SPN Fic: "Save You, Save Me"
“Save you, Save me”
SPN
Jo, Dean, Sam
PG-13
Set after 3.06 “Red Sky at Morning”
Summary:
Jo learned about love from Bob Seger and from old shoeboxes full of faded letters and dusty pictures under her mom’s bed.
Jo learned what it was like to have a broken heart after watching two men turn their backs and leave her sight to never return.
“Jo?”
When she heard the voice on the other end of the phone call, she knew she was due for another lesson.
**
Jo met Sam at a rest stop near Dayton, Ohio. He stood at the hood of the Impala, waiting for her. He had lost weight and the dark circles under his eyes reminded her about his phone call.
“You have to help me help Dean.”
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey.” He spoke low like someone else was listening besides her.
She glanced inside the empty car. “Where’s Dean?”
“Told him I was going to wash the car for him while he watched some Steven Seagal movie at the motel.”
They both smiled. Only Dean could make Sam smile like that--small, shy, crooked--only Dean.
“I’ll do what I can,” Jo said.
Sam lifted his gaze behind her. Jo could hear the whoosh as traffic sped on the highway beyond the grassy hill.
He gave his head a shake. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You don’t have to explain anything.” She realized her voice lowered bit by bit. She understood Sam’s tone now. They were telling secrets to each other. “I came because I wanted to.”
“Thank you,” Sam said. “I mean, after everything--”
She shrugged. “It’s in the past.”
Sam nodded. “Right.”
And they weren’t worried about that anymore.
They were worried about the future.
**
The door to the motel room was unlocked. Jo turned the knob and walked in. The television set was on, tuned into another action flick. Van Damme.
“Took you long enough.” Dean came out of the steam-filled bathroom, dressed in a black T-shirt and blue jeans. He ran a towel through his wet hair. His eyes narrowed when he saw her. “Jo? What the hell are you doing here?”
“Sam--”
He dropped the towel. “Where is he?”
Right away, Jo knew. She knew Dean could never leave Sam behind. No matter what he told Sam, no matter what he told himself, he wouldn’t be okay with leaving Sam.
“He’s at the car wash,” she said. “For real this time.”
“He called you?” Dean asked.
“Yeah.”
With a heavy sigh, he shut off the movie and turned away from her. “What the hell does he think he’s doing? Some kind of intervention?”
This was what Sam was talking about. The “I-don’t-care-if-I’m-dying” attitude that Dean had been perfecting since they left Atlantic City.
Seeing it first-hand made Jo’s chest tighten with anger and frustration.
“Do you blame him?” she said.
Dean spun around, eyes wide. “Don’t talk to me like you know what’s going on.”
“I do know what’s going on.” She fought to keep her voice low. Maybe it was time to tell him secrets. “When Sam was possessed, did you give up? No. You did everything you could to save him. There was nothing in this world that was going to stop you. Isn’t that right?”
“It’s not the same thing.”
Jo let out a bitter laugh. “Not the same thing? Wake up, Dean. Sam’s your world. Don’t you think it’s the same with him?”
Dean’s shoulders sagged. She was getting through.
“Do you want to know why Sam called me?” Jo’s voice was still low, but it shook now as more secrets tumbled out. “I’m here to remind you that you did save Sam. When he--when he used me as bait--you were there to help him. You stopped him. Now tell me, Dean, what do you think he would have done if you hadn’t showed up? If you didn’t think he was worth saving?” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d probably be dead right now.”
“Don’t say that.” He joined her in sharing secrets. “Don’t--” It faded into a whisper.
Jo sat down at the edge of one of the beds. “You know I think about you guys a lot. About what my life was like before you and Sam came looking for my mom. Then I think about what if you guys never came. The Roadhouse would still be up. Ash--he’d still be alive. My mom, she never would have told me about our dads. Sam never would have come after me in Duluth. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have been in Duluth anyway; I’d still be cleaning tables with my mom.” She put her hands on her knees and looked up at Dean. His gaze was on the floor. “You taught me a lot about life, Dean.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “That it’s shit?”
“Yeah.” She stood up. “It’s not pretty. You lose people. You fight. You hate. You get hurt. But that’s life.”
“So what do you want?” His face darkened. “For me to say you’re welcome for showing you how hard life is?”
“I want you to admit that you’re scared. That you want help. That you want Sam to try everything he can to save you just like you did for him.”
Dean was quiet. He closed his eyes, stood still for a moment, then opened his eyes back up.
“I can’t,” he said.
His eyes told another story.
Jo softened her voice. Don’t give him low. Give him soft. “No matter how hard life seems to be, you survive. It can be the same way with death. You can beat this thing, but that’s only if want to, and you can’t if don’t try. And that’s all Sam wants--he just wants you to try.”
Dean stared up at the ceiling as his eyes watered. “He told you this?”
“He didn’t have to.”
Dean wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. “Look at me. I’m a freaking after-school special.”
Jo smiled slightly. “I always knew you were the sensitive type.”
He grunted and took in a deep breath. “Look, Jo, I know you’re just trying to help, but let me and Sam take care of this. It’s between the two of us.”
