Part One

[quiet_cow]

            “What happened to that kinder, gentler Rodney McKay?” Sheppard asks with a grin.

“He died of heat exhaustion about an hour ago.” Rodney mutters, wiping his brow and taking a seat in the shade cast off one of the rusty colored rock formations jutting from the sand like a spike.

“The Wraith facility is

Comments

[jansma]

Lots of teasing, but I think you could have drawn this out a bit longer as it feels... unfinished, and there's an air of you wanting to get past the boring human bits. And that's a shame because the possibilities are endless. I hope you won't take this too hard, hon. :D

A question: Why Marfan's Syndrome? I find it interesting you've picked this genetic disease, and I wonder if you're also going to incorporate the physiological aspects it often comes with i.e. heart, eye and connective tissue defects? I have a personal interest as my foster son died at 17 through complications to his aortic valve and his sister has recently had her aorta replaced (their maternal aunt had her mitral valves replaced). It also runs in families, even though it is the commonest of the genetic variations, often cropping up in families with no previous history.

[quiet_cow]

I didn't take it hard at all. I love some criticism since it really does help. The lead up gave me trouble since I have the main series of events so clear.

I picked Marfan's since I guessed that would be something Jennifer might pull out of the air to explain why she looks the way she does. I was browsing body types from Africa when it struck me, since it made me think of Akhenaten.

[kiku65]

Hmm, interesting. Why Kevin Bacon?

[quiet_cow]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Degrees_of_Kevin_Bacon

[kiku65]

Gah, now all I can think about is butties and maths. Odd combination.

[quiet_cow]

You won't have to wait much longer. =)