Party snippet
A while back I suggested a party scene challenge for the fluff thread at the Quill. Then I avoided thinking about it until well after Christmas. Then a bunny bit me and didn't let go, so here it is.
( Long rambling explanation )
( Long rambling explanation )
Comments 19
Reply
Oh yes. Even though he hates small talk, he managed to introduce himself to Lady Du Sult, as he he had an 'in' through knowing Michael. Neville isn't such a shrinking violet these days :D Of course, she passed him the name of Richard and Roger's practice straight away.
I couldn't work in Romilda's unibrow in the end - but it's in my mental picture, along with her ironing-board chin!
I thought you showed their backstory very economically.
My clipboard is littered with discarded fragments - LITTERED I tell you.
I'm so glad you liked it. Neville wasn't *too* horrible to poor Delilah, I hope? Tsk. All that time gathering plants in the back of beyond, he's lost a few of those lovely manners Gran taught him.
Reply
Honestly - if you read all the party snippets from this fluffy exercise, you'd think ever party in the HP world was full of personal intrigue and animosity.
LOL - ironing board chin. I'll have to remember that one.
Reply
I just realised this version had some typos / repeated words from an earlier version, so I've fixed it. Not that it matters, I just had an obsessive need to point that out :D
Reply
I loved that last observation of Romilda's - if either of them had held it a second longer they'd have Disapparated together without a thought. So near, and yet so far.
And it flows so beautifully with the sense of the party happening all around them but Neville only thinking about one thing. So lovely.
Must go and re-read Roger and Lisa now! Though I'm not sure I can bear to carry on with Asking for Roses now I know there's no happy ending - LOL!
Reply
Reply
Speaking of Forest, that's the only reason I got your Scarlet Pimpernel reference They seek him here, they seek him there ..."
I could only do this to them with the distance of ten years! It felt freeing to write a more confident, grown-up Neville but now I feel the need to anxiously explain that even if Romilda thinks it's the trappings of the life Ernie could offer that appealed to Hannah, it's much more complicated than that! In another story.
I'm not sure I can bear to carry on with Asking for Roses now I know there's no happy ending - LOL!Argh - my worst nightmare! I said this in my own journal - I'm not going to let it affect ( ... )
Reply
Hee hee. I hadn't even thought of that! (Lois is very keen to have you back in the Pimpernels...)
And speaking for me, if my writing ever approaches anything like Forest's I'd die happy.
I am sort of reading AfR - I've read the first half a dozen chapters and now I'm waiting for you to finish it (hint, hint) and then I'll read the rest. But if you're promising a happy(ish) ending, I'll carry on!
Reply
“Are you leaving because of me - don’t you trust me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not the issue.”
“It should be.”
I like your Neville so much. The opening is just a wonderful little character moment, with Neville using that sandwich as a prop. I can picture it perfectly.
Kudos to you for doing that exhausting and brave work!!
Reply
I feel quite wrung out, and not a little impatient with the pair of them ;) At the same time I'm surprisingly energised for the next chapter of my WIP.
I'm so glad you enjoyed Neville - I'm completely in love with him, and writing him as a more confident adult was a very interesting experience.
Thank you so much for reading :)
Reply
Although *mrrow* Romilda's noting that if they held on for a moment longer they might just...*pop* out and away was deelish!
Its really, really horrible seeing them apart, and I kind of wanted to SMACK Ernie, because it seemed like such a marriage of settle-ment, but one can't blame Hannah for not waiting around forever!
But its accurate, after a war, after the losses, and all the chaos and personal things they've got to work through it's more than likely that they might end up drifting before they get back together, and Ernie, though sucessful, obviously doesn't have the ties to Hannah's past that Neville has, and he seems to lack chemistry with her. Perhaps it is because I'm USED to reading Neville with Hannah but Ernie is so...tepid.
Romilda was properly HORRID, as was Neville's shrill, shrewish date (although I do like his sort of "ahh sigh" resignation towards going for a second date, he doesn't seem like an enthusiastic dater does he?)
Reply
LOL - do not fear. Any separation, heartbreak, obstacles in Neville and Hannah's future will be TEMPORARY.
Neville stayed away too long. *smacks Neville upside the head* Why did he do that?
But its accurate, after a war, after the losses, and all the chaos and personal things they've got to work through it's more than likely that they might end up drifting before they get back together,
*nods* It's sad but true.
Ernie, though sucessful, obviously doesn't have the ties to Hannah's past that Neville has, and he seems to lack chemistry with her.
Hahaha - you mean you noticed? Poor Ernie but he is a verrry persuasive chap and Hannah has that gorram insecure streak a mile wide ...
Its really, really horrible seeing them apart, No picnic to write I can tell you. But I feel like I've properly pushed myself and 13 is going much better ( ... )
Reply
Reply
You know, that was one of the major problems I had before writing this. But I think I have it figured out now!
I do feel sorry for Ernie, though.
I'll be interested to know if you feel the same way after I've written their story which now won't leave me alone!
I was clear on who was speaking a couple of times. I don't know if it's because I'm not as familiar with Neville/Hannah, or because a tag or two was needed.
It's very interesting that you say this. I usually go with a lot of description - too much sometimes, as you said, to the detriment of the flow of the story. With this one I think I ended up with none becasue it too me so much work to get the backstory right and I still wasn't quite 'there' with the emotional backdrop. Now that I'm getting more clear with how everything happened, when (if) I revise this, more description may find its way in. Then again, some people have commented that they like it this way ... I think it's always a tough one.
But of course now ( ... )
Reply
Leave a comment