On another downer tonight, after being up for most of the day. There's just no rhyme or reason to it.

One day my self-loathing will boil over. Either that or one of the many people who despise me will save me the trouble.

Why can't I rescue myself from this situation? Probably because I'm a pathetic cunt, as my mate said.

I hate the way that everything I do, everywhere I go and everyone I spend time with reminds me, and reinforces the fact, that I am an absolutely useless piece of piss.

I can't do it.

I still hope one day to meet the girl from Tesco on Argyle Street and ask her out, because she seems really nice, and even if she says no it'll be ok because at least I'll have tried.

I can't hold on to my mates or a healthy sex life, and am a disgusting, pathetic, needy piece of shit.

There was a really good documentary on by Stephen Fry about manic depression and bi-polar disorder. Apparently 4million people in the UK have it - that should make me feel better, but now I feel that my problem isn't worth worrying about cos there's hundreds of folk worse off.

Everything really sucks, and the last few days have just forced me to think about so much stuff that I've tried to push down and away from me.

Everything changes, but it all stays the same.

Yes, just when I could do with a wee lift ( Read more... )

My God, I hope she dies before I do. I will piss on her grave.

I hate myself and I want to die.

Any ideas?

Although there's only one person who reads this, and Jamie, I know you're happy at the moment, so don't worry about this, its fine.

Edit: That's not malicious or anything, mate. Its just you've heard it all before and its not fair to dump it on you again.