Ridiculous whining
I have a cleaning OCD
- I am so stressed I can't sit still
- Half the time I want to cry, but it's usually only during class.
- I'm skipping class not because I don't want to go, but because I have so much homework due that I can't go to the classes I don't get homework in, in order to get the rest of my work done.
- I'm working my ass off just to tread water, and I'm doing more shitty that I've ever done at school.
- I hate the letter C and all it stands for.
- I hate that as of right now, it's pretty obvious there is no way in HELL I can get a 3.5 this semester.
- I hate that I know I'm going to have to look like a wimp and only take 12 credits next semester, just so I won't end up wanting to not live anymore, like I do right now.
- I want my mom
- I want my phone back so I can call my mom, or Caitlyn, or anyone who will fucking listen to me so that I don't clean the toilet and the bathroom more often than it needs to be done.
- I hate that I'm crying, that I feel as though I can never catch my breath, I want a nap so bad but I can't bring myself to the point where I'll give up and take one.
- I don't do jack shit on the weekends till Sunday night because Friday and Saturday is the only time I can think about sleeping or seeing my friends, or relaxing even the slightest bit, but then it comes to bite me in the butt because come Sunday I'm drowning in all the homework I put off for 24 hours.
- I am failing Calculus, no matter how many hours I put into it, something goes wrong and I end up fucked over.
- I'm losing my short term memory cuz I feel I have to think so fast that I just skip over small details that end up being extremely important.
- I have no money and the thought of how this entire year I'm going to be completely broke, and more broke than anyone in this house because I don't have a credit card, I don't have a job that pays $10 an hour nor a car to get me there, and I dont have a rich mommy and daddy who will pay for ANYTHING other than rent and my phone (when I have one).
- I can't sit still. I almost went to a counselor today to see what I could do to make myself manage my time better.
- I hate how I'm out of the house either for school or work 8-10hours a day mon-thurs and don't get to bed until after 2am if I'm lucky.
- I hate that I feel so stupid for writing this. And I hope none of you got through this far, because I really don't want you to give two shits about it either way.