Drabble Dump 7
Title: Thunder
Pairing: some!Xiuhan
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Word Count: 1565
Summary: between us, the time difference became the space that unallowed us to be together
Notes: i’ve been in a writer’s rut for a bit and this is an attempt to get me back on track. title and summary taken from thunder by exok
minseok puts his car in park and smiles up at luhan. “this is your place, right?”
luhan glances out the window, his arms tightening around the jacket on his lap. “yeah,” he answers to mainly reassure minseok. he doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, seat belt still locked into place.
when luhan makes no move to get out of the car, minseok’s brows furrow a little in confusion. “are you going to go in?”
luhan’s eyes lock onto minseok. “are you going to kick me out of your car?”
minseok laughs, hands coming off the steering wheel to rake through his hair, “of course not, but why are you staying?”
“i wanted to talk. it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” luhan begins, eyes following minseok’s fingers as they settle carelessly on the wheel.
minseok settles back, foot coming off the brake. he blinks, shuffling through old memories. “damn. it has been awhile. we used to be pretty close in, what, junior year? we’re graduating in a few weeks, so it’s been about a year since we last talked. how have you been?”
luhan swallows and nods. “a little rough,” he confesses, trying to keep his tone nonchalant, “my last girl dumped me and i was getting pretty serious with her. i actually really liked her but she just said that she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet.”
minseok whistles, low and long. he turns to look at his old friend, saying, “sorry, man. did you know her for awhile?”
he shakes his head for no. “we met only a few months ago but i fell really fast. she was really cute.” luhan cracks a smile, “she was funny, too.”
“you were always a sucker for the pretty ones,” minseok chuckles.
luhan snorts. “of course.” you’re very pretty, too, you know.
“are you alright? did she really break your heart or…?” minseok trails off, trying to connect back with his friend. it’s been awhile, so all the little things that he used to know about luhan are faded and covered in dust. he’s trying to feel his way back to the luhan he knew and connect is to this present day luhan, sitting quietly in his passenger seat. the air conditioning continues to blow, even though the sun’s setting and the temperature’s about to set. minseok shivers and turns off the ac.
luhan does this little grimace that hints but doesn’t really say whether it hurts or not. “i guess. we had similar situations, similar backgrounds, so we connected really fast. same no father in the picture sort of backstory. she was really easy to talk to, to open up to. but she’s pushing me away now, so i think that’s over.”
“i’m sorry,” minseok doesn’t know why he’s apologizing but it seems right at the moment.
“thanks,” luhan says, just to try to not make minseok feel awkward. his hands clench around a sleeve of his jacket. “how have you been?”
“me?” minseok clarifies, and luhan nods. “i’ve been….fine. the usual. nothing really special, honestly. been coasting by for school but we’re almost finished.”
“that’s good to hear.”
“yeah? yeah.”
it’s quiet in the car, except for the sound of the engine idling. minseok reaches up and turns off the engine, leaving nothing but the sound of the engine cooling down. the air’s too stiff so he rolls down the window, the white noise of a suburb filtering in.
luhan chuckles suddenly, looking outside the window. “i do this really stupid thing, when i talk to someone i like. i get all flustered and my hands shake, thinking about how i should say hi, whether i should even say hi, or even what to follow up with after the greeting. i over think it,” he says, thumb tracing absently over his phone screen.
minseok’s lips curve up in memory. “yeah, i know.”
“i did that for you, too, when i was pursuing you.”
“i know. you said the stupidest shit. cheesy as fuck, too.”
the atmosphere between them is more relaxed as both of them begin to relax, managing to find their way back through their memories to more familiar ground. they’ve found that they’ve been looking for and it’s like rekindling their old talks that went for hours.
to them now, looking back at the memories, it’s a fond time, but back then, they had been trembling messes, unsure, unfamiliar, and unknowing.
“i never actually knew if you were seriously going after me or if i was just a casual thing,” minseok remineces.
luhan glances over to minseok and watches the way the shadows from the setting sun change minseok’s soft features, feeling a nostalgia of his younger self spending hours tracing minseok’s curves. “i thought i was serious. you were always so good at pushing.”
“and you were always good at pulling. god, you were the worst kind of flirt, persistent, texting me everyday,” minseok retorts. a warm breeze blows into the car and crispness from the ac is replaced by a soft summer remembrance. “did you actually like me enough to date me?”
“yes.” luhan’s answer is earnest and so honest that it startles a laugh out of minseok. “you never actually let me formally ask you out, though. you’d always reject me informally.”
minseok shrugs, trying to remember old memories. “i was afraid that you were just fucking around. i had heard that you had dated a girl before me and it was a nasty breakup.”
“fair enough.” luhan laughs, shifting his weight to the left. there’s silence for a moment before luhan asks, “do you remember the question that scared the shit out of me?”
minseok blinks at the shift in luhan’s tone and he looks back. “no? what did i say?”
now luhan can’t look minseok in the face, so he stares at the dark orange that dyes the sky. “you asked ‘is this going to be a serious thing?’ i remember it so vividly. i got that text and froze. it honestly scared the shit out of me. i remember i was so shocked by it because you had sprung it on me during a regular conversation, it was so out of the blue. i hesitated. i didn’t answer right away so you eventually just brushed it away and continued the conversation like nothing had happened. but i knew something had shifted, like i had just failed some test. looking back on it now, i should have said yes right away.”
there’s a little sad smile haunting around minseok’s lips when luhan manages to look back at his old crush. he’s not sure enough if what he’d felt for him was what could be called love, but back then, he wasn’t even sure of anything.
“i actually really liked you, too.” luhan’s breath freezes in his chest. “i don’t exactly remember asking that question but i remember you distancing yourself after some time. i thought that you had lost interest, so i sort of buried my feelings and moved on.
god, luhan wants to slap his old self. regret tinges the back of his mouth and he tries to swallow it away. “are you saying that you liked me back during the time i liked you?” luhan sputters, blinking rapidly.
the breeze blowing in now’s too hot, it’s stifling.
“yes, luhan. i really liked you back in junior year. and apparently, so did you,” minseok says with the softest of smiles.
“i feel so fucking retarded,” luhan blurts out.
minseok reaches over and it’s the most familiar feeling, when minseok messes with his hair, pulling out 2 chunks from luhan’s snapback. “you are,” he agrees.
luhan’s looking at minseok with his mouth open, eyes wide. “so--”
“so, nothing, luhan. it’s in the past. i’ve moved on, you’ve moved on. leave it in the past.”
his mouth closes. “it’s the end of senior year.”
minseok’s got a soft look in his eyes, saying, “there’s 2 weeks left until finals, luhan, and then we graduate. i’m moving to another city for my internship.”
