The Three Rules of Fandom

[quickreaver]

This was chugging around Twitter and tumblr, and I thought I'd share it here too, see what y'all think of it. Personally, I'm all for it. I can totally adhere to these basics...

Comments

[amberdreams]

I heartily agree. I have always fantasised about all sorts of things - sexual and non sexual - that I would in no way shape or form condone or wish to encounter in real life. I love fantasy books that deal with themes that are sometimes dark and miserable or warlike and violent - that doesn't mean I want mine or anyone else's life to be like that!

In addition, I think the attitude described in writing these Laws is one of entitlement - so many people these days seem to think they know best, their way is the only way, and their morality is the only morality. Well no, actually, tolerance is key to a happy life folks - and that doesn't mean tolerance of bad behaviour, it means respecting the rights of people to have opinions different from your own, and realise that people are different, and have different likes and needs.

Oh and above all, take responsibility for your OWN actions.

Now you've got me going! LOL

[quickreaver]

I also think there's an "ends justify the means" attitude, where it doesn't matter how you get there, as longs as you get the results you want. But that doesn't work so great with human beings. The journey is as important, if not more so, than the destination! So we're seeing some pretty ugly and directed behavior, with the endgame being either to shame or humiliate large swaths of fandom.

Best to avoid, if at all possible. It's hard, I know! But really, it'll make you happiest. :)

[kinkthatwinked]

I'm not deep enough into fandom to see how crazy it can get, but frankly it boggles my mind that some people still don't understand this stuff. But I suppose it shouldn't - the book Fangasm brought up how the "You're doing fandom wrong!" mindset seems to permeate the entire SPN fandom, like anyone who's exploring this 'verse in a way that's different must be scrutinized, judged, and reprimanded. God knows I've seen enough people who enjoy Wincest having to defend themselves, slash fans of any pairing seem to have enemies in those who don't want to imagine the characters as anything other than straight, and God forbid you enjoy some RP fic that doesn't match up to someone else's impression of the actors. Geez, who says we all have to enjoy the show in exactly the same way?

[quickreaver]

What did Fangasm say about it? Can you expound? I haven't read the book.

[kinkthatwinked]

Sorry it took me forever to get back to you. I had to find the quote

[quickreaver]

Thanks for typing all that in, woo!

That's pretty much what I thought it'd be: people have cliques. That's what it boils down to.

Once upon a time we needed these things for survival; not so much anymore. Not necessarily, anyway, and certainly not in a fandom. I also think people get some sort of rush from fighting and feeling like they've won. But there really isn't any winning here. It's so stupid, just tit for tatting, and the reasons are flimsy at best. I blocked someone on twitter the other day for her constant accusations and trawling for ways to be insulted, and when she found out I'd blocked her? Holy frijoles, she went on a tear! It was...um...disconcerting. And really unnecessary. :/

[roxymissrose]

I find it is very helpful to compose long, detailed posts as to why something is wrong, icky, or what-ever-the-hell, and then delete it--better yet, just do all that work in your mind. Or complain to a close friend, but don't take it upon yourself to tell the creator, "Oh, hell no" because creating stuff is not about satisfying one person or a group of persons. It's telling or showing your own story, and if folks like it, cool. If not, also cool, but they don't need to crap all over your parade

[quickreaver]

I nope out of fics far more frequently than I stay in them, for this very reason. We have SO much fic in this fandom, there's no need to read what you don't like, right?

I think what has happened is genuine social issues have become conflated with ships and "fandomming right." So now, it gets tricky. It's not just make-believe fun for some folks; it's a representation and reflection of "real life" and therefore, potentially harmful in that it supposedly "romanticizes" and/or "popularizes" unhealthy things, like, oh...incest. Or misogyny, or you name it.

I'm perfectly content to stay in my little end of the pool, but lately, some of the sludge has drifted my way. And I guess I just wanted to ruminate on what it means to be in a fandom. :)

Don't be sorry! Come sit by me. *pat pat*

[sillie82]

Yes. I've developed a lot of squicks/ dislikes in all my years in fandom, but I don't go around demanding stuff of people or telling them their art/fic is wrong. I just scroll on by, or in Tumblrs case, blacklist what I don't want to see (and only friend people who tag their posts, so that actually works. :') ). It's really not that hard.

[quickreaver]

I am virtually squick-proof! (Though I dislike humiliation and second-hand embarrassment...)

It really isn't tough to avoid what you don't like, but I suspect people get satisfaction out of fighting, for some reason. I'm sure there are a bazillion psychosomatic explanations, like it triggers endorphins or something? I dunno. I don't mind spirited, in-depth discussions of stuff, but so many folks either don't try to be empathetic or relate too closely to a particular character and it gets testy SO FAST. And it kinda needs to be taken down a notch or three, truly. I'm not downplaying sensitivities, but trying to put things in perspective a little. :)

[milly_gal]

I absolutely love this, and I think if more people got on with their own shizz and didn't try and 'police' this place, it'd be a far cheerier shindig! I'm going to have to repost this over at my place because I wholeheartedly agree with everything said here! Thank you!

[quickreaver]

Here's to cheerier shindigs! :D