship and show had potential.
--
Finn buys you a milkshake.
Its 8:35 on a Saturday night after the football team has just played (lost) a game, and all the players and cheerios are out for pizza. The place is dirty and smelly, and you’re pretty sure that the chances of it having a rat problem are not small, but it’s the same pizza place they always go to when they’ve lost.
You’re just sitting there, being board, twirling your hair, when Finn walks up and gives you a milkshake, saying that he was thinking you might like it.
“Oh, my favorite!” you lie after taking a sip, because Finn got you vanilla even though you are strictly a chocolate girl. It doesn’t really matter though, because Finn’s and sweet and hot, and really, it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, so it shouldn’t matter that you have to suck it up and drink vanilla when you want chocolate.
Right?
--
Puck steals you a milkshake.
Its 9:45 on a Saturday night, after the football team has just played (won!) a game, and the Glee club decided to go out for pizza to celebrate. The place is pretty classy and smells nice, and you’re certain they do not have a rat problem.
As everyone is leaving, Puck walks up and hands you a milkshake.
“I stole this when the guy wasn’t looking” he says as you take a sip; it’s chocolate. “I know it’s your favorite and so I thought you might like it.”
You smile.
--
Harry Potter
--
Title: Pity
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Teddy Lupin
A/N: Written forever ago.
--
Pity. That’s all anybody ever feels for him. Not respect or thankfulness or even love. Just a small dose of sadness and a that poor little Teddy Lupin, his parents died in the war is all he’ll ever get, because it’s not like he’s famous or interesting or particularly important; he’s just some kid who lives with Harry Potter for a few days each week.
But really, Teddy doesn’t ever think he should expect anything more. It’s not like he’s The Boy Who Lived.
--
He knows a lot about his parents. More then he wants too.
He knows his father was a Werewolf and his mother was a Metamorphmagus. He knows they fell in love, although his father was against the idea. He knows they were killed in a second, risking their lives to defend friends and family.
He always remembers being told his parents were amazing. That they were kinda like super heroes and went around the world saving people from death all the time.
It doesn’t ever make him feel better.
--
Title: Smoking Stillness
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Lily/Snape (friendship/unrequited)
A/N: Written back when I was just becoming obsessed with Lily.
--
There’s a sense of complete emptiness as Lily inhales her cigarette and tries to gaze at clouds. She can’t; the trees are blocking her view, and even so, there aren’t any clouds to see. Just the same old milky blue sky, occasionally accompanied by a leaf blowing in the wind or a bird of some sort.
She’s not sure why she decided to come down here. Any intention of reading that book (what is it called again?) was non-existent, and it’s not as though she couldn’t smoke somewhere else.
Perhaps it was to see him, but Lily doesn’t think so, because she doesn’t miss him. Or, she does, but not in the way where she wants to see him. She misses him in that she’s reminiscent of what they had, of the conversations they shared and things they did. She misses the moments they had and people they were. But they aren’t those people anymore, and if Severus were to walk up to her now and plea forgiveness, she still wouldn’t want to see him, because that’s not who she misses; Lily misses a Severus who no longer exists.
Though, she contemplates while bringing the cigarette back up to her lips, she probably did come down here in the hopes of possibly seeing Sev, if for nothing else then to tell him to fuck off.
--
He looks much more depressing smoking then she does. Maybe it’s all the black he wears, or that look of pure dislike that seems to have become his only real expression. Either way, when Severus smokes, Lily can’t help but think it makes him look darker, deeper, maybe more mature…
“Why do you smoke so often, Sev?” she asks as he hands her the cigarette. “It’s so bad for you.”
“Why do you smoke?”
“Because you do.”
“Well,” he says, taking it back, “maybe I smoke because you do. You ever thought of that?”
Lily sniggers. “Please don’t expect me to believe that bullshit, Sev. I’m not some stupid little girl you can riddle into believing ever word that comes out of your precious little mouth.”
He just laughs. “Fine, I’m sorry. And you’re right; you’re not a stupid little girl anymore. You’re taller.”
“Fuck you,” Lily says, although she’s smiling.
--
Parks and Recreation
--
Title: The April Ludgate Song
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Andy/April
A/N: Written for nikki_1978, who suggested what happens after their kiss at the shoe shine stand.
--
In Andy’s short life, he’s only ever really believed in two things. Number one, if you want a hit song, the lyrics must include either 'Spread your wings and fly,' or 'You deserve to be a champion'. Number two, when a pretty girl who you really like kisses you and decides she wants to be your girlfriend, you must serenade her.
You must!
--
“Can I have everybody’s attention, please? I’ve written a song for my lovely girlfriend, April Ludgate, and I want you all to hear it.”
April… A P R I L
Your name is April
A is for amazing
P is for perfect
R is for radical
I is for incredible
And, oh, L is for lovely
April… A P R I L
Your name is April
Spread your wings and fly
Because you deserve to be a champion
And I like you…ohhh
--
Title: The Calzone Game
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for forgetregret009, who suggested a missing moment when Ben and Leslie went out to dinner together to get calzones... after 3x4.
--
“C’mon Leslie, you’ve got to admit, these calzones are pretty fly,” Ben says, taking a giant bite of a big, cheesy one.