“we have 3 weeks left,” luhan breathes out. he’s sweating in the car, shirt sticking to his chest. “we have 3 weeks--” he repeats.
“--3 weeks to get the most out of,” minseok interrupts. his voice is softer when he adds, “it’s old feelings, luhan. we don’t need to open this old can of worms just for 3 weeks of something we both aren’t even sure on. leave it.”
the wind picks up minseok’s hair and tousles it, pushing it into minseok’s eyes and luhan’s struck by how minseok hasn’t changed a bit since the first time they had met. since the first time, luhan hadn’t been able to stop how his eyes had unconsciously followed the cherry cheeked man.
“ok.”
“good night, luhan.” the sun’s over the horizon and all that’s left is dim streaks of red across the sky and lingering feelings that never had the chance to bloom.
luhan clicks his seatbelt off. “good night, minseok. thanks for the ride home. i appreciate it.”
he pops the door open, stepping on the concrete.
“you’re welcome, luhan.”
luhan turns back when minseok speaks again, hesitantly, “you know, i’m only a text away.”
luhan smiles. “thanks, minseok.” and the thanks carries more weight than just the simple thanks but he turns away and walks into the apartment complex.
Title: The Day You Went Away
Pairing: hinted!Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 750
Summary: Been lonely since the day the day you went away
Notes: nonau. because i enjoy pain. title taken from m2m’s the day you went away. i suggest looking at the lyrics for better understanding and more sadness.
they still talk. they text, they call, they keep tabs of each other but it’s not the same. communicating through a screen just isn’t the same as rolling over in his bed and whispering into the dark room, “luhan?” and luhan might or might not have been asleep but he’ll hum anyway, hum to let minseok know that he’s heard, that he’s there for minseok.
when minseok first started doing that, he had blinked in surprise that luhan had actually answered. luhan had to hum a second time, a lower hum than the first, quickly falling back asleep but minseok had found his voice and whispered his fears, these thoughts, these doubts he had about whether he’d actually be able to make it to debut.
when he had first whispered into their shared room about his thoughts, luhan had sat up and crossed the small room and nudged minseok aside, making himself comfortable before quickly rectifying minseok’s thoughts and filled minseok with luhan’s easy confidence that minseok had never been able to pick up.
luhan was minseok’s support, he was minseok’s column of strength, always there to remind minseok of how many times greg’s complemented his dancing how he’s the one who can hit the highest note in exo how he’s one of the brave koreans to stand in a foreign country and greet the crowd as ‘hello! i’m exo’s xiumin!’. minseok had shied away at first, too used to self doubt, but he had eventually listened to luhan’s half slurred korean, really listened to luhan’s fully heartfelt words. he took these encouraging words to heart and luhan beamed at how minseok slowly grew used to the limelight and even began to really bloom.
and after some time, after debut, after they finished their 3rd promotions, after they had wiped the makeup off their faces, minseok had crawled into luhan’s bed, his slight hesitation at the foot of luhan’s bed never repeated after luhan had scooted to the side just for minseok.
minseok’s had to learn how to stand on his own because he can’t hear luhan say these heartfelt words anymore. he listened to luhan’s own doubts, listened to luhan’s hisses of pain, listened to luhan hitting his breaking point and he returned the favor of so many years, encouraging luhan to take the path that was the best for him.
“this is our last time, minseok,” luhan’s smile before exo’s tlp in beijing was the saddest thing minseok had seen in his life, forever imprinted in minseok’s memories because he had been choked up, been fighting back tears because he’s supposed to be encouraging, supposed to leave luhan with memories of smiles not tears. they had finished their last concert in beijing, luhan’s hometown, and minseok had grabbed luhan extra hard for their fake kiss and really kissed him. minseok kissed his best friend in front of thousands of their fans, had kissed him with eyes squeezed shut to blink away the wetness that blurred luhan’s face.
they never really figured it out. minseok had tilted luhan so far down, no camera in the sea of their fans could get a good angle, but it was the perfect angle for luhan to see minseok’s tightly shut eyes and understand all the words that minseok never said--will never say.
no one was crying when they said their goodbyes. luhan and minseok’s eyes were dry when luhan pulled minseok close for the last time, when luhan stood at the entrance of their hotel door and thanked minseok for everything, when minseok had watched luhan take a different turn on his path of life.
minseok still checks up on luhan. he sends luhan the first link he comes across talking about luhan’s mv for his upcoming movie, sends it with a plethora of exclamation marks and emoticons because he’s so, so proud of his friend.
minseok listens to the song playing on his phone, listening to the foreign syllables that he’s able to make into a word or two and luhan’s voice and how easily the chinese sounds coming from him. and minseok wonders if luhan’s korean is fading, wonders if luhan’s able to remember how minseok used to always trip up on his chinese, but he won’t ever type down these questions to ask luhan because he’s more afraid of the potential answers than never knowing it.
minseok sometimes wonders if when he’s thinking of luhan, luhan’s thinking of him. he really does miss his best friend.
Title: Speak Softly, Love
Pairing: Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 949
Summary: Luhan used to woo Minseok by serenading him in the quad.
Notes: something sweet after all that bitterness. my attempt of fluff?
luhan used to woo minseok by serenading him in the quad. minseok had gone beet red from the embarrassment but he had always peeked between his fingers to watch his boyfriend, his silly, walking secondhand embarrassment of a boyfriend sing his heart out in front of the world to see. luhan would text minseok to look outside the window of whatever building minseok was in at the moment and when minseok had peered out in curiosity, he had nearly dropped his phone at the large grin on luhan’s face, hands positioned on a guitar.
“for you, my darling,” luhan had shouted up in mandarin and began playing, the soft chords of his guitar cheerfully playing as accompaniment to luhan’s voice singing minseok’s favorite chinese song. the song would happily bump along and luhan would just stand there, belting out his love to the world and minseok had rushed out of luhan’s view to tackle his boyfriend down to the grass, guitar strings twanging angrily.
people had just laughed at the couple’s antics, minseok’s friends cooing at the red that flushed from minseok’s ears to his necks, while luhan’s friends had jeered teasingly at how gross their friend was.
now that they’re tired from a long day from work, their wedding rings snug around their ring fingers, and gray sneaking in from the temples, minseok and luhan aren’t quite as exorbitant in their gestures of affections. but it doesn’t mean that because less people know, that minseok and luhan are no less in love.
instead of standing in the quad and strumming his strings, luhan leans tiredly on the couch while minseok lies across the couch, his toes on luhan’s calves as though they always need at least 1 point of touch. luhan’s face is screwed in confusion at the laptop screen, while minseok flips the page, not even halfway through the thick packet.
their comfortable silence is broken when minseok lets the packet full of lawyer jargon that he can’t digest anymore and requests a song.
