Title: Stick Figure Drawings
Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Ryan Seacrest/Simon Cowell
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I am not these people and this never happened outside of my head.
Notes: Ig asked a question. I tried to answer it in a couple sentences but commentfic accidentally ensued. Posted well after the fact, and betaed by
llaras.
It's New Year's Eve 2013 when Ryan broaches the subject. Well, more accurately, it's the wee hours of New Year's Day. The countdown is over and the hubbub has died down and Ryan's debrief with his staff is done and he's being driven back to the hotel and thinking about time passing and it hits him that as of a week ago, he isn't even mid-30s anymore, but late-30s. It's not old but it is older and he thinks that even though his career goals are still number one, maybe it's time for everything else to stop being such a distant second.
He gets to his hotel suite and finds Simon waiting up for him like he always does on the rare New Year's they spend together even though Simon complains about the late hour and how ridiculous the time is for someone still on a London schedule; Ryan always tells him not to stay up but they both know that Simon enjoys finding reasons to be put out. Ryan muffles Simon's complaints with a several-hours-late New Year's kiss and they settle down on the bed on top of the covers, fully clothed, and talk. Simon asks Ryan what he wants in the new year and after a long silence, Ryan says "I think I want a family."
A longer silence follows before Simon responds with "I think you'd be a good father."
Ryan talks about his childhood and his parents and Meredith's kids and Simon's "mmm"s of acknowledgement become few and far between and finally Ryan trails off with a "... and you want none of this, do you?"
"You know I don't want children," Simon says. Then, softer, he continues "but that doesn't mean you can't have any."
"You'd do it for me?" Ryan asks, knowing that wasn't what Simon meant but hoping anyway.
"No."
"So if I want kids, that's it? It's over?"
"No, that's not what I meant either. I don't want to be a parent. I just... don't." Simon shrugs. "But I still want you."
Ryan starts to interrupt but Simon talks over him. "I want you and you want to be a dad and I want you to have what you want and what you want is children so... have children. I won't sign any forms or do diapers or football practice or any of that, but that doesn't mean we have to be over. Of course, if you'd want your kids to have a second father or even a mum in the picture so you're not going it alone, I'd understand."
*
Jenna arrives a year and a half later, carefully timed so that the final paperwork and her first days with Ryan take place when Simon's mid-series in England. She's three and quiet but it takes less than a month before she's chattier than Ryan. The only times she can be counted on to stop talking are when Ryan takes her to On Air and tells her to say "hi" into the mic, or when daddy puts his friend on speakerphone and she stops to listen to the funny way daddy's friend talks.
When Simon returns to LA, he heads to his house rather than directly to Ryan's. There are some things he needs to be well-rested to prepare for, and his first visit to the house that is no longer Ryan's but Ryan's and Jenna's can wait until the next day.
The period of adjustment goes smoothly for all three. Jenna takes immediately to Simon and her favorite spot to sit when they're all together watching Ryan or Simon's shows (or, god help Simon, a Disney princess movie) is in Simon's lap. Simon grudgingly admits after a month that okay, some kids aren't so bad to be around and starts staying nights at Ryan's more and more until they're back into some of their pre-Jenna habits, and on the rare occasions when the nanny cancels or Ryan's schedule changes, Simon offers to take Jenna to the park or the zoo; he likes the dolphins but Jenna smiles most at the peacocks, noting how pretty they are (but would be prettier if they were pink). And Ryan is careful not to push anything or force responsibility on Simon; parenting is not something Simon signed up for but he's in the picture anyway and Ryan's happy.
The first time Simon is away for more than a week, he asks Ryan to put Jenna on the phone.
Several months pass and the three settle into a rhythm as best they can given Ryan and Simon's constantly changing schedules throughout the year.
One night Ryan joins Simon on the couch after putting Jenna to bed and Simon recognizes the fidgety way Ryan acts when there's something on his mind.
"What is it?"
"I was thinking that Jenna might like a brother or sister," Ryan says. He waits for Simon to respond with reminders that any and all children are Ryan's and Ryan's alone.
"I think she'd like that," Simon says.
