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2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics 9 - Ladies LP - I heard it was pretty good, but what would I know?
As Jessie Spano once said, THERE'S NO TIME! NO TIME FOR ANYTHING! (I'll never pass geometry! I'll never get into Stanford! I'll never wash my hair ( Read more... ) -
2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics 7 - Dance FD - Phantom vs. Mahler vs. Bound Elvis Dirges
A few years ago, I sat in the back of the second violin section of a symphony orchestra while the conductor, a more nasal cross between Stephin Merritt and David Sedaris, told us the following: "Let me tell you a story about my great aunt. Gustav Mahler was married to Alma Mahler. Alma Mahler was the most highly desired woman in early twentieth ( Read more... ) -
2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics 4 - Men's SP - Everyone's fey! (and aggressively tell you otherwise)
As Evan Lysacek's tongue slips down to block his esophagus and his enunciation wallows into the category of "college skank on amateur man-on-the-street porn video", my blood pressure simmahs down. Ooh hunny - I'm like my ubiquitous two-ton lady in the white sun dress fanning my face with one leg up on the porch, swinging in a chair, getting ready ( Read more... ) -
2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics 3 - Pairs LP - Too bad there's no pair from Niue or Pitcairn Island
Tonight I learned that I'd make a bad judge. This is why:
Here are the official Pairs Long Program results:
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2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics 2 - Pairs SP - The Ox Flicks the Flea Off His Back
OK honeybunnies, I'm motivated to sling some more Olympic sass n' trash. At first I was feeling unarsed, but then Clarissa texted me with the following to get my loudmouth juices flowing:
Oh my god, what kind of mid '90s Mono meets Super Dave meets American Gladiator kind of bullshit just happened for the Ukranian pair on the ice just now? That ( Read more... )