“a song?” luhan had peered over the edge of his laptop, his brows scrunching his forhead.
minseok smiles and nods, repeating the request.
the look of confusion on luhan’s face slowly clears and he closes the laptop. “alright. a song for my minseok. any requests of which?” luhan asks, standing up slowly from the couch, feeling the kinks from sitting too long straighten out.
“surprise me,” minseok whispers, that same mischievous twinkle in his eyes from his younger days lighting up.
luhan bows at his husband, a deep but playful bow. “your wish is my command,” luhan deepens his voice and speaks formally, making minseok giggle.
the old guitar twangs in protest from being lifted from its case after such a long resting period and luhan grimaces at how the strings have stretched with time and had gone horribly out of tune. “just one moment, your grace,” luhan calls into the living room and he smiles at minseok’s playful “hurry up!”
it might have been years since luhan’s seriously played but his ears and fingers remember, adjusting the guitar back into tune, the sounds going from wonky twangs to crisp notes.
it takes luhan much longer to remember the cords than how to tune the guitar, mind rusty from time. minseok hums patiently from the living room, helping luhan clear up the cobwebs.
“a song for you,” luhan says, settling back into his place on the couch, minseok much closer now and with this look of anticipation. he plucks the strings, the guitar singing back to him in the way it used to when minseok had tackled him to the grass.
luhan’s voice is as sweet and flowing as honey, lilting on his mother tongue. this rendition is more mellow, a calmer version of the first but the sweet lyrics of the song still carries on. even if minseok hadn’t been able to understand the lyrics, the soft way luhan croons the song and the love that luhan has in his eyes is enough more minseok to understand.
minseok quietly joins, their voices a sweet and private melody for the two of them. minseok trips over the long unused syllables but he continues singing, swaying side to side to luhan’s rhythm.
“ni de xiaorong zheyang shuxi wo yishi xiang bu qi”
your smile is so familiar to me but i still can not remember where
their voices dip and sway, reminding them of the echoes of the spring of their 20th year, of the love, of the trials and tribulation, and of how far they’ve come.
“Ah .. zai meng li”
Ah..... in my dreams!!!
luhan sings the last note, voice going so soft it’s barely above a whisper and the last note from the guitar fades with luhan’s voice.
“beautiful,” minseok whispers.
“you are,” luhan praises back and he enjoys, as he has for many, many years, the roses that stain minseok’s cheeks,
minseok plucks the guitar from luhan’s grasp and sets it to the side of the couch. “thank you, han,” he says and luhan knows that minseok means so much more than just for the song.
minseok settles where the guitar had been and their bodies mold to each other, from years of habit and comfort. minseok had confessed one night that his favorite music to hear from luhan was his steady heartbeat and the silent music that luhan made when he ran his fingers through minseok’s hair.
they’re a lot older then when they first fell in love, but they’re so much more in love than when they first said that 3 word phrase, so many years ago.
Title: Iced Coffee, No Room For Cream or Sugar
Pairing: hinted!Xiuhan
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 417
Summary: luhan came and went like a summer breeze
Notes: because she said this was too xiuhan. in the timeline of this au and this
minseok hates feeling vulnerable. he hates that nerve wracking moment moment after presenting a project and the entire class is watching you, judging you. he hates that feeling he admits to himself and to luhan that he really fucking likes luhan.
it’s done over text because they’re both lying on their stomachs typing away at their phones in their own bedrooms when luhan casually brings up love interests and just like how minseok would comment that the sky was blue, he confesses to luhan that he likes him.
luhan doesn’t answer immediately.
minseok’s stomach twists itself so hard into knots that he rolls onto his back, unable to lay on his stomach any longer.
luhan’s reply, which comes in a heartbeat later, an eternity to minseok, whose nerves are stretched tight, is neutral. it’s neither an encouraging message but not discouraging. minseok doesn’t know what to make of it.
it’s taken minseok an entire summer, an entire 3 months for him to admit that he likes luhan, after a year of suppressing the feelings and moving on. and right now, it feels like it’s about to blow up in his face.
can we talk in person? face to face? something like this, i want to do in person.
minseok’s heart follows his stomach and twists itself into knots. something heavy settles deep in his stomach and he swallows past his tight throat.
he knows the answer now, he knows luhan’s answer and he fucking regrets it so much. regrets every moment of it, regrets that he even thought of telling luhan, regrets that he admitted it to himself. there was only 2 weeks left until they were going to go their separate ways but minseok ruins it, destroys their fragile balance by opening his virtual fat mouth.
he swallows past the disappointment.
yeah. when will you be free?
he’s going to be rejected in person, because luhan’s that kind of person. luhan’s the type to politely decline with a half grimace, half smile and a soft goodbye hug at the end.
tomorrow? i’d rather this be sooner than later
someone had told minseok that feelings were exciting, crushes were roller coasters of giddiness and despair, love comes with its good and bad. but minseok’s skipped past all the good feelings and all he can feel is that stabbing pain of something he can’t explain but it hurts and it makes him feel like shit.
minseok hates feeling vulnerable.
ok. see you then.
Title: “See You Whenever I See You”
Pairing: broken!Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1690
Summary: it's all like deja vu
Notes: i haven't written in moNTHS. in the timeline of this au and this
luhan’s visiting. luhan’s visiting korea for a whole month.
luhan’s texts minseok via kakaotalk that he’s coming to visit and minseok stares at his screen in confusion for a long moment. it’s been so long that he’s seen luhan’s stupid self-set nickname pop up back to the top of his kakao chats.
seok seok seokieeeeeeeee!!! i’m coming to visit seouuuuuul!!
minseok’s eyes widen and he grabs his phone from the top of the desk and unlocks his phone as quickly as possible.
what? you’re coming to visit? when??
minseok can feel a bubble of anticipation rise in his chest but he swallows, too afraid to get his hopes up.
luhan’s response is almost instantaneous.
yeah! i’ll be flying into seoul on the 15th of this month. you’ll free up some on your time to hang out with me, right?
minseok blinks, his fingers flying across the keyboard.
where will you be staying? what are you doing? why are you visiting?
question after question is flying through minseok’s brain and he limits himself to 4, before he overwhelms luhan.
at a hotel! i’m just visiting some people, doing some sightseeing. haha my boss threatened me to use my vacation days or else he’s locking me out of the company database. some nonsense like ‘i need to enjoy my youth’ or something.
he hesitates before typing his next reply, but he doesn’t hesitate because of his own feelings, just a little unsure of luhan’s response.
wtf luhan why are you staying at a hotel. i have a perfectly good guest room and you know it. crash at my place, it’s been getting lonely anyway. minseok pauses, erasing the last bit.
wtf luhan why are you staying at a hotel. i have a perfectly good guest room and you know it. crash at my place, you’re always welcome
luhan sends back a happily crying peach emoji. omg seok that’s too much of a hassle for you
LU.HAN.
hahahaha ok ok i’ll cancel my reservation. are you sure you won’t mind?
minseok swallows, allowing that little bubble of anticipation to bloom into something else.
shut up, luhan. you know i’d never mind.
thanks seok u da realestttttt
minseok rolls his eyes good naturedly but he continues talking to luhan to iron out the details of his trip, unconscious of the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips.
minseok’s name is called halfway across an airport and about 100 people turn their heads in confusion or surprise at the volume. minseok himself cringes at the embarrassment that is luhan but his sign with UGLY DEER written in chinese never wavers.
there’s a touch of gray at luhan’s temples, his wrinkles are deeper and seemed to have multiplied, but that same twinkle that made luhan look like he held the stars in his eyes haven’t changed and minseok simply melts at the familiarity of his embrace.