“Not anymore.” She pointed a finger to herself. “Sam called me. I’m a part of this now.”
She remembered the last time she said those words to Dean. How he had rejected her.
This time around he responded with silence.
“There are other people, not just Sam, who think your life is worth saving,” Jo said.
“That’s sweet, Jo, really, thanks.” He gave her a sardonic smile.
She balled her hands into fists and set herself back on the mattress.
“So, what?” Dean puffed out his chest, taking a defensive stance. “You’re not going to leave until I ask for help?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
“I don’t think so.” He grabbed her arm and hauled her to the door.
Outside the room, Jo turned to find Dean shutting the door in her face.
Unbelievable.
A minute later, the sounds of Van Damme returned from the room.
Actually, this was believable.
**
More minutes passed. Fifteen maybe.
Jo sat on the curb outside the motel room listening to Dean flip through the TV channels.
Just pick something!
She turned her head to look at the window. The shades were drawn. When she turned back around, Sam was in front of her.
“What happened?” he asked.
“What do you think?” She crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, Sam. I tried.”
He joined her on the ground. “It’s not you. Dean--he’s not going to listen to anyone, is he?”
“He’s listening,” she said. “He just acts like he isn’t.”
Sam ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “He’s doing a good job at it.”
“Yeah, but just remember, he’s acting.”
“So you think he really wants help?”
“If he didn’t, he would have personally driven me out of Ohio.”
The motel room became quiet. The door swung open and Dean stepped out as he put on his jacket.
“I don’t like it when people talk behind my back.” He held out his hand. “Keys, Sam.”
Frowning, Sam gave the keys to the Impala to him.
“Hope you waxed her up too.” Dean jingled the keys and walked to the parked car a few feet away.
Sam’s gaze never left his brother.
“I think we should keep trying,” Jo said.
“And do what?”
As Sam turned to look at her, Jo’s gaze moved to Dean. He ran a hand down the sparkling side of the Impala. It was a loving gesture. He still cared about things. Another sign that he wasn’t ready to die.
“We’re going to show him his life is worth saving,” she said. “We’ll show him every sunrise, every sunset. I promise.”
Jo didn’t know if Sam believed her or not, didn’t ask, but she believed in her words, and that was enough.
**
Jo learned that love was much more than song lyrics and old memories as she saw the way Sam looked at Dean and the way Dean looked at Sam. Love was blood. Love was solid.
Jo learned broken things could be mended when she climbed into the backseat of the Impala.
“You’re serious?” Dean said, brows raised.
Jo didn’t budge. “You still have a lot to teach me about life.”
THE END
SPN
Jo, Dean, Sam
PG-13
Set after 3.06 “Red Sky at Morning”
Summary:
Jo learned about love from Bob Seger and from old shoeboxes full of faded letters and dusty pictures under her mom’s bed.
Jo learned what it was like to have a broken heart after watching two men turn their backs and leave her sight to never return.
“Jo?”
When she heard the voice on the other end of the phone call, she knew she was due for another lesson.
**
Jo met Sam at a rest stop near Dayton, Ohio. He stood at the hood of the Impala, waiting for her. He had lost weight and the dark circles under his eyes reminded her about his phone call.
“You have to help me help Dean.”
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey.” He spoke low like someone else was listening besides her.
She glanced inside the empty car. “Where’s Dean?”
“Told him I was going to wash the car for him while he watched some Steven Seagal movie at the motel.”
They both smiled. Only Dean could make Sam smile like that--small, shy, crooked--only Dean.
“I’ll do what I can,” Jo said.
Sam lifted his gaze behind her. Jo could hear the whoosh as traffic sped on the highway beyond the grassy hill.
He gave his head a shake. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You don’t have to explain anything.” She realized her voice lowered bit by bit. She understood Sam’s tone now. They were telling secrets to each other. “I came because I wanted to.”
“Thank you,” Sam said. “I mean, after everything--”
She shrugged. “It’s in the past.”
Sam nodded. “Right.”
And they weren’t worried about that anymore.
They were worried about the future.
**
The door to the motel room was unlocked. Jo turned the knob and walked in. The television set was on, tuned into another action flick. Van Damme.
“Took you long enough.” Dean came out of the steam-filled bathroom, dressed in a black T-shirt and blue jeans. He ran a towel through his wet hair. His eyes narrowed when he saw her. “Jo? What the hell are you doing here?”
“Sam--”
He dropped the towel. “Where is he?”
Right away, Jo knew. She knew Dean could never leave Sam behind. No matter what he told Sam, no matter what he told himself, he wouldn’t be okay with leaving Sam.
“He’s at the car wash,” she said. “For real this time.”
“He called you?” Dean asked.
“Yeah.”
With a heavy sigh, he shut off the movie and turned away from her. “What the hell does he think he’s doing? Some kind of intervention?”
This was what Sam was talking about. The “I-don’t-care-if-I’m-dying” attitude that Dean had been perfecting since they left Atlantic City.
Seeing it first-hand made Jo’s chest tighten with anger and frustration.
“Do you blame him?” she said.
