i kind of hate myself. like, honestly dislike myself for the conflicting feelings i have. i can't explain them here. i can't explain them anywhere. & i can't talk to anybody about them. it's ridiculous to be so ashamed & to feel such disdain for what you actually feel & want so much that you can't even talk to anyone about it. not even your family ( Read more... )

- illness has progressed terribly. i'm out of it due to sickness, & out of it just a little bit more due to the medication i'm taking to relieve the symptoms ... which typically only works for about a minute after i swallow it ( Read more... )

long time no update, eh ( Read more... )

sigh of relief. the people from colorado are buying our house. the lady is super duper nice. the kind of nice that leads to hiding frozen bodies in your freezer. i'm staying far, far away from her. her hubby reminds me of a golfer. it's in his hats, i think. i haven't met their kids yet. but the nearest one to my age is a 12 year old girl. what a ( Read more... )

vodka trippings: jesse annoys me ( Read more... )

sour skittles ( Read more... )

vodka trippings: okay. 'cause i'm curious & heather won't ask you ... are you a virgin ( Read more... )

i can't sleep. irk. mostly because i have crazy brutal thouhts about this chick that i don't even know, yet wish death upon. i'm crazy girlfriend like that. it's not jealousy, although i'm certain some of it is. it's more or less the fact that people like that. they make me literally sick to my stomache ( Read more... )

heather misses chris. i miss blind innuendo much more than chris, which i think probably says something about my personality ( Read more... )

i haven't updated this thing in a long time. good. i don't like it much ( Read more... )