“welcome back,” minseok tongue is heavy on the rusty chinese.
“i’m back,” luhan’s korean is just as rusty but their smiles for each other are nothing but bright.
luhan has a seemingly endless amount of stories that luhan wants to tell minseok and minseok is more than content to lend an ear to listen and offer up the occasional korean word that luhan’s forgotten. luhan chatters the entire way home from the airport, detailing his life from when he had moved back to beijing.
there’s year to be caught up and luhan seems determined to pour it all out into minseok’s ear in te shortest time frame possible. minseok’s actually kind of amazed how luhan rarely seems to stop for a breath, even when they’re lugging luhan’s multiple suitcases into minseok’s apartment lobby.
And of course, the moment minseok unlocks the front door, luhan shoves in, the suitcase that he’s holding knocking into the own minseok’s in charge of and minseok has to lunge to catch the heavy thing from falling.
minseok’s teasing frown disappears when he follows after luhan into the apartment, kicking the suitcases in.
“you’ve barely changed anything.” there’s something in luhan’s voice that minseok can’t quite pinpoint what it is.
minseok shrugs. “i moved to a different location?”
luhan glances back at minseok, and there’s that same something in luhan’s voice that’s in his voice. minseok’s not sure now if he doesn’t know what it is, or if he’s too afraid to guess what it is.
luhan walks further into the apartment and minseok doesn’t follow, just stays by the threshold.
luhan’s voice floats back, the same something choking it up, “it looks the same, seok. why haven’t you changed anything?”
minseok doesn’t really have a reason, or one that he wants to actually say out loud. “i didn’t have a problem with how it looked, so i didn’t really have a reason to change anything.”
“minseok. it looks exactly like the apartment i left 4 years ago.”
luhan’s right but minseok hadn’t even realized that that much time had already gone by. has it really been that long? has it really been that long since luhan told minseok that’s he’s moving back to beijing because that’s where his department wants him to be? been that long since minseok and luhan had to come to the heartbreaking decision to end their relationship when they were both still in love? been that long since luhan’s packed up his bags and smiled that crooked smile and said, ‘see you when i see you.’? time’s gone by.
luhan breaks minseok out of his thoughts by saying, “well, i have a new mission to do here in korea before i go back.” that something is gone in luhan’s voice and instead it’s just filled with determination and a teasing tone.
minseok raises an eyebrow at him. “are you….going to redecorate my place or something?”
“hell yeah,” luhan counters back.
“be my guest.”
that weekend, luhan drags minseok’s ass to hongdae and picks out various trinkets to fill up minseok’s apartment. minseok more or less humors luhan but puts his foot down on the more ridiculous trinkets that minseok knows that luhan’s just holding up to see his reaction.
when minseok arrives home from work on monday, his apartment looks like someone else’s and he has to double take, stepping back to check the number on the door.
“what do you think of it?” luhan asks, stepping out of the guest room, towel around his neck, hair still damp from a shower.
“odd, like some crazy person decorated it,” minseok comments, eyes roaming around the apartment to note each of the changes. minseok’s not completely off; while the apartment does look more homely, there’s the occasional odd thing that no one but luhan would like.
luhan makes a wounded noise that minseok ignores, turning away to stare at a hideous green and white picture frame to hide his smile.
that night, minseok writes a mental note to go furniture shopping when luhan leaves and to actually get decent decor.
all too quickly, the month flies by, luhan leaving a week to go visit other friends, like baekhyun, who’s since moved to busan. and just like minseok feared, he’s settled back into that familiar routine with luhan. that same, terrible routine of when they used to live together, so many years ago, when they were deep in love with each other. minseok doesn’t really realize it until one day, he’s set out two coffee mugs instead of the usual single one and before minseok can truly process the horror behind it, luhan comes stumbling out of guest bedroom, hair askew everywhere, and eyes half open.
minseok just watches amused, as luhan collapses onto the kitchen counter and mumbles, “coffee?” it’s far too easy for minseok to recall how luhan likes his coffee, with way too much sugar and cream but when luhan takes that first sip, his eyes closing in ecstasy and mumbling a, “thank you, seok”, it’s all so easy to forget that luhan’s going to go back soon.
as much as they both don’t want to, the day arrives for luhan’s scheduled flight back home and minseok’s standing in that heartbreakingly deja vu airport. 4 years have past since minseok and luhan have both said their goodbyes, but it seems that no time at all has past for minseok’s feelings and it’s nearly ripping him apart to have to say goodbye to luhan again.
they’re standing there, in the entrance into the airport, the place before security, both with less hair than they used to have, both with more age on their shoulders, but with the same reluctance to leave.
there’s a lump in minseok’s throat and his chest is squeezing painfully. the scene’s a little bit different than 4 years ago, a striking difference. this time, they’re not saying goodbye still in love with the other, they’re saying goodbye as good friends. good friends, minseok tries to repeat to himself, swallowing down the forbidden fond feelings for luhan.
“thanks for visiting,” minseok says with a smile.
“thanks for having me,” luhan responds in like.
“it’s been nice to see you again.”
“nice too see that you haven’t changed too much, seok.”
“same for you, han. except you’ve just got more wrinkles around your eyes.”
luhan snorts, shifting the back strap back onto his shoulder. his gaze suddenly softens and he lifts up an arm. “i’ll miss you, seok.”
minseok’s smile droops a bit but he doesn’t hesitate to step into luhan’s hug, his own arm coming behind to quickly squeeze. “miss you, too.”
it’s familiar, painfully similar and minseok can feel how much it breaks his heart again to see luhan go.
“i guess it’s time for me to go back,” luhan says when they step back, sad smiles reflecting each other.
“yeah, yeah it is,” minseok says, “but it isn’t goodbye.”
luhan blinks.
“it’s a see you later.”
luhan smiles, drawing his suitcase closer to him. “right. see you whenever i see you, seok.”
“see ya.”