Dean spun around, eyes wide. “Don’t talk to me like you know what’s going on.”
“I do know what’s going on.” She fought to keep her voice low. Maybe it was time to tell him secrets. “When Sam was possessed, did you give up? No. You did everything you could to save him. There was nothing in this world that was going to stop you. Isn’t that right?”
“It’s not the same thing.”
Jo let out a bitter laugh. “Not the same thing? Wake up, Dean. Sam’s your world. Don’t you think it’s the same with him?”
Dean’s shoulders sagged. She was getting through.
“Do you want to know why Sam called me?” Jo’s voice was still low, but it shook now as more secrets tumbled out. “I’m here to remind you that you did save Sam. When he--when he used me as bait--you were there to help him. You stopped him. Now tell me, Dean, what do you think he would have done if you hadn’t showed up? If you didn’t think he was worth saving?” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d probably be dead right now.”
“Don’t say that.” He joined her in sharing secrets. “Don’t--” It faded into a whisper.
Jo sat down at the edge of one of the beds. “You know I think about you guys a lot. About what my life was like before you and Sam came looking for my mom. Then I think about what if you guys never came. The Roadhouse would still be up. Ash--he’d still be alive. My mom, she never would have told me about our dads. Sam never would have come after me in Duluth. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have been in Duluth anyway; I’d still be cleaning tables with my mom.” She put her hands on her knees and looked up at Dean. His gaze was on the floor. “You taught me a lot about life, Dean.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “That it’s shit?”
“Yeah.” She stood up. “It’s not pretty. You lose people. You fight. You hate. You get hurt. But that’s life.”
“So what do you want?” His face darkened. “For me to say you’re welcome for showing you how hard life is?”
“I want you to admit that you’re scared. That you want help. That you want Sam to try everything he can to save you just like you did for him.”
Dean was quiet. He closed his eyes, stood still for a moment, then opened his eyes back up.
“I can’t,” he said.
His eyes told another story.
Jo softened her voice. Don’t give him low. Give him soft. “No matter how hard life seems to be, you survive. It can be the same way with death. You can beat this thing, but that’s only if want to, and you can’t if don’t try. And that’s all Sam wants--he just wants you to try.”
Dean stared up at the ceiling as his eyes watered. “He told you this?”
“He didn’t have to.”
Dean wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. “Look at me. I’m a freaking after-school special.”
Jo smiled slightly. “I always knew you were the sensitive type.”
He grunted and took in a deep breath. “Look, Jo, I know you’re just trying to help, but let me and Sam take care of this. It’s between the two of us.”
“Not anymore.” She pointed a finger to herself. “Sam called me. I’m a part of this now.”
She remembered the last time she said those words to Dean. How he had rejected her.
This time around he responded with silence.
“There are other people, not just Sam, who think your life is worth saving,” Jo said.
“That’s sweet, Jo, really, thanks.” He gave her a sardonic smile.
She balled her hands into fists and set herself back on the mattress.
“So, what?” Dean puffed out his chest, taking a defensive stance. “You’re not going to leave until I ask for help?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
“I don’t think so.” He grabbed her arm and hauled her to the door.
Outside the room, Jo turned to find Dean shutting the door in her face.
Unbelievable.
A minute later, the sounds of Van Damme returned from the room.
Actually, this was believable.
**
More minutes passed. Fifteen maybe.
Jo sat on the curb outside the motel room listening to Dean flip through the TV channels.
Just pick something!
She turned her head to look at the window. The shades were drawn. When she turned back around, Sam was in front of her.
“What happened?” he asked.
“What do you think?” She crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, Sam. I tried.”
He joined her on the ground. “It’s not you. Dean--he’s not going to listen to anyone, is he?”
“He’s listening,” she said. “He just acts like he isn’t.”
Sam ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “He’s doing a good job at it.”
“Yeah, but just remember, he’s acting.”
“So you think he really wants help?”
“If he didn’t, he would have personally driven me out of Ohio.”
The motel room became quiet. The door swung open and Dean stepped out as he put on his jacket.
“I don’t like it when people talk behind my back.” He held out his hand. “Keys, Sam.”
Frowning, Sam gave the keys to the Impala to him.
“Hope you waxed her up too.” Dean jingled the keys and walked to the parked car a few feet away.
Sam’s gaze never left his brother.
“I think we should keep trying,” Jo said.
“And do what?”
As Sam turned to look at her, Jo’s gaze moved to Dean. He ran a hand down the sparkling side of the Impala. It was a loving gesture. He still cared about things. Another sign that he wasn’t ready to die.
“We’re going to show him his life is worth saving,” she said. “We’ll show him every sunrise, every sunset. I promise.”
Jo didn’t know if Sam believed her or not, didn’t ask, but she believed in her words, and that was enough.
**
Jo learned that love was much more than song lyrics and old memories as she saw the way Sam looked at Dean and the way Dean looked at Sam. Love was blood. Love was solid.
Jo learned broken things could be mended when she climbed into the backseat of the Impala.
“You’re serious?” Dean said, brows raised.
Jo didn’t budge. “You still have a lot to teach me about life.”
THE END