Valentine's fluff

[rosathome]

I'm first again! I'm clearly completely incapable of working right up to a deadline. I just like crossing things off lists and this is easier than work!

Valentine’s Conflict/Chocolate Fluff.

This is an outtake from my WIP, The Squib. It’s a next-generation fic, featuring among others Bert and Ben Weasley, the identical twin sons of George and Padma

Comments

[peverell]

I hope you will forgive a comment from an unknown but I have been reading the thread at SQ, only I'm unable to post to it yet.

I liked the way we jumped right in at the middle of the argument and how they each supposed they knew what the other was thinking. Causes heaps of trouble, that. ;-)
Molly's explanation of how things responded to her made me think how we can grow more comfortable with things over time, and that makes it easier somehow. I loved the way you used that point to round off this story.

:thumbs up:
Xianiane

[rosathome]

Thanks so much for reading it and thanks for your encouraging comments. Working out how what Molly said fitted with the argument was a late night flash of inspiration so I'm glad you think it worked.

[grandma_kate]

Oh Ros, That was just my style of conflict. Each of them assumes that the other knows something , which they do, but are not applying it in this particular situation.

Laura's sympathy and chunk of Honeyduke’s milk chocolate with butterscotch pieces is helpful, as is Molly's teaching Zoe some household spells; but it is up to Zoe and Ben to start being more straightforward about expressing what they really want. I really like Ben and Zoe. They have a rosy future. No pun intended.

[rosathome]

I'm glad you liked it. I really tried to follow St Margaret's advice about thinking what each person fears most so that the conflict is actually meaningful. For Zoe, it's that she's not good enough for Ben and for Ben, it's being treated differently because he's a Squib.

I'm not sure if this piece will actually make it into the Squib but there will certainly be some more struggles between these two before it all works out.

[nancyness]

I really enjoyed this. It's the kind of conflict where the reader rolls their eyes, knowing exactly what's going on and wants to step into the story and explain things--very slowly and using small words--to the characters. As long as it's resolved in short order, which you did, it adds enough tension to the story without going overboard into major ansgt territory.

Along those lines, I liked that Laura saw what the problem was but still offered the wrong solution. "If he's going to be sensitive..." then the obvious answer is to tell him, "I'm not avoiding magic, I just don't do well at household spells." It's not trying to change Zoe so she's a different witch than the one Ben knows. Again, very realistic and well-done.

[rosathome]

Thank you! My real problem with writing conflict is that I always want my characters to behave rationally and just talk it through immediately. I can't bear major angst.

Have you read the larger story that this comes from? It's archived at Phoenix Song and there's a link from my LJ.

[stmargarets]

Oh, I hate angst, too. But I like how you let this disagreement lie dormat for a few days so that Zoe could learn from the "master." Laura seems like the perfect daughter for H/G - very Ginny-like in her passion with Harry's sense of humor.

I really like the idea of watching magic being done by a squib and how he takes it all in stride - even though those spells are so mysterious to Zoe. It just goes to show how your upbringing will tell. This was the perfect sort of conflict - it seems trivial - but it gets to the heart of their insecurities. Therefore they are a better couple after the argument than before.

I also like the descriptions of the meal and the magic that you took the time to write. A lovely Valentine's treat.

[rosathome]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you think it worked. I took to heart your advice about conflict on the fluff thread and really tried to think about what these two fear in their relationship. For Zoe, it's that she's not good enough for Ben and for him, it's being treated differently because he's a Squib. There's lots of potential issues to do with the crossover of their worlds that I think these two will have to deal with.

I think that if this ever makes it into the proper story, I'd probably intersperse it with other threads of the plot, to give more of a sense of the time lapse. And I might have a scene where Ben 'talks it over' with his brother - though those two never seem to do much actual talking together, they just watch TV or go flying and that seems to do the trick.

Anyway, thanks for your comments - helpful and encouraging as always.

[moonette1]

Oh, I absolutely LOVED this! One of the things I admire most about you, Ros, is your sense of humor. That and your quick wit. And these are evident in abundance in this story. It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud when reading fic, but I did more than once with this. I love Zoe! I wish I could write an OC like that. She's full of fire and strong and stands up for herself. And she literally jumps off the page - tapping foot, smouldering eye, looking around wildly for her bag - I LOVE her energy!

Laura needs a clue but she's good-hearted. And Molly was hilarious! ("Not just Laura's version." and "My memory's not what it used to be." LOL!

There's something to be said for writing realistic conflict that was extremely fun and at times funny, yet, as I said, realistic...and heartfelt.

Excellent!

[rosathome]

Thanks, moonette. I don't deliberately set out to write funny things, it's just that's how I tend to see the world and so those are the details that I put in my stories. I'm glad you think it works on the page. And what do you mean you wish you could write OC's like that?! All your OC's are great.

I'm so glad that you think this was realistic conflict too. That's the thing that I find hard - working out what would trigger a real conflict between characters without it just seeming trivial or contrived.

Thanks for reading!