Talk to me if you wanna Tumblr Twitter
Pairing: some!Xiuhan
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Word Count: 1565
Summary: between us, the time difference became the space that unallowed us to be together
Notes: i’ve been in a writer’s rut for a bit and this is an attempt to get me back on track. title and summary taken from thunder by exok
minseok puts his car in park and smiles up at luhan. “this is your place, right?”
luhan glances out the window, his arms tightening around the jacket on his lap. “yeah,” he answers to mainly reassure minseok. he doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, seat belt still locked into place.
when luhan makes no move to get out of the car, minseok’s brows furrow a little in confusion. “are you going to go in?”
luhan’s eyes lock onto minseok. “are you going to kick me out of your car?”
minseok laughs, hands coming off the steering wheel to rake through his hair, “of course not, but why are you staying?”
“i wanted to talk. it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” luhan begins, eyes following minseok’s fingers as they settle carelessly on the wheel.
minseok settles back, foot coming off the brake. he blinks, shuffling through old memories. “damn. it has been awhile. we used to be pretty close in, what, junior year? we’re graduating in a few weeks, so it’s been about a year since we last talked. how have you been?”
luhan swallows and nods. “a little rough,” he confesses, trying to keep his tone nonchalant, “my last girl dumped me and i was getting pretty serious with her. i actually really liked her but she just said that she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet.”
minseok whistles, low and long. he turns to look at his old friend, saying, “sorry, man. did you know her for awhile?”
he shakes his head for no. “we met only a few months ago but i fell really fast. she was really cute.” luhan cracks a smile, “she was funny, too.”
“you were always a sucker for the pretty ones,” minseok chuckles.
luhan snorts. “of course.” you’re very pretty, too, you know.
“are you alright? did she really break your heart or…?” minseok trails off, trying to connect back with his friend. it’s been awhile, so all the little things that he used to know about luhan are faded and covered in dust. he’s trying to feel his way back to the luhan he knew and connect is to this present day luhan, sitting quietly in his passenger seat. the air conditioning continues to blow, even though the sun’s setting and the temperature’s about to set. minseok shivers and turns off the ac.
luhan does this little grimace that hints but doesn’t really say whether it hurts or not. “i guess. we had similar situations, similar backgrounds, so we connected really fast. same no father in the picture sort of backstory. she was really easy to talk to, to open up to. but she’s pushing me away now, so i think that’s over.”
“i’m sorry,” minseok doesn’t know why he’s apologizing but it seems right at the moment.
“thanks,” luhan says, just to try to not make minseok feel awkward. his hands clench around a sleeve of his jacket. “how have you been?”
“me?” minseok clarifies, and luhan nods. “i’ve been….fine. the usual. nothing really special, honestly. been coasting by for school but we’re almost finished.”
“that’s good to hear.”
“yeah? yeah.”
it’s quiet in the car, except for the sound of the engine idling. minseok reaches up and turns off the engine, leaving nothing but the sound of the engine cooling down. the air’s too stiff so he rolls down the window, the white noise of a suburb filtering in.
luhan chuckles suddenly, looking outside the window. “i do this really stupid thing, when i talk to someone i like. i get all flustered and my hands shake, thinking about how i should say hi, whether i should even say hi, or even what to follow up with after the greeting. i over think it,” he says, thumb tracing absently over his phone screen.
minseok’s lips curve up in memory. “yeah, i know.”
“i did that for you, too, when i was pursuing you.”
“i know. you said the stupidest shit. cheesy as fuck, too.”
the atmosphere between them is more relaxed as both of them begin to relax, managing to find their way back through their memories to more familiar ground. they’ve found that they’ve been looking for and it’s like rekindling their old talks that went for hours.
to them now, looking back at the memories, it’s a fond time, but back then, they had been trembling messes, unsure, unfamiliar, and unknowing.
“i never actually knew if you were seriously going after me or if i was just a casual thing,” minseok remineces.
luhan glances over to minseok and watches the way the shadows from the setting sun change minseok’s soft features, feeling a nostalgia of his younger self spending hours tracing minseok’s curves. “i thought i was serious. you were always so good at pushing.”
“and you were always good at pulling. god, you were the worst kind of flirt, persistent, texting me everyday,” minseok retorts. a warm breeze blows into the car and crispness from the ac is replaced by a soft summer remembrance. “did you actually like me enough to date me?”
“yes.” luhan’s answer is earnest and so honest that it startles a laugh out of minseok. “you never actually let me formally ask you out, though. you’d always reject me informally.”
minseok shrugs, trying to remember old memories. “i was afraid that you were just fucking around. i had heard that you had dated a girl before me and it was a nasty breakup.”
“fair enough.” luhan laughs, shifting his weight to the left. there’s silence for a moment before luhan asks, “do you remember the question that scared the shit out of me?”
minseok blinks at the shift in luhan’s tone and he looks back. “no? what did i say?”
now luhan can’t look minseok in the face, so he stares at the dark orange that dyes the sky. “you asked ‘is this going to be a serious thing?’ i remember it so vividly. i got that text and froze. it honestly scared the shit out of me. i remember i was so shocked by it because you had sprung it on me during a regular conversation, it was so out of the blue. i hesitated. i didn’t answer right away so you eventually just brushed it away and continued the conversation like nothing had happened. but i knew something had shifted, like i had just failed some test. looking back on it now, i should have said yes right away.”
there’s a little sad smile haunting around minseok’s lips when luhan manages to look back at his old crush. he’s not sure enough if what he’d felt for him was what could be called love, but back then, he wasn’t even sure of anything.
“i actually really liked you, too.” luhan’s breath freezes in his chest. “i don’t exactly remember asking that question but i remember you distancing yourself after some time. i thought that you had lost interest, so i sort of buried my feelings and moved on.
god, luhan wants to slap his old self. regret tinges the back of his mouth and he tries to swallow it away. “are you saying that you liked me back during the time i liked you?” luhan sputters, blinking rapidly.
the breeze blowing in now’s too hot, it’s stifling.
“yes, luhan. i really liked you back in junior year. and apparently, so did you,” minseok says with the softest of smiles.
“i feel so fucking retarded,” luhan blurts out.
minseok reaches over and it’s the most familiar feeling, when minseok messes with his hair, pulling out 2 chunks from luhan’s snapback. “you are,” he agrees.
luhan’s looking at minseok with his mouth open, eyes wide. “so--”
“so, nothing, luhan. it’s in the past. i’ve moved on, you’ve moved on. leave it in the past.”
his mouth closes. “it’s the end of senior year.”
minseok’s got a soft look in his eyes, saying, “there’s 2 weeks left until finals, luhan, and then we graduate. i’m moving to another city for my internship.”