*
Simon's just finished a stint in England when Max arrives. Max is young, much younger than Jenna was when Ryan adopted her, and he cries all the time. Simon knows enough not to joke about the return policy, but he'd be lying if he claimed the thought never crosses his mind.
In time Max calms down. He cries less and starts to learn to talk - two traits that make any child infinitely more tolerable in Simon's book. Jenna dubs Max her prince.
*
Two years later, all of Simon's television contracts in England are up for negotiation at the same time. Ryan and Simon don't talk about it and don't talk about it and don't talk about it until one day when the four of them are out having a picnic and Simon brings it up when Jenna and Max are running around.
"I was thinking I might move here for a bit," Simon says.
"You already live here a bit," Ryan says.
Simon rolls his eyes. "A bit longer. I don't know how long. Indefinitely, maybe. I'll still need to go back, but no more being in England for months at a time. It's not good for us. It's not good for them." He nods toward Jenna and Max.
"You know you don't have to-"
Simon cuts Ryan off. "I know I don't have to. But I think they'd like it if I wasn't always leaving. I think I'd like it."
Ryan smiles. "I don't factor into this at all?"
"Who are you again?"
Ryan swats Simon's arm.
"I mean it though," Simon says. "If you want to make a serious go at doing the whole family thing, I could do that. I could move here and we could do this together."
"This?"
"This, them, us, Jenna and Max. Maybe we could even have another."
"Who are you again?" Ryan asks and this time it's Simon doing the swatting.
"I can renew all my contracts if you're going to be like this."
*
The big day is filled with lawyers and paperwork. Simon and Ryan are both on the official adoption papers and Simon names their newborn son Eric after his father. Then additional paperwork follows and Simon becomes Jenna and Max's second father.
*
The last addition to their family is a surprise, unplanned and unexpected. A friend of a friend heads to rehab and Ryan and Simon take in Olivia, just a few months younger than Max. Her stay stretches from weeks to months and beyond and it eventually becomes apparent that she's not wanted back. There's never a question of what they'll do with her and Ryan and Simon head to court to plead their case armed with many stick figure drawings of their 6-person family. It's a lengthy drawn out process before Olivia is legally theirs, but they'd considered her theirs long before.
*
It's the early hours of New Year's 2027 and Ryan returns to the hotel suite to find Simon snoring loudly on the couch. He rouses Simon with a "Come on, you'll be sore tomorrow if you stay on the couch and I don't want to listen to you complain all day."
Simon groans, half asleep, then continues to groan as Ryan tugs on his arm and makes him get up. By the time they reach the bed, Simon's fully awake.
"Good show?" Simon asks. "I caught most of it, but not the end."
"Good show," Ryan confirms. "You talked to the kids?"
Simon kisses Ryan on the forehead four times. "Just following orders. I was told I had to give you a kiss from each of them. They're all good; enjoying New Year's with friends, away from their old dads."
"Some of whom are older than others," Ryan says.
"Some of whom have more tact than others. Jenna said I'm to tell you she added another school to her list."
"Where does she want to go now?"
"Oxford."
"Oxford... England Oxford?"
"The one and only," Simon says.
"That's a little far away."
"More than a little."
Ryan sat down on the bed. "I can feel my hair turning grey at the thought."
"Your hair turned grey the day she brought home her first boyfriend."
"Says the man who's still dying his hair."
"Says the man who's started dying his hair."
"England," Ryan muses. "Well, I guess she's got cousins over there. And we can visit all the time."
"Assuming she doesn't change her mind five more times a week until it's time to decide."
Ryan laughs. "Do you miss it?" He asks suddenly.
"England? Of course."
"Do you regret moving here? Well, LA. Not New York here."
"Never."
Ryan gives Simon a jokingly skeptical look that masks a more earnest one.
"I mean it," Simon says. "I know I wasn't keen on the idea for the longest time, but I can't imagine not having our kids. I don't regret moving here for them at all."
"And I don't factor into this anywhere?"
"Who are you again?"
"It's tragic when the elderly mind starts to fail."
Simon makes a face at Ryan as they crawl under the covers. Ryan turns off the bedside light and leans over to give Simon a kiss before settling down on his pillow.
"Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year."