Leslie hisses. “Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Fly,” she makes a barf face when saying it. “Don’t ever say that word.”
“Fine. But these calzones are good, right?”
“Define good.”
It’s been like this for a half hour, Ben asking Leslie if she like calzones and Leslie stalling. He’s taking it as a sigh that she might, possibly, maybe like him them!
“How about this: if you like the calzones nod your head. If you don't, shake it.”
She doesn’t move.
--
Title: Ben Wyatt's Love Game
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for buffyfan145, who wanted Leslie/Ben.
--
When Ben was thirteen, he got his first girlfriend, a Jewish girl from down the street named Casey Kleinworth. They dated for approximately sixteen days, and while the break-up was rather icy, Ben still remembers the time fondly (along with being his first girlfriend, Casey was also his first kiss.) They were both pretty big Bill Murray fans, so most of the relationship was spent talking about Cattyshack, but for those two weeks, it was enough; sneaking behind the bleachers to kiss and discuss different ways to catch a weasel was all Ben really wanted, and if his parents hadn’t forced him to watch a repeat of Reagan’s inauguration, they might have never broken up.
But they did make him watch it, and so they did break up, setting motion a series of events that would closely follow him for years to come:
Ben meets girl, Ben likes girl, Ben takes girl out and things go great, things go so great that Ben starts to talk about his real interest (politics), Ben drives girl crazy and they break up, Ben meets new girl.
And then of course, he met Leslie.
--
Title: How Things Work Out
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben
A/N: Written for shornt, who wanted Leslie/Ben, Post-Harvest Festival.
--
In the end, it all, kind of works out.
--
The Harvest Festival is a huge success, (but honestly, Ben knew it would be), with the payoff being much greater then any of them expected. Leslie gets almost all the credit (as she deserves), with the entire parks department getting a thumbs of from Pawnee Today.
And Ben, well, things turn out pretty great for Ben.
--
“Leslie, you wanted to see me?” It’s a few days after the festival, one week before he has to leave.
“Yes Benjamin, please sit down. Some of the boys upstairs and I were talking, and we all agreed that although the government is currently stable, it would be pretty easy for it to slip back into Drags Ville. And so we, we being me and all the boys, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Yes, well, we were wondering if you would possibly consider staying on as Pawnee’s permanent budget handler.” Leslie’s face is flushed, and she’s wearing a giant smile.
“So, I’d have to move here?”
“Yes.”
“And I’d be working here permanently?”
“For all intensive purposes, yes.”
“And you’d pay me?”
“Most defiantly.”
“Well, Ms. Knope, I’m going to have to think about this” he says, smiling.
“You should know, Mr. Wyatt, if you take this position, we promise you won’t be disappointed.”
“We being you and the boys?”
“Of course.”
--
Title: The First Time It Happens
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Leslie/Ben, Leslie/Mark
A/N: Written for sometime in the summer.
--
When it finally happens with Mark, they’re drunk.
It was a company party - a birthday to be exact - and, after making the proper rounds (because as Deputy Director, Leslie obviously has several important rounds to make. Obviously.), she finds herself playing Mark’s drinking partner (and yes, Leslie is aware that the role of drinking partner usually goes to a man, but she’s Leslie Knope for god sakes, and therefore refuses to follow the rules of a poor mans stereotype.) He’s being nicer then he is most days: then again, he’s had a lot to drink.
But Leslies willing to overlook that.
They don’t talk much, or at least, they don’t talk about anything even close to being important (their most interesting conversation of the night; whom does Leslie resemble more? - Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears.) They do drink a lot (Mark in particular), and Leslie wonders if he’s trying to forget something or if Marks just the kind of guy that gets wasted for no reason (that would explain a lot.)
When she asks if he wants to come over, the answer is a slurred yes.
A yes!
--
When it finally happens with Ben, they’re drunk. Or at least, they’re on their way.
MouseRat has a gig, and while it’s not technically a ‘company’ party, everyone from the parks department (plus Chris and Ben) turn up, so it certainly feels like one.
“This next one’s called “Nothing Tastes Better Then You” and it’s about a very special girl name April,” Andy said into the mike, causing April to blush, “this one’s for you, babe.”
I have a dream
I dream bout you and me
And I am eating
You
And nothing, baby
In all of history
Tastes bett-er than you, oh
“Wow,” Ben says to Leslie as they accept their drinks from the bartender, “Andy’s really pulling out all the chops, isn’t he.” Ben’s recently become quite attached to Andy, as his job is one of the few that Ben has no control over, thus making him one of the only people Ben feels he can get close to without the fear of being seen as Donald Trump.
--
Weeds
--
Title: Copenhagen
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Botwins (Nancy/Andy)
A/N: Written after the finale
--
In Copenhagen, they become normal again. Andy goes to work and gets them a place to live (and, it should be noted, this place is not a mobile vehicle.) Silas enrolls in college, although he’ll be the first to admit that it was a lot more enjoyable in Seattle. Shane finally goes back to school
They do miss Nancy, really, but life goes on, and, although none of them will ever mention it, their all kind of relived she’s not around to screw everything up.
Even Andy (especially Andy).