“we have 3 weeks left,” luhan breathes out. he’s sweating in the car, shirt sticking to his chest. “we have 3 weeks--” he repeats.
“--3 weeks to get the most out of,” minseok interrupts. his voice is softer when he adds, “it’s old feelings, luhan. we don’t need to open this old can of worms just for 3 weeks of something we both aren’t even sure on. leave it.”
the wind picks up minseok’s hair and tousles it, pushing it into minseok’s eyes and luhan’s struck by how minseok hasn’t changed a bit since the first time they had met. since the first time, luhan hadn’t been able to stop how his eyes had unconsciously followed the cherry cheeked man.
“ok.”
“good night, luhan.” the sun’s over the horizon and all that’s left is dim streaks of red across the sky and lingering feelings that never had the chance to bloom.
luhan clicks his seatbelt off. “good night, minseok. thanks for the ride home. i appreciate it.”
he pops the door open, stepping on the concrete.
“you’re welcome, luhan.”
luhan turns back when minseok speaks again, hesitantly, “you know, i’m only a text away.”
luhan smiles. “thanks, minseok.” and the thanks carries more weight than just the simple thanks but he turns away and walks into the apartment complex.
Title: The Day You Went Away
Pairing: hinted!Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 750
Summary: Been lonely since the day the day you went away
Notes: nonau. because i enjoy pain. title taken from m2m’s the day you went away. i suggest looking at the lyrics for better understanding and more sadness.
they still talk. they text, they call, they keep tabs of each other but it’s not the same. communicating through a screen just isn’t the same as rolling over in his bed and whispering into the dark room, “luhan?” and luhan might or might not have been asleep but he’ll hum anyway, hum to let minseok know that he’s heard, that he’s there for minseok.
when minseok first started doing that, he had blinked in surprise that luhan had actually answered. luhan had to hum a second time, a lower hum than the first, quickly falling back asleep but minseok had found his voice and whispered his fears, these thoughts, these doubts he had about whether he’d actually be able to make it to debut.
when he had first whispered into their shared room about his thoughts, luhan had sat up and crossed the small room and nudged minseok aside, making himself comfortable before quickly rectifying minseok’s thoughts and filled minseok with luhan’s easy confidence that minseok had never been able to pick up.
luhan was minseok’s support, he was minseok’s column of strength, always there to remind minseok of how many times greg’s complemented his dancing how he’s the one who can hit the highest note in exo how he’s one of the brave koreans to stand in a foreign country and greet the crowd as ‘hello! i’m exo’s xiumin!’. minseok had shied away at first, too used to self doubt, but he had eventually listened to luhan’s half slurred korean, really listened to luhan’s fully heartfelt words. he took these encouraging words to heart and luhan beamed at how minseok slowly grew used to the limelight and even began to really bloom.
and after some time, after debut, after they finished their 3rd promotions, after they had wiped the makeup off their faces, minseok had crawled into luhan’s bed, his slight hesitation at the foot of luhan’s bed never repeated after luhan had scooted to the side just for minseok.
minseok’s had to learn how to stand on his own because he can’t hear luhan say these heartfelt words anymore. he listened to luhan’s own doubts, listened to luhan’s hisses of pain, listened to luhan hitting his breaking point and he returned the favor of so many years, encouraging luhan to take the path that was the best for him.
“this is our last time, minseok,” luhan’s smile before exo’s tlp in beijing was the saddest thing minseok had seen in his life, forever imprinted in minseok’s memories because he had been choked up, been fighting back tears because he’s supposed to be encouraging, supposed to leave luhan with memories of smiles not tears. they had finished their last concert in beijing, luhan’s hometown, and minseok had grabbed luhan extra hard for their fake kiss and really kissed him. minseok kissed his best friend in front of thousands of their fans, had kissed him with eyes squeezed shut to blink away the wetness that blurred luhan’s face.
they never really figured it out. minseok had tilted luhan so far down, no camera in the sea of their fans could get a good angle, but it was the perfect angle for luhan to see minseok’s tightly shut eyes and understand all the words that minseok never said--will never say.
no one was crying when they said their goodbyes. luhan and minseok’s eyes were dry when luhan pulled minseok close for the last time, when luhan stood at the entrance of their hotel door and thanked minseok for everything, when minseok had watched luhan take a different turn on his path of life.
minseok still checks up on luhan. he sends luhan the first link he comes across talking about luhan’s mv for his upcoming movie, sends it with a plethora of exclamation marks and emoticons because he’s so, so proud of his friend.
minseok listens to the song playing on his phone, listening to the foreign syllables that he’s able to make into a word or two and luhan’s voice and how easily the chinese sounds coming from him. and minseok wonders if luhan’s korean is fading, wonders if luhan’s able to remember how minseok used to always trip up on his chinese, but he won’t ever type down these questions to ask luhan because he’s more afraid of the potential answers than never knowing it.
minseok sometimes wonders if when he’s thinking of luhan, luhan’s thinking of him. he really does miss his best friend.
Title: Speak Softly, Love
Pairing: Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 949
Summary: Luhan used to woo Minseok by serenading him in the quad.
Notes: something sweet after all that bitterness. my attempt of fluff?
luhan used to woo minseok by serenading him in the quad. minseok had gone beet red from the embarrassment but he had always peeked between his fingers to watch his boyfriend, his silly, walking secondhand embarrassment of a boyfriend sing his heart out in front of the world to see. luhan would text minseok to look outside the window of whatever building minseok was in at the moment and when minseok had peered out in curiosity, he had nearly dropped his phone at the large grin on luhan’s face, hands positioned on a guitar.
“for you, my darling,” luhan had shouted up in mandarin and began playing, the soft chords of his guitar cheerfully playing as accompaniment to luhan’s voice singing minseok’s favorite chinese song. the song would happily bump along and luhan would just stand there, belting out his love to the world and minseok had rushed out of luhan’s view to tackle his boyfriend down to the grass, guitar strings twanging angrily.
people had just laughed at the couple’s antics, minseok’s friends cooing at the red that flushed from minseok’s ears to his necks, while luhan’s friends had jeered teasingly at how gross their friend was.
now that they’re tired from a long day from work, their wedding rings snug around their ring fingers, and gray sneaking in from the temples, minseok and luhan aren’t quite as exorbitant in their gestures of affections. but it doesn’t mean that because less people know, that minseok and luhan are no less in love.
instead of standing in the quad and strumming his strings, luhan leans tiredly on the couch while minseok lies across the couch, his toes on luhan’s calves as though they always need at least 1 point of touch. luhan’s face is screwed in confusion at the laptop screen, while minseok flips the page, not even halfway through the thick packet.
their comfortable silence is broken when minseok lets the packet full of lawyer jargon that he can’t digest anymore and requests a song.
“a song?” luhan had peered over the edge of his laptop, his brows scrunching his forhead.
minseok smiles and nods, repeating the request.
the look of confusion on luhan’s face slowly clears and he closes the laptop. “alright. a song for my minseok. any requests of which?” luhan asks, standing up slowly from the couch, feeling the kinks from sitting too long straighten out.
“surprise me,” minseok whispers, that same mischievous twinkle in his eyes from his younger days lighting up.
luhan bows at his husband, a deep but playful bow. “your wish is my command,” luhan deepens his voice and speaks formally, making minseok giggle.
the old guitar twangs in protest from being lifted from its case after such a long resting period and luhan grimaces at how the strings have stretched with time and had gone horribly out of tune. “just one moment, your grace,” luhan calls into the living room and he smiles at minseok’s playful “hurry up!”
it might have been years since luhan’s seriously played but his ears and fingers remember, adjusting the guitar back into tune, the sounds going from wonky twangs to crisp notes.
it takes luhan much longer to remember the cords than how to tune the guitar, mind rusty from time. minseok hums patiently from the living room, helping luhan clear up the cobwebs.
“a song for you,” luhan says, settling back into his place on the couch, minseok much closer now and with this look of anticipation. he plucks the strings, the guitar singing back to him in the way it used to when minseok had tackled him to the grass.
luhan’s voice is as sweet and flowing as honey, lilting on his mother tongue. this rendition is more mellow, a calmer version of the first but the sweet lyrics of the song still carries on. even if minseok hadn’t been able to understand the lyrics, the soft way luhan croons the song and the love that luhan has in his eyes is enough more minseok to understand.
minseok quietly joins, their voices a sweet and private melody for the two of them. minseok trips over the long unused syllables but he continues singing, swaying side to side to luhan’s rhythm.
“ni de xiaorong zheyang shuxi wo yishi xiang bu qi”
your smile is so familiar to me but i still can not remember where
their voices dip and sway, reminding them of the echoes of the spring of their 20th year, of the love, of the trials and tribulation, and of how far they’ve come.
“Ah .. zai meng li”
Ah..... in my dreams!!!
luhan sings the last note, voice going so soft it’s barely above a whisper and the last note from the guitar fades with luhan’s voice.
“beautiful,” minseok whispers.
“you are,” luhan praises back and he enjoys, as he has for many, many years, the roses that stain minseok’s cheeks,
minseok plucks the guitar from luhan’s grasp and sets it to the side of the couch. “thank you, han,” he says and luhan knows that minseok means so much more than just for the song.
minseok settles where the guitar had been and their bodies mold to each other, from years of habit and comfort. minseok had confessed one night that his favorite music to hear from luhan was his steady heartbeat and the silent music that luhan made when he ran his fingers through minseok’s hair.
they’re a lot older then when they first fell in love, but they’re so much more in love than when they first said that 3 word phrase, so many years ago.
Title: Iced Coffee, No Room For Cream or Sugar
Pairing: hinted!Xiuhan
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 417
Summary: luhan came and went like a summer breeze
Notes: because she said this was too xiuhan. in the timeline of this au and this
minseok hates feeling vulnerable. he hates that nerve wracking moment moment after presenting a project and the entire class is watching you, judging you. he hates that feeling he admits to himself and to luhan that he really fucking likes luhan.
it’s done over text because they’re both lying on their stomachs typing away at their phones in their own bedrooms when luhan casually brings up love interests and just like how minseok would comment that the sky was blue, he confesses to luhan that he likes him.
luhan doesn’t answer immediately.
minseok’s stomach twists itself so hard into knots that he rolls onto his back, unable to lay on his stomach any longer.
luhan’s reply, which comes in a heartbeat later, an eternity to minseok, whose nerves are stretched tight, is neutral. it’s neither an encouraging message but not discouraging. minseok doesn’t know what to make of it.
it’s taken minseok an entire summer, an entire 3 months for him to admit that he likes luhan, after a year of suppressing the feelings and moving on. and right now, it feels like it’s about to blow up in his face.
can we talk in person? face to face? something like this, i want to do in person.
minseok’s heart follows his stomach and twists itself into knots. something heavy settles deep in his stomach and he swallows past his tight throat.
he knows the answer now, he knows luhan’s answer and he fucking regrets it so much. regrets every moment of it, regrets that he even thought of telling luhan, regrets that he admitted it to himself. there was only 2 weeks left until they were going to go their separate ways but minseok ruins it, destroys their fragile balance by opening his virtual fat mouth.
he swallows past the disappointment.
yeah. when will you be free?
he’s going to be rejected in person, because luhan’s that kind of person. luhan’s the type to politely decline with a half grimace, half smile and a soft goodbye hug at the end.
tomorrow? i’d rather this be sooner than later
someone had told minseok that feelings were exciting, crushes were roller coasters of giddiness and despair, love comes with its good and bad. but minseok’s skipped past all the good feelings and all he can feel is that stabbing pain of something he can’t explain but it hurts and it makes him feel like shit.
minseok hates feeling vulnerable.
ok. see you then.
Title: “See You Whenever I See You”
Pairing: broken!Xiuhan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1690
Summary: it's all like deja vu
Notes: i haven't written in moNTHS. in the timeline of this au and this
luhan’s visiting. luhan’s visiting korea for a whole month.
luhan’s texts minseok via kakaotalk that he’s coming to visit and minseok stares at his screen in confusion for a long moment. it’s been so long that he’s seen luhan’s stupid self-set nickname pop up back to the top of his kakao chats.
seok seok seokieeeeeeeee!!! i’m coming to visit seouuuuuul!!
minseok’s eyes widen and he grabs his phone from the top of the desk and unlocks his phone as quickly as possible.
what? you’re coming to visit? when??
minseok can feel a bubble of anticipation rise in his chest but he swallows, too afraid to get his hopes up.
luhan’s response is almost instantaneous.
yeah! i’ll be flying into seoul on the 15th of this month. you’ll free up some on your time to hang out with me, right?
minseok blinks, his fingers flying across the keyboard.
where will you be staying? what are you doing? why are you visiting?
question after question is flying through minseok’s brain and he limits himself to 4, before he overwhelms luhan.
at a hotel! i’m just visiting some people, doing some sightseeing. haha my boss threatened me to use my vacation days or else he’s locking me out of the company database. some nonsense like ‘i need to enjoy my youth’ or something.
he hesitates before typing his next reply, but he doesn’t hesitate because of his own feelings, just a little unsure of luhan’s response.
wtf luhan why are you staying at a hotel. i have a perfectly good guest room and you know it. crash at my place, it’s been getting lonely anyway. minseok pauses, erasing the last bit.
wtf luhan why are you staying at a hotel. i have a perfectly good guest room and you know it. crash at my place, you’re always welcome
luhan sends back a happily crying peach emoji. omg seok that’s too much of a hassle for you
LU.HAN.
hahahaha ok ok i’ll cancel my reservation. are you sure you won’t mind?
minseok swallows, allowing that little bubble of anticipation to bloom into something else.
shut up, luhan. you know i’d never mind.
thanks seok u da realestttttt
minseok rolls his eyes good naturedly but he continues talking to luhan to iron out the details of his trip, unconscious of the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips.
minseok’s name is called halfway across an airport and about 100 people turn their heads in confusion or surprise at the volume. minseok himself cringes at the embarrassment that is luhan but his sign with UGLY DEER written in chinese never wavers.
there’s a touch of gray at luhan’s temples, his wrinkles are deeper and seemed to have multiplied, but that same twinkle that made luhan look like he held the stars in his eyes haven’t changed and minseok simply melts at the familiarity of his embrace.
“welcome back,” minseok tongue is heavy on the rusty chinese.
“i’m back,” luhan’s korean is just as rusty but their smiles for each other are nothing but bright.
luhan has a seemingly endless amount of stories that luhan wants to tell minseok and minseok is more than content to lend an ear to listen and offer up the occasional korean word that luhan’s forgotten. luhan chatters the entire way home from the airport, detailing his life from when he had moved back to beijing.
there’s year to be caught up and luhan seems determined to pour it all out into minseok’s ear in te shortest time frame possible. minseok’s actually kind of amazed how luhan rarely seems to stop for a breath, even when they’re lugging luhan’s multiple suitcases into minseok’s apartment lobby.
And of course, the moment minseok unlocks the front door, luhan shoves in, the suitcase that he’s holding knocking into the own minseok’s in charge of and minseok has to lunge to catch the heavy thing from falling.
minseok’s teasing frown disappears when he follows after luhan into the apartment, kicking the suitcases in.
“you’ve barely changed anything.” there’s something in luhan’s voice that minseok can’t quite pinpoint what it is.
minseok shrugs. “i moved to a different location?”
luhan glances back at minseok, and there’s that same something in luhan’s voice that’s in his voice. minseok’s not sure now if he doesn’t know what it is, or if he’s too afraid to guess what it is.
luhan walks further into the apartment and minseok doesn’t follow, just stays by the threshold.
luhan’s voice floats back, the same something choking it up, “it looks the same, seok. why haven’t you changed anything?”
minseok doesn’t really have a reason, or one that he wants to actually say out loud. “i didn’t have a problem with how it looked, so i didn’t really have a reason to change anything.”
“minseok. it looks exactly like the apartment i left 4 years ago.”
luhan’s right but minseok hadn’t even realized that that much time had already gone by. has it really been that long? has it really been that long since luhan told minseok that’s he’s moving back to beijing because that’s where his department wants him to be? been that long since minseok and luhan had to come to the heartbreaking decision to end their relationship when they were both still in love? been that long since luhan’s packed up his bags and smiled that crooked smile and said, ‘see you when i see you.’? time’s gone by.
luhan breaks minseok out of his thoughts by saying, “well, i have a new mission to do here in korea before i go back.” that something is gone in luhan’s voice and instead it’s just filled with determination and a teasing tone.
minseok raises an eyebrow at him. “are you….going to redecorate my place or something?”
“hell yeah,” luhan counters back.
“be my guest.”
that weekend, luhan drags minseok’s ass to hongdae and picks out various trinkets to fill up minseok’s apartment. minseok more or less humors luhan but puts his foot down on the more ridiculous trinkets that minseok knows that luhan’s just holding up to see his reaction.
when minseok arrives home from work on monday, his apartment looks like someone else’s and he has to double take, stepping back to check the number on the door.
“what do you think of it?” luhan asks, stepping out of the guest room, towel around his neck, hair still damp from a shower.
“odd, like some crazy person decorated it,” minseok comments, eyes roaming around the apartment to note each of the changes. minseok’s not completely off; while the apartment does look more homely, there’s the occasional odd thing that no one but luhan would like.
luhan makes a wounded noise that minseok ignores, turning away to stare at a hideous green and white picture frame to hide his smile.
that night, minseok writes a mental note to go furniture shopping when luhan leaves and to actually get decent decor.
all too quickly, the month flies by, luhan leaving a week to go visit other friends, like baekhyun, who’s since moved to busan. and just like minseok feared, he’s settled back into that familiar routine with luhan. that same, terrible routine of when they used to live together, so many years ago, when they were deep in love with each other. minseok doesn’t really realize it until one day, he’s set out two coffee mugs instead of the usual single one and before minseok can truly process the horror behind it, luhan comes stumbling out of guest bedroom, hair askew everywhere, and eyes half open.
minseok just watches amused, as luhan collapses onto the kitchen counter and mumbles, “coffee?” it’s far too easy for minseok to recall how luhan likes his coffee, with way too much sugar and cream but when luhan takes that first sip, his eyes closing in ecstasy and mumbling a, “thank you, seok”, it’s all so easy to forget that luhan’s going to go back soon.
as much as they both don’t want to, the day arrives for luhan’s scheduled flight back home and minseok’s standing in that heartbreakingly deja vu airport. 4 years have past since minseok and luhan have both said their goodbyes, but it seems that no time at all has past for minseok’s feelings and it’s nearly ripping him apart to have to say goodbye to luhan again.
they’re standing there, in the entrance into the airport, the place before security, both with less hair than they used to have, both with more age on their shoulders, but with the same reluctance to leave.
there’s a lump in minseok’s throat and his chest is squeezing painfully. the scene’s a little bit different than 4 years ago, a striking difference. this time, they’re not saying goodbye still in love with the other, they’re saying goodbye as good friends. good friends, minseok tries to repeat to himself, swallowing down the forbidden fond feelings for luhan.
“thanks for visiting,” minseok says with a smile.
“thanks for having me,” luhan responds in like.
“it’s been nice to see you again.”
“nice too see that you haven’t changed too much, seok.”
“same for you, han. except you’ve just got more wrinkles around your eyes.”
luhan snorts, shifting the back strap back onto his shoulder. his gaze suddenly softens and he lifts up an arm. “i’ll miss you, seok.”
minseok’s smile droops a bit but he doesn’t hesitate to step into luhan’s hug, his own arm coming behind to quickly squeeze. “miss you, too.”
it’s familiar, painfully similar and minseok can feel how much it breaks his heart again to see luhan go.
“i guess it’s time for me to go back,” luhan says when they step back, sad smiles reflecting each other.
“yeah, yeah it is,” minseok says, “but it isn’t goodbye.”
luhan blinks.
“it’s a see you later.”
luhan smiles, drawing his suitcase closer to him. “right. see you whenever i see you, seok.”
“see ya.”
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